Lieutenant's Mayhem
by Mystic Blade
Summary: Ruka was happy as the third seat of the seventh squad but once Komamura transfers her as a lieutenant for ninth squad, she finds out it's not all it's cracked up to be when madness and mayhem follow her path.
1. Unwanted Promotion

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach but if I did, I'd give more airtime to Komamura, Kyoraku, Zaraki, and Kurotsuchi.

CHAPTER 1

**Unwanted Promotion  


* * *

**

A Hollow howled painfully as it faded into the air after the silent but strong swipe of a gleaming zanpakuto slicing cleanly through its bull-shaped head. The shinigami simply flicked the droplets blood off to the side with a lazy swipe and sheathed it. A thin strand of a sapphire colored ribbon with charms clattered against the sheath as the wind licked at the hilt of the owner's katana.

"Ruka!"

A chocolate haired shinigami turned with a lazy sapphire stare as two males bumbled in behind her, already too late to take on the enemy. She ran her fingers through her multilayered bob of brown hair and growled out in reprimand, "When I say there's danger and to be here in ten, I mean it! It's not an excuse to let you take a piss a minute later."

A fair-haired male with a German accent groaned at her tone and said, "You had it handled anyway. You've been taking out most of them this week."

Her dark eyes narrowed and she motioned with her hand to the town below them, snapping at the pair, "If this was a city district, you'd be dead and the citizens would be Hollow chow!"

The short woman of a five foot height simply snorted and heard a cell phone beep from inside her uniform. Her eyebrow twitched in irritation as she scowled at the men for no reason except for their menial existence and answered the thing before the peppy ring tone drove her insane. She barked out sourly, "What?!"

A male voice replied with a more forceful and deeper tone, "Is this any way to treat your lieutenant, 3rd seat?!"

She deadpanned for a second, taken back by the voice, and hesitated before asking in a lighter tone, "I. . .Iba?"

"Yes, what other Tetsuzaemon Iba from 7th squad do you know of?" he snapped back angrily and she took away the phone from her ear a few inches in order to keep her hearing. This wasn't a good day apparently and she waved at the men in dismissal. The pair was more than happy to leave the irate woman to deal with her own business.

"Who knows? It's a big place" she teased with a chuckle and then furrowed her brows as she watched the skyline for any more activity. Despite it being a small town, the activity had been high this week and she'd gotten tired of flash stepping from one place to another while her colleagues slacked off. She tapped her other free fingers on the hilt of her zanpakuto as it hung on her left side and pointed out to her superior smartly, "Besides, I'm stationed in Bavaria. Don't tell me you forgot that you sent me here a month ago to work with the German Seireitei?"

Iba faltered on the connection and she could swear papers were being shuffled in the background until he came back on the line to refute defensively, "Of course I did! Captain Komamura gives out your orders personally since you're _barely_ here at all!"

"I like to travel" she grinned smugly and swung on the balls of her feet to occupy her time as she decided to pose her own questions on the abrupt disruption. With a firm voice of business, she asked, "What is this call for, lieutenant? I don't enjoy being late on my duties here so what did the captain specify?""Captain Komamura has ordered for you to return to the Seireitei no later than the end of this week" her lieutenant answered sharply and she heard more papers shuffling in the back. She ran a hand down her face and made a mental note to help him clean his desk once she returned. Iba stated crisply, "And don't try to talk your way out of this one, you haven't been here since the war against Aizen."

"So? I was there, wasn't I? That counts in the record book" she pouted with a sarcastic voice and heard him growl. Though he was her superior, the two got along despite their fights since Komamura wanted all of his squadron members on the same page.

"That was almost ten years ago and before that, you left for almost two decades!" he shot back tersely and she winced from the harsh bite of his voice. Well, he _was_ right but she just didn't like the idle life of their Seireitei. Besides, she was more of a person to gather intel with the other international shinigami to take back and share with her own division.

"The captain knows I like to roam free and I _always_ complete his missions" she stated simply and shrugged to herself. With an airy voice, she smirked, "I do everything he says so don't pop a vein. I'll be there, Iba. . .oh, and I got you the cutest sunglasses. They have a kitty on the rims just like your tattoo-"

"RUKA!"

* * *

Ruka bowed to her captain respectfully as she entered his office and his furry brown hand motioned for her to sit in the chair before his work desk. The chair gave the sitter the captain's full attention in the room and she hated that, she wasn't one for private or public attention. She gave him a big cheesy smile as she sat nervously and combed her fingers through her short strands, hoping to make them poof out and not stay flat. Once she had passed through the senkaimon, she'd traveled non-stop until she landed in the seventh division. She had to look presentable somehow but gave up once her ends lied flat against her flushed cheeks.

_Damn thinning hair_, she thought irritably.

"I came as quickly as I could, sir" she spoke calmly despite her dry mouth and twiddled her thumbs to keep her nerves in check. Every time she was summoned, she hoped she was doing well in her work and not slacking off. She wasn't a slacker, not by a long shot, and was always happy to make her captain proud. After all, he was her father figure after spending more than half a century within his squad and would destroy any who would badmouth the seventh division, even her own subordinates.

Her sapphire eyes blinked rapidly as she stammered, "I'll have my report from Germany tomorrow-no, in two hours! I'll even throw in a chart or two!"

Komamura chuckled deeply and let a smile grace his face as he locked his fingers together on top of his paperwork. Her nervousness radiated over the office and he soothed, "It's perfectly fine, Ruka. You're not in any trouble so relax and enjoy your return home. We've had a few changes these last few years, you really should stick around here more often."

Ruka let out an embarrassed chuckle but glared at the floor sourly the next second, "But Sajin, it's so boring here. You should see the other Seireitei's and I visited this division that was marvelously in sync with every member, almost as good as us- and the technology!" She let out a blissful sigh that made him laugh as she declared, "I could lock myself in there for days!"

The captain stared at the woman's face with amusement as she prattled on about everything she'd seen and how she'd show him every piece of it. The 3rd seat was a great-niece to the eight division captain and had been left in his care since childhood. Captain Kyoraku, being more of a bachelor than caretaker, placed her in the seventh squad to raise her well as he checked in on her continually. Sajin then became her paternal figure as she grew and she'd wanted to take on his last name but Kyoraku had already changed her family name to his to continue the line. Unlike her flamboyant uncle, she rarely slacked off or drank heavily but Ruka loved the pink kimono wearing man anyway.

Her ramblings halted to a stop when he uttered, "Ruka, I've nominated you for one of the lieutenant openings and the other captains have agreed with me."

Her mouth gaped like a fish out of the water and instead of being thrilled like most, she demanded, "Why would you do that?! I don't want to be a lieutenant!"

He raised his hand to calm her and she lowered her head respectfully for speaking out of turn. She could be appalled at the idea but she would never challenge her superior and waited for him to speak. He sighed deeply as her arms crossed over her chest to await an answer and Sajin spoke calmly, ". . .Ruka, you're older than most lieutenants here. You should have a rank higher than this, now I know you enjoy your travels. . ." she grinned happily as he said this but groaned when he added, "But there comes a time when every parent must force their baby bird out of the nest and let them fly. It's your time to fly, Ruka."

"No, I want to stay in the nest" she refused his fatherly tone and scratched at her bare arms to occupy the stressing moment. She had ripped off the sleeves of her uniform three decades ago as she traveled the deserts and had liked the change in style. Some probably called her a style catastrophe but whatever. She heaved a long sigh and tried to put her point across without sounding ungrateful. Gently, she told him, "I'm honored that you considered me for this but this division is my home and has been the longest division I've ever stuck with. I can't leave to go help run another squad of unknown people who aren't used to me. I refuse, if I ever become a lieutenant, it'll be after Iba dies in battle or from liver damage. This is the squad I want to always remain in."

The canine captain sighed again and asked her kindly, "Would you at least think about it? For me?"

She was about to say 'no' instantly but the soft and gentle face on her superior made her insides melt. The golden puppy eyes look could never be deflected by her and she hung her head, her arms slacking and dropping to her sides. She licked her dry lips, already disliking the windy weather, and looked up at him with a fond smile, "Only because you asked me, Sajin. If it was anyone else, I'd already be making my runaway break for the world of the living."

He regained his calm outlook and clapped his hands pleasantly, "Perfect. Now, I have a free hour before inspecting the squads and we can talk all about your trip as I catch you up on the news here."

* * *

Captain Kyoraku ran back and forth in his home as Nanao and Jushiro darted their eyes to follow his hasty movements as they stood side by side. He swung his sake bottle into the air and called out to the pair, "Are the steamed buns ready?!"

"Captain-"

"Are they ready?!"

Nanao pushed her round glasses up her nose and pointed to an oval plate holding six steaming buns in a perfect line. Her face was devoid of laughter and dryly, she stated, "They're right here. . .only six inches to your left, sir."

. . . "Oh"

Captain Ukitake shook his head at his friend's distress and eased him with one of his serene smiles, "Relax, I'm sure Ruka's fine. She's probably being debriefed."

"She's never late to see me" he insisted with a defensive and worried voice as his face took on a horrified expression. Nanao sighed exasperatedly and fought the action to whack him with her thick book as he cried out frantically, "What if a Hollow kept her? What if her hell butterfly died and she's trapped in between dimensions? What if an Espada revived itself and attacked? Oh, she could be Hollow food right now! Nanao-"

Footsteps rang through the floorboards as Ruka poked her head into her uncle's home with a wide grin, "I'm back!"

Shunsui made a double-take and turned around to see his young ward skip inside. He beamed with happiness as she came running up to him, arms open with a hug of reuniting bliss, and he leaned in only to be pushed aside for Nanao. His body almost collided into Jushiro who moved aside instantly and the brunette man stared dumbfounded at the pair as his straw hat slid off his head to his back.

His body gave a twitch of outrage as he watched Ruka grab Nanao into a tight hug. His shoulders slumped and he blinked in astonishment and shock, his mouth wide open to murmur, "What. . .what just happened?"

Ruka laughed happily as she hugged her best friend, both entangling themselves into a babbler of updates as Jushiro patted his friend's shoulder sympathetically. When it came to childhood friends, no one could beat Ruka's Nanao.

Shunsui placed his hand over his forehead dramatically to exhale, "Forgotten by my own flesh and blood! I'll remember the days when she crawled and accidentally drank my sake-"

Nanao rapped him on the head with one of her hidden fans and he winced in pain as a red blotch appeared on his forehead. Ruka stared at her uncle and asked in concern, "Has he been like this lately?"

"He's on his third bottle today" she informed calmly and smiled happily at her. "What brings you back here this time?"

The smaller woman popped out a white bag from behind to give to her and chuckled in a similar fashion to her uncle, "Well, little Nanao's birthday's coming up and I couldn't miss it for all the gadgets in the world!"

Nanao knew better and raised an amused eyebrow to ask bluntly, "Captain Komamura brought you back, didn't he?"

She hung her head in defeat and nodded with a pout, "Yes, ma'am." Instantly, she perked up and grabbed her uncle into a hug before he started reminiscing loudly and punched his chest lightly with a laugh, "I can't forget my favorite uncle but it's not my fault my best friend's your second."

He nodded kindly and joked with a goofy smile, "Yes, my sweet little Nanao-"

"Say, who wants to eat?" Nanao broke in sharply and jutted one of the food trays at his chest so he could begin lunch. Shunsui gave Ruka a bone crushing hug before letting her go and she stumbled over to hang onto Captain Ukitake for support. Despite he wasn't a blood relative, he always made her happy since childhood and she sought his advice on numerous subjects.

He patted her head softly as she wheezed out, "Why does he crush me every time I return, Uncle Jushiro? You'd think he'd want me to live a full life."

"Everyone does" he chuckled and his brown eyes twinkled as he smiled down at her, "Are you happy to be back?"

She thought about it, flicking her head to the side as she hung onto his arm, and smiled, "I think so, I'm with my family, can't beat that. However, Sajin recommended me for a promotion and I don't want it." Her eyes took on a sneaky glint as she asked him slyly, "Did you two vote on this?"

Jushiro feigned a face full of innocence and declared with a sickly tone, "Oh, but I rarely attend the captain meetings. What would I know of it?"

She noticed his hands tighten his captain's jacket from the chest and she shook her finger in front of his face to point out, "You grab your jacket when you lie, uncle. Why'd you agree to it? That's the last thing I want."

Her uncle joined their talk from the table as he bit into a bun and lectured her, "You should be at a better rank, Ruka, look at little Nanao-ow! Why must you hurt me, sweet one?"

He shook his scalded fingers from the hot tea she'd been pouring and continued, "You should be practicing to fully master a bankai by now. I mean, you're Kuchiki's age and he's been captain for fifty years!"

"I'm not Kuchiki and I'm happy with my rank" she said uninterested and shrugged lightly, sitting down neatly on the wooden floor to grab a decorated pink tea cup. She sipped the warm green tea and smiled contently, "Oh, I missed you. All I've had to drink is coffee- it's quite delicious too- but. . .nothing says home like tea and oh! Steamed buns!"

Her uncle grinned and joined her eating frenzy while Nanao lost the distinguishing between both brunettes as they chowed down. Proudly, he said with smile, "I made them just for you."

Nanao pursed her lips and smacked his hand with her fan again making him wince. He rubbed his hand as she stated sharply, "_I_ made them while you whined the whole time behind my back. That's not considered helping, captain."

"I helped mix in ingredients" he added in weakly and she rolled her eyes in silence, returning to her meal.

Ruka bit into her bun quietly and genuinely asked them, "Do you think I could handle a lieutenant's rank? I don't even know the captain, much less his squad."

"Shuhei Hisagi" Shunsui answered and she gave him a glare as if he'd answered the question perfectly with only two words. He patted her head and her sulk deepened as he went on, "He's taking over ninth division so you'll be close to your dear uncle and Sajin won't be far. It's not like you're going far off to the thirteenth again."

Jushiro was about to defend his own division but Ruka beat him to it, "Thirteenth is nice, it was a cushiony job after leaving twelfth-"

"And good thing you left before you ended up as a half-bird creature or worse" her uncle said protectively and she sighed, wondering when he'd see her as an adult. Eerily, he told her, "Crazy things go on in there. Half the people that go in never come back out."

She was actually fond of all her previous squads and sipped her tea as she defended again calmly, "I'd call it eccentric to the non-fanatics of science."

Shunsui gave her a lazy stare before lecturing, "Either way, you need stability in your life and you can strengthen your skills here instead of gallivanting elsewhere. If it were any other person, I'd tell them to enjoy the party of life but you're not." Proudly, he gave her a one-armed hug from his seat and told her, "You'd be following in your dear uncle's footsteps in becoming lieutenant."

Ruka stared blankly at him and flatly cheered, "Great."

* * *

After the day with her family, Ruka was tired and still had to greet other friends tomorrow. She lay on the grass outside the building she shared with the other twenty seated officers in squad seven and blankly stared at the darkened sky. She was stuck there now, like a fly in a spider's web ready to die. . .except in this case, the spider was handing her a promotion certificate. Her lips uttered a long sigh as she rejected the foolish idea and the wanderlust tickled her brain. It wasn't her fault, her uncle had let her roam free during her early years calling it 'toddler independence'. Heck, she'd been through three divisions before sticking to seventh. She enjoyed keeping up with both Seireitei and the living world's advances in science. Plus, she got to travel and visit the world of the living for more experience.

_Now I'll be traveling between barracks of a new squad_, she thought sarcastically. _That's a great adventure just waiting to happen!_

She heard a soft yip and turned her head to spot her captain's dog, Goro, jumping ecstatically over the blades of grass. Turning onto her stomach, she called out to him and cuddled the mutt happily as he licked her face with his wet pink tongue. She ran her fingers through his shiny brown coat as his paws danced over the ground to run off and call his master. Her blue eyes watched the dog reappear over the small mound and grabbed the happy canine into her arms to coo at him.

The captain's voice spoke above her gently, "It seems Goro's not the only one who's missed you."

Ruka let the dog go to let him roam free on the field and sat up to bring up her knees to her chin. She wrapped her arms around them and softly said to him, "If you think this is right for me. . .then I will take the position. But I can't promise I will behave as friendly as I have here with them."

"Divisions always change and people change as well" he pointed out wisely and she fought the urge to cry. He sat down next to her, knowing the woman would cling to him rather than leave the division voluntarily. She had grown up as one of his charges and it stung to know she would be off in a separate sector but it was a part of life all must eventually take. Her arms wrapped around one of his own as he told her, "The Soul Society is stabilizing and with you in the picture, only one position will remain open meaning we are uniting again. Captain-Commander Yamamoto has also set new rules to bond our divisions further instead of leaving them lax of communication before the incident with Aizen."

_Stupid pointdexter_, she thought frigidly.

She nodded in agreement to his words and shook her head to snort, "Trust me, whoever becomes captain of that squad will be under a strict thumb-a thumb that can torch you into itty bitty dust. I love that about the Captain-Commander." She paused for a moment before asking gingerly, "You think I'll fit in with Captain Hisagi's squad? They don't know how weird I can get and I can slip out of it here. Remember that time I exploded green goo over the new squadron barracks? You let it go but Hisagi could execute me if I do it."

He squeezed her shoulder and assured with a hearty chuckle, "You'll do fine."

"But you won't be there like always" she said sadly and glanced at the sky, hating that tomorrow would bring on a horrible day.

_(Flashback)_

_Ruka stumbled into the battlefield nervously, unknown to what frenzied combat would be like. She'd never had an assignment with her captain to the world of the living and had been used to working in inside environments. Her uncle decided to let her settle in his squad once she had graduated but she'd left to not make others think she had gotten her position due to her family connections. The twelfth division had been fun as she fiddled to create things but once Kurotsuchi took over, he changed and so did the division. Plus, there had been other topics there she wasn't about to discuss publicly. With the thirteenth, she didn't do much but had always helped the captain on his sick days. In this new division, she couldn't do either and had been put into battle instead._

_What do I do?, she thought nervously as she unsheathed her zanpakuto. I have to analyze the enemy and attack the weak spots to-_

_A roar sounded off to her right and her eyes widened to the humongous Hollow standing before her. How was she supposed to find a weakness in that? It was the size of a building! She'd only fought creatures a third of that size! Her mouth dried up as her small hands rattled on her zanpakuto hilt which made her synchronization with it fade in and out. Sucking down her terrible fear, she called out a kido spell and saw that it only served to grab the Hollow's attention and she called out for backup._

"_Hado 31: Shakkaho!"_

_Her attacks were feeble against it and she dodged when its large clawed hand shot down to grab her. She scrambled against one of the building walls, using her shunpo techniques, and watched it slam the ground angrily. It let out a shriek and just as its black eyes connected with her own, she saw a large sword held in a hovering hand cut through the Hollow's neck with ease. The next second, the body fell onto the ground to fade away and she spotted her captain quickly by his large helmet. She stood up shakily and ran up to her captain in gratitude while he sheathed his zanpakuto._

"_Was this your first battle?" he asked her and she nodded nervously, gulping as her body tensed to his immense spirit pressure._

_She stammered slightly before clearing her voice, "I haven't been in the world of living before and I'm not a good swordsman. It took me a while to release my zanpakuto during the Academy; he's grouchy sometimes."_

"_It was a rather large Hollow for one your size, you're still inexperienced" he pointed out and patted her head to assure her she'd be fine under his watch. Sympathizing with the scared shinigami, he spoke, "I'll have one of the seated members begin strengthening your swordsmanship."_

_She smiled appreciatively and stared in awe as her masked captain walked away to rejoin the rest of their group. She sheathed her zanpakuto and ran after him to not be left behind._

_(End flashback)_

"How did I even graduate? I couldn't fight right!" Ruka chastised herself as she laughed and scratched Goro's ears. She could only hope that the standards for graduation at the Academy had risen since then. Proudly, she raised her chin and stated, "I can now say that I bring no shame to your squad with my swordsmanship."

"That's why it's time for you to move up again" her captain pointed out and she bit her lip worriedly. She wasn't as sure of herself as he was and poked the earth beneath with her fingers to dodge it. Firmly, he told her, "I will need your answer by tomorrow."

Her eyelids lowered to shade her eyes and somberly, she asked, "Tomorrow? But that means I'll be leaving sooner than I thought."

"The divisions need stability, Ruka" Sajin advised calmly and stroked his pet's furry head as he jumped onto his legs to yip. "Captain Abarai eased Lieutenant Kira's responsibilities years ago and you will lessen Captain Hisagi's."

She nodded quietly despite her inner thoughts and whispered, "Then for the Seireitei's ongoing protection, I will take the position. There is no need to wait for tomorrow."

* * *

Shinigami Extras:

Ruka popped inside Iba's office as he worked on his paperwork to place a sunglass case in front of him and popped it open. With a Cheshire grin, she spoke cheerfully, "Look, aren't they the cutest thing? They'll match your tattoo!"

Iba glared at the black sunglasses that held a tiny smiling white cat on each of the rims. His eyebrow twitched in repulsion to the monstrosity and Ruka then proceeded to pop out another pair to go along with the first.

"And if you lose it, here's a backup pair!"

"RUKA!"

* * *

All right, there's a first chapter and this is my first Bleach fic so I hope it came out all right. I tried to make Ruka as non-Mary Sue as possible: a regular shinigami, can be kooky, normal abilities as others in her position, and hangs out with the less popular crowds you see in the manga/anime. If at all, the ninth division will hate her and she'll do the same. Then you have your character development but that's for later. Plus, I just love Captain Kyoraku and his pals and had to add them in. I know her name is spelled similar to Rukia's but that's the only name I actually liked after sorting through 500 Japanese names. I have other OC's for the ninth division to think of since the only canon one I know of is Hisagi.


	2. Frappucchino's & Sake

CHAPTER 2

**Frappucchino's and Sake  


* * *

**

Ruka sheathed her zanpakuto as she finished her latest training session with Lieutenant Iba, one of her favorite things to do once she returned home to compare her skills. She wiped her sweaty forehead with her gloved hand and shook it to dry the beads of perspiration as her silver rings glinted in the morning sunlight. With a pant, she walked over to grab one of the brown jugs sitting on the grass and filled a cup of the contents before swallowing. . .and spitting it out over the ground with a gag.

"What the hell, Iba?! Where's the water?!"

Iba turned from his defensive position on the field and yelled back sarcastically, "It's the one labeled 'water' next to you!"

She turned angrily, muttering curses at him, and spotted another jug behind it that had the tag while the one she'd grabbed was 'sake'. Quickly gushing down the taste of the wine with refreshing water, she yelled back at him, "Smart people place the tags facing them, Iba!"

"Well then, go on back to the twelfth division, egghead!" he shot back bluntly and shook his released zanpakuto at her to shut her up.

Ikkaku, who had come to train with the ex-eleventh member, stared lazily at them as he sat cross-legged on the grass. Eventually, he had to intervene before the argument lasted longer than it needed to. . .plus, he wanted a swig of sake himself and didn't want to get punched by the fuming woman standing next to it. She was a friend of Yachiru's and a friend of Yachiru's usually had warning labels attached.

He narrowed his eyes and shouted at them with a raised fist, "Hey, are we gonna fight or are you gonna bitch a tantrum, Iba? And Ruka, you took a drink so you're buying next time."She gaped in insult and threatened to throw the sake bottle at his bald head but remembered she had an ally who would be more than happy to punish Ikkaku. With a sweet smile, she set it down on the grass and called out, "Sure, Ikkaku, I'd be more than happy to buy sake when you know very well I don't drink!"

"Maybe you should, you'd be less cranky" Iba joked and she hurled a rock at him from the ground in retaliation. He dodged it easily and pointed a warning finger at her, "Hey, I'm still your lieutenant until midnight!"

She waved him away carelessly with her hand, tired of the meaningless arguing, and lay down on the grass to ask him, "So, was I better this time?"

Iba hesitated, deciding what path to take with the tired third seat, and said uncertainly, "Yes, let's leave it at that. Otherwise, you'll ask for a full report on every aspect and I'm not having it."

She blew a raspberry and grinned slyly, "Party pooper."

"It's time to get serious if you're going to be a lieutenant" he continued in his 'lecture the subordinate' voice and she picked a blade of grass to chew on. With Iba, there was always a lecture on hand for her. He stated firmly, "You have to be respectful-"

"I'm respectful! If I'm not, it's because I find you to be a total douche!" she interrupted with a scowl and he scoffed, in which her face immediately brightened, "On the first meeting but friends are a totally different issue, like you. . .and the drunken Ikkaku behind you."

Iba turned to find his friend already downing the entire bottle and he ran up to him to yank the object from his grasp. Despite his shaded eyes, Ruka could see the vein popping from his forehead as he yelled, "That was to be shared, Madarame!"

Ikkaku simply stood up and dusted off his uniform before smirking, "That's what happens when you turn your back on the enemy."

Ruka turned onto her stomach and nodded in agreement to rile him further, "He's right, you know."

Iba turned to reprimand her again and Ikkaku decided this was the best time for offense, striking his half-turned sparring partner on the back with Hozukimaru as Ruka grinned mischievously.

* * *

"Hold me, Nanao."

Nanao rolled her eyes in annoyance and allowed Ruka to cling onto her arm as they entered the headquarters for the Shinigami Women's Association, cozily located underground the Kuchiki mansion. The room had its wooden podium for the President who was already eating sweets on top of it, tearing the candy wrappers apart with her sharp canine teeth as her legs swung over the podium's edge.

Ruka shivered at the new scenery and pouted to point out, "I'm no good at social situations, I stammer and blab out the weirdest things!"

"Everyone who was here decades ago is still here" her friend assured sharply and kept walking into the room despite the ninety pounds of reluctance that tugged at her uniform's sleeve.

"You're a strong woman, Nanao, I curse you for it" she muttered darkly and found herself at the center of the whole group as wooden chairs lined up in rows behind her. She'd brought her to the front! Her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as the women in the room stared at her. . .and she released a huge breath of relief.

Ruka smiled happily and cheered, "Oh, it's still the same. . .mostly."

Nanao simply shook her head at her friend's sudden change and shook her own arm to bring back her blood circulation. A pink blob suddenly threw itself at Ruka and she hit the floor on her back, her breath leaving her lungs as she stared dazedly at a grinning Yachiru. The little girl wrapped her small arms around her throat and began her happy suffocation hug as she laughed merrily, "Ruki, you're back! Baldy told me but I didn't believe 'im so I painted his head black. Guess I shouldn't have done that."

Nanao stared worriedly as Ruka's face took on the color of her eyes and pried Yachiru off gently as the child struggled against her for release. Ruka breathed in a lungful of air before standing up and squeezing the cheerful girl on her own. She'd met the child years ago when Yachiru first entered the Seireitei and had loved her cute but destructive personality from the minute she laid her eyes on her.

Yachiru climbed onto her shoulder, gripping onto her uniform for support, and grinned toothily to ask, "Whatcha bring me, Ruki?"

"I know for a fact Captain Zaraki doesn't allow you candy after five but. . ." the woman grinned sneakily and pulled out a bag from her uniform filled with candy and chocolate. She held it in front of the girl in temptation and smiled, "Some of it's from the world of the living. I thought you might enjoy that but make sure the others don't find it."

Yachiru nodded happily, hastily opening the bag in her small hands, and let out a sneaky giggle, "Shinigami's honor!"

The pink haired girl then proceeded to go sit on the wooden floor and start devouring her new stash. Her legs kicked out in enjoyment as her cheeks flushed pink. Nanao leaned in from behind to whisper in her best friend's ear warningly, "She's going to make chaos with that in her system."

Ruka shrugged lazily and grinned, "She's a kid, I'll let her live a little. Once you start aging, candy never tastes the same again and you crave something else."

Rangiku Matsumoto pushed herself into the group and leaned over Ruka's other shoulder to purr, "That's right. Hard liquor, cosmetics, men in thongs-"

"Lieutenant!" Nanao broke in with a blush on her pale cheeks as Rangiku placed an innocent look on her face and shrugged carelessly. Ruka simply rolled her eyes at Nanao's sense of propriety with friends in public.

"What? It happens. . .unless you're a lesbian and dig the chicks in bikini's but it's all in the same category!" the busty beauty commented and Nanao shook her head. She grinned at Ruka slyly with a wink and asked eagerly, "So what do I get? Don't tell me you forgot little ol' precious Rangiku, locked away in the tenth squad, laboring over paperwork. . ."

"From what I hear, you spent the whole division's budget on a shopping spree" Ruka smiled jokingly and the blonde waved her hand, almost smacking Kiyone in the face as she passed by. If there was another carefree spirit she missed here, it was the boisterous Rangiku.

"That was, like, a month's budget! Hardly worth anything and it's not like we needed new mattresses for the new squad barracks" she scoffed lazily causing Nanao to hang her head in shame at her actions. The blond winked at the brunette and grinned mischievously, "So, any nookie on the side during your stay in Germany? I hear anything goes over there. I wish my captain would let me travel but he's so grouchy."

"If anyone can achieve it, Rangiku, it's you" Ruka laughed jovially and dodged the man candy question, skipping to another subject. She poked her friend's nose and told her, "You'll find your present in your room, wrapped in a nice little pink package."

She squealed ecstatically and hugged her from behind, "You remembered I like pink gift wrap!"

Her fingers went over Ruka's hair curiously and pulled at her short brown locks to grimace, "Oh, you cut your wavy tresses off! Why'd you do something stupid and ruin perfectly good hair? You're on the road to looking like Ikkaku."

Isane objected from her seat at the front and pointed to her own silver locks, "I have short hair too, you know!"

"But you're busty so it's hot" Rangiku justified instantly, making Isane cover up even more if possible, and turned back to Ruka to grab her chest in which the smaller woman shrieked out in alarm. Her eyes were wide as the other woman made her own evaluation, "Hmm, we have a good set here but we may need to open the uniform to show off more female charm. You just don't do it with the bare arms, we need to get you less conservative with that outfit. I had a class about that, it almost gave Nanao a heart attack but it did the trick."

Ruka twitched nervously and smacked her friend's hands lightly, "Could I just have my girls back, Rangiku?"

"Well, they need action from somebody!" the blond pointed out and released the embarrassed brunette. Ruka scampered over to Nanao and clung to her again in which the taller woman sighed. Rangiku motioned to the room and told her, "Well, you remember most people here. Yachiru, Nanao, Soi, Is-"

"It's Soi Fon, not Soi" the short haired captain snapped and Rangiku rolled her eyes.

Ruka patted her uniform and yanked out a yellow folder from inside making Nanao wonder where she even hid it. She gave it the captain and explained, "Urahara wanted to boost the popularity of his store, apparently shinigami money isn't profit enough, so he used Yoruichi as his model for the advertisement. Human technology allows you to do amazing things now- I'm blabbering. . .here are the pictures from the photo shoot. I hope that covers the, um, 'accident' forty years ago."

Soi Fon nodded, let out an uncharacteristic squeal, and sped off to the back of the room to rip open the folder with glee. Ruka shook her head, deciding not to ask about it, and pointed to a brunette and dark-haired woman. With a friendly smile, she greeted, "I haven't met you two before. I'm Ruka Kyoraku, third seat of the seventh squad. . .and unfortunately, soon-to-be lieutenant of the ninth squad."

Rangiku yanked her into her arms, smothering the smaller woman into her cleavage and Ruka flailed her arms for freedom. Happily, she chirped, "Oh, we're going to be neighbors! I can go there whenever Toshiro gets angry now! I could hide my sake stash in your office for safekeeping as we chat away."

Ruka muffled out a few incoherent words and Nanao stepped in to pull her out into safety. The brunette tipped slightly before stammering out to the two unknown women, "How-how do you do?"

"She's normally not like this" Nanao told them as she patted her friend's cheek to regain their pink color back in them. Her friend had already been nervous enough and she was sure this wasn't making it better. She glared at the blond woman and snapped, "Your breasts are weapons of mass destruction."

Rangiku let out a giggle and smiled proudly, "Why thank you."

Nanao shook her head in disapproval while Momo walked up to the dazed newcomer.

"I'm Momo Hinamori, lieutenant of the fifth squad" the young woman greeted Ruka with a short bow as the other shook her head to finally snap her attention back into place. Momo stared at the woman who's outfit ironically resembled Hisagi's as silver rings adorned most of her fingers while a thin navy scarf was tied over her hair as a headband.

Ruka saw her curious stare and shrugged with a smile, "I'm not one for fashion styles like Rangiku here. Actually, she hates my style." Rangiku rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless. She pulled at her headband and grinned widely, "I put this little fella wherever I feel like: hair, wrist, waist, it's all the same. So who's your other pal, Momo?"

"Nemu Kurotsuchi" the dark-haired woman replied with a courteous bow and Ruka's mouth fell open.

"Mayuri got married?!" she blurted out in shock and Rangiku burst into a loud fit of laughter, clutching Ruka's shoulder to steady herself. She covered her mouth, embarrassed for the sudden outburst to the group. Modestly, she told them, "I'm serious. Have I been gone that long?"

"I'm his daughter and lieutenant" Nemu calmly replied to her question, slightly surprised she didn't know the old news on her captain.

Ruka let out an impressed whistle and smiled, "Wow, your mother must be a looker because you sure don't look like him."Rangiku gasped for air as she went into hysterics, ". . .He. . .Nemu was built. She's not. . .He. . .He wasn't that lucky."

The blond walked a few feet away to laugh it off as Ruka worked on the broken sentences. So the scientist had made his own child. . .well, if you can't make it, build it. She smiled at Nemu and asked, "How is your father? I haven't seen him since. . ."

_(114 years ago)_

"_I'm Ruka Kyoraku, new recruit for the Research and Development Institute" a happy voice piped up behind an impassive Kurotsuchi. Her blue eyes read a line on her new paperwork and she asked him, "Are you Mayuri Kurotsuchi? I've been assigned to your team."_

"_Good for you but I do not care about the new additions" he told her dryly and he turned to see the younger Ruka smile at him. It was creepy, no one could smile without faltering at a stranger. Happy people made him unhappy. His top lip curled and he sneered, "You'll be sorted into the useful or useless bunch." She scratched her head as she stared at him and he hastily added, "Go away."_

"_What's with the makeup? Will I have to wear it because my skin. . ." she faded off as she watched him glare her down and she darted her eyes to the large beaker he held in his hand. She pointed to it and said, "You're going to scald yourself with that if you keep tipping it. You dummy bunny, you should be using the dropper to take the sample instead of the test tube. It keeps it more sterilized and the oil combined with that paint on your fingers could have chemical changes in the result."_

_Kurotsuchi simply stared until he finally asked, "What was your name again?"_

"_Ruka Kyoraku" she smiled and pulled out the drawn map of the first floor lab, looking for the items she'd need for her first day. As she read, she pointed out, "Good scientists must have good memory banks. That's why I carry my personally made gingko biloba gum, it's chewy and it keeps you sharp. Oops, I've been blabbering, I have to go to orientation with Captain Urahara. Nice meeting you, Mayuri Kurotsuchi."_

_He stared at the young woman leave and shook his head, returning to his work. How dare she offer him advice when he was her superior? Obviously, she needed better manners. A fumbling noise caught his attention and he turned to see Ruka next to him. He stepped back and demanded, "What is it now, Kyoraku?"_

_She pulled out medical latex gloves from her uniform's pockets and placed them on the table as she sighed, "I have to make sure my lieutenant doesn't scald himself with the procedure that clearly states for a dropper sample on the observation slide and not one from a test tube. That's all."_

_Once she approved of the lab table, she walked off in a hurry to meet her captain._

"_She's a strange creature" Kurotsuchi mumbled to himself and grabbed the gloves.  
(End)_

"Good times" she chuckled amusingly and Nanao glared at her in warning. She shrugged timidly and tugged on her headband to reply meekly, "Well, they were."

Rangiku returned after getting a drink of water to calm herself and wrapped an arm around Ruka's neck to ask, "What were we talking about again?"

"Start the meeting!" Nanao told Yachiru sharply. The child pouted as she swallowed three pieces of candy and reluctantly listened; purposely loudening her footsteps in protest.

* * *

"Are you sure Byakuya allowed you to build on his property?" Ruka asked Yachiru warily as the child clung onto her robes after their club meeting. The two had decided to hang around after it finished; Yachiru to get sweets and Ruka for a visit.

"He says no but deep inside, he loves us!" she said happily with a certified nod that made Ruka nervous. Hopefully, the Kuchiki head wouldn't attack them on sight for trespassing. Yachiru patted her head and said cleverly, "And besides, you're there to visit Byakushi so the suspicion is off. He'll never find the travelin' tunnels!"

Ruka smiled with her as the two wandered the Kuchiki grounds slowly to wait when the sixth division captain would pop up to threaten them. She spotted a dark blur headed towards them and seconds later, Rukia Kuchiki appeared. The older woman released a relieved sigh and greeted, "Rukia, you're home! And. . .why are horrified?"

The petite woman furrowed her small eyebrows and groaned, "I'm waiting for Ichigo and he has no way of speaking to Byakuya. You'd think he learned after so many years. So, I wanted to warn him before my brother releases Senbonzakura on his butt."

During her frequent visits to the thirteenth squad, Ruka had met the younger Kuchiki many times and the two became friends easily from their sarcastic and determined personalities. Also, the fact that both were fanatically in love with Chappy helped to seal the deal. They had both even tried to drive Byakuya insane with their familiar first names but the captain had then released his shikai on the two. Needless to say, they never tried it again.

"He's still not lightening on him?" Ruka asked sympathetically and the other shook her head. For years, the two men had not warmed up to each other's company despite the younger Kuchiki's tries. She wrapped her arm around Rukia's petite shoulders and comforted her, "There, there. It's probably all that macho testosterone and territoriality running through them. I'm sure once he realizes that baby sister Rukia is dating a ryoka-"

"He doesn't know" she burst in embarrassedly as she blushed lightly.

Ruka blinked and changed her tone to a hopeless one, "Oh, then he's dead."

"Ruka!" she objected loudly, wanting support, and Yachiru laughed at the sentence. Byakuya then popped up before them and Ruka shrieked, flinging her chocolate bar at him as she shielded Yachiru and Rukia.

Byakuya simply stared at the chocolate bar before his feet on the grass and Ruka justified her actions, "I thought you were going to kill me and I left my zanpakuto home. I wasn't about to throw Yachiru, she'd cling onto you and probably pull your underwear. And Rukia, well, I can't let you attack her either."

"Ruka, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with your uncle?" he asked calmly as Yachiru jumped off her back to pick up the chocolate bar from the ground and took a bite out of it. His eyebrow shot up at the sight and he added, "Or far away with your choice in friends?"

"Byakushi!" Yachiru yelled insulted and took another bite from the bar for emphasis.

"You're in the club and it's a century too late to back out, friend" Ruka pointed out and chuckled from one of her happiest memory with him.

_(121 years ago)_

_Yoruichi Shihoin popped up besides the two young Academy students and asked curiously with her usual grin, "What're you guys doing?"_

"_None of your business" Byakuya growled and she ruffled his tied hair. He swiped at her hand but she was too fast and he yelled, "Go away! I'm not playing tag."_

_Ruka smiled at the 2__nd__ division captain and explained, "We're playing ice blocking. His grandpa brought back a technique to keep ice and Byakuya wants to try something. He even made the big block himself!"_

_The young Kuchiki glared at her and snapped, "Why'd you tell her, Ruka?!"_

"_She asked, it's only polite to do so" the brunette responded and placed a large towel on top of the block of ice that was waist height. She was nervous about the whole thing but her friend was more of a risk-taker than she and he didn't take no for an answer. He got annoying when he began bragging that he would be the 28__th__ heir of the Kuchiki clan and that's where she droned him out and mostly agreed to his schemes._

_While Byakuya shot her his deadliest glare, Yoruichi pushed him onto the block without warning and he fell on it with surprise. The captain then kicked the block of ice and launched him down the grassy hill as he let out an angry yell as Ruka's eyes widened._

"_Shihhhooiinnn!"_

_Yoruichi patted her small shoulder and grinned, "He'll be fine. He needs to cool off that temper anyway." _

_Both watched and gasped in horror when Byakuya and his block of ice plowed into the current 6__th__ division captain, Ginrei Kuchiki- Byakuya's grandfather. Ruka and Yoruichi then ran off to avoid the crime as Byakuya cried out at seeing his grandfather knocked out cold before him. Looking back to the hill, he spotted his friend and tormentor gone._

_His blue-gray eyes narrowed and he yelled loudly, "Damn you, were-cat!"  
(End)_

"I told you _never_ to bring that up again" Byakuya stated tightly and she cackled, making Rukia laugh along. However, her brother silenced her with a glare but the childish adventure tale would stay in her mind.

_Who knew he could be stubborn?_, Rukia thought and wondered what else her brother had done in the past.

Ruka dug inside a brown knapsack she'd brought with her and he merely watched lazily. Pulling out a neatly wrapped black package, she gave him the object and smiled, "Enjoy. I'm sure you need a new calligraphy set with all the constant writing you do."

He stared at the gift and carried it under his arm as he motioned for them to move forward. In monotone, he said, "Thank you, it is appreciated."

"Oh! Be peppier, I got you the deluxe set" she groaned in protest and Yachiru began to pull on his sleeve to see the present. The captain slipped it inside his sleeve to ward her off as Ruka stated, "Deluxe!"

"It's strawberry head" Yachiru called out to them from Ruka's shoulder and pointed to another blur coming towards them. Ichigo appeared before Rukia with a small smile and Yachiru was about to sing 'Rukia and Ichigo sitting in a tree' but Ruka stuffed her mouth with the chocolate bar. The human shinigami now seemed to rival Byakuya in physical age while his age-old haircut still remained. Ruka smiled at the cute couple but made sure that Byakuya didn't notice the facial slip.

"Ready to go, Rukia?" Ichigo asked her and she nodded nervously, her rosy lips pressed tightly together. He nodded to the brunette and Yachiru in greeting, giving Byakuya's impassive glance a serious face to state, "Byakuya."

"Kurosaki" Byakuya spoke aloofly and both women could see he wasn't amused in the slightest with the newcomer and his misuse of his title.

"Rukia, run along now with your friend and come home safe" Ruka ran interference and the younger Kuchiki bowed to her brother before using her flash steps. The brunette could see Rukia was dragging away Ichigo at top speed. "Run far away!"

She could hear the slightest crunch from inside his sleeve and she blanched, "No! That's fine wood, Kuchiki! I just wasted my weekly paycheck on that! I should've gotten you a stress ball instead."

* * *

Yachiru held a silver can and shook it curiously, "So what's this called again, Ruki?"

"A Starbucks frappucchino, they're everywhere in the world of the living, it's amazing" Ruka answered, missing her nonstop travels, and opened her own easily. She'd become addicted to them while she'd worked on her projects overseas. She tucked her hair back behind her ear and said, "It took me forever on opening it, worse than those stupid juice boxes. I curse whoever invented those. By the way, Byakuya, I've noticed Rukia's happier than when she started here in the Seireitei. Have you finally decided to let her roam free?"

"She can do as she wants as long as its within the respectable limits of our family name" he answered simply and she sighed, knowing his legal and logical mind wasn't going to help hers. She was about science, not rules.

"So why didn't you let her become a lieutenant until four years ago?" she pointed out slyly as she sipped her drink with a small smirk. Her blue eyes twinkled as she teased him, "I would assume that a rank like that is very respectable unless a protective big brother wants to protect little baby Rukia-"

"You need to work on your conversational speech, Ruka" Byakuya stated in retaliation and she sipped her drink quietly, narrowing her eyes slowly at his next words. The corner of his mouth hitched slightly as he said, "Your time among the poor hasn't helped you."

"I haven't been with the poor and there's nothing wrong with that either! People talk like this all the time!" she retorted loudly and he raised his index finger quietly, reminding her to use an indoor voice. She gripped her hair and pointed out, "We're outside where birds chirp and koi's- what happened to your fish?"

He uttered a tiny sigh from his lips and stated, "They have been declining over many years despite the resilient breeds, custom food, or protection I give them. I haven't been able to solve it yet."

As the two pondered over it, Yachiru bounded over to the pond and sneakily placed her hand inside the water. The fish instantly retreated to the bottom of it, already knowing the hand of their exterminator. With a victorious grin, she returned to Ruka and asked curiously, "So how do I open this? Humans make the weirdest gizmos."

She shook the can and bit it on the corners to make the liquid come out but nothing. Her brown eyes narrowed as air puffed out through her nostrils in frustration. Ruka motioned with her hands how to raise the metal ring but the child struggled. Byakuya paid her no attention since he'd gotten Ruka to do the work for him and sipped the strange beverage quietly. Yachiru kept shaking the odd item and her tiny nail finally propped the metal ring up into air.

Her lips widened into an accomplished grin but it stopped halfway when the pressurized contents inside landed squarely in Byakuya's chest and lap. His gray-blue eyes widened slightly as he felt the warm liquid seep into his clothes and stain them.

"Byakushi! You ruined my drink!" she wailed at them and Ruka gave hers to the child instantly as she stared at the captain horrified. Yachiru scampered off happily and remained oblivious to the wet captain and nerve-wrecked third seat.

_Oh no, she's done the unthinkable!_, she thought frantically. _He's going to kill us and bury us in his backyard by sundown!_

Byakuya's face didn't move an inch to recognize the warm liquid soaking his clothes and skin. Ruka knew the 'no emotion at all' façade was a bad thing. Lightly, she chuckled uneasily, "You're really good at keeping your anger down. Now remember, she's a child and you can't murder cute adorable children that belong to the dangerous captain of squad eleven. Plus, you can change your uniform-"

"My uniform is in the laundry, this is a spare" he spoke tightly and she winced, nervous to touch the enraged man but wanting to help him at the same time."I'm never going to win a debate with you" she sighed weakly and gripped her hair in horror as she sorted through all the possible scenarios that allowed her and Yachiru to leave unharmed. She dabbed at his chest with her glove frantically and asked, "Uh. . .you want to trade uniforms? Use my uniform to dab at the stain? Anything?"

His eyes burned through hers and he stated sharply, "I'm almost a foot taller than you. Ruka, take the child and leave the premises at once."Yachiru skipped over to them and held out her drink, "This is good, Ruka! Silly Byakushi, when you're wet, you change your clothes."

Ruka watched his hand crush the silver can he held and she cried out, "Stop crushing everything I give you!"

* * *

Captain Komamura walked up to Ruka and Yachiru as the two chatted away on the grass, tearing the green blades and tightening them together to form grass people. The brunette gave her captain a welcoming smile as he sat down next to them, raising a brow at their little creations.

"Grass people, they'll attack your ankles before you can blink!" Yachiru explained with a scary voice and swung one of them at him for fun. Her brown widened excitedly as she exclaimed strongly, "Grass people!"

Sajin withheld a grimace to the child's wild imagination and said quietly, "Yes, Yachiru. We must protect ourselves."

"Silly Furry-Ears, they attack Hollows!" the child laughed and made fighting sounds with her held dolls as Ruka withheld a laugh. Sajin could only wonder how farfetched her imagination ran, then remembered her squad and shook his head to stare at his third seat.

"Ruka, you have been officially approved by the captains as of this morning" he told her with a proud smile and Yachiru let out a giggle as she gripped Ruka's arm.

"Good thing or else Byakushi might've gone against it" she said brightly and stuffed another piece of candy into her mouth from her open bag on the grass.

"What did you do to him?" Sajin asked firmly, worried that the two had caused morbid humiliation to the stoic captain. With Ruka and Yachiru, no one could ever know for sure.

"He's fine, sticky but alive" Ruka chuckled to ease him and motioned for him to go on as Yachiru pulled more grass blades to form the Hollow fighters.

The captain pulled out a badge from his pocket and handed it to Ruka, who took it into her smaller hands gingerly. Her fingers trailed over the lieutenant's badge as he said proudly, "With this badge, you are now lieutenant of the ninth squad, Ruka."

She stared at the brown badge for a moment and curled her upper lip, "I'm a buttercup? C'mon, Sajin, even our Iris can kick this flower's ass!"

_Maybe it's not a good thing that Shinigami's stay perfectly loyal to one squad_, he thought and sighed.

"Language, Ruka" he reprimanded lightly and she gave a reluctant nod. Sometimes, he had second thoughts of allowing her to spend time with the eleventh division due to their rough language. With a parenting tone, he said firmly, "This is your new squad, your new home, and you will treat it respectfully. You are going there to begin a new life and you will be representing us with the way you lead, speak, and act."

Her lips thinned, already knowing the idea of loving ninth would be revolting, and sighed tightly, "Fine, but I don't have to like it."

"The captain is a very good friend of mine, Ruka" he pointed out, hoping to banish her negative thoughts, and she nodded lightly. His words were always honest and in her best interest so she would listen to his say. He squeezed her shoulder and reassured, "You will be fine there. The seventh squad will always be your home and the ninth will be another."

_But I don't want a new home_, she thought sadly. _I want this one, always._

Ruka hesitated a few seconds before asking softly, "What if I don't adjust well to this rank? What if Captain Hisagi isn't impressed with my skills? Will I have the ability to return to my previous position here?"Sajin took a deep breath, pondering how to answer the question, but she beat him to the punch with a regretful sigh of her own, "I can't, can I?"

"No."

"I'm going to be eaten alive by them!" Ruka told him worriedly and Yachiru threw a grass doll into the air with a whoop. The brunette held her head in her hands, already nerve wrecked before meeting her new captain.

"I'm sure Captain Hisagi will not let you be eaten" Sajin chuckled amusingly and patted her back in comfort. He would miss her sarcasm that lightened his moods when he'd worked too much. With a playful tone, he informed, "Besides, that would be cannibalism and punishable by law."

"Aw, you know just what to say" she sniffled and wrapped her arm around his own happily. Her cheek pressed against his sleeve and she sighed softly as tears burned her eyes, "I'm going to miss you, Sajin, even Iba. Him and his big ol' flaming cat."

"So will we, Ruka" he replied quietly and squeezed her small hand. It was going to be hard for her when it came time to move and he hoped her friends in the Seireitei would help her along. Looking over to Yachiru, he told Ruka, "It'd be best to take her home before sundown or else Zaraki will beat his curfew rule into you and I'm not ready to make funeral preparations for a five hours in office lieutenant."

Yachiru pointed at him as she jumped into Ruka's lap to exclaim, "Furry-Ears joked!"

* * *

"The report was handed in to Lieutenant Sasakibe exactly as written and the meeting concluded that third squad would send a pair to inspect the town of Chikusen in the Asakura district for Hollow activity" Nemu reported into her captain as he mixed various blood samples together into vials, not interested in the update. He was too focused on his current project as she continued, "In the Women's Association, we discussed fundraising choices as the Men's Association drives to take half our budget. Choices were to publish interviews and photos of several captains, a women's or male's swimsuit calendar, or catering for a day. Captain Fon proposed to make ex-captain Yoruichi Shihoin our club idol but the motion did not pass. We added in a new member, Ruka Kyoraku, new lieutenant of squad nine-"

Captain Kurotsuchi almost dropped one of the vials in his hand and turned around to demand, "Ruka Kyoraku? She is here within the Seireitei already?"

Nemu nodded affirmatively and informed, "Yes, she arrived yesterday morning and will be on permanent stay within the Seireitei." Quietly, she added in, "She mentioned you when I introduced myself."

"I bet that unpleasant woman did" he muttered blandly and narrowed his golden eyes, "She's always been one of the good minds in science. Sadly, it is not up to par on my scale in caliber."

"She seemed to have enjoyed her time in your squad from her own words" she said softly and took a small rack of test tubes that had been prepared for examination to a small cooler on the opposite table set at room temperature.

"She is heavily delusional" he said sourly and waved her away in dismissal once she finished. He pulled out another rack to hold vials, his fingers grasping six clear vials, and he ordered, "You may leave for the night, Nemu. I will continue working on this project."

"Yes, sir" she obeyed simply and bowed, exiting the room and leaving her father at the laboratory table.

His blue nails tapped on the black table and he frowned, "Hmm, Ruka Kyoraku."

_(114 years ago)_

"_I'm not going to let you boss me around, alien face!" Lieutenant Sarugaki fumed and threatened to throw a beaker at Kurotsuchi as he worked at his table._

"_If you cannot follow the simplest of commands, you've already established that you have the mental capacity of a rat" he insulted blandly and Hiyori's eyes gave him a maddened gleam as she hurled the beaker over his head. The glass item landed behind him and crashed onto the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces as Ruka stumbled in with a stack of papers through an open doorway. The scientist didn't acknowledge her attack and simply stated, "Furthermore, I am your superior officer here and we all tire of your incessant ramblings."_

"_I second that" a young Akon called out from his separate station and the blond shot him a seething glare as she bared her teeth._

"_No one asked you, fuck face!" she yelled furiously and was about to let out another wave of insults but Ruka stepped in to take the laboratory equipment she held in her hands._

"_I'd be more than happy to take over your task, lieutenant" Ruka piped in calmly and gave her a friendly smile, "I know you don't like spending much time here and you have more important errands to run in our squad with Captain Urahara. We wouldn't like to keep you from them and I'm sure Kurotsuchi can manage here."_

_Hiyori hesitated, wanting to blast a string of curses at the young woman, but scoffed, "Yeah, you're right. There's no way you could make me stay here with this asshole!"_

_The fuming lieutenant left the building like hell on wheels and Akon released a huge sigh of relief, resting his back against the table. Ruka gave the young boy a smile as she placed the items on a lab table nearby. Kurotsuchi kept working on his experiment, bubbling the green liquid he'd been watching, and spoke, "Thank you, Kyoraku. You'll be my repellent for that pest from now on. How were the second stage results for experiment A-147?"_

_She ran her finger down her list and reported in, "Hypothesized results are positive but it needs another control subject with a different variable to proceed to the next stage successfully."_

_The scientist nodded quietly and his amber eyes met Ruka's sapphire, "Good work. Would you mind checking on experiment A-139?"_

_She bowed respectfully and smiled, "It'd be my pleasure, sir."_

_The researcher left and Kurotsuchi shut off the heat from the bubbling mixture, letting a small smirk form on his face, "Kyoraku is becoming a pleasing face."_

"_What about me?" Akon asked from behind, surprising Kurotsuchi from his work._

_He turned instantly towards him and barked, "You're still here? I told you to check on experiment B-437!"_

_The small boy scampered off before his superior ran him down with his sharp words.  
(End)_

"Captain!"

Kurotsuchi snapped out of his thoughts and turned to see Akon giving him a puzzled glance. The senior researcher noticed dimmer lighting in the room and asked, "Are we done for the night?"

"Nemu is, you, however, still have three reports to turn in" the captain said sharply and waved him away. He really hated when people disturbed his work and thinking process. "Don't come back unless you have them, Akon."

The researcher withheld a groan and sluggishly walked off to write up three reports that would probably take him the whole night and have him tired the next day. Remembering he had subordinates under his thumb, he grinned instantly.

_I'll make them do it_, he thought mischievously.

* * *

Shinigami Extras:

Zaraki stared awkwardly as he watched his small lieutenant play with grass dolls, flinging some at a sleeping Ikkaku as she sat on the wooden sidewalk. The third seat simply kept on snoozing as the dolls covered his body and his painted black head made the captain raise an eyebrow.

"What're you doin', Yachiru?" he asked gruffly, tilting his head to the side making his little bells chime a jingle.

"The grass people are attacking the dreadful Baldy monster as the people flee from the town" she said dramatically and pointed to tiny river rocks that remained motionless on the floor. He guessed they were supposed to be the people 'fleeing'. She pouted her bottom lip and shook one of the dolls in her hand, "But Baldy isn't really doing much. Maybe the grass people need a real Hollow to fight."

Zaraki gave his trademark smirk and asked her, "Wanna go find one?"

She jumped up instantly and perched herself on his shoulder within seconds to cheer, "Let's go, Kenny!"

XXXX

So you see Ruka can be as crazy as Yachiru sometimes but I think Rangiku takes the outrageous trophy in this chapter. We dig a little deeper into Ruka's past and see what connections she still has in the Seireitei. And you see I've paired Ichigo with Rukia, they're just cute together. And episode 229 was hilarious when Ichigo told Ikkaku Rukia slept with him, which I'm sure fans took the same way Ikkaku's face showed. And yeah, Rukia's the lieutenant of the thirteenth division and I'm sure she doesn't drive Ukitake insane like the third seats, who I still find comical.


	3. I Wish I Had An Aunt Retsu

CHAPTER 3

**I Wish I Had An Aunt Retsu**

**

* * *

**

Ruka glared at her new badge lying on the wooden floor as she sat drinking her morning tea. The withdrawal from her caffeine drinks in her western travels had made her jittery and she'd barely slept the night before. Also, the added pressure of rising up to be a respected lieutenant made it worse. Her energetic blue eyes were dull as dark circles settled underneath them from the lack of sleep while her brown hair lay limp over her face. She knew insomnia was going to be her friend for a couple of weeks.

_I have to meet Captain Hisagi later on, I could give him a heart attack if I look like this_, she thought gloomily. _The poor man won't even be captain for a week before I kill him accidentally and then his people will kill me!_

"A buttercup" she groaned softly and licked her lips when a gust of wind passed through the open door. She loved the wind on rainy days but she outright hated dry or humid air. Her line of vision shot down to her zanpakuto lying idly on the floor next to her and she smiled. Only wind would constantly remind her of her cranky partner. He would have to get used to being in the company of another captain now. Similar to Ruka, her zanpakuto was fiercely loyal along with having a temper against outsiders. Her blue eyes narrowed and she muttered, "If I was human, I'd stab myself to death."

She leaned against the doorway, resting her head back against the wood and sighed. The thought of leaving her beloved squad was heart wrenching, she'd done it before in twelfth but Sajin was practically her father. Sure, she'd still be two divisions away but it wouldn't feel the same. The gap would be there nonetheless. She was used to waking up in the morning to go eat breakfast at Sajin's house before picking up an assignment off his desk to lighten his load. She knew every route to travel in the seventh division and now, she would need to completely map out the ninth division. Challenges were always a good brain exerciser for her but. . .she just didn't want to do this particular one.

_(105 years ago)_

"_I brought a new recruit for you" Captain Kyoraku smiled in greeting to the seventh division captain as he entered the office in high spirits or maybe he was slightly drunk. No one ever knew for sure and he had been drinking a few hours ago. Ruka stared at the masked captain who towered over her like a tree and she gulped nervously, hiding behind her uncle to protect her short stature. His smile widened and he assured her with a pat on the head, "He won't hurt you, Ruka. Sorry, Sajin, she's like this with everyone. Social environments are her weakness despite her age but she has a temper so don't let her fool you."_

_The masked captain nodded quietly and kneeled down to meet the height of Ruka to ask kindly despite his deep voice, "So I hear you're transferring from thirteenth to my squad? Are you all right with that?"_

_Ruka eased slightly at his soothing tone and nodded slowly, "Yes, uncle Ukitake can get a tad overprotective-"_

"_Because he loves you" her uncle prodded in making her smile and pushed her forward gently so she'd be in the open._

"_I want to be in a squad where I can have roots in, expand, and flourish from a delicate flower to. . .uncle Shunsui, I'm not reading this" Ruka pointed out with embarrassment as she'd been reading from a card held inside her sleeve and she tore it in half. Her uncle groaned slightly at his failed plan and she spoke on her own behalf, "I want to prove I can make it here with the skills I already have and I'm not afraid to push myself to the max. I need a squad where I can grow to my full potential and your motto is 'courage' which I definitely want."_

"_Then welcome to the seventh division, Ruka Kyoraku" the captain acknowledged with a nod and she smiled widely.  
(End)_

Ruka sipped her tea and said in afterthought, "Well, at least I didn't let Iba talk me into tattooing the seventh squad logo on me. . .though I could just to spite ninth. Yet again, I'm there to protect and be their superior, not to have them create a mob and put me on fire."

_Can they kill a lieutenant legally?_, she pondered and shook her head. _Forget it, I'm not making myself paranoid today. Any day is fine but not today._

Grabbing the badge off the floor, she placed it over her left arm and made sure it was snugly and not constricting her blood flow. She stared at it in annoyance and mumbled, "You better not leave tan lines."

Footsteps entered her area and she waited until she spotted a man stop before her. She smiled in greeting and stood up to wrap her arms around her friend's neck and giggled happily, "Oh, you came to see me! You always age beautifully, my friend."

Yumichika Ayasegawa simply brushed his short hair behind his ear and smiled with his pearly white teeth to lecture, "As always, beauty is art, dear Ruka."

She let him go and motioned for him to enter her living space as she said brightly, "I expected to see you yesterday with Ikkaku but I guess you were busy. I would've given your souvenir to him but I wanted to hand it over personally."

Ruka dug into a box of items she'd brought with her from her return trip and pulled out a huge gift basket full of hair care items. Out of all her male friends, Yumichika was her go-to guy for fashion and beauty. . .and guy stuff Sajin wouldn't be much help with. The man was practically a guru with all the items and advice he gave out. She gave him the nicely wrapped present and his purple eyes gleamed happily as he touched the clear wrap of the packaging, his voice in quiet awe, "Is this the new. . .?"

"Facial care line straight from Europe where beauty has no price" she recited with him in unison from the advertised poster and he grabbed her into a tight hug that had her smaller form tugging after his. Her eyes widened when he began to squeeze and she punched his shoulder for release. As a thirteenth squad member, the hit barely registered and she waited for him to finish his glomp before she lost oxygen.

After a few excited exclamations about the gift, he let her go and hugged his gift protectively to declare, "You have no idea how much I love you right now! I've been waiting for this product for ages, Ruka!"

Yumichika hugged the large gift again and Ruka chuckled at his childlike happiness. At times, she wondered how a meticulous man like he could stand living in the rough environment of the eleventh division. Yet again, they were survivalists and her friend looked pretty darn healthy compared to the rest.

"What can I say? Guys with dark hair just tickle me pink" she joked with a goofy smile and patted his shoulder to ask eagerly, "How have you been? It seems like a week ago that we talked."

"It was" he pointed out dryly and she grinned cheekily, forgetting the advanced communication techniques she'd used daily in Germany to connect with her own division. He smiled at her silly expressions and told her casually, "Yachiru told me the promotion news yesterday so I decided to drop by and call a spa day for us today. After all, a decade puts who knows how much dirty blockage in one's skin and I doubt you listened to me about the weekly exfoliation."

"Yachiru probably has the news all over the Seireitei by now" she sighed, knowing the child's determination at outsmarting adults. Nonetheless, she was happy to get out and travel the area to see any new changes given to the Seireitei and the Rukongai districts. She pointed to him and smiled cheerfully, "If that spa has a full package, I'm there."

Yumichika grinned smugly and enticed her with the words, "Ten massage options with fifteen choices in facial masks."

She let out a suppressed giggle, resisting the childish action to hop, and said gleefully, "This is why you rock, Yumichika!"

"I always do" he laughed softly as his ego inflated proudly and wrapped an arm around her shoulders as they exited her home. He'd drop off the basket at his division before they went into Rukongai. There was no chance he was risking losing his precious gift and held it close protectively as Ruka raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

Yumichika turned to observe and critique the recent changes in his friend and tapped his chin with a finger as he said aloud, "Now, we have to see if we can get a wardrobe change. That dark blue sash is an awful clash with your uniform. You need a pastel color to make your skin glow, not make it dreary with darker tones. And the hair. . .we'll have to wait till it re-grows and style it. Today, we're definitely picking up products for those loose tresses that are just screaming for help."

"It wasn't by choice that I cut it, my experiment accidentally put my hair on fire" she defended quickly about her chin-length hair. It wasn't too short and she'd begun to like it recently since it kept out of her face. It was much better than keeping it tied up in a ponytail or braiding it. However, she wasn't parting with her sash due to its sentimental value. Many had tried to tear it away from her but she clutched it for life with an iron grip. Looking down at her uniform, she objected, "My wardrobe is fine, it's a uniform, but I wouldn't mind shopping a little. Don't make me buy the store, all right?"

"That was eighteen years ago, let it go" he dismissed with an airy sigh and the two took off to spend their morning together at the Junrinan Spa.

* * *

Ruka stumbled back into the Seireitei with a goofy smile as Yumichika supported her under the shoulders and held a blissful smile of his own. Each held their own shopping bags as they wandered the Seireitei together, eager to continue their relaxing day as their cheeks flushed a rosy pink.

"That was phenomenal, I think they peeled off forty years" she sighed dreamily and held onto his arm with both of hers as they arrived in the eleventh division. She touched her cheek with her palm and smiled astonishingly at how smooth it was. It was a baby's soft butt on her face and she grinned at the comparison. Usually, she objected to such beauty luxuries since she rarely took constant care on it but it only took Rangiku or Yumichika to drag her away and indulge.

"Keep that package and you'll be Yachiru's age within years" he joked with a sparkly smile that made her envious of his perfect teeth. How was he so neat and tidy while she looked like the maid that cleaned up after him? Shrugging it off, she petted her own cheek again contently while Yumichika waved at Ikkaku in greeting as he sat outside relaxing with a bottle of sake. The two walked up the grassy path, almost stumbling over their own feet as their sluggish bodies demanded rest.

The third seat stared awkwardly at the two as they sat down lethargically on the wooden walkway with their bags and he raised an eyebrow to ask bluntly, "What the hell have you two been on?"

"Heaven" they both sighed with flushed cheeks and Yachiru popped in from behind the door in front of them. She'd been prodding her captain's bells for fun as he wrote a half-assed report to his commander- he was more vocal anyway- and had heard the lively new voices outside, eager to investigate. Anything was better than sitting on her captain's shoulder as he came up with synonyms on how he'd destroyed his enemies brutally.

"Ruki, you're back!" Yachiru cheered energetically and flung herself onto the woman's turned back, wrapping her arms around her neck. Ruka choked in surprise for a moment and waited for the child to release her. The child's hugging always helped her improve on holding her breath anyway. As she suspected, the girl let go and looked over her shoulder with a pout, telling her, "Baldy cleaned off the paint and his big bald head is glaring at me like the sun today."

"I'm not bald, damn it!" Ikkaku shouted defensively and sulked in his spot, chugging down a cup of sake he'd been sipping. Any attempts to fend her off would have Captain Zaraki chasing him down with a bloodthirsty smile as his lieutenant told him where to make the killing blow. He shook his head at the imagined scene and decided to ignore the child. Ignored children usually wandered away for better excitement in the end. He leaned against one of the wooden posts and drank his sake quietly but kept a close eye on the demon child.

"Hmm, would you like kitty sunglasses to help?" Ruka asked her with a smile and pulled out a black pair from inside her sleeve to give the child. Yachiru studied them curiously and put them on, grinning slyly at Ikkaku. She laughed at the smiling kitty cats on the rims as she touched the plastic and the brunette told the trio, "Iba didn't want the second pair so I kept it, I'm not sure what he did with the first. Probably gave it to his mom or something."

Yumichika, Ikkaku, and Yachiru all burst out in laughter at the comment and Ruka shrugged innocently, "What? There's nothing wrong with that, I'd create my own mother if I was allowed to legally. I think it's nice that he has a very close connection with his mother."

That alone made them cackle harder, Ikkaku sprawled on his back as he held his stomach while Yachiru giggled behind Ruka's head. Yumichika laughed to the point that he had tears running down and he sobbed through his laughter, "No, my moisturizer's melting!"

Heavy footsteps headed towards them and the eleventh division captain stepped out of his office to see the commotion and demanded gruffly, "What the hell's goin' on with all of ya?"

Ikkaku calmed his nonstop laughter and choked out, "Iba. . Mother. .Weird. . .Dependency issues."

He stared at Yachiru prance around with her sunglasses as she hopped over to poke Ikkaku's bald head while he laughed. The third seat bared his teeth instantly and turned away to continue his cold shoulder and the captain shook his head at them, "Have you been out drinking? It's still morning!"

"Drunkenness has no business hours" Ikkaku replied lazily and sat up, shooing Yachiru away who returned to Ruka's side for a hug. He patted his abdomen as his ribs tingled after his loud guffaws and informed his superior, "But we're not."

Zaraki stared at the three with a small glare for their lack of training in the fields and noticed Yumichika. There was something off about him and he snapped at him, "Why the hell are you glowing?"

"My beauty radiates its own light" he defended instantly and turned away indignantly. He grabbed one of his teal shopping bags and sorted through his purchased items to pacify his mind.

Ruka chuckled at his words and had to agree he had taken on an odd ethereal glow. Good thing she hadn't gone with his treatment or she'd be a torch for the night. She turned her head back towards the captain and grinned, "He had the most expensive spa treatment in Rukongai and apparently, he can now emit his own glow."

He spotted her as Yachiru whispered to her about all the evil things she had planned for the day and raised an eyebrow. Unlike the rest of Yachiru's female friends, this particular woman had the same destructible tendencies as the child. He shook his head at the possible mayhem and spoke roughly, "So that's why Yachiru's talkin' nonstop lately. You're here. I thought she had one of those speech impediments an' crap."

"I assure you, captain, she does not" she said with a soft laugh and cuddled the bouncy child in her arms. Nothing spelled innocence and pandemonium like Yachiru did. Ikkaku stared as the little girl started gnawing at Ruka's gloved forearm but the older woman gave no recognition of pain as she went on, "She's simply very energetic and needs someone to keep up with her."

"How 'bout using a leash?" Ikkaku suggested with a cackle and Yachiru chucked a rock from the grassy borders. It smacked him in the center of his forehead and she simply grinned innocently from her perch on Ruka's lap. The shinigami groaned in pain and held his face while he let out a stream of curses aimed at the small lieutenant.

"Yeah, I wouldn't insult her" Ruka commented nonchalantly to him and watched Yumichika drag Ikkaku off inside the office to patch up the injury. She could hear the third seat's loud complaints about the evil child and Yachiru simply hummed casually as if nothing had happened. She grinned at Zaraki and asked eagerly, "Any good fights lately, captain?"

"Nah, just plain Hollow activity where you could scratch your ass and still have time left to kill it" he snorted lazily and Yachiru climbed up on his shoulder with a playful smile. He patted her head as she tried to put on her sunglasses on him but he pointed for her to put them back on herself. She showed him happily and modeled the new look as he shrugged to Ruka, "Been tryin' to catch Kurosaki but he was quick yesterday. Why? You want to give me a fight?"

Her eyes widened and she stammered in surprise, "N-no, I. . .um. . .I could never face a captain, I'd probably barf all over your nice sandals and you'd slip!"

_Did I just say he'd fall in my barf?!_, she thought embarrassedly.

She slapped her cheek for saying that and sighed depressingly in apology, "I'm not very good when nervous. I much prefer slashing Hollows to shreds than facing people."

"We'll toughen you up, right, Kenny?" Yachiru piped up to him, her tone already mandatory.

"She's squad nine, Yachiru" Zaraki pointed out and the woman stuck out her tongue at the ground. Yachiru mimicked the motion and showed her captain proudly. He sighed, her infectious mood already tugging at his tough heartstrings, and ran his hand down his face to agree, "Sure, Yachiru, you can pick whoever ya want. Just make sure neither dies or Yamamoto will have my ass evaluated for captaincy and I'm not about to take those damn anger management classes again."

"Baldy's pretty good, you should get him" she told Ruka and placed her finger on her chin. The brunette grimaced as she remembered the bloody fights that sometimes resulted between him and Iba. Yachiru scratched her head in thought and said aloud, "But he kinda yells everything out so who knows if you'll understand a word of it."

"I heard that!"

"This doesn't concern you, Baldy!" she barked in warning as her small hands clenched and turned to her friend with a smile. Ruka could only smile back nervously and question what her young but mischievous brain was cooking up. She grinned smugly and spoke aloud so Ikkaku could hear, "This is between me and _my_ friends! You don't have any so you can't join in!"

"I have friends!"

Yachiru rolled her brown eyes behind her black kitty sunglasses and Ruka hugged her again to squeal happily, "If I ever have a kid, I want her to be as destructive as her."

The pink haired girl giggled at the compliment and ran over to pull on Zaraki's hakama to hop eagerly, "Oh! We should find her a boyfriend and they can have mini-me's! Wouldn't that be cute, Kenny? I could train them to be my minions and do my bidding!"

"That's just what we need, more Yachiru's!" Ikkaku's aggravated voice shouted from inside.

"I said shut up, Baldy!"

* * *

"Lieutenant Kyoraku, Captain Unohana will see you now."

Ruka stood up anxiously from her chair and hauled her gift for the fourth division captain to the door, grunting as she pulled it with her strength. Hanataro Yamada could only stare in surprise as he saw the small woman pull up a peach tree the size of her own height to the captain's office without complaint.

_Why is she carrying a peach tree?_, he thought strangely.

"Do you need help with that?" he asked timidly as he watched her stop and wipe sweat from her brow. Had she dragged that tree throughout the whole division? He struggled between helping her out and advising that her back would be strained from the pulling but she shook her head.

She waved her hand dismissively and grinned widely, "Nah, I got it."

Hanataro could only give one last stare at the peculiar woman and returned to completing his rounds for the day. Ruka wiped her hands on the back of her uniform and smoothed out any creases from the front to make sure she would look presentable. There were only four people in the Seireitei she would never dare appear shabby to and Retsu Unohana was one of them. She coughed into her hand to make sure her breath was minty fresh and tucked her hair behind her ears to be presentable. She opened the door and stepped into the captain's office with the tree behind her. Captain Unohana simply raised her eyes from the book she'd been reading, not disturbed in the slightest to Ruka's odd gift as she tugged it inside the office.

All she could say was, "Ruka, you brought me another tree. How delightful."

"Anything for you, captain" she smiled cheerfully and sauntered over to hug the captain joyfully around the shoulders. The flowery scent of the healer soothed her instantly and she confessed, "I've missed you so much while in Germany. I even named my mirror Retsu and talked to it at night so I could stay close to you. It's very hard to find and keep friends overseas, they tend to think I'm crazy. You'll never find me crazy, will you, captain?"

"I'm always here for you, Ruka" Retsu chuckled softly and fixed Ruka's hair so her ends could curl outwards. She knew it was hard for the wayward shinigami to keep close ties internationally despite her tries which made her wonder why she chose such assignments. In her view, she needed to keep close to the ones who would guide her rather than run from them but kids are kids. Ruka smiled happily at her mended hairstyle which for some unknown reason, only Retsu could fix with her skilled hands. The healer patted her cheek and smiled gently, "There. I know how much you hate for your hair to stay flat."

Retsu turned her chair to the side and Ruka kneeled on the floor instantly to relax next to her. She'd done that ever since her childhood despite the healer's complaints about her bones hurting later on as she aged but Ruka never listened. Now, Retsu simply waited for her to sit on the floor and rest her head against her legs like a child before opening up about her problems. Unlike Captain Komamura, she told the fourth captain everything including girly stuff her father figure and uncles would be completely clueless about.

"Don't tell anyone or my reputation as a lieutenant will die before it's begun" Ruka said playfully with a smile and placed her cheek against her leg. How could she begin? Her whole week had been turned upside-down since Iba had given her the call. Damn phone shouldn't have been answered at all. She sighed deeply and began with the biggest one, "I hate this new job and I haven't even started, I'm already having nightmares about it. Usually, my nightmares consist of monsters maiming and killing me but this is worse! I've cloistered myself in Sajin's squad and now I have to pack up and go. . .I wish they would've just let me stay as third seat until I couldn't fight from old age and have to retire."

"That would've been a pretty long time and we all want what's best for our people" the captain said calmly and stroked her head to soothe the jittery shinigami. The brunette bit her bottom lip while she twiddled her thumbs and Retsu spoke with an optimistic edge, "You're strong, Ruka, but you dodge and evade any chances to succeed. Maybe this is the little kick you need to jumpstart it. You've always been ahead of most and at your age, you should be at a captain's rank. There's only so much time you can throw away before you have to step up to the challenge."

"Hitsugaya broke the record as youngest captain, I can do oldest" Ruka justified dismissively and the healer chuckled at seeing her uncle's similar laid-back persona in her. Her cheek pressed against her hakama and she admitted softly, "I'm scared about this whole thing, I can whine and complain to my uncle and Sajin but you're my pool of reflection so I need a good pep talk. I don't know how I can leave squad seven and accept ninth wholeheartedly despite Sajin's constant good reviews on the new captain. I think I'd prefer bad reviews compared to that. Seventh has been my longest squad and I've put their teachings into my way of doing things. What if Captain Hisagi's squad does different and he wants me to do it too? It'd be like your division shifting it's motto into eleventh's, it's quite scary."

"Don't fear the unknown, take it head-on and ride it out" Retsu advised with an amused smile and she whimpered softly in reluctance. She knew the woman could be stubborn at letting old things go and assured her, "Captain Hisagi is a good person and he's very loyal to his division. He took on a lot of responsibility running his whole division after his own captain's treachery and I'm sure he wants to reform his squad and build that trust again. You need to be there as an outsider to make sure that trust is created."

"That sounds similar to what Sajin said about captains and divisions bonding together after the Aizen incident" she muttered with a slight frown and couldn't see herself chatting up an unknown captain. She didn't know anything about him and she'd rarely visited the ninth division in her whole life. How would she connect with them?

"The Seireitei needs to work together as a whole, not as separate independent branches" Retsu explained wisely with her own view and the brunette glanced up readily for her next input. Her blue eyes met Ruka's similar hue briefly before turning her line of vision towards one of the open windows in her office. Softly, she spoke, "Power and arrogance always walk closely together and it can corrupt the ambitious and inexperienced. Before Aizen, many of the divisions rarely interacted with the others and only captains and lieutenants saw each other on an average basis. Now, all of us must have constant communication and vigilance to continue our protection from arising enemies. Two captains have now filled three of the voids left from that ordeal and you will fill the rising captain's old seat. You are strong, little Ruka, and with time, you can rise to be one as well."

Ruka smiled softly at her role model's words of confidence and the fear of being unaccepted by the new squad lessened. The nervousness still remained but she felt better as she always did when they talked. The fourth captain always left her tranquil after their small sessions together and she had needed to unload the majority of her problems for the week. That's what she loved about Retsu, she gave the help she needed without a hint of complaint.

"You are the most wonderful mother figure in all the Seireitei's combined" she declared fondly and hugged her slim leg like a toddler. Whenever she traveled, she missed the company of the captain and didn't know what she'd ever do without her. She'd always tagged along behind her as a child whenever she left her division and Retsu had served as her surrogate mother since she had none. With a loving smile, she told her pleasantly, "I'm so glad you're dating uncle Jushiro."

"Yes, well, maybe he'll think about proposing soon" Retsu chuckled with a shy smile and Ruka grinned at her words. It was always interesting to see the healer blush at her romantic woes with the thirteenth captain. The two had been dating for fifty years after Jushiro had finally mustered up the courage after twenty years (Retsu found the modesty alluring) and asked her during a private dinner. She shook her head and joked in a hopeless tone, "I keep dropping hints but he's always cutting away at his little bonsai trees."

"Maybe you need to write it in the bonsais, they need a little flair after he's done with them" she teased gently and heard her laugh at the thought. He loved cutting the trees but his skills weren't very good and her uncle usually had to replace them before Jushiro's estate was full of half naked trees. Ruka laughed fondly at his beloved hobby and said, "Uncle Jushiro needs a little push once in a while, he's very bashful about that kind of stuff. I wish uncle Shunsui could be like that before Nanao ends up filing sexual harassment on him. Now that I'm here to stay, I'd be more than happy getting you to be my aunt by any means necessary."

Kneeling on one knee to abide to her promise, her hands went over her chest as Ruka asked dramatically, "Will you be my aunt, Retsu Unohana?"

The fourth captain sighed with a tiny frown and leaned down to pat her head sympathetically, "Well, it's the best proposal I've gotten so yes."

* * *

Shinigami Extras:

Ruka grinned childishly at her painted toes and wiggled them at Yumichika. Her friend had simply manicured his hands with a clear polish as he finished an exfoliating treatment on his feet. She wasn't the type to exfoliate every piece of her body and had been placated easily by staring at her green toes. Yumichika had scolded her for choosing such an ugly color similar to the hue of moss but she liked it.

She glanced as the woman pampering her today brought over a small ceramic container filled with water but she couldn't see it clearly. Glancing at Yumichika, she asked curiously, "What's that for?"

"Your facial, silly girl" he explained with a chuckle to her naivety. "Lean back and just wait."

Ruka listened and about a minute later, she stared up with wide eyes as a hot towel was placed over her face. The intense and unexpected heat made her scream out painfully in bloody murder as Yumichika covered his sensitive ears.

_We'll try at-home facials instead_, he thought as he watched her thrash like a demon before she chucked the towel at the frightened worker.

* * *

**A/N**: Thanks to all my story reviewers, I appreciate your comments. Also, thanks for reading my story too! So this chapter is mostly filler as Ruka tries to dodge meeting with her new captain but Shuhei will pop up in the next chapter. It'll be posted soon since this had been written originally with chapter 4 infused but I didn't want to make you guys read too long unless you're all right with that? I tend to write long chapters but if you want shorter segments, just tell me.


	4. Ruka's Old Flame

CHAPTER 4

**Ruka's Old Flame  
**

* * *

"Uncle Shiro, you have some 'splainin to do!" Ruka called out as she stepped into the thirteenth division's office to find the captain drinking tea with her uncle. She could only wonder how much work her sake drinking relative had piled onto poor Nanao but she knew her best friend was probably dancing in relief that she had the eight division to herself.

"About what?" the white-haired captain asked puzzled as his brown eyes blinked innocently. He tapped his fingers against his tea cup and gasped, "Oh no, is it because I forgot your welcome home gift? I'll get-"

"No, I don't care about stuff like that! I always give and I never take" Ruka broke in, making a sour face at the thought. He'd instilled that quirk in his personality into hers during childhood and she had used it on Byakuya. . .still did too. She walked over to sit next to the eight captain who gave her a delighted wide smile and she returned it. However, she turned to Captain Ukitake and demanded, "Now, why haven't you swept Captain Unohana off her feet and into the sunset like in those sappy human romance films? When will I get to cheer and throw flowers at Mr. and _Mrs_. Ukitake?"

Jushiro almost spit his tea and dodged the question, "Ruka, it's very complicated-"

"You've been dating for almost 50 years!" she pointed out loudly and Shunsui nodded in agreement with his niece. Like Ruka, he encouraged his friend to tie the knot with the healer despite he himself didn't fancy married life. The brunette shook her head in disappointment and she stated, "I don't even have socks that old. It has to come eventually, uncle, unless you want the gorgeous and powerful Retsu to be swept off by another eligible bachelor?"

_I'll raise hell if I lose my self-proclaimed Aunt Retsu_, she thought determinedly. _I will die a happy shinigami when I see Retsu and Jushiro ring wedding bells!_

"She wouldn't do that" Jushiro told them assuredly, then remembered his girlfriend was a pretty good knockout and he lay in bed a lot with his illness. What if she _did_ get bored of him? There were plenty of healthy virile men in the Seireitei besides him that were up for the taking. With a hint of insecurity, he asked Shunsui nervously, "Would she?"

"No, Ruka's just trying to scare you into proposing with her psychology babble" he scoffed lightly and patted her head as she glared at the childish pat. Her lips frowned at her uncle's ability to decipher her plan and she began to create another. Shunsui gave her a knowing look and laughed at his crafty relative, "She's fiercely loyal to Retsu after all and Captain Unohana can never be taken lightly."

Ruka smiled at the compliment and her face fell when he asked firmly, "Now don't you have a meeting with Captain Hisagi in half an hour?"

"I'll be there, it's not like I'll make a break for the senkaimon" she snorted dryly and her sapphire eyes lit up at the idea. However, he uncle poked her nose bringing her eyes back down and she snapped from the disillusion, "Uncle, stop ruining my daydreams. I'm already a ball of nerves and Retsu managed to calm me down because I don't want to yell out weird stuff at my new captain. I already told Zaraki I'd barf over his shoes today."

"You'll be fine" Shunsui assured softly and gave her a hug which she happily returned, partly because she wanted someone to latch onto for comfort. Too bad she couldn't keep anyone she knew in her new squad to ease the upcoming move. She clutched onto his arm tightly and he asked with a smile, "You want a hot toddy to calm your nerves?"

Her eyebrow raised at the strange offer and her eyes widened when he yelled out, "Oi, Lieutenant Kuchiki, two hot toddies on the double!"

"I'm not going to drink! That would embarrass me more!" Ruka objected instantly and smacked his arm, wishing Nanao was in the room to do it for her. She enjoyed hitting the captain and her strike was much better aimed than hers. She crossed her arms and examined her uncle suspiciously to ask, "And where'd _you_ learn about hot toddies? They're from the Western Seireiteis."

"I've lived far longer than you ever have meaning much more experience on my side" he answered playfully and she shrugged, his point making sense. Her uncle rarely traveled internationally and would keep most outside trips to the world of the living only. He raised his finger and told her wisely, "I've picked up many things over my lifetime. Things was would frighten you."

"I'm not easily scared, uncle" she stated flatly at his attempt to joke but gave him the bonus point for trying. Living with a captain such as the flamboyant Shunsui Kyoraku toughened you up against unexpected and awkward situations. He grinned good-humouredly as he sipped his cup of sake and Ruka wrinkled her nose at the wine to tell him, "You really should stop drinking so much. You'd flatten me in a second if you fell and I don't want to experience those four frightening hours ever again. Plus, I doubt uncle Shiro could pull you out of a fountain like last time and Nanao's not here to keep a tab on you."

_(107 years ago)_

_Ruka ran through the thirteenth division searching for any signs of her drunken uncle as her captain ran in the other direction. He had run from Captain Ukitake's home declaring that the Hollows were coming and had thrown his pink kimono on the front lawn as he headed for his supposed battle. Luckily for his reputation, there were scarcely any shinigami walking the grounds at that late hour. She'd only stayed up due to her captain inviting her to dinner to spend time with her uncle._

_She heard a loud war chant that sounded strangely like her uncle and headed towards it hastily but she was sure her captain would be there first. Her sandaled feet echoed against the cement floor as she entered the main courtyard of the thirteenth division and she halted instantly. The sight she beheld as she arrived was both disturbing and humiliating._

"_Jushiro, let go! That Hollow took my sake and that bastard's giving it back one way or another!" her uncle slurred in his speech as he dived into the large fountain of the thirteenth division. Shunsui's clothes were soaked as he tried to dive into the pool while the other captain kept pulling his clothes to yank him back out. It was hard for him to see since the cold cascading waters of the fountain kept pouring down his face and his friend had become as slippery as a fish._

"_There's no Hollows here! You're going to drown by your own drunken illusions!" Jushiro yelled back as the two fought, one to save the other; the other to drown and save his invisible sake. Ruka could only hope her uncle settled down before her captain had another of his attacks from the stressful scene._

_After a few minutes, Jushiro managed to yank him out of the cold fountain as Shunsui wailed into the night with flailing limbs, "No! My sweet sake!"_

"_Will you stay still? There's no Hollow in there" Jushiro spoke sharply, surprising Ruka since his tone was always serene and calm. She guessed even the great Captain Ukitake had a breaking point and she stayed behind at a safe distance as the two captains settled down._

_Shunsui nodded slowly as Jushiro reaffirmed nothing had entered the grounds and his shoulders slumped in disappointment. Jushiro sighed in relief that the worst was over and decided to head in to grab a blanket before his friend got pneumonia. The moment he turned, however, Shunsui made a last final dive for the fountain._

"_I'll get you!" he declared loudly and a splash hit the air as he dove in. The water splattered over the white-haired captain, flattening his locks, and he wiped his face tiredly._

_Jushiro released a weary sigh and returned to yank his friend out again without complaint. He tugged at Captain Kyoraku's uniform from behind and yelled, "Shunsui!"_

"_I'd be shockingly surprised if I'm not mentally scarred by this" Ruka sighed miserably to herself as she watched them.  
(End)_

"It was one time but that Hollow did take my sake, he even laughed about it" Shunsui insisted as he took a drink from his cup and the other two shook their heads in dismay.

Rukia poked her head into the room and asked suspiciously, "Why is everyone yelling?"

"Embarrassing family secrets" Ruka told her with a shiver and stood back up, smoothing out her uniform and patting her hakama for any flecks of dust. She hopped over to grin at her friend, "Walk me out, will ya? I'm sure the captain can spare you for a little bit and he needs to watch my uncle's sake intake since Nanao's not here."

"I don't mind, you two have fun" Jushiro smiled cheerfully and gave a happy wave. Ruka smiled at his healthy outlook and hoped he'd stay that way for a while. She hated it when he was ill in bed but she knew Retsu would use her medicinal abilities to keep him well.

"You're leaving your beloved uncle already?" Shunsui called out desperately as the two began to leave.

"Yes, sorry uncle _Jushiro_" Ruka teased and the thirteenth captain chuckled amusingly as the other man hung his head in shame. She chuckled to herself and added softly, "I'll see you later, uncle Shunsui. And don't worry, I won't run away."

The two walked out of the building and down the cemented path to head straight out of the thirteenth division. Ruka clasped her hands behind her back to enjoy the chirpy birds of the morning and smiled. Rukia gave a quick glance to the home in the back and commented, "You have an odd family."

"Tell me about it, I think I'd rather have your brother as mines instead" she joked lightly and Rukia laughed at the strange depiction. With a wink, the brunette asked curiously, "So, how was your outing with Kurosaki? Did he survive bringing you home?"

"Yes, I made sure he didn't come back with me to ensure it" Rukia chuckled softly and shrugged her shoulders as her face glanced at floor shyly. Dating an outsider wasn't a good thing with the Kuchiki clan but Ichigo had saved their realm countless times without asking anything in return. She'd also gotten quite comfy living in his closet whenever she traveled to the real world. Her pale cheeks flushed lightly and she kept her voice with a casual tone, "I'm giving the relationship thing a try. I mean, it's been ten years and the guy's saved my butt a hundred times. Can't say most men would do that for a girl."

"True, they'd run to their mothers with their tail between their legs" Ruka scoffed with a frown and the younger woman laughed. She wouldn't pry into her friend's personal business with Ichigo out of respect and the less she knew, the more the two could hide their small romance. Rukia's position in the great Kuchiki clan would make it harder for her to choose anyone to see and Ruka smiled encouragingly at the raven haired woman to speak in approval, "You're doing fine, Rukia. If you truly care for him, go for it. Forget what everybody else says! I know your brother's upbringing would have you chucking rocks at him but hey, wouldn't the romance be worth the scandal? I'm sure Ichigo would have a stupid grin on his face if he gives Byakuya a heart attack with the news."

"You can be as crazy as Captain Kyoraku sometimes" she sighed with pity for her morbid humor but laughed afterwards at imagining Ichigo's happy grin. Ruka's words rung a little bell in her mind and she wondered why she approved easily since Byakuya tried to teach the lieutenant the same ideals as they'd grown up. Obviously, it went in one ear and out the other as she stared at the perky brunette. She raised a tiny eyebrow and asked curiously, "Did you ever date someone who your family didn't agree with?"

Ruka grinned mischievously as her blue eyes twinkled and she chuckled, "Oh, they didn't know, I had to make sure of that first. Always keep your chosen partner out of the spotlight and nonexistent to maintain a secret romance. They probably would've had a heart attack if they'd met him, he gave off that vibe to people. I absolutely loved that about him though. He wasn't one of those average 'good boys who break the rules' type like Ichigo but he sure was something."

_How he scared people_, she thought amusingly and smiled.

"Who was he? A Zaraki type?" Rukia blurted as she covered her mouth to lower her loud laughs. She already knew the older woman had a quirk for doing destructive things so she could only guess her mystery lover was even worse. Ruka didn't strike her as the type who dated 'the good and quiet' men most women sought.

"Not in the slightest, but he was a ravenous wolf in bed" the other responded with an amorous sigh as her eyes lidded slightly in remembrance and Rukia choked in embarrassment for the adulterated confession. Ruka waved her hand to dismiss the sentence to calm the red-faced woman and waited for the thirteenth lieutenant to resume their pace. She patted her back soothingly and smiled, "That's a romance story for another day though. I don't want to frighten and appall you any more."

"You got my attention, I want to know!" Rukia told her eagerly and grabbed her friend's sleeve. The brunette hadn't expected the enthusiastic reaction and blamed it on her babbling.

_I should consider psychiatric treatments for that_, she thought irritably. _Then again, I could use it to scare people away that I don't like._

Ruka snapped back to reality and eyed the petite woman suspiciously, tapping her chin to question humorously, "Now how do I know you're trustworthy, Lieutenant Kuchiki?"

Rukia then began to dig into her uniform's sleeves and the other woman watched her intriguingly until she pulled out a small charm the size of her thumb. She gave it to Ruka and proclaimed proudly in a spokesperson's voice, "I give you my homemade Chappy charm! Perfect to hang off the string on your hilt and to decorate any knickknacks you have. Also proves your complete devoted trust with juicy secrets!"

Ruka grinned at the tiny miniature bunny, grazing her finger over its plump cheeks and poked its white tummy for fun. She held the tiny charm against her chest and was instantly in love with it. How could anyone not love Chappy? She stared at Rukia and instantly pulled the shorter woman into a hug, nearly knocking her down as she exclaimed happily, "I love it! Thank you, thank you!"

_I think she's killing me with love_, Rukia thought as the air was pushed out of her lungs.

She flailed her slim arms for salvation and wheezed out painfully, "You're welcome."

Ruka released her and patted her back as she gained the ability to breathe again. Rukia hunched over as she took in a lungful of air while her friend occupied herself by ogling the bunny. The shorter lieutenant coughed and asked gruffly, "Now can I know?"

"Fine" Ruka sighed with a mock pout and wrapped an arm around her shoulders as she looked around for nosy people. She'd only tell the lieutenant because of their trust but she never wanted that specific fact about her to come into the open. Her uncles would probably faint into comas and Byakuya would curse her to hell. Not a good result for that leaked secret. Deeming it safe, she grinned cheekily and leaned in to admit, "I secretly dated the current captain of squad twelve."

Rukia burst into laughter as the other stared confused at her reaction. Her eyes went to Ruka's face and she laughed even harder, holding her ribs from her loud laughs. Her foot stomped against the cement and she gasped between laughs, "Nice joke, Ruka. Ah jeez, you got me perfectly with that one. Seriously, who was he? All horrid joking aside, I don't think I can take another jab."

"I wasn't kidding" the brunette stated dryly and Rukia's face paled in shock, her arms slacking against her sides as her mouth popped open. The brunette blinked and wondered how scary he was now to other shinigami if Rukia was practically frozen in horror already. Had he gotten worse as she'd predicted? Ruka shook her head at her friend's stupor and explained herself, "I dated him for a few years while I worked in Urahara's division. He'd already been in the squad for six years before I met him. He's always been a genius, I loved that about him even with his quirky personality back then."

She smiled at her long ago girlish memories but stopped when she noticed Rukia grip her hair as she tried to comprehend her words. For a moment, she thought her friend would break into convulsions but instead she yelled out,

"Captain Kurotsuchi? The man with no ears and face paint who tortures specimens?!" Rukia demanded shrilly, hoping to get clarification that she'd been hearing about a whole different person from division twelve. She couldn't imagine the peppy woman dating one of the most frightening- scratch that, the scariest captain in the Seireitei! However, Ruka nodded in agreement with a grin and she exclaimed, "You dated a psychopath?! He doesn't even look human! He's the last person anyone would want to date in this world! Ruka, you can do better!"

"I don't know how he looks now but a century ago, I found him irresistible-missing ears and all" Ruka smiled cheerily as she crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side to reminisce. She decided to prod her friend's horror further and sighed softly to tell her, "I could listen to him complain and rant about his work all day without a care. He had the cutest expressions when he argued. At night, he was an animal in bed-"

"Ah!" Rukia cried out in alarm and covered her ears to block anymore words. She already regretted knowing the lieutenant's secret and shook her head to make it leave. She waved her hands at her friend frantically and exclaimed, "Don't make me picture anything! Forget I asked!"

"Too bad, it's my forbidden romance and I won't have you badmouthing it" she said lightly and punched her arm gently to stop her frantic twitching. Her lips pulled back into a witty grin and she pointed out, "Cutesy romances make me barf and he suited me perfectly back then. How we scared people. And that's what happens when you get curious, my friend, your mind is raped."

"It's going to take a while to erase that" Rukia shuddered at the thought of the frightening captain with her friend, even if it had been ages ago. The thought of a horrible man like Kurotsuchi being the least bit romantic could make anyone's skin crawl. Why had her friend dated _him _of all people? Oh well, the good thing was that she wasn't anymore. She began to walk, her lips thinned into a small frown, and shook her head again to forget it while Ruka whistled nonchalantly with a smile on her face.

The pair continued on until they reached the open gate separating the twelfth and thirteenth division during working hours. Ruka walked on without a problem but Rukia stayed frozen in her spot, she wouldn't dare step into that division without a companion. The brunette saw her hesitation and put her hands on her hips to tease with a smirk, "You're not scared of the twelfth squad, are you?"

"Maybe it was different a century ago but I'd avoid going in there" the raven-haired woman stated and crossed her arms defiantly. She eyed the buildings of the next division cautiously and advised, "I'd shunpo my way quickly till reaching 11th. At least there, you have a chance."

"I'll be fine, what's the worst that could hap-"

"Don't jinx it!" Rukia exclaimed with her superstitions about said squad and pointed to the Chappy charm hanging from Ruka's hilt ribbon. Firmly, she ordered, "Now kiss Chappy and walk into the shadow of possible death."

Ruka laughed at her childish dramatics and waved her hand at her in farewell, "I'll see you another day, Rukia."

She walked through the twelfth squad with ease, the memories of her old squad's map still inside her brain. Her friend's reiatsu dropped off her radar instantly and she chuckled at her fear. The twelfth division had never frightened her and she eyed each building she passed to see the differences from the passing decades. She had been a pretty good researcher back when she worked there and missed the resigned position for a moment.

_What am I saying? I'm still a darn good researcher!_, she thought in self-assurance. _I may not have a fancy private lab but my quarters are good enough. It leaves less areas to clean up when experiments backfire._

Nodding to herself confidently as her mind switched gears, she walked on.

_(113 years ago)_

"_I want her destroyed" Kurotsuchi hissed under his breath as he dropped three yellow drops of a sample into a beaker filled with a white thick mixture, turning it to a light green color. Even while furious, the man kept working meticulously._

"_If you stay angry, you're simply falling into the effect Sarugaki wants to have on you" Ruka pointed out as she watched him stir the mixture, scribbling down her observations into her experiment log as she talked. He gave her a small glare as he paused his stirring and she shrugged slightly to explain, "It's just how I see it, sir. If you ignore the taunts of the lieutenant, she will eventually grow bored and find another subject to focus on and torture. . .like Captain Hirako. It's simple child psychology, you take the toy away, they cry; you give it, they're pacified. In this case, it needs to be switched and the new toy will be an improvement. You're out of the equation as the old and Hirako's in as the new toy and she loves kicking in his kneecaps already."_

_He gave her a satisfied smirk and gave her the mixture along with the list to check off. Ruka took them into her hands carefully without a word and he stated amusingly, "You're frightfully brilliant sometimes, Kyoraku."_

"_That's the best compliment I've received so far" she smiled respectfully and chuckled softly, "Quite frankly, you handled her pretty well compared to what she said."_

"_She called me a worthless bum" he stated carelessly but she saw his brows furrow. The white paint covering his face still showed the thin hairs of his eyebrows that the black synthetic mask over his eyes didn't cover but they were there between the borders. She placed the beaker on her area of the table, fixing up her notebooks carefully to the side for her study. She gave him a sidelong glance and thinned her lips in hesitation._

_She faltered slightly and his eyebrow raised curiously in question to what she was struggling to say. Trying not to chuckle, she cleared her throat and explained to him in correction, "Lieutenant Sarugaki didn't call you a worthless bum, she called you a worthless __sponge__."_

_His normally impassive face broke and he exclaimed furiously, "A sponge?! That dreadful harpy dared to call me, the brilliant Mayuri Kurotsuchi, a sponge?! I'll show that dim-witted girl, I'll secretly poison her from the inside!"_

_Ruka sighed at his homicidal rant and stopped his hands from grabbing dangerous poisons with her own, pointing out sharply, "We just said we'd let Hirako be the new chew toy. We're going backwards, Kurotsuchi. Science only heads forwards while the imbeciles who mock it stay. . .well, idiots to put it mildly."_

"_You're a good one, Kyoraku" he muttered as he accepted her say, calming down and she let his hands go. He brushed a hand through his short blue hair and turned away to his side of the table. She could hear him mutter under his breath irritably, "A worthless sponge?"_

"_Please don't start the comparison between yourself and a sponge, sir" she stated and couldn't help but smile. His mind could shoot in a hundred directions until she or Akon snapped him out of it to focus on one subject. He did the same to her when she babbled, threatening to lock her away and using other colorful language. She took out a pack of gum from her sleeve pocket and offered with a smile, "Gingko biloba gum?"_

_He stared at the gum hatefully and snapped, "Gum doesn't help sponges!"_

"_Now you're playing into the game again, you're not a sponge, no one's a sponge, and this mixture is waiting to be observed" Ruka groaned tiredly, raising her voice, and put her gum away into her pocket for safekeeping. His amber eyes narrowed and she pushed away any nearby beakers he could grab and fling across the room. Giving him a sympathetic glance, she suggested, "Why don't you take a walk while I stay here and observe this? You're due for a break anyway."_

_Mayuri stayed silent for a moment, contemplating the idea, and finally gave her a stiff nod. Before he could rethink the idea, she ordered, "Walk. Relax. Re-energize. Flush out the hindrances and return back with exceptional ideas."_

"_That's exactly what I intend on doing" he said snippily and bumped into Akon. The small child tried to keep his small rack of vials from falling down as the scientist turned to shoo him away. Sharply, he reprimanded, "Blasted child, go away."_

_Ruka watched him leave through the entrance and sighed in pity, "He has no people skills whatsoever."_

_Akon hobbled over to her lab table with his experiment and sniffled with a small pout, "He stepped on my foot."_

_She ushered the child to come to her, her fondness for any child in the Seireitei always inclined her to help them. Ruka took him away to ice his little sore foot while the enraged scientist wandered the grounds. Akon always held a small spot in her heart since he was orphaned similar to her and he needed guidance in his first division. Kurotsuchi gave him compliments for his outstanding work and that was saying something coming from a quiet man like him. Ruka, however, gave him advice on anything he needed and made sure he was happy on any day._

"_We'll need to work on your dodging skills because when Kurotsuchi's walking, he'll plow through anyone without a care" she told Akon with a chuckle to cheer him up.  
(End)_

"That was a fun day" she said happily and wondered how the two scientists appeared now. Whenever she'd visited over the years, they'd been busy and she'd never had a chance to see them before leaving on another assignment again. The lack of traveling ached at her heart and she groaned, hating the sappy feeling. Somberly, she said aloud, "It's been a century since I've seen them. Little Akon's all grown up now, I bet. . .hopefully, Kurotsuchi's still not trampling him."

_Ew, I'm getting old_, she thought disturbingly. _But I don't look old so that's good. Hell, sometimes I think Kurotsuchi might've injected me with an experimental anti-aging serum while I wasn't looking._

She kept up her slow and casual stroll through the twelfth division as she kept observing the place. Her eyebrows shot up when she spotted human shinigami and others that looked. . .well, she hadn't seen anything like them before. She knew they were of human origin but they seemed to be modified by either genetic splicing or surgery. To be honest, they appeared like monsters from human folklores.

_I hope humans in their world don't think these shinigami are monsters, they do create outrageous stories_, she thought curiously and decided to keep walking, uninterested in the odd beings.

Soon, she stepped before the main building of the Shinigami Research and Development Institute and noticed the changes on it during the passing century. Apparently, Kurotsuchi had constructed many buildings beside it to expand his never ending quest for knowledge. She wondered who had her old station in the original building or if it still existed when she felt a familiar spiritual pressure from within at close range.

"Kurotsuchi."

She began walking into the building but halted after a few steps, reconsidering the action. After all, she and Kurotsuchi had not parted on the best terms the last time she was there. Could he really hold a grudge after a whole century?

_And it was entirely his fault anyway_, she thought firmly. _He knew what he was doing._

Hesitating, she wondered aloud, "I mean, it's not like he took a huge turn for the worse after one century. . .right?"

All that answered her was a gust of wind with flecks of dirt that flew over her face. She waved them away disgustedly and began to march into the building, determined to see the captain everyone was so frightened of. If he gave her hell, she'd do the same. They were two oppositely charged ions that gave each other hell but connected to give others hell when they partnered up.

"It's not like he turned himself into a fish monster" she justified outlandishly but a hint of nervousness still poked at her. After all, Kurotsuchi had been rather eccentric during her younger days. With a frown, she groaned depressingly, "Yet again, he did chop his ears off."

She felt his signature heading her way and she walked towards it to meet him. Good, he'd made the choice for her. . .typical. He'd done the same ages ago when it came to social environments she couldn't handle but she could stand up to people now. . .somewhat.

_Thanks to Rangiku's doing_, she thought proudly.

Sajin suddenly appeared before her and she jumped away in surprise, completely off-guard at sensing his signature. Great, just another thing she had to practice again: memorizing people's spiritual pressure. She pressed a hand over her chest to quiet her pounding heart from the abrupt arrival.

"Sajin, what're you doing here? You almost gave me a heart attack!" she asked confused and tried to peek over his side at the door of the building. Why'd he have to be so tall? He noticed her lack of attention and snapped his fingers in front of her face.

He crossed his arms and gave her a firm glare to point out in a parenting tone, "You have a meeting with Captain Hisagi. I will accompany you to make sure you get there on time. Your uncle sent me a butterfly saying you might make a break for the senkaimon rather than meet the captain."

"But- I'm not a baby! I can get there on my own, Sajin" Ruka argued huffily and crossed her arms to match his strict posture. Did everyone think she was going to run off and never be heard from again? Sure, that had been her first idea but that wouldn't haven been a good basis for captain-lieutenant relations. She frowned and assured him, "I wouldn't leave the captain there waiting for me and have him hate me on my first day. I was just heading there and got sidetracked."

The canine captain turned back to see the building she kept eyeing and shook his head to order sternly, "Absolutely not, there's a reason you left this place and you're not entangling yourself in that again."

"But I wanted to see-"

"I forbid it, Ruka" he refuted firmly and she narrowed her eyes at him. As her paternal figure, she'd told him everything regarding her time with the twelfth squad unlike her uncles and he'd always tried to make sure she wouldn't have direct contact with its officers again. He didn't want her reliving the past and have her happy disposition corrupted. With a non-arguable voice, he stated, "We are going to the meeting _now_."

She pursed her lips angrily but listened to him; even if he wasn't her captain anymore, he was still her father figure. And children always had to mind their parents or get scolded. Also, no one wanted to anger the tall captain and suffer his wrath. She gave one last look to the building and reluctantly followed his flash steps to head to the ninth division.

* * *

Ruka stood before the closed office door of the new ninth division captain and felt her palms begin to sweat. She hadn't opened the door and her nerves were starting to bite at her! Great, what if she shook his hand? He'd freak and think she was a waterfall or not strong enough to stand next to him as his second. What if he took her badge? She'd be without a rank and have to travel aimlessly through the streets of Rukongai as a beggar and-

"Ruka" Sajin interrupted her morbid thoughts and a whimper escaped her lips. She ran her fingers through her hair mindlessly as he released a small sigh, already seeing the signs of her nervousness.

He opened the door himself and simply gave her a gentle shove inside. Ruka yelped and stumbled inside, surprising the captain. . .who was apparently eating noodle soup. She blinked as she was caught off guard, expecting a strict captain, and Shuhei stared blankly, chopsticks in mid-air as he planned his next move. He lapped up one of the noodles dangling from his mouth and coughed awkwardly. This wasn't how he expected to meet his new lieutenant and didn't want her thinking he was a slacker.

_Renji's already betting I'll end up clinically insane in one week_, he thought dryly. _And I'm not about to lose my money or brain._

_He doesn't look or seem anything like the old captain_, she thought relieved but embarrassment gripped her. _What if he scolds me for ruining his lunch? It's better to be late than early!_

"Uh. . .hello" she squeaked out weakly as they both kept staring at each other. She pointed to his ceramic bowl and hastily introduced herself, "I'm Ruka Kyoraku, um, I see you're eating. I'll just come back later."

She turned around instantly to bolt but Sajin shut the door on her, keeping his grip on the doorknob from the outside to prevent her escape. She grit her teeth at being caged inside and yelled out, "Thanks a lot, Sajin!"

_I'm locked in here now, what do I do?_, she thought nervously and jiggled the doorknob for a hopeful escape. However, her strength was nothing compared to the seventh captain and she groaned mentally. _All that pep Retsu gave me is flying out the window!_

With a nervous smile, she turned back to face the captain and clasped her hands behind her back. Since she was stuck there, she might as well study her new boss and see if his personality complemented or clashed with hers. She really prayed for the first. His captain's jacket held no sleeves, similar to her uniform, while his hands were gloved-damn, she hoped people wouldn't think she was trying to copy his style. She had no time for irony at the moment. His zanpakuto rested on the desk next to his mounting paperwork and she knew that mountain would have to be tackled soon. His black hair was spiky, reminding her of Ichigo's, while his young tan face was covered in various tattoos and scars. The '69' tattoo almost made her laugh but she kept her cool, snickering in her mind about it. She remembered another captain with a similar tattoo. . .Kensei Muguruma. . .now he was an attractive specimen back in the day. . .

_Way off track here, Ruka!_, she chastised herself. _Now break the uncomfortable silence with a pleasant sentence._

Unknown to what she could say, she spoke nervously, "Noodles. Gotta love 'em. Did you know the Chinese were the first to invent them?"

. . ."Yes."

"Oh" Ruka squeaked out and nodded softly, her cheek flushing in embarrassment. She pointed to the bowl and mumbled awkwardly, "Just thought. . .I'd test you or something. I'm horrible when it comes to thinking about new topics of conversation. Did you know Japan originated their tattooing about ten thousand years ago? Oh!"

_Damn it, I'm just digging myself into a hole and he'll think I'm nuts!_, she thought miserably and covered her mouth to prevent any more verbal mishaps. _He'll probably feed me medication in my breakfast as a precaution from now on!_

However, the captain found the odd habit interesting as he watched her mumble under her breath. It was better to have someone entertaining than boring in his book and he needed a lot of help to balance out his new squad.

"Captain Komamura told me you babble when nervous but there's no reason to be" Shuhei told her with a smile and stood up to shake her hand. Ruka's eyes widened and she stepped back, wiping her hands on the back of her uniform hastily. Leaning forward nervously, she grabbed his hand to shake it and he smiled kindly, "As the ninth division captain, I welcome you to my quadrant, Ruka Kyoraku."

"So you won't poison my food?" she asked quietly and he chuckled good-naturedly at her paranoid question. Her hand let go of his and she wiped her damp forehead to say weakly, "I'm very glad to meet your acquaintance."

* * *

Shinigami Extras:

Rukia smiled sneakily as she opened up a wooden crate full of her Chappy charms. She'd paid the artisans in a nearby Rukongai village for the large boxful and she grabbed a handful of the tiny caricatures. Ruka poked her head over the petite woman's shoulder and smiled curiously, "So what're you going to do with them?"

"Easy" she said sneakily as pride glinted in her eyes and declared, "We will hand these out as we create the first ever Chappy Club!"

"You think Captain-Commander Yamamoto will allow it?" Ruka asked concerned, scratching her scalp as she raised an eyebrow towards the open box. She knew most societies approved were fancy hobbies like tea ceremonies or the calligraphy society. Would he accept one about a rabbit?

Rukia smirked and placed her finger into the air to inform her, "He approves most clubs and I sent him a huge crate of teas for him to try out. I think if he's happy with the innocent bribe, then he'll treat us nicely."

Ruka smirked and ruffled Rukia's dark hair with her hand, "I like the way you think, Kuchiki. Innocent but cunning."

* * *

**A/N**: _Okay, this chapter had been ready and for some reason, my computer decided to fritz out on me and I had to redo my whole editing process. I want to thank my last chapter reviewers, I love your feedback and I'm glad you like the shinigami extras. It's Bleach so I thought, why not add in some of their humorous orginality? Also, thanks to my readers, my little fic has increasing story alerts which makes me absolutely giddy! Hisagi will pop out in the next chapter since their meeting hasn't finished so don't fret Shuhei fans. _


	5. Noriko Stops The Welcome Wagon

CHAPTER 5

**Noriko Stops the Welcome Wagon  


* * *

**

"All right, you must excuse my eating frenzy" Captain Hisagi chuckled softly and Ruka simply nodded politely as she took a seat. He tried to straighten the paperwork over his desk to make it decent since he'd only stumbled in twenty minutes before to grab his lunch after hearing Renji brag nonstop about the captaincy perks. He'd only stayed for his friend's behalf but his stomach had been paying the price recently. The last thing he needed were stomach issues similar to Lieutenant Iba. Sitting down, he pushed his aromatic soup away with a depressing mental sigh before switching over to business. He gave her a smile and tried to explain his cluttered desk, "I've been in many meetings since my promotion to get the hang of things. You wouldn't believe all the tasks I've been given, I almost miss my old rank. I apologize for the clutter on the desk, it isn't like this regularly. I meant to clean it up but time passed on quite quickly before I had a chance."

"Yes, sir" Ruka answered respectfully and he raised an eyebrow at her proper tone. Wasn't she a mess of paranoid nerves only minutes ago? She blushed at the stare and added in nervously, "Sajin always says to be respectful to our elders."

He grinned amusingly and pointed out, "But I'm younger than you, Miss Kyoraku."

"Right you are!" she agreed embarrassedly with a stiff nod and flicked her index finger at him for the correct fact. Her head tilted to the side and she mumbled, "So it's kind of odd but aside from the age, I'll still respect you. I'm sure some of the captains are already calling you rookie or some other nickname so don't fear that I'll do the same. So. . .are they?"

"Yeah, they're calling me Suzu" he told her bluntly and she grimaced at the name indication. Little bell. For a moment, she imagined the captain running to all of the senior captains' errand calls in a maid getup but shook the disturbing image away.

"Look at the bright side, they're not hazing you in a humiliating public manner, sir" she piped up gently to cheer him up and he slumped in his chair to run his fingers through his hair subconsciously.

"I narrowly dodged a bright pink wig from being super glued onto my head today and by my own friend no less" he admitted with a tired sigh and she smiled slightly in both sympathy and sarcasm. A bright pink wig would've definitely brightened her day but pity won over. His casual manner amused her and she hated that the captain could be likable making it harder for her to disassociate herself from his squad. That would be challenging.

_I'm not here to like them_, she reminded herself. _Only work for them._

"I hope you'll enjoy your new position here with us, we're not that different from Komamura's division" he spoke calmly as he noticed the corner of her mouth frown and she nodded quietly. She wasn't about to hop loyalties instantly but the captain didn't seem so bad. Yet again, looks could be deceiving and for all she knew, he could turn into Tosen overnight and behead her while she slept and feed her corpse to the animals in Rukongai!

_Too extreme there!_, her mind warned her. _He'd probably fake your death and blame it on a training malfunction. He has crafty eyes and Sajin always said tattoos are for bad people._

Ruka then argued her own thought, _Then why does Iba have one? He's not bad and-_

"Ruka?" her captain's voice interrupted her thoughts and her back stiffened in attention. He assumed she'd drifted off into a daydream and he crossed his arms to await her response.

_I think I'm going to have my hands full with this one_, he thought observantly. _Maybe I should buy her a cat wand with bright feathers to keep her attention on me._

"Sir?"

He broke out of his thoughts and chastised himself for acting similar to her and spoke calmly, "Sorry, continue."

"My home has always been seventh and it will take a long time before I call this place 'home'" she stated simply and narrowed her eyes as she glanced through one of his open office windows. She hadn't even walked the grounds of her new division before the meeting and was glad Sajin had shown her the way. With sigh, she spoke gently, "I will try to adjust quietly to this but I can be a tad irrational at times so I will apologize beforehand in case of any future mishaps."

His eyebrow raised to what she could mean by 'mishaps' and she went on, "However, I am your lieutenant and I will follow your orders perfectly down to the last word to ensure the division runs smoothly as we both adapt to our new roles."

Shuhei nodded in approval, her mindset reminding him of his own, and told her assuredly, "We need to continue our peaceful times and I am glad to have you onboard, Ruka. I will need a full report on squad missions and training sessions every week and a monthly evaluation of squad leaders for starters. I will inform you on the rest once you settle in and a manual of your duties will be given to you for more in-depth information. You may have this week free to aid your move-"

She raised her hand, nodded respectfully, and replied coolly, "I assure you that I need no time breaks for my new rank, I am perfectly capable of performing these tasks. I'm pretty sure you don't need any more setbacks as you take on a heavier schedule and we both need to stay on track. I'm here to help, not slack off, sir. I will only need a day to move, I don't keep many things since I've traveled much of my life. I'm like a hermit crab, I only need a pack on my back to survive and cloister myself somewhere."

"Yes, I've heard you're quite proficient which is why Komamura recommended you" Shuhei stated with a satisfied smile and she lowered her eyes to the ground bashfully. Had all the captains agreed she needed to toughen up in her age? As if he'd read her mind, he told her, "I believe all of the captains agreed for the promotion but enough on that. I'm sure you'd like to begin the tour of the grounds to accustom yourself."

_He's a mind reader_, she joked to herself and nodded to his suggestion.

"That would be great, I'm pretty much lost in this division since I've rarely visited it" she admitted with a relieved sigh and felt lonely without her seventh squad members. She'd have to settle for peeking over the division border to see how they were doing during working hours. The captain gave a longing glance to his uneaten bowl and stood up to walk to the door to open it, motioning for her to walk ahead. She couldn't help but feel sorry for his disrupted appetite splurging as he sighed, "Ladies first."

She nodded in thanks and stated sympathetically, "I'm sorry about your lunch. You're a pretty good sport, most would probably be yelling from their hunger craze. I should know, I'm one of them. Yelled the hair right off of Iba one time!"

Ruka peeked outside as she passed through the doorway. She didn't spot Sajin and assumed he left, probably deeming it safe once she stopped scratching incessantly at the door. She followed the captain quietly as he took the lead in the tour.

"Er. . .thank you, Ruka" Shuhei answered hesitantly to her quirky comment and the two walked down the wooden sidewalk of the division offices. Ruka was glad to stay in the shade as a soft gust of wind trailed past them; she didn't like the sun.

_All it does is dehydrate and burn people_, she thought irritably. _Except plants, those little fellas love it. Why couldn't they love cloudy skies?_

She observed the grassy green grounds, the unknown open area giving her one of those cornered cat feelings. Great, even grass made her feel uneasy already! The captain gripped her shoulder and she tensed in surprise but eased once she knew it was him and not a stranger seeking her demise. Nervously, she told him, "I get extremely cautious in unknown areas. Traveler's instinct."

"Understandable" he nodded with a calm tone before she actually tried to punch him in the gut and the two walked around the captain's main building which was a pretty nice pad in her view. She could only guess his captain's quarters were fancy too if he didn't have another place to live at like Captains Ukitake and Kuchiki. He pointed to an adjoined office around the corner with her name printed on the doorway and explained, "That will be your office so we won't be far in case of incoming orders or paperwork. You can decorate it however you like, I hold no reservations on its design."

_I have my own office and I can do what I want with it?_, she thought happily and her mind worked its peppy neurons to create all possible interior designs. She scampered over to rub her fingers over her printed nameplate over the door and grinned excitedly. _And my name is in capital letters, this is exciting! I've never had anything initialed anywhere! It's hard not to hate my new boss when I have my own door. . .and an office._

She opened the door slightly and peeked in to find a room devoid of furniture except for a desk and a chair. Her lips turned downwards in a grimace at the empty lifeless office and knew serious work needed to be done. However, she spotted a nice large window with a view of. . .more grass. Not exactly what she'd hoped for but a good spot for whenever she was bored and trapped there. She smiled at the lack of paperwork surrounding the dark wooden desk and treasured the moment. Soon, she would be up to her ears in it while she struggled whether or not to hit the bottle.

"Good thing our paperwork isn't as bad as division ten" she joked lightly to ease her anxiousness and he joined her as well, lessening her tension with the response. If she kept up a good conversation, there wouldn't be space for mishaps and more awkward moments. She stuffed her hands into the pockets of her hakama to keep them steady and stop any random sweating.

"True but we run the _Seireitei Communication_ magazine so we must have each monthly issue ready here for publication" Shuhei informed her and she winced slightly. She'd have to prepare a magazine? What editing skills did she have? Sure, she wrote lab reports but her domain was to create with her hands not write about it. And what if her page design didn't fit in with the magazine's style? There were fonts and borders, paper size and color, paper types, images. . .her head was instantly jumbled by the influx of all the needed items for a perfect magazine and she resisted from pulling her hair in fear.

She also betted that he was more than joyous to hand over his old duties and she couldn't help but feel empathy for the ex-lieutenant. Shuhei noticed her fretful expression and chuckled, "It's quite popular but you won't do it all yourself, Ruka. Many officers work on this project and I approve everything before it's finalized in print. Lieutenant Matsumoto has recently proposed adding a fashion style section so we'll vote on that this month."

"What about technological updates?" she asked curiously, hoping someone already created something similar. Most subscriptions she had were to the Seireiteis with top scientific publications to keep up with the constant changes and usually had to borrow a multi-lingual translator to read them to her. During missions, she'd bought magazines from the Living World to satisfy her hobby for the lack of her lab/kitchen.

"None, the only article relating to the science/medical field is Captain Kurotsuchi's" he answered her and wondered if he was making progress with the reluctant woman. Her nose wrinkled slightly at his name and he asked casually to not rile her, "You two know each other? Your file stated you once worked under the twelfth division for seven years."

"I was Kurotsuchi's subordinate 114 years ago, three years under Captain Urahara and four under his lieutenancy" she replied flatly as she stared ahead and he nodded quietly, deciding to leave the question be.

_It's better to get along than have her glaring daggers_, he reminded himself and sighed mentally. _Women are always tough to decipher in conversations._

"Let's carry on then" he told her quickly to change the subject and showed her to the building next door used for the seated officers. It wasn't much different from seventh division's living quarters and the homesickness threatened to pull at her heart. She gave the building a quick half-hearted nod before walking away and Shuhei didn't notice her shorter form walking off. It took him about a minute or so to realize it in between words and he caught up to her as she observed the rest of the buildings with interest. He did not want to lose his lieutenant during his own watch and informed her, "If I am not here and you need help, the seated officers will help you. Your personal home will be near this area-"

"Is there a possible way I can have it in the outskirts, captain? I'd like to be close to the lower divisions" Ruka broke in gently with a hopeful smile as she turned away from the buildings, not wanting to be close to complete strangers.

_I don't need them to see me airing out my laundry and have a pervert take my undies_, she thought distastefully and tapped her chin at the possible scenarios with having new neighbors. _They come in varieties like candy; you can love one to death and choke on the other._

"I'm sorry, Ruka, but the lieutenant's quarters cannot be changed" he refuted matter-of-factly and she nodded quietly with a disappointed frown. Oh well, at least she'd tried. Now she had to introduce herself to her new neighbors and put in a good perfectly sane face for herself. He noticed her apprehension and clasped her shoulder to assure, "You will like it here, lieutenant."

"Will your division accept an outsider?" she asked meekly and slumped her shoulders as she awaited the answer. What if they refused her before she could speak? Or have her do impossible tasks for acceptance? Or-

"There are no outsiders within the Seireitei" Shuhei explained firmly and she listened quietly from her spot. His dark gray eyes turned to the sky and he spoke, "We are banded together here as one regardless of our divisions. We all went through the same procedures to reach our ranks and we will die as shinigami so there is no distinction. There have been many changes since you were last here, lieutenant."

_He's getting the 'Sajin wisdom' look_, she thought with a mental groan. _How am I not supposed to like one of his friends? Sajin always picks good ones. . .except Tosen, I laugh at his stupid decisions about justice but he's raising hell now in whatever plane his spirit died off to._

"Good changes, I hope?" Ruka chuckled nervously and smiled weakly in which he gave her a positive nod. She slumped her shoulders as her emotional shell broke slightly and admitted softly, "I apologize if I sound curt but. . .this is basically my next move to a home I'll remain in for decades probably. My trust always begins warily but I'll warm up and once I do, you're in my circle of trust forever. Ask Captain Kuchiki, he'll deny it but I've been the stupid lovable thorn in his side for ages. I've heard nothing but good things about you from the other captains and I will follow you as I have Captain Komamura."

"I'm glad to hear it" he said with a hopeful grin that he'd crack through her quiet animosity soon and she smiled softly at him. Footsteps approached them and Shuhei spoke up with a smile, "It appears two of my seated officers have returned from the world of the living. That reminds me, there's a lieutenant's meeting today if you wish to attend."

"Of course" she nodded eagerly and he strolled over to meet his seated members as they arrived. She noticed two young women; one dark-haired, one blond. She decided to approach them slowly behind Shuhei and was sure her captain would make her introduce herself to start things off. For some reason, she detected the slightest hint of the Ukitake friendliness vibe from him. That was never good for a socially awkward woman like her. She could see their faces clearly now and saw one was smiling and the other glared directly at her.

_Great, I'm about to be eaten_, she thought miserably.

"Ruka, this is my third seat, Noriko Tanaka" he introduced with a friendly smile and Ruka bowed respectfully but the other didn't return it. Yeah, this was going smoothly. At that moment, she wanted to dig a hole and fall into it to avoid the interacting. Shuhei crossed his arms and told her sternly, "Noriko, you will greet your lieutenant with respect just as she's done to you."

"Why is she our lieutenant? I'm the third seat of this division, it should've been me!" she hissed acidly towards Ruka and the older woman kept silent. Her jade eyes narrowed and she snapped with distaste, "Instead, a shinigami who barely stays within our Seireitei snatches it up like nothing!"

"Attendance and qualifications are different things, Tanaka" Ruka pointed out coldly and the other fumed. If the woman wanted a verbal battle, she would assert her position like an alpha wolf and crush the opposition. Sajin always taught her to stand up for herself without restraint against any enemy. Besides, it was much better than fighting it out physically anyway and the younger woman seemed ready to pounce. Simply, she stated, "If you lose, you take the hit respectfully and gracefully. I am here to stay and there will be no chance of appealing the captains' votes against me so either hop onboard the welcome wagon or get trampled because it's not stopping."

Shuhei raised his eyebrow at her and thought puzzled, _Welcome wagon?_

Noriko glared heatedly at her and the blond piped up peacefully with a smile, "I'm Azami Higa, seventh seat. It's nice to meet you, Lieutenant Kyoraku."

Ruka gave her a friendly smile and heard the other girl snort, "Probably got it for being a noble."

_Is she serious?_, the brunette thought and restrained herself from sighing in aggravation. She really didn't like grumpy people bursting her happy day and she needed all that she could today. _Unhappy people really ruin my buzz._

"Nobility has nothing to do with this, I never base my reputation on it" Ruka informed her sharply and narrowed her eyes to state, "Not that it's your business, third seat, but I have not been in my family's division in over a century, far longer than you've existed. If nobility carried such a hefty sway for me, don't you think I would be a captain by now? Double-check your facts before pointing them out next time."

The little rant left her relieved slightly but her brain still demanded comeuppance or maybe it was her zanpakuto; it was hard to tell both cranky sides apart. Just because a person had an aristocratic surname attached didn't give them the right of way on everything in the Seireitei. She abhorred people who did that and had taken some down a notch in her younger days while a young Byakuya Kuchiki complained at her lack of respect. Usually, she left him behind and had dragged Mayuri Kurotsuchi who was more than happy to test his experiments as they both laughed at the mayhem they created.

_Like that arrogant fifth seat from third that almost ended up coughed up his own stomach acid_, she thought amusingly. _Too bad the stomach didn't come along for the ride. How Mayuri made me laugh. Many can't say that about him._

"All right, ladies" Shuhei intervened to keep the peace in his squad and cut in between both women. Ruka simply crossed her arms to obey silently while Noriko snorted and looked away to the side. Only Azami gave them all a peppy smile and the captain sighed wearily, "Noriko, Azami, head to my office to give me your mission reports. Ruka, the meeting starts soon and I'm sure you'd like to meet the other lieutenants before then. One of the officers at the gate will give you a report to hand in to Lieutenant Sasakibe."

_Please let them get along before I'm dragged in against my will and end up joining their fist fights_, he prayed to the higher beings.

"What for?" she asked puzzled and hoped the paperwork wouldn't start yet. She hadn't stocked up on ink and would need to buy a caseload for the hefty work she was in store for.

"For the lieutenant meeting" Shuhei replied with a smile and gently pushed Noriko towards his office as Azami quietly followed. He gave a friendly farewell wave to his lieutenant and told her, "I'm sure the other lieutenants will fill you in."

Ruka bowed to her captain to take her leave and agreed politely, "Yes, sir."

She left without another word and flash stepped her route away from the division. Taking Sajin's directions from before, she couldn't wait long enough to get far away. Barely a day in and she already had an enemy! That wasn't a good way to start anything!

"Lieutenancy sucks" she groaned in self-pity but smiled slightly about her new door.

_Office, Ruka! It's an office_, her logic side reminded sharply. _The door is part of the office!_

"It's still a nice door" she mumbled to herself and wondered what this meeting would have in store. The last thing she needed today was to piss off half the lieutenants.

_My luck can't be that bad, can it?_, she thought nervously.

* * *

Shinigami Extras:

Shuhei fixed his second bowl of soup to finish off his dinner course and leaned in to smell the chicken flavor from the broth. His mouth practically watered as he placed his spoon into the liquid and raised it to his lips. He needed to eat quickly and head to another meeting, meaning more paperwork and wasting whatever free time he had stored.

Before his mouth could touch it, his door was knocked upon and he slammed his forehead against his wooden desk. Couldn't he get a little peace and quiet for ten minutes?

_It's all I'm asking for!_, he yelled mentally and groaned. _I'm already going to miss my sake night with the guys!_

"Being a captain bites right now" he mumbled tiredly and called out through clenched teeth, "Come in!"

Raising his head, he placed a napkin on top of his bowl and watched Rangiku stumble in with a folder under her arm. She threw it on the desk and he opened it lazily, peering in at a bunch of photos of Toshiro Hitsugaya. Most were of him lying idly, sleeping, doing paperwork, yelling at the camera, and. . .

_I'm not going to ask how she managed the naked shower picture_, he thought appalled and shoved it behind the rest before his eyes were tainted. _And it's illegal for publishing!_

"I thought you might want to run a column or collage on him, the young ladies of Seireitei have raised his popularity recently!" she said proudly, smiling as she took a glance at the pictures too. She added in suggestion, "And it could boost the magazines ratings."

Shuhei sighed and said coolly, "I'll keep it in mind for a centerfold. Maybe next month, Rangiku."

"You better or they'll be hell to pay" Rangiku stated threateningly and he raised an eyebrow in surprise to her tone. In a whisper, she admitted nervously, "I spent half the budget on a shopping spree and I really need the cash to both replace and hide it from the captain when the budget bill comes in. I can't die prematurely, Shuhei! It's not good for anyone!"

"Special mid-monthly edition?" he offered warily from the woman's glare and he knew better than to anger her. The last time he underestimated her, he had ended up outside drunk and naked as the day he'd been born. The whole thing had begun with his comment on her wearing too much lipstick and the rest was a blur.

_People still talk about that_, he shuddered mentally.

"Thanks, Shuhei, you're the best!" she giggled and ruffled his hair before leaving happily.

* * *

**A/N**: And thus, their meeting ends and the chapter might seem short but I guarantee the next one will be longer. I would've posted this one sooner but I've fallen in love with the film 'District 9' and I can't seem to stop watching it. A big thank you to my reviewers, I appreciated your comments and yeah, Ruka will be seeing more of Mayuri Kurotsuchi but his entrance isn't for a while; even then, the two will be at each other's throats. Meanwhile, Shuhei will probably grow bald from too much stress and new job anxiety (just kidding).


	6. The Mad Scientist & His Goo

CHAPTER 6

**The Mad Scientist & His Goo  


* * *

**

"Ruki!" Yachiru cheered happily, smiling widely as her kitty sunglasses rested on her nose. The bottom rims hid the corners of her huge smile as she hopped over to hug her legs tightly.

"Missed me already?" Ruka chuckled delightfully and grabbed the child so she could climb onto her back. Yachiru wasted no time to mold herself against her friend's shoulders and gave her a thumbs up from behind to show she was done. The brunette pinched her pink cheek gently and cooed, "It's okay, I missed you too."

"Now that you're a lieutenant, we can spend lots of time together" she said brightly and grinned. Her small hands gripped her shoulder tightly as she leaned in to whisper naughtily, "We should paint Baldy or ask Byakushi for candy! With you here, my plans can cause panic!"

"I'm sure Byakuya is still recovering from the coffee attack" she said with a light chuckle and spotted Nanao as she entered the meeting room. She quickly scampered over to her best friend and looped her arm through hers to wail, "Oh, Nanao, it was horrible! I've never felt so alone in ninth and I have an enemy. I don't like enemies within my sleeping area, I get paranoid and tend to set traps."

_And what if Captain Hisagi steps in one?_, she thought anxiously. _I could kill off a captain depending on the dangerousness!_

"You're always paranoid so no traps" her friend replied with a satisfied smirk and Ruka gasped humorously. She kept walking as the shorter woman tugged on her arm and Nanao sighed, "Your family genes have the weirdest qualities. I wonder if any of you are classified as normal sometimes."

"Does that mean you won't be Aunt Nanao to my future children?" she chirped innocently with a small pout and Yachiru laughed from behind. "My adorable nonexistent children that will create mayhem as Aunt Nanao yells?"

"Yeah, my mini-me army!" the girl declared proudly and Nanao sighed again, wondering how these two survived their days together.

_Better yet, how we'll survive their combined forces_, she thought worriedly. _I actually feel pity for Captain Hisagi right now._

"So what do we do in the meeting?" Ruka asked excitedly, changing her sarcastic tone to formality. Her eyes wandered over the small room that held two rectangular tables and a podium at the front center. Some lieutenants were already seated and she noticed they were marked according to division, two through seven at one table while eight through thirteenth sat across from them. She showed her a thin folder and told her questioningly, "Captain Hisagi gave me this to hand in to Lieutenant Sasakibe."

"We have reports to turn in at the start of our meetings which are then given to Captain-Commander Yamamoto himself" she explained and showed her own folder as the other nodded. Nanao guessed she hadn't read her manual yet and had come to the meeting directly without skimming through it. She decided to give her nervous pal another freebie, "We speak on the ongoing missions and news within divisions to stay updated with one another."

"Oh, sounds easy" the brunette smile at her little enlightenment and settled into the seat marked for her division. Her fingers touched the back of the wooden chair where the insignia was carved and cooed in intrigue before Nanao smacked her hand and made her turn around. She whined and held her hand against her chest as she frowned at her friend. Noticing Iba across the table, her face lit up and she waved dramatically, "Iba! How's it going? Do you miss me already?"

"You've only been gone a few hours!" he barked at her, hoping she would pipe down, and she rolled her eyes at his sharp tone.

_Everyone's so serious today_, she thought grumpily and crossed her arms with a frown.

Nanao tried to pry Yachiru off her friend's shoulders but the girl's grip was airtight and she warned the child lightly, "Lieutenant, you need to take your seat so the meeting can begin."

"I'm using Ruki's seat through her" she justified smartly and smiled slyly to herself. Her body tried to hide behind the lieutenant's and she pointed out with her innocent pep, "It still counts."

Sasakibe saw the carefree child's attempt to break the rules and pointed to the eleventh chair to order, "Take your seat, Lieutenant Kusajishi."

"I don' wanna!" she pouted defiantly and jumped up to wrap herself around Ruka's head like a hat. Ruka's eyes widened at the new weight focused on her spine and she leaned back in her chair to support the child. Yachiru's hands wrapped around her forehead as her legs dangled over her shoulders to steady herself.

"Jeez, girl, are you deaf?" Omaeda snapped at the girl and she closed her brown eyes to stick out her tongue in insult. Ruka knew the girl wasn't about to go anywhere and smiled at the group.

"I'm sure she won't cause any trouble" she insisted calmly as she slid her folder next to the pile Sasakibe had on her table corner. She took out a notepad and pencil from her uniform to take her notes and glanced at the other lieutenants with a friendly smile, "Sorry if I didn't introduce myself, I'm Lieutenant Ruka Kyoraku of ninth."

"Kyoraku? You're one of the good families" Omaeda spoke up in her direction and she fought the urge to grimace at the comment. He was the kind of person Mayuri had enjoyed torturing just for kicks while she had wrapped her arms around him giddily to see the results. He smiled smugly and told her, "You should learn who the wealthy families are around here and become friends with us rather than. . .well, others like Lieutenant Kusajishi."

"I'm perfectly capable of finding my own friends and you could take a lesson in humility from the less fortunate, lieutenant" she responded tightly and slid a piece of candy to Yachiru. The girl began to gnaw off the wrapper as Ruka gave him a fake wide smile to say, "Just a thought."

"Wait, were you the one who ruined my captain's uniform?" a young light-toned man with fine black hair tied at the nape of his neck demanded and Ruka simply feigned innocence. She could see the boy was Kuchiki's new lieutenant and could only wonder what this new officer brought to the division.

_I hope he's worse than Abarai to ruffle Byakuya's feathers more_, she thought impishly.

"No, you're thinking of another Ruka" she smiled innocently as she took a sudden fascination with her blank notepad and the boy glared at her evasion. Oh, how she enjoyed joking with people. Too bad Kuchiki wasn't one for that anymore.

Rangiku stumbled in through the doorway with a big smile revealing her pearly white teeth and she asked sweetly to the group, "Am I late?"

_That smile has broken many hearts_, Ruka laughed in her mind at her friend's ability to change anyone's mind with just a flash of her smile.

"No, we've just been sitting here doing nothing waiting for the moment when you'd grace us with your heavenly presence" Iba answered her sarcastically and she smacked him over the head with her fist. He held his throbbing head in pain and yelled out, "Damn it, Matsumoto!"

"Men don't speak like that to ladies, your mother should be ashamed of you" she snapped offended and went to sit between Ruka's seat and Yachiru's empty seat. Some members of the group hid a couple of snickers as Iba massaged his head but said nothing. Rangiku smiled at Yachiru and patted her head, "Hello there. Love the sunglasses."

She then leaned in sneakily to whisper to Ruka, "If I fall asleep, lean forward and cover me."

"You got it but if Nanao finds out, I'm dead" she whispered back and winked at her friend before turning back to face the second lieutenant at the podium.

"Could we please start the meeting?" Izuru asked tiredly, ready to start the whole thing so he could finish it and head out for his other duties which held more interest.

And so, the meeting began as Yachiru stayed attached onto Ruka's head, twirling her friend's strands of brown hair and making braids out of the others. Meetings were extremely boring to her and it was always hard to keep herself entertained. It was either eat or fall asleep since no one let her touch their hair.

_I wonder if Kenny will let me braid his hair_, she thought musingly. _It's much longer than Ruka's and his braids would be so cute!_

Ruka scribbled precise notes on the meeting as each member took the floor to speak but she skipped her turn since she was new. Also, she needed to prove herself and paying attention to every detail was a sure way for bonus points in her favor. As they reached the recent news update, Sasakibe cleared his throat loudly and looked at her directly to ask, "Lieutenant Kyoraku, could you _please_ stop scratching your pencil as it is very distracting."

She raised her head startled, looked at her troublesome pencil, blushed when she saw every pair of eyes in the room aimed at her, and placed it down quietly. Great, she'd made another booboo and she could see her bonus points flush down the toilet. Shyly, she asked Sasakibe, "Aren't we supposed to take notes? I mean, I'm sure my captain would want to know about it."

Sasakibe gave her a small smile for her enthusiasm but shook his head to answer, "Though the idea is generous, there is no need to take notes during our meetings. Your captain is caught up on all the details from his own meetings with Captain-Commander Yamamoto. In our meetings, all you do is sit, listen, and participate."

"So I just wasted seven pages for nothing?" she sighed tiredly and raised her arm the next second to angrily hurl the notepad at Omaeda. The object struck him in the face while he was stuffing his mouth with food he'd brought and almost choked on it. She crossed her arms and slumped in her chair to mutter irritably, "All that writing for zilch."

"What the hell did you hit me for, woman?!" Omaeda demanded angrily as he shoved her notepad aside and she gave him a lazy stare as he coughed.

"Eating during a meeting is very disrespectful plus the fact that you could stand to lose a little weight and share your food with the others is also a reason" Ruka said lightly with a teasing jab and shrugged to say casually, "But mostly it's because you were the biggest target and I wasn't going to hit Izuru."

The third lieutenant hid a snicker as the other man wiped his mouth but a glare from the burlier man made him stop. Izuru shrugged lightly and lied, "I was hiding a small cough. It's been chilly today."

Yachiru giggled from her perch and asked the second lieutenant loudly, "Can we go on now? Fatty's weight problem isn't important."

Rukia shook her head at her friend's outburst and hid a giggle, transforming it into a cough. Sasakibe simply resumed the meeting and Ruka folded her hands neatly as she had during her days as a student in the Academy, listening to every word. However, as time passed, she noticed most of her fellow colleagues were growing tired and restless by every little detail Sasakibe mentioned. Omaeda had resumed eating, Yachiru had braided half of Ruka's hair, Rangiku had fallen asleep, Momo and Izuru had started passing secret notes, Isane had started playing with the long strands of her hair, and Rukia had started daydreaming about her Chappy drawings. Only Nemu and Nanao remained listening perfectly as they sat upright, their eyes barely blinked making Ruka stare at both to see who would lose first. It was the only thing she could find amusement with and focus on since writing in her notepad was out of the question.

_Oh, I think Nemu, no, wait. . . .yes, she's-no, almost close!_, she thought as she watched them but saw that neither was relenting. _Wow, they're really good at not blinking. They should compete in staring contests while I take bets._

Nanao noticed her friend's wandering mind and jabbed her in the ribs, ripping her attention away and back to the meeting. Ruka's elbow accidentally nudged Rangiku and the blond simply mumbled incoherently before sleeping again. She glanced lazily at Sasakibe as her eyes glazed over so she could be in his line of vision but occupy herself with her mind.

_Oh, this meeting is so boring_, she thought agitatedly, her legs aching to walk somewhere. _It was better when I was writing, I always have to be occupied in something or else I go off into imagination land. It's so boring that I'm actually talking to myself!_

_Hmm, _she wondered and decided to prod her zanpakuto mentally. _Monosugoikaze, you there? Answer me, you sluggish sleeper! Your partner needs you for personal entertainment!_

She received no response and guessed he was either ignoring her or most probably, still sleeping without a care.

_Why do I have such a lazy fella?_, she groaned mentally. _Byakuya's listens to him in an instant! He could chop me down and my zanpakuto would still be sleeping as my dead hand clings to the hilt!_

Ruka kept her eyes on Sasakibe and tried her hardest to stick to his every word but most of the news, she'd already read in her captain's report. Any new tidbits had already been stored in her brain from the other lieutenant's comments.

"And with that subject closed. . ." Sasakibe went on and Ruka thought the meeting would finally finish, her fingers inching to push herself back from the table at any second but she almost sobbed publicly when he went on, "We move on to the next squadron of division 5."

_This is almost as annoying as the non-stop sticky goo project gone horribly awry_, she thought and decided to focus on that.

_(112 years ago)_

"_Drop the tablet inside" Kurotsuchi ordered simply as he scribbled into his notes and Ruka hesitated with the direction. He gave her a small irritated glare and snapped, "Is there a problem, Kyoraku?"_

"_Are you sure it's just one, sir? Not half?" she asked indecisive and stared at the white round tablet in her hand. She'd stayed up last night to cover every aspect of the experiment and contemplated, "I could've sworn-"_

"_We've checked the trials and they've been perfect" he pointed out and pushed a round container full with a green liquid substance inside. The tablet would add solidifying qualities to the project that would make it a good trap for catching speedy Hollows or a good structural cement. Either way, it would be multi-purposed. He stabbed his finger towards the container and ordered sharply, "Drop it in."_

"_Yes, sir" she said simply and dropped in the tablet obediently. She crossed her arms and waited for it to solidify but decided to check up on her favorite little guy. Walking over to Akon, who was across the room, currently performing his own trial on a separate experiment causing her to smile at the adorable child. She patted his shoulder as he worked and asked gently, "How's it going?"_

"_Good so I don't think he'll yell again" he said with a proud smile and she chuckled._

"_I think yelling is his way of saying he likes you" she tried to rationalize and jumped back when said scientist snuck up behind her. She held her arms up in defense and cried out, "Jumping jackrabbits, you're going to scare me to death!"_

_Jeez! He pops out of nowhere!, she thought in alarm. You'd think he was in the 2__nd__ division with his silent steps._

"_Yelling is never complimentary, it is to correct the incompetent and possibly activate whatever sleeping neurons their brain still contains" Mayuri stated grimly and she slid away from the table with a nervous smile to turn around and return to hers. She really hated when he sprung up behind her to impose in private conversations with his superior tone._

_Last time, I almost spilt acid over him, she thought in dismay. You'd think he'd learn from that._

"_You could be nicer, we are your main team after all and Akon is very bright for his age" she told him and stopped walking as she spotted their lab table. Her eyes widened and nerves took over her body as she reacted involuntarily. Retracing her steps back quickly, she bumped into Mayuri and pointed to the table to snap, "See? I told you! Now our table's ruined and so is the experiment!"_

"_Why must you overreact over the simplest of things?" he scoffed derisively and walked over to the table covered in a semi-liquid green residue. The green substance had grown out of its container and continued to seep out over the table and onto the floor. He opened one of the clean drawers and pulled out a spray bottle to spritz the contaminated area. Grabbing a paper towel, he told her arrogantly, "You simply wipe it off after you decontaminate it. It's not that hard, even typical buffoons can do it."_

_He swiped his hand into the stuff and his brow twitched slightly when he found his hand stuck inside the mess. Giving it a good yank, the goo didn't release his hand and his brows furrowed. With an irritated sigh, he asked her with eerily calm, "Would you mind helping me remove my hand from this botched experiment?"_

_She walked over to him and tugged at his sleeved wrist. Why hadn't he listened to her in the first place? She had a good mind to match his. Her blue eyes narrowed and she warned him, "I told you. Why do you always think you're right?"_

"_Because I'm vice-president and much older than you, half-pint" he shot back bitterly and found that their combined strength couldn't free his painted hand from it. Ruka gave it several tugs and stopped when she had to catch her breath._

_And this is when I call it a serious situation, she thought annoyed._

"_I'm sending a hell butterfly to the captain" she stated simply and turned around to leave but he yanked her by the neck of her coat. If it was one thing he couldn't stand, it was his captain's superiority over him. He hated to be corrected by others and Ruka mostly took the projected rants after their meetings. It was hard to like Mayuri Kurotsuchi but damn it, she tried. The first year had been murder as she tried to get on his good side and realized that he had no good side. So the two opted for a passive-aggressive relationship but even that could erupt on her part. They were like a Ph scale, his personality was acid and she was base; despite her ability to buffer his behavior, the neutral center just couldn't be achieved sometimes. The other institute members had even drawn a Ph scale depicting their faces as acid and base. Ruka had laughed at it but Mayuri dissolved it by dropping real acid over it from one of his beakers._

"_Mayuri!"_

_She struggled in his strong grasp and pushed his taller form back, pressing his backside against the goo dripping off the table and sticking him there like a fly. She pointed at him victoriously as he thrashed around wildly and exploited, "Ha!"_

_Too bad adhesive's been invented or we could've nabbed it, she thought amusingly. But the look on his painted face is priceless._

_She turned to leave smugly and tripped over her own feet a second later. Her face landed head first onto the tiled floor and she felt a sharp pain shoot up her nose. Groaning painfully, she sat up to see her shoes were stuck in the experiment and she quickly tore off her socks to escape the mess. Mayuri simply glared at her rotten luck and demanded, "Get me out of here or I will have you scrubbing beakers till you're 400!"_

_Ruka smirked and laughed haughtily, "Yeah, that sounds really threatening from my angle."_

"_At least my face isn't deformed" he insulted snidely and she glared instantly._

"_You're one to talk, you wear cones on your missing ears" she snapped back and noticed the large puddle on the floor. It hadn't been there before. Deciding it wasn't time for critiquing appearances, she asked warily, "Is it just me or is it growing?"_

_Mayuri then decided it was time to break out from his impassive shell and kicked his legs out, hoping it would get his coat unstuck. Ruka laughed at his movements until he roared at her, "Get me out of here this instant, Kyoraku!"_

_She stood up quickly to grab his free wrist and yanked down his sleeve causing him to yell furiously, "What the hell do you think you're doing?! Exposing me for further humiliation?"_

"_I ought to gag you" she muttered and ripped off the white lab coat until it reached his covered left wrist. Luckily, it was the only part of his uniform attached to the goo and she praised the heavens for not having to rip off anything else. Popping open one of the drawers at the bottom, she grabbed a small knife and tore a hole in the sleeve of his white coat. She ripped the fabric to the last seam until he was free and she stared at his stuck hand, "One problem down so what about this one?"_

"_I'm not calling Urahara" he hissed acidly and she stabbed the knife into the goo. He tensed for a minute thinking she'd aimed for his hand and saw that she'd been testing the product for tear but it simply sucked in the knife into its depths. Through clenched teeth, he corrected himself, "Maybe we should contact him."_

"_Your best idea all day" Ruka sighed in relief and nodded to him quickly. "I'll be back and you. . .stay right there."_

_He grabbed her by the shoulder and questioned skeptically, "You won't forsake me here to suffocate by this embarrassing blob of goo?"_

"_Of course not, sir" she assured honestly and poked his white cheek with her finger to tease playfully, "But if you do, we could call the end result 'Kurotsuchi's Chewing Gum'. Wouldn't that be morbid and cute to preserve your memory?"_

"_Kyoraku!" he shouted and made a grab for her throat but she jumped back from his reach._

_She gave him a small witty laugh and heard Akon's voice bound up to them happily, "I finished the project, lieutenant. Look!"_

_Both of the older scientists eyes widened as they turned to face the cheerful child and yelled frantically, "Don't step in the-"_

_Akon slipped over the sticky substance on the floor, stumbled as his feet stuck into it, threw his experiment into the air, and slammed headfirst into the other two. Mayuri let out a furious yell that had Ruka's ears ringing as her back collided against his chest and Akon stuck onto hers as they all fell to the floor. The child saw his ruined experiment in broken shards over the goo and released a wail of failure; his masterpiece dwindling into nothing as the goo swallowed it. He didn't even care as the green goo dripped from the table onto his back and bawled his eyes out._

"_Akon, don't cry" she soothed the child, stroking his black hair. She hated to see him upset but who wouldn't be after their prized work was destroyed before their very eyes? Giving him an excited smile, she offered, "Look at the bright side, you'll be the last to be eaten by the blob."_

"_This is not funny in the slightest sense, Kyoraku!" Mayuri yelled heatedly from below them and tried to wiggle his sticky fingers but couldn't pry them off the floor. The weight of both scientists on him weren't making it better either. He clenched his jaw and snapped, "We're going to die by a non-sentient abomination!"_

"_At least we'll die like true scientists, that should be exciting!" she said perkily and shrugged her shoulders but it only managed to pull her long hair. She groaned and rested her head against Mayuri's chest to frown, "My hair is ruined if I live through this. I'll probably look like you."_

"_You are a hideous girl, Kyoraku" he hissed at her through clenched teeth and glared at a sniffling Akon over her shoulder to scold, "Child, stop your crying before I burn off your tear ducts! You're a boy, not a girl!"_

"_If I get reincarnated, I hope I'm a wolf so I can maul you like a rabbit" she retorted dryly for his insult to the child and both growled at each other. Akon simply stayed quiet and let the older scientists have their feud._

_Eventually, Captain Urahara found them and was able to use a tougher fluid to destroy the semi-liquid substance before Mayuri's face was completely covered and closed off his air supply. Mayuri was relieved when the weight of Ruka and Akon lifted off his body and he glared at his amused captain to state bluntly, "This isn't what it looks like. It was Kyoraku's project entirely, I was merely a casualty."_

"_You liar!" the sticky woman shot back, opting to give his knee a kick while he was still down. It was the only time she could attack without receiving retaliation and she would take it. She pointed to Mayuri and explained to the captain, "He read the directions wrong and caused this catastrophe!"_

"_Mayuri, are you trying to frame young girls for your blunders?" Urahara mocked playfully and crossed his arms. "That's not very scientific of you."_

_The younger scientist then yelled out furiously and clawed at the ground to unstick himself before the serum worked to free him. Ruka then decided to make her hasty exit through the closest doorway to escape the enraged man and take three consecutive showers to untangle her hair._

_(End)_

Ruka mentally shivered at the memory but couldn't help but chuckle softly at Mayuri's young face glaring and stomping off to his personal quarters, forbidding her to ever speak of the incident after it happened. He couldn't bear having his scientific reputation tarnished and had burned all their records for that specific day to make sure of it. It may have been a little extreme but for the scientist, it classified as normal behavior. He'd also declared he'd kill her during dinnertime for pinning the rightful blame on him but he never made true on his word. Instead, a few months later, the two had become a secret romantic couple despite their frequent squabbles.

_How I loved him_, she thought warmly. _Maybe I'll see him soon once my schedule's clear._

"And that concludes the meeting for today" Sasakibe finished and her eyes widened in horror that she'd daydreamed her way through it. Her captain would kill her now (possibly) if she wasn't up to date on everything. The first lieutenant glanced around the room and asked, "Any questions?"

Ruka raised her hand and asked meekly, "Could I have my notepad back? I apologize for flinging it at you, Lieutenant Omaeda."

The husky man simply threw the small notepad at her and she caught it before it struck Rangiku's sleeping head. Ruka placed the pad into her uniform for safekeeping and nudged the blond, who instantly shot up and wiped her mouth.

"I didn't do it!" Rangiku called out instantly but was ignored by the crowd as they began to gather their things. She wiped her half-open blue eyes and sat up tiredly to yawn.

"Is it over?" she asked sluggishly and Ruka nodded in response. She stretched as the lieutenants began to file out of the room and groaned softly, "I need a sake break."

Ruka craned her neck as Yachiru finished braiding and twisting her hair into a bizarre creation. She knew her hair would be frizzed as a result to the tight braids and hoped Sajin had a good handy conditioner she could use. Nanao could only shake her head at Ruka in disappointment and scolded, "Ruka, you can't go off into your dreamland when you're in a meeting. You have a tendency to spout nonsense from your thoughts and I doubt you want that as your first impression."

"That's why I was writing so to give you peace, I faded off" she pointed out desperately and stood up sluggishly to yawn loudly, "Seriously, I need to walk this. . .it's been two hours?! It's already past lunchtime!"

"That's how long they last" her friend replied calmly to her outburst and Yachiru patted the top of Ruka's head sympathetically. Ruka felt faint at the idea she'd be spending two tiresome hours there every week and almost pulled at her braided hair. She wasn't made to last through tedious events and knew her personality would embarrass her there sooner or later. Nanao sighed when her friend's face drooped and lectured her, "Be serious on this or I may tell your uncle about it. He's already proud and keeps bombarding me with the news nonstop ever since you arrived. I'd love to take him down a notch but you're my best friend despite the annoying relation. You can't slack off as a lieutenant or you could be evaluated, Ruka."

She groaned despondently and clung to Nanao's arm to plead, "You can't do that. That best friends forever junk people spout about is supposed to mean something! You break a rule, I cover. I blow up a building, you cover."

Nanao rolled her eyes, tapping Ruka's head with one of her hidden fans, and stated with a smile, "There's a huge difference between the two."

The two women filed out as Yachiru jumped down to hop alongside them. Ruka stretched her arms to soothe her shoulders and neck from the added weight Yachiru had given. For small kid, the pounds added up after a while and she wondered how Zaraki handled her on his shoulder all day. She wasn't about to bulk up to his size and shuddered at the thought of it. It was satisfying to be short and petite despite the immature taunts she'd received during her years in the Academy and a shinigami. Byakuya hadn't helped either with his height and Nanao had surpassed her while being younger.

_One day we short people will inherit the world!_, she declared mentally and nodded to herself as Nanao stared at what was going on inside her head. _We will be too fast and evasive for them and they will be our footstools!_

Nanao yanked Ruka's uniform behind the neck before she wandered off in her own world literally and figuratively. She led her over to a wooden board outside the meeting room's walls and pointed to a paper pinned there. Ruka simply stared lazily at what had intrigued her friend and Nanao told her, "We have clubs here besides the Women's Association if you want to attend one. You'll be here from now on and I know how much you hate staying in one place without doing anything. It worries me sometimes but then I remember it's you so I'm okay with it."

Ruka was up against the board the next second and read down the list with an eager face. Her eyes traced over every society and she didn't glance back at Nanao as she spoke aloud, "Once I finish the captain's tasks, I can do whatever I want with my time. . .outside ninth division. Oh! Byakuya has a Calligraphy club, who'd a thought? I'll join that just to see the look on his face before he attempts to chase me out. Let's see what else. . .Retsu's flower arrangement- no way! She does instrument lessons too! She's so awesome and uncle Jushiro won't give her the ring _why_? I'll tell you about that later. Oh, Rangiku has a dance class. I always pegged her for the one to go to a club and talk her way through it. Isane has yoga, excellent! Isn't squad four just splendid? Hmm, I don't like tea, that's more of a Byakuya thing so that won't do."

Nanao simply blinked at how fast her friend was talking, understanding half and the rest was lost to her. She walked up beside her as Yachiru poked her head in between to look at the board too. Warily, Nanao questioned, "Isn't that a lot of hobbies to take up?"

"I need to keep myself occupied or else I'll be daydreaming who knows what! I was already starting to watch my own memories as one of those human television shows" she scoffed and dismissed her friend's opinion. Her mind could go miles a minute and there was nothing wrong with having hobbies that would take stress down a bit. She loved learning new things and it was better than sitting down at home with a bored frown as you scratched your butt for personal enthusiasm. Laughing at the image in her head, she gave Nanao a smile to compliment, "I don't know how you keep your mind in one place, Nanao, but I'm a non-stop workaholic without the alcohol."

"Workaholic doesn't mean you're a drinker" Nanao sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose to stop any upcoming headaches caused by the brunette's strange logic.

Ruka gave her a Cheshire grin and teased, "I know that, Nanao. Drinking totally ruins my buzz since it's a depressant to the system and I can't have my pep ruined. It's what defines me."

_Crazy also happens to define you_, Nanao thought amusingly but kept a firm face.

"You should fight, Kenny, he takes the energy outta ya!" Yachiru piped up to both women, pushing herself between the two to gain attention. Ruka instantly grabbed the girl into her arms and cuddled her as Nanao sighed depressingly.

"No one in their right mind should fight that man at all" Nanao pointed out sharply and Yachiru stuck out her tongue out at her. She wondered what manners the violent division taught the young girl but was sure they weren't many.

Rangiku popped up from behind the women and wrapped her arms around them. Cheerily, she asked with a grin, "So who's up for a ladies night? My treat."

"I don't like drinking, Rangiku, I'm a lightweight" Ruka frowned weakly and the blond squeezed her fondly.

"Don't worry, you'll be able to walk home" she assured with pearly smile and Nanao shook her head in objection. Whenever Rangiku was involved in drinking, she'd get you hammered to the point you couldn't remember your own name. Nanao remembered a time when Ruka had called herself Mother Shabubu after three shots of hard liquor. She didn't want a repetition but Rangiku smiled encouragingly, "You too, Nanao. I'm sure Kyoraku would be more than happy to see you tipsy."

_Yeah, to try to charm the hakama off me_, the lieutenant thought dryly but kept her impassive face as Ruka laughed.

"We are most definitely **not** attending" Nanao stated firmly with a nod and pulled Ruka away as she cried out her hair was caught within her hand.

"Nanao, you're gonna make me bald!"

* * *

Ruka stumbled through the dark Seireitei at nighttime as she headed towards her quarters in squad seven. Her tipsy condition was the result of forcefully being fed beer by an ecstatic Rangiku while Nanao had tried to escape the scene but failed. It had been a happy after dinner snack get-together at the bar until Rangiku had brought in a caseload of liquor to the their table and declared a game of 'Pass the Pitcher'.

Each person took their turn sipping from a full beer pitcher for as long as they could without taking their lips off. Once it emptied, the person who had gone before paid for the next round as a result for leaving excess. Poor Nanao had screamed at them for tricking her into it but had bought it to honor the agreement. All the women present had to agree that Nemu had taken the win when she chugged half the pitcher before letting go and releasing a burp that shook the entire room. Momo killed the mood but made them laugh when she hurled right onto the table on her third take. Most of the women that had gone with them were wandering the Seireitei at that very moment drunk off their asses.

"Sweet. . .Sweet h-home" Ruka slurred as she tried to focus on her home but tripped over her feet as she hiccupped drunkenly. The darkened grassy hills and homes weren't making it better on her blurry vision and she had a hunch that two identical hills hadn't occupied the front of her home before.

She then decided to crawl up to her quarters through the grass, giggling through the intoxication. It was much easier to imagine one's self through a recon mission rather than be lost in the dark and roll down the hill. She heard muffled barks up ahead and minutes later, she felt a wet tongue licking her face.

Ruka didn't bother on pushing the salivating tongue away and grinned goofily, "Goro. Did. . .did you come to get m-me? Me? Meeee. . ."

She took a fascination with her slurred words as Goro bit into her sleeve and tried to pull her up. The poor dog couldn't do much for the inebriated woman and settled on a few whines to encourage her. After a few more pulls, Ruka gave up and just lay on the grass on her stomach and sprawled her limbs to lie limp. The extra energy needed to be conserved and she was just plain tired to continue. Goro tilted his head, letting out a few yips, and lay himself down next to her. Ruka simply fell asleep within minutes with her ex-captain's pet beside her on the grass. A few feet ahead contained the steps leading to her home but she was too tuckered out and the double vision wouldn't have helped.

* * *

Shinigami Extras:

"Woo! This is the best night of my life!" Ruka cheered and raised a quarter full beer pitcher into the air. Her blue eyes were vibrant as the alcohol fueled her energy and she exclaimed, "This is almost as great as the night I lost my virginity to-"

"Ruka!" Nanao scolded loudly and smacked her friend upside the head with her empty snack plate. The plastic plate broke in two over Ruka's head and she threw it to the floor to hide it. The brunette almost lost her grip on the pitcher as she cried out in pain. She quickly handed it to Rukia to keep the game going and massaged her throbbing head. Unlike Ruka, Nanao had given the game a half-assed attempt to keep herself sharp and watch over the other women. She leaned in to order her friend with a sharp whisper, "Behave yourself!"

"Why? This pitcher- give it here, Rukia" the brunette spoke up as the alcohol flooded her system and the other lieutenant handed it over once she finished her round. Rukia's head then slumped over the table for her much needed break as Ruka held the pitcher and declared to Nanao, "This pitcher gives me the absolute right- no, the _privilege_ of making a complete ass of myself!"

"She wasn't kidding about being a lightweight, was she?" Kiyone asked the mortified woman while Nanao tried to grab Ruka as she stood up from her seat excitedly.

"Who wants to see me dance?!" she exclaimed to the whole room as Nanao tugged on her uniform desperately and the shorter woman received positive responses, mostly from the male population sitting by. Rangiku had a jolly expression on her face while her cheeks flushed pink and she watched the two to see where this would lead. Ruka slurred in her words and held up her hands, "Okay, okay, hold on, Nanao! I'll get the door in a second!"

"That's not what I-" she cried but was cut off.

Ruka dragged on with poor Nanao attached to her back as she stood before her group of women and explained, "This is a dance I learned in Germany, mostly the guy choreography because the steps for the ladies just weren't my style. Now, it goes a little something like this!"

Nanao had expected her friend to start a provocative dance but instead, her jaw dropped to Ruka slapping her thighs goofily and creating precise foot movements with her legs as she swung each back and forth consecutively. The crowds stared in a deadpan expression to the woman's odd drunken folkdance and Rangiku declared with disappointment, "That's not sexy drunk, that's weird drunk!Nanao couldn't help but laugh when Ruka began the tap dancing procession using her soft sandals as she twirled around and fell down flat on her back from the dizzying effect a second later. Her feet, however, kept dancing in mid-air despite the lack of a floor and she cheered drunkenly in German, "Felsen an, Bayern! Yeah!"

* * *

**A/N**: Thanks for reading and please review. Thanks to my last chapter reviewer: _LovingBlackParadise_, to your review, Ruka's plain kooky with Byakuya while he remains a statue which just makes me laugh. Hisagi and Ruka won't have a romantic fling whatsoever but she'll grow to love him like a little brother as she evolves from her dislike of squad 9. And Mayuri, well, we'll just see what flows from those two *snickers*. Okay, now the readers can know that too in case they wondered.


	7. Shuhei's Unfortunate Generosity

CHAPTER 7

**Shuhei's Unfortunate Generosity**

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Komamura gave a stern expression to his previous third seat as she devoured her oatmeal ravenously, shoving whatever food she could reach with her fingers into her mouth. He'd never seen anyone eat so much and wondered if he'd accidentally taught her to clear the table since he always instilled in her to never throw food away. On the other hand, she wasn't the size of Omaeda so he didn't worry. Ruka was constantly on the move and never remained idle for long so the calories melted off. The heavens knew he tried to keep her still but her personality would never allow it. His clawed fingers tapped on the wooden table and waited for Ruka to swallow the food so he could get in a word while she gulped for air in between bites. Her head pounded painfully but she'd taken medicine to get over the hangover from her previous rowdy night.

_Darn Rangiku and her persuasive words_, she thought pitifully. _She's way smarter than everyone gives her credit for._

"Ruka, respectful ladies do not sleep out on the grass drunk off their behinds" her caretaker lectured firmly and she gave him a sad pout. Unfortunately, those innocent looks stopped working decades ago. His yellow eyes narrowed and he scolded, "That look doesn't work on me. Drinking is not good for your health, Ruka, and it has many serious diseases linked to the consumption of it."

"You don't tell that to Iba and he drinks every day" she pointed out with a snort and Sajin had to admit his lieutenant did drink more than a person should on an average day. However, his main concern was the little shinigami he'd watched over for decades and would make sure she walked an honorable path. Ruka simply smiled humorously at him, "What can I do? Drinking is in my genes, look at my uncle. He drinks until he passes out and no one gives him a fine! He should be bankrupt by now. Can't I slide through this one? I didn't hurt anyone or blow up anything."

_I think_, she added in thoughtfully and shrugged. She'd know it sooner or later. Gossip spread like wildfire in the Seireitei.

"No, the last time you drank, I had to pry you off the Kuchiki grounds for believing the captain was being chased by and I quote 'monkey Hollows with spears'" Sajin told her in dismay and she groaned embarrassedly, not wanting that memory to surface. Unlike her uncle who was a happy sleepy drunk, Ruka was a disoriented angry drunk.

It took two weeks before Byakuya let her visit him again in case she tried to _protect_ him from invisible beings. She then called him a sissy for being afraid of her and was promptly kicked off the grounds by his guards. The grass stains took weeks to come out from the butt of her uniform and was laughed at by other squad members. Seeing him prance around in his tight crisp clothes meant payback time in her book. After all, they were friends and friends could prank, right? In revenge, she and Yachiru built a catapult in the seventh division and collected a week's worth of garbage from the other divisions. With perfect coordinates, they sent a trash ball flying into the Kuchiki manor to land before the porch where Byakuya had his daily morning tea. Needless to say, Ruka spent the whole day hiding from the murderous sixth captain- his face had been sprayed by one of Retsu's used salve bottles. . .which he was allergic to and caused his face to break into hives. She'd almost made it to her comfy bed to sleep but was caught just before lifting her covers when he'd scared the pants off her by popping out of her closet. In her pajamas, she was forced to clean off every odorous piece off his land until he deemed it perfect. Sleepless and cranky, she prepared for the new day at dawn with bloodshot eyes and presented Byakuya with a nice bouquet of cherry blossoms for breakfast as a peace offering. When he asked where they were from, she simply answered they were from the best trees in the Seireitei and flash stepped the hell out of there. Byakuya then noticed a few hours later that one of his trees had been chopped down to a stump. The prank war ended when Byakuya screamed her name throughout the Seireitei, scaring everyone that the stoic captain could be so loud and Ruka finally stopped because she _was_ afraid of the deadly quiet captain but proved her point to never back down from a challenge.

"But you have to admit, I was loyal to him. . .despite my inebriety" she piped up proudly and he glared her down again. Wow, he really could be frightening but she knew he'd never lay a paw on her. She sighed tiredly, leaning back into her chair, and crossed her arms to compromise, "Sajin, I admit I shouldn't have gotten carried away but I landed a few yards from my home. It could've been worse by sleeping it off in Rukongai. I came back safe and sound, besides, I'm more likable to cause devastation while under the influence."

"_Matsumoto_ is a bad influence" he warned with a fatherly jab of his finger and she pouted, feeling like a child all over again. True, she did come back drunk when she hanged out with the buxom beauty but it was in good fun. The captain pointed out the same thing she'd been thinking except without the pep, "Every time you spend time with her, you come back either drunk or half-naked!"

"She's a free spirit, like me, and we've been friends for almost seventy years" Ruka stated happily with a shrug and mentally chuckled at their meeting.

_(68 years ago)_

_Ruka frantically sorted through the cosmetics aisle in one of the stores in the Rukongai districts. Byakuya had sprung a last minute party for families of nobility and her uncle ordered her to go while he would arrive later. Apparently, if he had to suffer through the arrogant drawls without alcohol, so would she. It would be in a few hours and she had no idea on how to look presentable. Women in high society knew all about fashion and beauty but she held squat in her brain on that topic. Hell, she barely wore makeup and the last time she had, it was probably fifty years ago on a date with Mayuri. His name brought up memories, both fond and upsetting, but she shoved that topic aside. No time for that. She had something else to focus on right now and she needed to solve it quick!_

_Or else I'll be the laughing stock of the Soul Society, she thought with panic and pulled at her long brown hair. It was bad enough I demolished three buildings for one Menos years ago and I finally managed to erase it from people's minds!_

_Her eyebrows raised as she scratched her head to say aloud, "What the heck is the difference between foundation and powder? Pressed Powder? Loose Powder? Finishing Powder? Lip gloss? Lipstick? Lip liner? Oh!"_

_She picked up a small black pencil and read the label with disbelieving eyes, "Eye liner? How the hell do you line your eye with this? This looks like something I'd use to write with! Damn you, Kuchiki!"_

"_Need help there?" a light peppy voice piped up behind her._

_Ruka turned to see a young woman with medium-length wavy blond hair, clear sky blue eyes, and a big smile placed onto her face. She couldn't help but smile back and sighed tiredly with slumped shoulders, "I'm no good at makeup and I have absolutely no idea what to buy. Any tips? I'll take anything!"_

"_This is your lucky day because makeup is my game" the stranger giggled and introduced herself proudly, "I'm Rangiku Matsumoto."_

"_Ruka Kyoraku" she smiled amicably and hung her head desperately, "I need all the help I can get."_

"_Hmm, first we need to pick your skin color for foundation and then we can head to the eye shadows to pop out those sapphire's with a dark eye liner. . ."_

_Ruka could only nod like a bobble head to her suggestions since she knew absolutely nothing about the cosmetics world and trusted the happy blond. At the party, she was deemed the most elegant from her family and laughed, knowing all the help came from not one of the top makeup artists most rich families hired but a friendly girl from the Rukongai district. From that day on, Ruka held Rangiku as her savior in anything makeup, hair, and fashion._

_(End)_

"Ruka, stop daydreaming" Sajin broke into her mind bubble and she groaned loudly to the interruption.

"Technically, it's not daytime, this would be morningdreaming" she corrected jokingly and tapped her chin thoughtfully to ponder. Her scientific mind analyzed every little object, word, and person until it was broken down to the basics. As if connecting the dots in midair, she spoke aloud, "But that would just tie up your tongue so maybe that's why people kept it 'daydreaming'. Hmm, I should research that while I'm on break-"

"Ruka!"

She winced to his tone and her palms began to sweat as she blurted instantly, "Sorry, I babble when nervous and you are very intimidating, Sajin. You rank up there with Zaraki and Byakuya, very scary. Couldn't you just tell me my punishment before I blab out worse embarrassing things?"

"No partying with Matsumoto for four months" was his reply.

Her mouth dropped open to gawk and she protested, "But she _always_ invites me. She's my friend! And she gives me freebies and only friends of Rangiku get freebies in the towns."

"Consider yourself lucky that I don't cut off contact" he responded firmly and she gave him a small glare. It was tough to discipline the outgoing and dare he say, troublemaking girl, but he was the authority figure in the household. Captain Kyoraku had ensured his niece to his care and he wouldn't fail. . .even when she rebelled. "Ruka. . ."

"I'm not a child, I'm a grown woman" she defended softly, hating to be minimized, and his gaze softened. She didn't want to be all uppity and have that arrogant air many of the high class aristocrats held. She wanted to be an everyday wacky woman that no one was concerned about bettering. Waving her index finger in the air, she pointed out, "Just because I _may_ have the attention span of a child-"

"Ruka, you're very bright and I lay down virtuous rules so you turn out respectful and wise" he stated with that fatherly tone again and she smiled lightly to his concern. In her imaginative mind, she basically saw Sajin making his ideal Ruka out of brown clay to mold her perfectly to his liking. It was pretty much what everyone did when they lectured her: Sajin, Nanao, and Byakuya. Bless Retsu and uncles Shunsui and Jushiro for being the nice ones. Crossing his arms, he added in hopefully, "One day you'll do the same with your own children."

"I can't even take care of a pet, much less a child" she joked with a goofy snort and returned to eating her lukewarm oatmeal. What a funny concept. When she was first placed in Shunsui's care, she'd asked for a puppy to cheer her up and keep her company while he was away. The captain instead bought her a little yellow bird but as an eager child, she wanted to pet it as it sang and opened the cage door to only have it fly away through the open window. Shunsui settled on training her by giving Ruka a pet rock to see how things went. Hours later, Ruka mindlessly threw the rock into a lake nearby as she and Byakuya skipped rocks across the water after class. She told her uncle the truth but assured the rock had a great demise since she'd chucked it at kids that teased her about it.

With a last muffled giggle in remembrance, she promised him, "I'll tell Rangiku I can't go out because she's a bad little girl and I must keep my goody-goody ways."

"That's all I ask" Sajin chuckled to her joke and ruffled her hair in which she cried out.

"It took me an hour to finally curl out my ends" she groaned in defeat and ran her fingers through her hair. It looked miserable and damaged (well, the fire had done that) as it lied limp and she hated it. She'd try the dry pincurl technique to see if it would boost up the volume. Anything was welcome! Ruka flicked away her half-curled ends and sighed desperately, "I need to ask Byakuya how he keeps his hair so slick and neat. It practically has its own natural shine! He can battle without ruining a single strand, that's the hair of a god right there! Mine is a monstrosity compared to his. It's not fair that a man like that looks so good while I can't. Why wasn't I born a man? Then I could watch Byakuya's daily routine without being a stalker. I could steal his products and run off before he notices."

"Ruka" he warned her pondering blabs as he rubbed his temples and she smiled cheekily. Sometimes, she forgot she could cause headaches with her ranting.

"Sorry, I'm worried since I have to begin my move today" she mumbled weakly and stood up to give his large form a hug, her arms going around his neck since his shoulders were too wide. She could hug him all day due to his plush fur and the nerves about moving went away slightly. Ruka grinned and told him, "Wish me luck. I'm having Nanao, Rukia, and Yachiru over to help."

"That little Yachiru is turning out to be a bad-" he started in another lecture but she cut in to argue.

"Don't start, Sajin, she's _way_ younger than me!"

* * *

"Move that box, Ruki!"

"Close that box, Glasses!"

"Pick up those bottles, Ichi Girl!"

Rukia turned to Yachiru, who happily sucked on a purple lollipop on Ruka's bed, and sulked with a pout, "Ichi Girl? I get a name based off Ichigo? Ichigo's nothing without me. . .if he had no powers, I mean."

"Let me rethink" the little girl said and tilted her head in thought. Rukia could only blink as she wondered what ran through the mind of that tiny troublemaker. It was best not to dwell on it. Finally, Yachiru spouted off names, "Mini-Kuchiki? Snowflake? Tiny? Smiley?"

"How about Chappy?" Rukia asked flatly and Yachiru pondered. . . .still pondered. . .and. . .pondered some more before finally deciding,

"Yea!"

_I'm never having kids_, Rukia thought in dismay and picked up the box at her feet.

Ruka stared nervously as her clothes, science projects, and furniture was piled against one corner of her living space. She was moving out of her home of many decades to an unknown place. Sure, she was all right when she traveled to foreign Seireitei's but seventh division would always be there waiting for her when she returned. It was permanent and it was home. This time, there was no return. She was stuck in ninth division and she would stay there permanently. What if there were loud yokels next to her? Or late night partiers? Or annoying neighbors? She'd turn into the old next-door nagger and be Byakuya! Oh no!

Nanao wrapped her arms around her friend's tense shoulders and eased, "We'll be in eight waiting for you in case of anything. It'll be okay, Ruka. If not, you can stay with me and I'll tell Captain Kyoraku."

"I don't want to move" she sniffled quietly and held onto her best friend. Well, at least she had Nanao as a consolation prize. Sure, she wouldn't be as fluffy as Sajin but the two could talk till sunrise about anything. Squeezing Nanao's arm, she mumbled darkly, "I don't want power or promotions, I just want to stay with my family. If I wanted that, I'd be stupid Aizen in the dust now."

"Dust ball Aizen" Yachiru giggled from her perch and waved her lollipop like a wand. "The spiritual maggots can eat him speck by speck!"

Nanao gave the child a wary glance before assuring a scowling Ruka, "We're all family and I'm sure Captain Hisagi's happy to have you join. You'll get to travel and have fun here in the Seireitei with us. You can't hide forever in this room."

"I like being unknown, it makes me crafty" she muttered sullenly and walked over to sit on her bed next to Yachiru. She held her head in her arms and groaned, "I'm going to die over there."

"Stop being melodramatic" Nanao scolded lightly and Ruka shook her fist at her to silence her. The younger woman rolled her eyes and sighed tiredly, "And childish."

"You're the grim one, I'm the peppy one" Ruka dismissed casually and stood up, sucking down every fiber of dread in her body. She'd deal with that later. She clapped her hands and ordered, "All right, girls, let's go back to work. If I'm having a mental breakdown, it's going to be in my new place and at their charge for my bills."

"You have us nearby" Rukia smiled with assurance and brushed her short strands behind her ear to keep them away from her face. The brunette didn't seem convinced and she added in hastily, "If anything happens, I'm sure Captain Hisagi will take very good care of you."

"Ew, that sounds dirty" Ruka burst out laughing and Nanao whacked her on the head with one of her many hidden fans. She held her head from the blunt force and cried out painfully, "Nanao, it was a joke! He's so not my type and way too young."

"I forget you prefer them crazy like you" she joked dryly and Ruka scoffed as she rubbed her sore head. Nanao could hit like a boxer and wondered how her uncle managed to not get a concussion every day. The brunette gave her a small glare for the pain throbbing in her cranium but let it go for the sake of arguing once more.

"I'm not insane, I'm quirky with no reason for logic, that's a _totally_ different thing!" she smirked dismissively and Nanao decided not to debate her childhood friend. It was a battle were common sense didn't exist. Nanao was used to handling such situations when they arose. To rile her best friend further, Ruka asked one of the empty corners, "Isn't that right, invisible Chappy? We have loads of fun exploding the hell out of stuff! That's how Byakuya got that koi pond. It was a huge crater but Chappy and I fixed it, we certainly did, and now it's all prettied up. He wanted an ugly fountain but we said 'no, no' and voila, he has a nice little pond to meditate in! "

Rukia burst out laughing to her one-sided chats and told the others, "I could listen to her all day. This is great live entertainment."

"She has a babbling problem" Nanao growled in exasperation but Ruka didn't take the bait as she continued to fake her conversation with the fictional rabbit. She grabbed a sock from one of the piled up open boxes, balled it up, and stuffed it into Ruka's mouth. The brunette let out a muffled yell of complaint and she smirked in satisfaction, "There. All better."

Yachiru pointed at Ruka and laughed in exploitation, "Sock mouth!"

"Back to work" Nanao ordered them firmly and they groaned in reluctance. Ruka spit out her sock and plucked out lint that stuck to her tongue with her fingers.

_We need to find a way to get rid of lint on clothes_, she thought distastefully. _Gross, my mouth's a cotton ball!_

Rukia grabbed a large wooden crate next to the closet that reached her waist and tugged at it. The object didn't move much and the petite woman sunk her nails into the wooden edges to tug it out. The box didn't budge past a foot causing her to fall on her butt from the pulling and her head landed beside Ruka's feet. She groaned from the fall, cursing the box, and looked up at the other woman to ask in frustration, "What the hell is in here?"

The brunette turned towards the crate and scratched her head, milling over the contents, and shrugged, "I don't know. I put stuff anywhere over the years, I kinda forget about it. Nanao let me borrow a hair clip thirty years ago and I only gave it back a few months ago."

"No wonder Captain Kyoraku never let you have a pet" the taller woman stated dryly and Ruka stuck out her tongue in defiance. Nanao helped Rukia stand up as the short woman rubbed her backside, muttering about lifting weights soon. Yachiru laughed at the image of a testosterone pumped Rukia manhandling Ichigo and fell over the bed in giggles.

"I keep telling you, it was Byakuya's fault! He made me throw the rock!" Ruka insisted about that incident and crossed her arms huffily. She remembered it like yesterday just like every memory since she lived with her uncle. With a snort, she told them, "It wasn't fair, he got a puppy and I got a stinkin' rock! He got his face licked while I could only stare at mine. He still makes fun of it in that quiet mode of his, intentionally kicking rocks or pointing them out just to piss me off. He gets off on that kind of stuff now-"

"Ruka!" Nanao called for her attention before the sister of said captain went into laughing hysterics. She pointed to the crate and ordered, "Focus on that."

"I didn't finish" Ruka whined to protest, stomping her foot adamantly on the floor, and Rukia nodded in agreement since she wanted to know too. The brunette always told interesting tales, most were filled with embarrassment on her part and somebody else. She cleared her throat and nodded to them as Nanao growled but continued, "As I was _saying_, I blamed him for losing my rock. I knocked a kid's eye out with it between classes but I wanted a pet. That was the whole point of the pet rock. So Byakuya, being the nice guy that he was back then and I use that lightly, bought me two fish in exchange for doing his homework for a day. He sucked at shunpo which is why Yoruichi taught him but he'll say otherwise. So I took his lesson and he sipped his little fancy drinks in his fancy little chair until I got my fish. I was pretty happy and named them after us. Unfortunately, Ruka ate Byakuya and a cat broke in and ate Ruka during my classes. It wasn't a good end for any of us, except Byakuya who got a freebie. He always gets freebie 'cause he's pretty. I want to be pretty too!"

"Mayhem just follows you everywhere" Nanao said simply and the brunette nodded giddily. Her friend never changed but Nanao was pleased, she could've ended up doing worse. A simple look at Captain Kurotsuchi gave her frightening insight to what Ruka could've been and thanked the higher beings for breaking them up. She was pretty sure a heart attack would've been imminent to both her and Captain Kyoraku if Ruka popped in wearing white makeup like a skeleton and wild hair in a crazy fashion while wearing a wedding band. Ruka was notorious for dodging and partaking in insane things but Nanao was there to set her straight.

"We haven't even finished and I'm already having the best day" Rukia grinned as she tried to hold back her giggling but couldn't. She never heard embarrassing stories about her brother, seriously, no one could imagine him doing such things! And no one dared to ask such questions either if they wanted to keep living. Nanao shook her head to Ruka's antics but it was better to have her happy than a nervous paranoid wreck.

Yachiru sat up as the giggles left her and pointed to the crate to declare, "That thing's big, Ruka! Can we open it?"

"Yeah, let's pop it open and see" the other said with a enthusiastic grin and motioned to Yachiru, the master opener of all things in creation. Everyone in the Seireitei knew the little bubblegum pink child was barred from nothing and could come and go undetected. Ruka was sure she could end up being a pro in the second division. Bowing down, she declared dramatically, "If you may, master."

The pink-haired girl gave a toothy grin and ripped open the wooden crate with ease despite her tiny size. She threw the top aside and peered in to see what awaited her curious mind. Nanao could only wonder what they taught that child in the eleventh division. Had they begun teaching bodybuilding to kids? All three women looked inside to find. . .

"Clothes?" Rukia said flatly and furrowed her brows in surprise. That huge thing was filled with clothing? She pouted and mumbled depressingly, "_I_ was brought down by _clothes_?"

"Shinigami outfits from other Seireitei's" Ruka informed brightly, patting the sulking woman's shoulder, and smiled, "I'm sure you'll give a sack of clothes a good thrashing next time, Rukia. Anyway, it would've looked weird if I was the only one wearing a different uniform and I like working behind the scenes, not like an abroad shinigami. I used them during my stays there and saved them in a crate. I guess they pile up over the passing decades. Good thing it wasn't a dead body or my face would've been red."

"Do you hear yourself talk?" Nanao sighed, bordering between finally laughing or yelling, and her friend simply smiled goofily. Was she to be forever intertwined with the Kyorakus silliness? Maybe one day Ruka would marry someone with logical sense and her captain would knock his head on the cement and pick up some sense. Then maybe their crazy antics would end. . . .but she highly doubted it.

Yachiru picked up a bundle of the different outfits and smiled at the vibrant, pastel, neutral, and monochrome colors, sizes, and styles. She could use these for everything ranging from costume playing to role playing! Her brown eyes widened at the possibilities and she shouted, "Let's play dress-up!"

"Lieutenant, we're here to help with the move" Nanao reminded and Yachiru stuck out her tongue while picking an outfit to try on. Her small hands patted several frills at the front of a round neckline and pulled at little shiny beads at the button areas. What an odd uniform.

"I want dress-up!" she rebutted firmly and Nanao feared a temper tantrum (which she wasn't trained for) but Ruka patted the little girl's head to calm her down.

"I think we can handle it while she plays" Ruka allowed easily with a smile and the little lieutenant grinned happily. Nanao and Rukia breathed in relief because once she started yelling, only a pile of candy would cease it. Yachiru began to dig in the crate, almost falling into its depth to pick the perfect outfits for dress up. She grabbed one that had white fur sewn on the sea-foam green collar, sleeves, and hemline, holding it up curiously and the owner answered, "Used it in Iceland. Beautiful place but it gets chilly as you travel up north. My Zanpakuto hated it, he prefers the windy and mountainous regions with rain. He's so picky, sometimes I think he's plain chicken. Not like me though, I'm fearless."

"Dolls?" Nanao pointed out blandly and Ruka jumped in fright, blue eyes shooting alertly in all directions. If there was one thing she didn't like, it was lifelike dolls from resin or porcelain. Heck, even plastic or wood if it was done correctly.

"Where?!" she shouted frantically and reached out to grasp a broom nearby. Raising it into the air, she declared manically, "I'll send those heathens to the underworld!"

Nanao yanked it from her grip before she smacked any of them and snapped, "I just said the word, put the broom down! There's nothing here."

"Don't scare me like that" the brunette shot back and shuddered, clasping her hands over her chest. She couldn't bear to look at one without running from a room. Raggedly, she breathed, "Ugly little things. Their eyes just follow you, it's absolutely eerie. It's like they're watching you but you don't know it. I swear I saw one look at me once!"

"Is this another traumatization caused by Byakuya?" Nanao sighed, knowing her childhood friend's fear of the dolls. Personally, she loved playing with hers but whenever Ruka spent a day with her, she made Nanao lock them away for safekeeping. Once, Ruka didn't even sleep when she refused to lock up her favorite doll and woke to find Ruka rocking herself as she watched her doll in a blue dress from across the room vigilantly.

"No, he actually saved me from your room since he was a dude so I let him practice his shakkaho spell on any I found" she smiled proudly and waved her hands to point out dismissively, "And he once chucked one at me after he mimicked a demonic voice but that was days before I was scared and. . .that bastard! I told you he was crafty!"

"And it took you this long to realize that? I mean the phobia, not the other part" Nanao stated, shifting her eyes to the nearby window. Everyone in the Seireitei knew not to speak ill about the sixth captain, he had a tendency to overhear conversations when you'd least expect it. He gave her a citation years before on library hours and she'd complained about it to her captain, bashing the sixth captain, without realizing Captain Kuchiki had come in to speak to Shunsui on another matter. Nanao never uttered a squeak with his name ever again for safety measures.

"So I'm a little slow on personal development, you can't blame me after all the explosions I've been in" she evaded grumpily and lifted her chin proudly. Whenever Kuchiki was concerned, she'd compete incessantly to beat him in any field. She lost most of the time but it didn't stop her. Byakuya didn't care though as long as she improved and showed her hidden skills. Pressing a thumb on her chest, she stated confidently, "I'm excellent in Seireitei matters so that's what's important. In the end, I will accomplish all my little brain maps and scare Byakuya with his worst fear-"

"Stop bothering the captain, I heard about that incident where he was sprayed with a sticky liquid" Nanao cut in sharply and Yachiru giggled innocently from her corner. Ruka simply gave a Cheshire smile and she sighed, "I'm not even going to ask. Seriously, Ruka, stop pestering the man before he puts you in jail."

"He won't, I know that for a fact since he's had years to do so and I'm still alive!" she laughed triumphantly with a mad twinkle in her blue eyes. Despite their opposite personalities, he was her longest friend and she was his. Still, she declared, "Byakuya Kuchiki has nothing on me. . .except the power part. . .and the good looks part, and shunpo and- damn, what do _I_ have?"

"A babbling problem" Nanao replied dryly and the other woman glared at the letdown. The dark-haired woman smiled slyly and asked innocently, "What? You asked, I answered."

"Rukia, let's keep working, shall we?" Ruka said aloud, changing the subject and letting Nanao win the round. She loved their little quarrels and wrapped her arm around the other woman's shoulder to drag her to another corner.

"So what is my brother's fear?" Rukia whispered curiously and Ruka chuckled evilly. The young lieutenant knew if she wanted tidbits on anyone, Ruka would have them or get them via Rangiku or Yumichika, the biggest gossips. That's how she found out Renji got a tattoo on his butt for his first battle as captain. She and Ichigo still haven't stopped laughing about it privately and before the redhead.

"Mmm, can't tell you that yet or he really will kill me" she laughed sneakily as the other frowned to the classified information but assured, "It's a humorous fear, not a crippling fear. If he tries to kill Kurosaki again, then I'll give it for free. That kid's saved the world and your brother still can't cut the guy some slack. I'd cook a meal for him if I wasn't afraid I'd put him on fire accidentally."

"That shouldn't be long then" the younger Kuchiki sighed despondently, knowing both of the men's clashing tensions, but smiled at her humorous words. She was never depressed at Ruka's side unlike other members of her squad or others that could be downers. Being a Kuchiki was hard enough and finding good friends was rare.

_Is that why my brother keeps their friendship alive? I've never seen him with friends such as Ruka_, she thought in wonder and her eyes widened when Ruka filled a box with thick books to the brink that it overfilled. _Definitely doesn't have a friend like that._

Nanao began to take down paintings on the walls and Ruka quickly warned with a jabbing finger, "Careful with my babies, Nanao, they're fragile. But leave the Chappy poster, that will remain here."

"Why?" Rukia asked with a curious tilt of her head and knew no one with their right mind would leave a beautiful Chappy poster all alone.

"Chappy has a hefty surprise in store for somebody" she smiled deviously and gave a sly chuckle. No one would take her old rank without her having the last word or input, in this case. All of the Seireitei would hear or more likely, see it by the end of the day. Nanao simply shook her head and stayed out of it, the less she knew, the better. It was the way the Kyorakus ran things, covertly and innocently but always efficient. She placed a painting inside a wooden crate and Ruka called out, "Gentle with the babies!"

"I thought your experiments were your babies" she pointed out, placing another painting, this one of a sun lit lake with surrounding trees, in a crate to join others. Yachiru skipped over without tripping over the large uniform and peeked inside to see the colorful paintings.

"Silly, those are my newborns while the paintings are the kids- hence, the babies" she laughed wittily to her little joke and Nanao let out a long exasperated sigh, threatening to clean her glasses; a habit when she was irritated to the brink. Ruka quickly screamed out, "No! Nanao, not the evil eye! Please!"

* * *

"Pump those legs, Chappy!"

"Move the desk slightly to the left, Glasses!"

"But-"

"Move it!"

". . .jeez."

"Ruki, clothes go over there!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

The four had finally moved everything into the new lieutenant's room and were fixing the furniture and boxes. Mostly, Yachiru yelled out the orders as an overseer while they did the work but the women managed. It only took a few trips back-and-forth from each division and people could only stare as the women carried large bundles too heavy for their slim frames. Whenever a male approached, Ruka practically bit their heads off about not being needy damsels in distress and pointed out equal rights. Nanao could only haul her away before she caused a public ruckus and got Captain Hisagi in trouble.

Ruka packed her boxes of clothing into a corner in straight columns to fill the closet later (and occupy her time) while Nanao was in charge of furniture which she absolutely hated. Just because she was the tallest didn't mean she was the strongest. Sure, she'd beaten her captain into submission with her handy thick book many times but that was casual banter. Rukia then lent a hand to the poor woman to move the pieces much faster. Ruka had a tendency to become enthralled in the simplest of things but for long periods of time. Nanao had already pried her off from her desk when she noticed a dark patch of wood that wouldn't lighten and she began to pick at it. Hence, why they didn't let her near any furniture and told her to fix clothes.

"I think this is okay, I'll do the rest later" Ruka breathed gratefully and hugged both women as they finished the grueling task. She couldn't have done it as quickly without them and cherished her little group of friends. Too bad Rangiku couldn't join them with her cheery chatters but she loved her beauty sleep while Ruka was an early riser. She blamed that on Byakuya since he woke her up at dawn during their days in the thirteenth division. The worst part was that he made her take a loyalty oath for the Seireitei and she yawned through most of it. Now, it was a daily routine of just waking with no loyalty oath. With a smile, she told the group happily, "I'm treating you guys to lunch for your wonderful help. If any of you need a moving buddy, I'm on call."

"Yay! Food!" Yachiru cheered zestfully, jumping off of Ruka's desk onto the floor. She'd been standing on it giving her orders while Rukia and Nanao were ordered to lift it to carry her around. She had wrapped a black cape around her neck from an old uniform of Ruka's and wore heavy black boots over her small feet. She was basically a mini-Commander of the Seireitei; small but packed a punch. Ruka tried to lift her and winced as her back ached, "You put on some weight, Commander. Can't carry you this time, boss."

"Hmm, I guess I'll just shunpo with you guys" she said undeterred and shrugged, wiggling her large boots to them. Her young mind worked at the idea of the chaos she could cause to make Kenny proud. With a wide grin, she gushed merrily, "I like these! I can kick Ikkaku's big 'ol bald head with 'em!"

"She's becoming more dangerous since you arrived, you're creating a monster" Nanao scolded and Ruka merely smiled innocently as her face beamed with pride. It was a scientist's dream to create a satisfactory experiment with room for improvement. However, science didn't factor into Yachiru's behavior and more into her own. She needed a balance of kooky (Yachiru, Rangiku, Uncle Shunsui) and normal people (Byakuya, Nanao, Sajin) to keep her sane. . .well, san_er_. Ruka batted her eyelashes but Nanao's tight tone didn't budge, "Don't give me that innocent ploy, I know how your mind works after one hundred and fifteen years!"

She blew a raspberry of failure and muttered, "It never works on anyone."

* * *

Yachiru held her plump tummy as she returned with the others to Ruka's new home. She had eaten all that she could until she felt she would explode. While the others ate and chatted, she had wandered off to bug random people with questions which Ruka allowed, reminding her to kick crotches if anyone got in her way while Nanao objected. All in all, it was a fun day! Her heavy shoes thumped against the wooden sidewalk as she groaned, "I think I'm gonna blow from all the food."

"I told you not to get her four dishes" Nanao hissed privately to the brunette for spoiling the child. Ruka was putty at the hands of children, especially Yachiru, and denied them nothing. In Ruka's view, children needed to be happy in those early years unlike her own and with her parents inheritance and shinigami pay, she tried to make it better. Giving clothes, toys, food, it was a continual donation she gave to the poorest districts while she filed applications to have them evaluated for better living situations. But it was all forgotten since all shinigami could do was patrol and fight. That's why she liked science, she could stay and be part of it all at the same time. Nanao was the same, she preferred to stay in the Seireitei and rarely patrolled in the human world.

Ruka opened the door to her quarter and shrugged with a scoff, "Aw, Nanao, it's not-"

The door opened to reveal a smiling Captain Hisagi inside the room as he motioned perkily for them to come inside. The quartet wandered inside, questions of why he was there popping into their minds, but Ruka stayed put in her place as the other three gaped in horror to what was different about the room.

Shuhei then became nervous at their gazes and asked carefully, "What?"

"Where are my things?!" Ruka exploded frantically and ran inside in circles like a headless chicken to find a stranger's items filling her room. Where were her paintings? Her clothes? Her experiments? Her furniture was replaced by mismatched wooden colors and she grimaced. Oh, they didn't even match! Opening the closet, she found men's clothing littering the small space and let out a scream that made the captain jump.

_She screams like a Hollow!_, he thought and his eyes went as wide as saucers. _Did I get a lieutenant hidden in disguise? I hope I don't regret my decision. Oh crap, she's looking at me like a panther to a rabbit!_

"These belongings aren't yours?" he asked with both dismay and wariness and ran a hand through his spiky hair when she shook her head negatively and glared at him. What did he just get himself into? So much for giving a helping hand. He placed his hands up peacefully before all four mauled him to a pulp inside the room and explained, "I sent a team to bring your things here to lighten your load of new tasks. I guess I didn't think that you'd do it yourself and I apologize for the inconvenience. I didn't mean to cause aggravation so I'll ask them to redo it piece-by-piece."

"We won't have to?" Rukia asked suspiciously with a frown, not in the mood to do it again and fall on her butt with her friend's crate. Or worse, get crushed by one.

"And without charge?" Ruka added in with crossed arms, knowing nothing was free in the Seireitei.

"Yes, you're all free to roam" he assured, hoping the problem would be fixed and his lieutenant wouldn't remain pissed at him. Their relationship was already rocky and he didn't want it to crumble into dust. Black boots caught his attention and he stared oddly at Yachiru to say, "I'm not even going to ask about her."

The little girl raised her chin and began walking out with loud footsteps, wood creaking under the weight. The group of women gasped when she suddenly kicked the captain's shin with her boots on the way out. No one should underestimate the power of little Yachiru. Angrily, she snapped, "That's Commander Kusajishi to you, Porcupine!"

Ruka could only slap her forehead in embarrassment and apologize profusely to her captain, "She's role playing, captain, and takes it very seriously. I'm certain she won't do it again and I'll make sure of it. Thank you for sending a team out for me, it was extremely considerate of you to do that- and please don't fire me."

_I'll be shamed for getting fired so quickly_, she thought worriedly and bit her fingernails for emphasis. _I won't have a division, a home, I'll have to wander the streets-_

Her captain simply nodded, showing no signs of pain from the attack, and informed her, "Dinner will be in three hours and your presence is expected. Tomorrow, you will receive your assignment on which squads you will inspect and how to orientate the new recruits. Your schedule on visiting the divisions will also be given with your appointment times."

"Yes, sir, and thank you again" Ruka said politely and bowed respectfully, shooing her entourage outside from behind with her hand. She yanked the two women along to find the rampaging child in battle boots and get out of there quickly before her captain decided to punish her for Yachiru's actions. Also, to save innocent shinigami from the little lieutenant's clutches of doom.

_This is not a good impression I'm giving_, she thought miserably. _It hasn't been a week and I bet he thinks I'm insane!_

Inside Ruka's quarters, the ninth captain shook his lower leg and frowned, "Damn, that kid can kick."

* * *

Shinigami Extras:

"Okay, so how would you rate the men in the Seireitei?" Ruka grinned slyly in girlish chatting to Nanao as she sipped her drink at a restaurant she'd taken them to. It took three restaurants for the four to finally agree on, mostly because Yachiru wanted sweet desserts only. Of course, Ruka would spoil the child's wishes while Nanao scolded.

"I don't think that's a good idea" Nanao answered flatly and grabbed Yachiru's chopstick before she flung spitballs into people's hair. She was a mischievous child in public places and Nanao took it upon herself to keep her acting correctly.

"This is off-record and we're far away from the Seireitei, who would know?" Ruka scoffed, picking up a few pieces of spicy grilled chicken to munch on. When it came to spicy and sweet foods, she piled it all into her stomach. Her uncle was good at sweet foods so she hauled her butt there whenever he cooked such food and she popped in to Byakuya's home when he had spicy food (he had way too much food for himself anyway). As a conversation starter, she smiled innocently, "I heard there's a new guy in 4th squad that the girls are swooning over. Whenever they're injured, they ask to be treated by him. Rangiku's already been in five times for a sprained ankle."

"I'm not surprised at that" Nanao scoffed lightly but smiled at the gossip. It was entertaining but she would never admit it. She was sure such rumors would be revealed in the next women's association meeting.

"I already know Byakuya's rated one" Ruka laughed hysterically and Rukia joined her since it was a fact. Nanao shook her head but the brunette insisted, "What? He has masses of fans that would mob his opponents. Hell, they already bug me in public and I'm a pal. You'd think I was humping the man at night with their crazy minds."

"Ruka, don't say such vulgar things" her best friend scolded and swallowed her drink before she spit it out over Ruka's uncensored words. The brunette rolled her eyes without a care and bit into her food once again.

"Is he your pick then?" Rukia chuckled slyly as her eyes took on a sneaky glint.

"Bad Rukia, attempting to read minds" her friend joked with a small smile but shook her head. She liked that Rukia was growing into an outgoing person rather than the quiet woman that entered the thirteenth squad fifty-nine years ago. However, Byakuya kept her outlook respectful which Ruka didn't agree with. A woman should do as they want as long as it's legal (and with bendable rules). The brunette shook her head and pursed her bottom lip lazily, "Nah, I have my pick but that Captain Abarai and those tattoos-"

"It better not be who I think it is" Nanao warned her instantly and Ruka stuck her tongue out in protest as Rukia eagerly wanted to know. The eight lieutenant knew only the unruliest of men grabbed her friend's attention and warned, "I told you about your pick in crazy men-"

"They're not crazy, they're eccentric" Ruka defended snippily, crossing her legs to lean back in her chair. Pointing her chopsticks at Nanao, she justified, "That's a _whole_ different wavelength, girlfriend."

"Yeah, like Kenny!" Yachiru piped in while distracted to flinging a spitball into a man's hair at the table next to theirs.

* * *

Thanks for reading the story, I appreciate it, and please review.


	8. Byakuya Always Knows Best

CHAPTER 8

**Byakuya Always Knows Best**

* * *

After a morning of fixing her new place, nothing spelled fun like. . .

"Byakuya!" Ruka cheered happily as she piled into his Calligraphy Society room and tried to hug him but he flash stepped out of the way a second later to dodge it. She hit the wooden floor on her stomach and groaned from the impact, using her elbows to lift her upper body and glared up at him to demand, "What'd you do that for? Friendship means happiness, not letting your friends crush their faces on the floor! It's not like I carry poison that will kill you on contact. I mean, I could but then I'd die with you and we can't have that, Byakushi."

"It's Captain Kuchiki to you while I'm on duty" he stated simply with hidden distaste to Yachiru's nickname for him and she stood up with a glare. She rubbed her sore areas and hoped she hadn't flattened her chest, poking the mounds for sharp pain as Byakuya stared awkwardly at her lack of modesty. Well, she could be worse and be Matsumoto by opening her uniform in public with a lack of support garments. Trying to gain her attention, he pointed out calmly, "We must always address ourselves correctly, lieutenant, and _act_ as such."

"Oh, come on, like you've never seen anyone poke their boob" she scoffed skeptically to the stoic captain and pointed a finger at him to state matter-of-factly, "Women take breast exams, you know. We don't complain when men scratch their crotches or burp in public and that's not even medical. I bet you've done it when no one's looking."

"Ruka-"

"Besides, you're not on duty and clubs are off-duty hobbies created by Captain-Commander Yamamoto himself for our entertainment" she pointed out smartly and he simply turned to the side, ignoring the obvious fact. He might've been stronger than her physically but she had brain power to match his skills and she loved using it to rile him. If she could get the slighest glare, she'd be happy for having him make use of his facial muscles. Clapping her hands, she ordered with a grin, "So dance for my entertainment. You love being a master at everything so be the lord of the dance. Dance, Kuchiki!"

"Ruka, get out" he stated sharply to stop her bubbly humor and wondered if he had been spared by having her away during the years. Now that she'd returned, she'd be nearby and would be hard to pry off like glue. She knew every entrance to his estate and division due to their childhood friendship and any expansions were bypassed by her crafty mind. Then again, she looked up to him for guidance and he wanted to make sure she'd grow up to be respected as he was. Obviously, it would be very hard to achieve with her personality.

"But I came to see you, you should be welcoming- no, _treasuring_ my visit" she stated with a satisfied nod to her argument and waited for him to make his move over their chess game of mentality. He was always one step ahead and she kept up despite it wouldn't be a solid move. Their constant competitiveness never ceased and she would win one of these days.

His fine eyebrow lifted slightly and he inquired, "What are you doing here then, Kyoraku?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm in your club!" she laughed eagerly to his dismay and walked over to glimpse at the calligraphy sets stationed for each member in a straight line. The wooden cases were of fine dark wood aligned next to the calligraphy paper and she cooed, "Ooh, they're nice. Have you used the one I brought you?"

"It was acceptable" he replied coolly and pointed to a spot on the far left. If he was stuck with her, he'd place her in the closest area to him and away from where she could cause harm. She could use the most average items and turn them into accidents. It happened with his ink bottle when she once opened the window to his office and knocked it down to coat his freshly written reports in ink. She was halfway out the window when he found her, wet papers stuck onto her uniform with a windowpane full of fingerprints to prove her crime. He made her scrub everything down and kept his ink bottles tucked away whenever she was in the room. That story was just one out of hundreds. Quietly, he stated, "That's your seat."

He pushed her in the direction and she groaned disappointedly as she walked, raising her arms to exclaim, "I got you the deluxe set! What more can you need? I'm getting you a kimono next time, picky man. Or slippers, everyone loves slippers."

"Sit down, Ruka" he ordered with his usual stoic stare and she sat down grumpily. Her hand slipped off her zanpakuto from her waist and she placed it on the floor to the side with a gentle pat. She picked up the calligraphy set to study it and the contents almost fell out when she flipped it upside down, giving him a cheeky smile before putting it back on the floor. She'd play it safe for now and let her curious quirks be. Byakuya hoped she wouldn't like his club to prevent any mishaps that would be pinned on him. Ruka could only blink at his cautious stare and felt like a mouse under a cat's watchful gaze.

"Don't tell me you're still mad about the coffee thing" she chuckled softly and his eyes narrowed slightly. Bingo! He was still in a huff about it despite his cool mask but she knew each of his little twitches meant something. It took years to learn each one and named herself a master at reading the stoic captain. Otherwise, she'd make a pretty crappy best friend to have. Ruka pointed to him amusingly and jeered, "You are, aren't you? Yachiru didn't mean it, she's a hyperactive kid. Everyone gets caught in the crossfire once in a while. Be proud that she likes you or you'd be Madarame by now which isn't a pretty sight. By the way, I wouldn't anger her, she has combat boots on today and went total commando. She's loose in the Seireitei from what I last heard."

His top lip hitched in surprise but acted as if the topic wasn't of much interest. Ruka, however, knew he was constantly concerned about the child's whereabouts since she mostly popped in to bother him without announcement. After years of trying to find the women's association, he remained defeated but he'd catch that little one in the act sooner or later. Ruka wouldn't hold her breath on him actually achieving it.

Quietly, he sat down on his spot with elegance that made Ruka's own position look sloppy and asked, "Where did she get combat boots?"

"Me, where else?" she responded easily with a grin and he released a small sigh of disappointment. He also didn't approve of her friendship with the hyperactive child since both caused manic chaos in the Seireitei whenever they met up. It didn't bother her since it was her choice and he could've been worse like other nobles who just didn't associate with others outside their specific clan. She liked to think of him as an onion, with the cold outlook outside all the way down to his most vulnerable side. After all, she'd known him since before they entered the Academy and helped him train nonstop so he could achieve his role flawlessly. She thought of herself as a lollipop, except she used witty sarcasm as a cover instead of frightening everyone to death. Waving a hand in dismissal, she stated calmly, "Don't lecture me, Byakuya. She was helping me move to my new home. I'm sure Rukia told you about it."

"How is the ninth division?" he asked quickly, wanting to shift the conversation away from the pink demon. When the girl first made her presence known in the Seireitei, Byakuya had gone out of his way to make sure the two wouldn't meet but failed and resulted with an add-on package to Ruka. It was tedious to fight over Yachiru and he'd only be giving Ruka ammunition against him in the end. As crazy as it seemed, he valued the brunette's friendship and despite their flaws in personalities, they were loyal to each other. Now that she was in ninth, he assumed her daily visits to his office after her shift would decrease since Sajin would be the one receiving the gloomy woman in seventh.

"Lonely and dreadful, the captain seems okay but I just can't replace Sajin overnight" she moaned woefully and lied down on the floor on her back. Her spine needed the rest after the big move. Byakuya almost hung his head at her careless attitude and wondered if all of the Kyorakus behaved in such a way. His brain received a 'yes' after remembering all of his encounters with the cheery clan and bookworm of a girl that kept following him throughout the years. She had the potential to be a captain and if she learned the traditions of her ancestors, she could be a clan leader like her oldest uncle and himself. Unfortunately, he was sure she'd never agree to such an idea. She was happy being unknown and unnoticed, free to travel anywhere and do anything without restraint and nobility laws. Still, he would try. His lazy stare hardened when she piped up, "Can I stay with you? I tried my uncles, Unohana, Nanao, I didn't dare risk it with Yachiru, so my last hopes of a sleepover are Rangiku and you. I've been banned from Rangiku for being a bad little girl, Sajin's super overprotective, so that leaves you-"

"No."

"Oh! But Rukia needs a pal in that huge quiet mansion, the rats can only keep her company for so long" she groaned dramatically and he turned to give her a stony glare. How dare she think he had rats and other repulsive infestations? He was a Kuchiki, everything in his home was cleaned thoroughly every single day to be presentable and he checked it himself before leaving every morning.

"My home holds no such cretins and I make the decisions concerning her" he stated tightly but her smile only widened. She'd heard those words many times and didn't doubt their validity but sometimes, his choices weren't what Rukia wanted or her choices didn't please his palate despite how hard the younger Kuchiki tried. The Kuchiki clan wasn't keen on Rukia's presence since she first arrived, partly because of Hisana, but Ruka was there to beat them back with her katana sheath if they tried anything funny. They were an awful bunch and during Hisana's days, she accompanied the humble woman to make sure she'd be all right. But Rukia was different, she could defend herself and make a name all on her own without anyone's help. Unlike Hisana, she was bold and determined, a quality Ruka believed needed to be watered so it could bloom to its fullest.

"Just make sure your choices don't get her depressed" she pointed out, letting out a tired yawn from the day's activities, and tapped her fingers over the wooden flooring. His silence bored her easily and she tapped in rhythm to nod her head to the beat. Tap, tap-tap, tap, pause, tap-tap, tap-

"Ruka" he reprimanded to the bothersome noise and she batted his knee from her spot with a catty smile. In private, she was outrageous but her demeanor changed in public which prodded him to have her in such environments next time.

Turning over onto her stomach, Ruka crossed her arms neatly under her round chin and told him flatly, "Nobody likes lectures, Byakuya. I just got my last one from Sajin on alcoholic intoxication and parties are now banned to me. Did Rukia end up as hammered as I was? I'm a total lightweight. Sajin's such a sweet father figure though, I see why my uncle chose him to watch over me. I'm thinking of posting a personal ad for him in the Seireitei, what do you think?"

"I think Komamura would appreciate it if you _didn't_" he answered firmly, hoping to save his fellow captain the embarrassment, and she uttered another irritated sigh. Would he ever agree with her on anything? She did it all the time when he was a kid! Men, they were never reliable for any matter.

His stoic face almost cracked when she grinned slyly, "So how's _your_ romance life?"

"Ruka" he warned lightly as his jaw clenched and she dropped it, understanding his touchiness on the subject. She wanted him to be happy and was sure Hisana would be wishing the same. Love could bring out the best and worst in people and her friend was a casualty of the latter. He closed himself completely after her death, never speaking her name in public, and stuck to the strict principles his family ordered. She gave him a soft glance and he assured with a small rare smile, "I'm perfectly fine the way I am."

"It's not fair, you should have little Byakuya's running around causing chaos with my gadgets while my future children would marry yours and we'd be family! A Kuchiki-Kyoraku family!" she said aloud with a frown, slumping her forehead against the floor, and sighed somberly, "Life screws with us a lot, doesn't it?"

. . ."Yes, yes, it does."

An hour and a half later, Ruka held a near finished calligraphy page as her tongue stuck out of her lips slightly in pure concentration while adding the final touches. She didn't practice calligraphy personally but Byakuya made sure she had a lesson with him whenever she was back in the Seireitei. Now, she was sure the days would be spent doing calligraphy. It didn't matter, it was just another art form that she would tweak to her skills and get a thumbs-up from Byakuya. The image was practically impossible to imagine and settled for a dignified nod, that was more his style. Retsu Unohana, who was also a member and whom Ruka had asked to sit by, stared awkwardly at her masterpiece.

"Ruka?"

"Hmm?" she looked up to her with a smile as she placed her calligraphy brush down. Flecks of black ink blotched parts of her pale cheek when she dipped her brush throughout the process and Retsu could only smile at her child-like expression. Sometimes it was hard to believe the woman was over a century old and not the young energized youngster that she acted as. She pinned it on Shunsui's laidback persona since the man took his time and was goofy most of the day.

"H-How. . .Why did you give the exercise a background?" Retsu asked hesitantly to the odd creation and the younger woman smiled shyly.

"To dress it up a little since I get artsy in tranquil environments and the letters looked lonely" she answered casually, looking at the black letters delightfully, and returned to paint a light gray tone to the outer corners of the paper. Perfect. Even Byakuya Kuchiki would gasp at its awesomeness. Retsu's left eyebrow lifted upwards when she saw a victorious but smug smile on the woman's face.

"But how did you do it? Black is the mandatory ink and you have gray, white. . ." the healer asked in surprise and knew her artful category was painting rather than calligraphy. Out of all the skills nobility should know, Ruka loved art and would draw just about anything to master the skill perfectly against other clans. Retsu understood her passion for it, mainly because she loved healing others more than anything and she _was_ the best. Plus, Ruka's paintings gave her home interesting pieces for guests to look at while she prepared tea. The young lieutenant showered her with kind gifts all the time, similar to her Jushiro and loved the girl as if she were one of her own after watching over her for so long.

"Oh, I diluted the color with a bit of water, used a scrap paper to test the right amount, and we have a grey mood" she explained calmly and waited for her masterpiece to dry. Soon, she would drop by to say goodbye to Sajin and her squad and decided to procrastinate by creating a complex design but now it was finished. Dang. Quietly, she began to fix the calligraphy kit neatly and went on to say, "It's the same basics of blending in painting and I did similar exercises in squad 12 to test poisons, antidotes, and neutral bases with stain testing."

Twisting her wrist joints to stretch them, she complimented Retsu's own perfect design with a smile, "As always, elegant and clean-cut as the captain herself."

"Thank you, Ruka" she chuckled softly to her never-ending compliments towards her and couldn't help but feel amused when she raised her hand for Byakuya's attention. He was currently helping Captain Abarai fix a thick horizontal line painted from end to end of his paper but there was no way to fix such an obvious mistake. From Renji's side, Rukia hid an evil smile as she applied her next delicate line on the paper without a single fault in it while Renji tried to explain the situation. Byakuya saw Ruka's raised hand and struggled between the two options: get a headache from Renji's screeching or have his mind boggled beyond repair with Ruka. He choose the lesser of the two annoying evils.

Renji waved his hands frantically, almost clutching the ends of Byakuya's haori, as he cried desperately, "No! You can't leave me! This isn't my fault! Captain. . .!"

The whole room couldn't help but hide their sniggers to his loud yells and Byakuya knew the meditative mood was ruined by the redhead's wailing. His ex-lieutenant's antics shamed him to say the least but part of him would never pin the blame on Rukia for petty quarrels. Brothers were supposed to protect their siblings and she was his pride so it was a definite no. Renji groaned in defeat while Rukia's smile widened mischievously and kept working on her calligraphy.

_He actually tried to pull my haori, such a juvenile behavior_, Byakuya thought distastefully and almost stopped in mid-step when he saw Ruka's bright face pop into view. _I hope she doesn't try the same either. She has a tendency to ride people like a mule._

When the captain walked over with his usual stiff pace, Ruka pointed to her paper gleefully and asked proudly with a grin, "So, what do you think? I decorated it a little to give it life but I think it looks good."

Byakuya was completely appalled at the painted paper, a grimace set on his facial features as his brows furrowed, and she chuckled nervously, "Right? _Right_? Byakuya-"

"The exercise was for _that_" he explained quietly, pointing to the example of his own work that he'd shown at the beginning of the meeting. How did she go from his perfectly structured paper to a monstrosity of gloom? Maybe he should've stayed with Renji instead. He pointed to her _artwork_ and snapped firmly, "_This_ is definitely not what I asked for and would never allow a member of my society to do such a thing. For that, you fail today's exercise."

"But I made it pretty!" she argued loudly as she stared up at him, feeling like a toddler to her gigantic parent, and stabbed her finger towards his sample across the room. She spent all that time creating it and that's what she would get? A fail? Quickly, she questioned sharply, "How is that any worse from mine?"

"Simple, it isn't the _exact_ copy of the example" he pointed out coldly and she glared at him, standing up to confront him despite her short height. Renji and Rukia focused in on the quarreling duo, forgetting their ink war, and came close to awing loudly for the lively display. No one really expected for anyone to confront the cold captain on any matter if they wanted to live and they watched in fascination to see it play out.

"It has the fundamental calligraphy piece in the center, a background is completely irrelevant to the evaluation" Ruka shot back as her sapphire eyes narrowed and she placed her hands on her hips defiantly to continue the verbal battle. Her baby would get a better grade if she had to rip off his shiny kenseikan. Tightly, she gritted out, "I want- no, I demand another thorough check."

"The answer remains a no" he stated grimly and Retsu could only stare as their reiatsu levels rose. She doubted a battle would break out between the two but it was interesting to see someone stand up to the stoic captain. . .even if it was a friend. Their feud reminded her of many the two quarreled over as they grew older and knew it would be settled eventually with no harm done. The only people that came to mind when she compared them were Yoruichi Shihoin and Kisuke Urahara; if one asked the other to jump, the other would ask how high and vice versa.

Byakuya's nose rose slightly with arrogance as he saw the perfect calligraphy but the awful fading colors of gray and white overshadowed it. He gave her an unaffected gaze to order blandly, "You may take that. . ._creation_ home."

Ruka instantly went on the defense for her inanimate painting to protect its pride and growled irritably, "It's not ugly! If at all, yours looks dry and devoid of life."

When his face turned into a glare, she challenged it with a witty smirk to tease, "It's because of that coffee thing, isn't it? This is payback!"

"I'll see you next time, Ruka" he dismissed carelessly without looking at her and she grit her teeth as he returned to an astounded slack-jawed Renji. Byakuya curled his lip slightly at seeing his wide eyes, almost at the brink of popping out comically, while Rukia blushed lightly before turning back to her work. Ruka was about to take Yachiru's example and hurl her ink bottle at his back for leaving their verbal fight but Retsu patted her leg to soothe her and summoned her to sit down. Obediently, the lieutenant sat on her knees and stared at her flunked art piece. Who did he think he was? She just knew it had something to do with the coffee incident. It's not like she planned for Yachiru to spray him with it! Whenever his honor was tainted or humiliated, he would fire back with retaliation quietly until you were humiliated. She hoped that was his only plan and she wouldn't wake up with shredded clothing strewn all over her room from courtesy of Senbonzakura.

"It's very pretty" Retsu comforted gently and smiled at the painting. She liked the monochrome colors, they would blend nicely in a library and her home held two for natural and engineered medicine. Placing her delicate fingers on Ruka's slumped shoulder, she asked nicely, "Would you mind if I kept it?"

"Really? It's not the 'motherly pity for the stricken kitten on the wet road' reaction?" Ruka mumbled with a frown and Retsu took the painting into her hands, giving her a small affirming nod. Her heart elated happily to the kind gesture and she thanked her gratefully, "You're the best, Retsu. I _really_ wish you were family so I could stay with you all day."

"I'll see you tomorrow for lunch" she chuckled softly and squeezed her shoulder in farewell. Ruka beamed happily and left the room quietly with light footsteps in order to stop further commotion. She would've done it to spite the sixth captain but she didn't want to be intrusive on the society members. On her way out, she received a thumbs up from an unlikely source, a face painted Renji wearing a silly grin, while Rukia punched him in the spine painfully and gave her friend a smile. Ruka could only shake her head and muffle a laugh towards the two as she closed the door.

Retsu summoned Byakuya over when he finished failing a depressed Renji and she pointed to the captain's example. Innocently, she pointed out with a sweet smile, "By the way, Captain Kuchiki, the bottom portion of the last letter is slightly angled to the right instead of staying vertical throughout. I thought you might like to know that before you grade us on that apparent mishap."

"Thank you, Captain Unohana" Byakuya responded tightly and returned to the front of the room to fix it as Retsu smiled to herself. She mastered the appearance of calmness to hide the stern side most of her squad feared. Most thought it was rumor but she could scare just about anyone, given the chance.

* * *

"I don't want to go! You can't make me!" Ruka shouted frantically as she clung to one of the wooden beams outside Sajin's office to prevent her unavoidable leave. Lieutenant Iba pulled at her waist, grunting the whole way and complaining she was a wimp, but she didn't budge an inch with her iron grip as she held on for dear life. Sajin sighed dismally at seeing the short woman be tugged at like a piece of string in public. His little bird had to leave the nest one way or another and begin her new journey.

"Ruka, let go" Sajin ordered firmly and she reluctantly released her hold on the beam quietly to obey. Disobeying her father figure whether as a shinigami or individual never crossed her mind, she respected him too much to do such shameful behavior. She didn't want to leave him after having a friendly jovial dinner with the squad and crossed her arms huffily. He placed his hands on her shoulders and assured gently, "I know you're scared but we're only two divisions away and Captain Hisagi has assured me nothing will happen to you in case you're afraid of being eaten."

"I was joking about that. . .Dad" she chuckled sadly and hugged him tightly, not wanting to leave him. It was a day she regretted waking to and had been dreading it since morning. Too bad Byakuya cut her club time due to her fail but having dinner with her new squad was incredibly frightening. She hadn't eaten much to make sure she wouldn't be full by the time she reached Captain Hisagi's division and prevent throwing up from the nerves knotting up her stomach. She had to appear and act presentable to gain their respect, especially by making a good impression with her first appearance. Her cheek pressed against Sajin's fluffy side and she looked to Iba to smile modestly, "I'll miss you too, Shades. Thanks for keeping the division under control and keep looking after our captain. If I find out he's been hurt on any mission, your balls are mine."

"Ruka" the canine captain reprimanded for her improper use of language but she and Iba laughed together instead. He just knew that his little Ruka was spending too much time with the eleventh squad and Rangiku. Who knew what inappropriate things ran through their minds and warped hers. His previous conversation with Ruka popped into mind and remembered how she wanted to be treated like the adult that she was rather than the youngster she used to be. Sajin didn't like that, it only seemed a decade ago or so since she arrived to join his squad as a young lady and now she was a grown woman, a lieutenant of the Seireitei. It was both a prideful and bittersweet moment as he watched her laugh with Tetsuzaemon. With trusted comrades, she was confident and sarcastic while defense and silence was given to outsiders.

Cutting her some slack, he dismissed with a light chuckle, "No indecent words in my presence, Ruka."

"Iba does it all the time and you don't scold him" she muttered half-heartedly but took his preference into mind. Being a respectable lady was much harder than it looked and a lieutenant would have her turning into the stern Nanao or worse, Byakuya. Oh noes! With a smirk, she told Iba, "You won't mind if I return to my old turf to hang out? I know how territorial you are."

"I'll be here for a training session if you need it" he laughed at her challenge with a nod and decided to leave the two for their parting. He wasn't a sappy guy but was sure the two needed their privacy. Bowing respectfully, he gave his farewell, "Take care, Ruka, and show them what our division's all about."

_You bet your ass I will_, she thought confidently and smiled.

Ruka watched the lieutenant leave the small hill they stood atop of and the reality of leaving her precious home brought tears to her eyes. She batted them away irritably, hating any mushy moments that left her vulnerable in the open. Sadness and fear were emotions she always hid and used psychological defense mechanisms to avoid it. Her uncle helped her when she lost her parents, Mayuri matured it when they hid their relationship, and Byakuya perfected it when she left the twelfth division. She hated emotional distraught and kept herself optimistic to brush such uncomfortable thoughts into her subconscious where they belonged to be forgotten. However, Sajin wiped away her tears quietly and soothed gently, "It is all right to shed tears when one is overcome by emotions. It isn't a weakness, Ruka, and bottling it up can have repercussions on your health. Cry all you need to, little one."

"Crying is for kids and first-time parents. . .and a bad haircut" she argued weakly and wiped her cheek with her gloved hand. This was going to be harder than she thought and with soft steps, she ran over to hug the captain again around the waist. Well, her arms barely reached over his sides so she decided to just hug his left side as usual. Her throat tightened up painfully as she struggled to control the river of tears and whispered, "I'm really leaving, aren't I?"

"Yes and I'm sure you'll create new memories in your new squad" he assured with his own heavy heart and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She whimpered in reluctance and his heart went out to the socially awkward woman. He'd seen her grow from a playful adolescent to. . .hmm, actually, she remained the same. Why she never grew out of it was beyond him.

_Well, it's better than to have had her turn out defiant_, he justified in thought. _Her interactions will get better as she's exposed to others and maybe she'll grow out of her defensive shell._

"You won't be there when I get up" she mumbled sourly and dug her cheek into his side, gripping his white haori under her fingers. Her daily routine would change drastically as she started working with the new captain and her division members would now be unknown faces unlike the people she waved to every morning. A completely different scenario. When she traveled abroad, it wasn't mandatory to learn people's names but as a lieutenant, she would need to watch over every member and take responsibility of any mishaps. There was so much to learn and she hoped her brain could absorb the information quickly. Worriedly, she blurted loudly, "What if I forget and walk into the mess hall in my nightgown? I'll embarrass myself before the captain! What if he thinks I'm trying to seduce him?! Or worse, what if I fail my first workload? Or forget a task? I can't have that smear my perfect record!"

"I'm sure Captain Hisagi will make sure nothing happens" he chuckled to her paranoia and she bit her bottom lip nervously. He could see his words weren't sinking into her stubborn mind and decided to try another tactic. She was a perfect warrior with orders and he lectured firmly, "Remember to be courteous and give respect at all times. Treat others as you would want to be treated and never argue orders."

"Even if they're jerks? I have a tendency to send homemade 'presents' to them" she pouted innocently and he gave her a stern look. One thing he'd never approved was her knack to cause destruction to people, buildings, and towns with her whimsical creations. He blamed it on Mayuri Kurotsuchi for encouraging her scientific abilities and she'd trusted him with the truth behind her time in the twelfth division. His first thought was to mangle the bastard who'd sullied his little Ruka but she made him promise he wouldn't. Strangling another captain to death just wouldn't look good in your record, period.

Unfortunately, she was brilliant in the field but Sajin would never let her go back to that division or be in that man's presence again. She stomped her foot to his unbendable rules and complained, "See? I'll _never_ get away with this stuff over there! He'll make me pay for anything that's destroyed while you let me off the hook. It'll be the end of my wonderful chaos and monthly paycheck."

She sniffled at the thought and bawled loudly without warning. Sajin could only stare surprisingly as she sobbed, tears running down her flushed cheeks in rivers, and he asked in complete bafflement, "You'll cry over your pastimes but not farewells?"

"This _is_ a farewell, I'll never get to blow anything up again without being charged for public endangerment!" she wailed upsettingly and rubbed her reddened nose before she had mucus trailing down her face. She had to meet her captain later on and she didn't want to scare him off with her face. Appearances had to be presentable at all times and Ruka followed that rule diligently. She blinked her tears away sadly and sighed deeply to push air into her congested lungs and cleared her throat. The entire situation was heart wrenching and she sniveled, "I'm going to miss you terribly, Sajin. Every single day. You won't be there to lecture me or give me hot tea when I'm overworked. I'm going from a protective papa wolf to a noodle-addict rocker!"

"Ruka, don't exaggerate" he stated with a fond smile to the comparison and shook his head at her dramatics. Whenever she was emotionally on edge, she put up her sarcastic defense against anyone to ward them off. Apparently, the firm front wasn't working and he returned to heartfelt words, "This is a brand new adventure for you and adventures are what you love best, Ruka. Great opportunities are awaiting you with this new rank. Embrace it."

"No, I like exploding things" Ruka stated glumly but took the topic seriously when he gave a stern expression meaning business. All right, it was time to woman up and face it. She'd faced countless Hollows in her lifetime, been in destructive explosions, fallen through buildings, faced stuck-up nobility parties, used herself as a test subject, but she'd rather do them all over than be a lieutenant at the moment. Sucking down a deep breath, she spoke uneasily, "I'll do the best that I can, I hope I'm good enough-"

"Child, you will be excellent" Sajin boasted proudly and she blushed at his words. He believed that greatly in her? He smiled when her face brightened up to the encouragement and squeezed her shoulders to admit, "I am very proud of your successes, Ruka, and your potential hasn't been reached yet. Now you must sharpen all of your skills and develop your own path in life. You've grown immensely since you first arrived here and I've tried my best to make sure you turned out a responsible young lady. Now, I know you can be a little eccentric-"

Ruka grinned wildly at the compliment (which wasn't meant to be one) as he continued, "But I expect you to carry all of the teachings Captains Kyoraku, Ukitake, Unohana, and I have given you."

"That's a lot of teachings, you know" she pointed out respectfully but adored that she had such good people caring over her. As an orphan, she expected to be alone as no one but Shunsui took her in but never expected to receive such generosity from the captains as she aged. Without their help, she doubted she'd be where she was today. Firmly, she nodded to what was expected of her and assured, "I will carry out each order gracefully and if anyone steps out of line- pow! A direct punch to the skull!"

"That's not what I expected to hear but it's. . .um. . .a good example" he winced uncertainly to her strict tactics for obedience. Her grin deflated to his hesitance but he nevertheless supported his ward, "You'll develop new skills in leadership, lead missions to the human world, get more in-depth information in meetings-"

"Ugh, don't remind me" she shuddered in effect to the first meeting but swallowed the rest of her words to make him happy, "I'm a quick learner so I'll make sure everything is under control as lieutenant. I've been a perfect subordinate for you and I'll be Captain's Hisagi's right hand whether in battle, advising, training, or simple paperwork."

"That's my girl" Sajin smiled with the warm twinkle in his golden eyes that he reserved for his dear ones. He could see the sky was darkening to bring on the beautiful orange-red sunset to cool the land and knew it was her time to leave. Hugging her tightly, he spoke softly, "I will be here for you at any hour, night or day, sunny or stormy. You're never alone but if you feel that you are, remember everyone who is here to help and you'll do fine. Everyone is nervous during their first weeks in a new rank, I was nerve-wrecked too when I first became captain due to my appearance but the Captain-Commander assured me just as I am doing now. One day, you'll do the same to your own squad members as a captain."

"That's a farfetched dream but thank you" she whispered hopefully and dabbed at her eyes again. Damn tear ducts, she should just burn them off and be done with them. When he released her, she wanted to jump back in to feel the same happiness she felt whenever she came to him with problems. He would solve them until she was her cheerful self again but that was over now. These were her own independent footsteps and with the same vigor that she served the seventh captain with, she'd make herself into the top lieutenant of the thirteenth squads. Well, second if she had to compete with Sasakibe who was rumored to be as strong as a captain. With a respectable bow, she smiled at her father figure and spoke politely, "I will see you soon, Captain Komamura. Give my love to Goro."

"Goodbye, Lieutenant Kyoraku" he returned courteously with a smile and Ruka actually enjoyed hearing her assigned title for the first time. She was lieutenant Kyoraku and she'd kick anyone's ass who said otherwise. Confidently, she strolled down the hill as wind licked at her face in opposition and headed back to her new division to meet up with her captain.

Sajin watched the little speck that was Ruka fade into the grassy hills beyond and heard a calm jovial voice behind him, "She'll be fine, Sajin."

"I know she will, it's her subordinates I'm worried about" the seventh captain chuckled softly and turned to see Shunsui inhaling the cool evening air. Obviously, he wasn't the only one keeping tabs on the new permanent status shinigami. Amusingly, he told the laidback captain, "She can be quite temperamental with disrespect and with Captain Hisagi being more on the passive side, she'll keep the division in line with concussions."

"It's probably from the maternal side of her family" Shunsui grinned in dismissal and walked up to the taller male. He may not have been a natural caretaker but handing his niece over to Sajin's teachings was a good choice he didn't regret. He loved Ruka dearly but with his ideals, he'd turn her into a drunk (that, he was sure of) but she retained many qualities from his personality as well. So, it wasn't a loss and he would remain vigilant of all her activities. By Sajin's somber expression, Shunsui understood the move wouldn't make his day easier and suggested, "C'mon, why don't you come to my place? I have unlimited sake, last time I checked, and I'm sure you could use a drink."

The other captain hesitated, knowing he was against drinking. . .but he was off-duty and mulling over Ruka's departure wouldn't help. Seeing that Shunsui wasn't relenting on the suggestion, more like a command, he finally agreed, "All right."

* * *

Captain Hisagi and Ruka walked towards the dinner hall to eat their last meal for the night. She'd bawled her eyes out privately on her bed pillow for a few minutes (her confidence declined to zero once she entered the ninth division's empty streets) before freshening up and meeting her captain. He gave her a serene smile and assured, "The squad will respect you, lieutenant. Your record alone speaks for itself."

"I'll believe it when I see it" she replied tiredly and nodded to him. The day had sucked most of her lively buzz but would endure dinner to give a polite appearance for her division. She was here for them, whether they liked it or not. Mostly, she wanted to sleep everything off but alas, she couldn't. Crossing her arms behind her back, she stated simply, "I don't care what they think of me but I won't fail you, sir. I am here to learn and grow but my main concern is to have things in tip-top shape for you."

He took her word, knowing by her file that lying was rare and awful in her view, and felt relieved that she didn't hold him accountable for the mishap of switching her belongings. Women were tough beings to decipher and he would never get on the wrong side of one, especially his new lieutenant. Keeping to safe ground, he spoke encouragingly, "I believe you-"

A sudden explosion pierced the air of the Seireitei, cutting off his words, and he ran into an open area outside the dining hall. Ruka followed him at once but had an inkling about what the kaboom! was all about. Shuhei noticed a dark smoke cloud in the distance that was vividly seeable against the bright orange sunset. He was sure all the other captains were seeing it right now but stood in disbelief to the loud impact. At first, he thought the Seireitei was either under a ryoka attack or Kurotsuchi's institute blew something up.

Ruka's eyes locked on to see what her captain had taken an interest in. So she was right. Once the dark cloud began to take a familiar rabbit shape, she prided herself in the perfectly outlined figure and decided her work was done. Explosions came as second nature to her but the finesse of creating a specific shape was always a nice surprise. Giving a mischievous chuckle, she spoke innocently, "Oh, I see the new 3rd seat found my welcoming gift. He really shouldn't have touched the Chappy poster. Never touch strange objects without analyzing it first."

She hummed a cheerful tune to herself as she walked away, uninterested with the explosion, and Shuhei could only wonder what his new lieutenant would bring him. She already blew up a home before dinnertime, what else was she capable of?

* * *

Shinigami Extras:

Byakuya finished cleaning up every unusable object in his club room while Rukia dusted the floors to help. Despite her solemn façade, Rukia was grinning on the inside for causing Renji mischief during the meeting and causing him to unfortunately flunk. However, she didn't expect him to burst into dramatics and cling to her brother like a child demanding a toy. It was embarrassing to everyone except Renji who stomped off angrily when the meeting ended. While he failed, she received a satisfactory mark.

"How was your day with Ruka?" he asked quietly to make conversation and opened the clubhouse door to let the cool evening air inside. It was true that his communication was improving but it was hard to connect with Rukia's strange likes and dislikes; they were usually an opposite to his. He gave her the benefit of trying and listened to Ruka's weekly nagging that he should be proud of his sister no matter what she does.

"Wonderful, she took us to lunch and told us travel stories" Rukia replied with a gentle smile and batted dust bunnies through the doorway to clear the room. Her feet creaked against the floorboards as she wiped the wooden walkway and chuckled quietly, "She's a great talker so the day went fast. I can talk about anything with her, I'm glad she's back."

"She has that effect on people" he stated simply while the choice of letting the two women keep in contact was allowed by him. Even if he didn't, he was sure Ruka would find a way to sneak in to see Rukia and decided to let it be. He learned that early on in their friendship when they betted she couldn't enter the Kuchiki estate at night and lost when she entered his bedroom, soaking him with a bucket of cold water while he slept. In his stubborn young ways, he chased her throughout the windy estate until they were covered in thick mud and guards discovered them because of their loud yells and hair yanking. Their respective guardians then decided to block contact for a week but Ruka slipped through it with a loophole, sending notes to Byakuya during class to say nonverbal communication wasn't in the punishment. She was good at bending rules without a care while he stuck stiffly to each word of the law, a total switch from their younger personalities.

"Do you think she'll stay in her new rank? I'm not trying to be nosy but. . .Ruka doesn't seem happy about it" his sister spoke attentively and placed her broom in a corner nearby. The older woman would only share her deepest secrets with Nanao, Byakuya, and Retsu, which made Rukia wonder how the deepest layers of her friend were. It also made her question if her brother returned that same secretive trust after a century long friendship.

Byakuya barely opened his mouth when an explosion broke into the air and dark smoke littered into the sky to the south. The seventh division. He walked outside to watch the black smoke and searched for any signs of a fire but could see nothing. Either way, it would need investigation. Rukia blinked to the dark color of the cloud since most terrain explosions were brownish and curiosity struck alongside with duty.

"I should check it out in case Captain Komamura needs assistance" he murmured, mostly to himself and motioned for Rukia to follow. "Come."

They zeroed in on the epicenter of the disaster quickly since it was in the next division and found Captain Komamura already at the premises with his own lieutenant at his side. Byakuya and Sajin could only stare at the charred remains of the southern end of the third seat's quarters. The seventh division seats were helping a young man completely covered in black soot but showed no signs of injuries, except for hearing loss. They couldn't tell his skin or hair color from the black charcoal covering him from head to toe.

"Damn, what the hell happened?" Iba muttered as he saw the porch littered with gray ashes and saw through the dissipating smoke that the bedroom inside was completely annihilated. Nothing remained remotely useful and he doubted the rest of the quarters further north were safe for occupancy. The explosion puzzled him when it came to pinning a motive and he asked aloud, "Was it an attack?"

Rukia looked into the sky and her eyes widened when the black cloud took the cutesy shape of Chappy the rabbit. Ruka's previous order about the poster popped into her head and she couldn't believe it was all to activate the explosion. Ruka had actually done it! Tilting her head, she had to admit it looked exactly as the lovable rabbit and was impressed by her friend's talents. Dangerous or not. Quietly, she caught her brother's attention by pointing to the sky and his eyes narrowed instantly.

Coldly, he concluded everyone's theories with his response, "No, it was the disaster known as Ruka Kyoraku."

"Why am I not surprised?" Sajin sighed dismally and knew it was too good to be true that his ex-third seat would leave voluntarily without a word to the one who usurped her position. He would have a word with her once she returned to see him. Otherwise, Captain Kuchiki would grill Ruka about her common sense and endangering the public. Turning to his lieutenant, he ordered tiredly, "File a report to rebuild this quarter as soon as possible and someone take our newest third seat to Captain Unohana."

Two seated members disappeared with Retsu's soon-to-be patient and the seventh captain shook his head to the turn of events. The onlookers backed away when the back of the roof caved into the home, sending prickly wood chips and black soot flying, and Byakuya hoped Ruka wouldn't be a new menace to the Seireitei. They already had enough by dealing with Mayuri Kurotsuchi's crazy experiments and didn't need another. Sajin crossed his arms and asked the stoic captain inquisitively, "Do you ever wonder what runs through that head of hers?"

His simple reply was, "No. I fear I'd lose my mind by studying her cognition."

* * *

**A/N**: I changed the second main character from Shuhei to Byakuya since he'll have a larger role similar to Mayuri. Shuhei will still be in the story, obviously, but those are the two main characters along with Nanao, Retsu, Shunsui, and Sajin. I know Mayuri hasn't popped out yet, mainly because everyone wants to keep Ruka far from him but he'll have his intro in about two chapters. I like letting my characters settle in (while keeping in character) before increasing the pace into conflicts. Thanks for reading!


	9. Anything You Do, I Can Do Better

CHAPTER 9

**Anything You Do, I Can Do Better  


* * *

**

"Here are my reports on the evaluations of the new recruits and recent lieutenant meetings, sir" Ruka explained as she handed her captain the first batch of monthly reports. She hoped her previous work for the seventh division was up to par with his because the workload for one month had been arduous! So far, he hadn't said a negative word on any of her tasks and took it as a good sign. She needed all the confidence to keep going and tweak out any splinters that could damage her new division. The squad made her uneasy since she had to learn hundreds of new names, ranks, and personality variances to input into long-term memory. There were times she wished her brain was part computer so she could handle everything much more effortlessly. But hey, you could either keep complaining or get on track and she was a doer, not a nagger.

With a polite smile, she gave him a copy of her meetings and added in helpfully, "I know we're not supposed to take notes but I thought it could give you input to what I'm learning from the other squads in case you miss something."

_Plus, it keeps me from falling asleep or embarrassing myself_, she thought privately.

"Thank you, Ruka" he said appreciatively and stacked it among his other columns of work. The pile hadn't decreased since his first week but his new lieutenant was clearing as much as she could during work hours (sometimes break time too) and he was glad for the needed help. When they gave him his choices for lieutenant months ago, she was the only suitable individual due to her successful work in the seventh, twelfth, and thirteenth squad. Along with the fact that most captains knew it was time to kick her up the success ladder whether the woman liked it or not. To quote Captain Zaraki himself, 'Hey, I don't mind dragging her to ninth kicking and screaming. She needs a kick in the ass at her age'. Shuhei would've rather picked Noriko due to their allegiance to the ninth squad but the other captains chose the brunette instead as a top contender. He didn't regret his choice for a second and was entertained at times with all of her weird quirks. It didn't make the workday look so bleak.

His gaze shifted up from his own work as Ruka stared motionlessly at the large piles with an awkward glance and he inquired, "What?"

"That is a _lot _of work" she stated blankly, her lips turning into a frown. That wouldn't do in her book. Her captain needed to have his desk cleared to be ready for sudden missions or urgent news, not _clerical_ work. He was a captain, not a damn secretary! It was plain mockery to his high rank. Shaking her head, she asked him nicely, "Would you like me to help with certain paperwork? I'd be more than glad to take some of the load off and it keeps me occupied. Besides, seeing a captain under a mountain of white paper is kind of a downer."

"Sajin said you could be a workaholic" he chuckled amicably and thanked the heavenly spirits for giving him a good lieutenant, unlike Hitsugaya's. That poor captain was still two months behind on his paperwork and never caught up. His memorandums were hardly read that he missed a captains dinner at Yamamoto's estate and showed up three weeks later only for the maid to inform him of his lateness. Shuhei grabbed a small stack in his hand from the tallest pile to his left and gave it to her, relieved that his writing and cramping hand would soon get some much needed rest. If he kept it up, he wouldn't be able to grip his sword for a week. Her eyes lit up in interest to the work and he smiled at her focused attention towards it. He would see how the caseload of work added to her current tasks and stated, "Let's try this light load first to see your progress and we'll go from there."

"Gotcha" she smiled perkily and awaited the challenge. She'd work on the papers before her club meetings with Retsu later on and after dinner. Being banned from Rangiku to any late night party put a hamper in her schedule but she'd shift the time to spend with Sajin, Nanao, or Byakuya. Probably Nanao, she was a monster when it came to preparing reports and would glare you down in the library for any sudden peeps. Even the crickets stopped their music. Byakuya would just complain about her scribbling and hunched posture over his desk (she refused to use the floor after being bitten on the leg by a fat black spider years ago), not to mention blocking his own work with her body, while Sajin would make her forget entirely and bust into conversation.

_Yeah, Nanao's my perfect choice_, she decided with a nod and slipped the papers into a yellow envelope to secure them.

Footsteps entered the office and Ruka spotted Noriko as the newcomer. The younger woman was unfortunately her neighbor as the third seat and refused to acknowledge her in public despite Ruka's polite greetings. She'd glared at her mercilessly throughout dinner and breakfast since her arrival which made Ruka's days hit a slump when they were in close quarters. The sarcasm gods were having a field day with her lately. The dark-haired woman gave her a glower as she stepped up to the captain's desk to present her own work proudly, "The evaluation of my new squad members. Anything else, sir?"

"No, Kyoraku and I have it handled" the captain replied with a light smile as he stacked the folder on top of Ruka's own report. Reports always made summarizing easier for his own batch. The brunette's blue eyes darted back and forth between the two while standing to the side quietly. She was there to avoid problems and sighed mentally in relief when the captain dismissed, "Thank you, Noriko."

"Does she even know the way squad nine handles things here? After all, rules have changed over the decades and for one who's never stayed here permanently-" she pointed out smugly and smirked to finish with a combo insult, "It can be hard to keep up with _younger_ minds."

_Meow_, the lieutenant thought on the relentless woman. _Time for a checkmate._

Ruka simply faked a sweet smile that made the other angrier and explained calmly, "All of the divisions share the same rules, with the exception of 2nd and 4th, and I catch on very quick. Scientific minds never let a piece of data go by, you know. We're relentless that way. I never let an update pass me by and the older you are, the better handle you have over issues after obtaining a skilled mind. Besides, once you visit many Seireitei's internationally, you incorporate all laws into your head for safekeeping. I love challenges, don't you, Noriko?"

"Ladies" Shuhei warned to call their attention, not wanting a catfight to erupt over his desk. If he was off-duty, he'd probably be a spectator throwing mud in but manly wiles weren't important. Also, his paperwork would be mixed up and he would have to explain to Yamamoto what happened. It would be nothing short of embarrassing to have to explain his two top subordinates fighting in his office and trashing it. He pointed to the doorway and suggested with authority hinting at his voice, "Time for your tasks."

"Good day, captain" Ruka responded politely, bowing respectfully for any possible disrespect with her actions and exited the room to follow orders. Orders were good, they didn't have a face and were executed mercilessly. People. . .not so much. That's why she preferred paperwork than having to speak to undesirable folk.

The golden sun hid shyly behind the feathery clouds of the morning sky and she flash stepped quickly before Noriko entered her vicinity. Quarrels had become a pastime for the two but she had no need for it at the moment. Time for quarreling was immature and petty, probably due to her mature age, and the only ones she would give the time to would be her closest friends. Then again, she rarely fought with them and most ended comically since she was too lazy to hold a grudge. It was a trait of the Kyoraku clan.

Her schedule was packed with tasks concerning her personal squadron and she needed to learn everything about them. She took it upon herself to know the people she would most likely be fighting alongside with during battle and they deserved to be recognized. Otherwise, she would make a pathetic lieutenant. She set up meetings with each to have a close knit group and Azami Higa was included. The friendly girl was the only one who spoke with her during mealtimes since they were introduced and Ruka returned her generosity as well. It made her feel welcome somewhat and she opted to spend most of her time with the blond whenever she remained in the division.

After her morning tasks, she brought her captain lunch after discovering the poor guy wasn't eating due to his excessive workload. Seriously, were they trying to kill the poor new captain before the month was done? She'd done the same to Byakuya when he first became captain except he was incredibly stubborn in which she stuffed food into his mouth forcefully by pinching his nose shut. He was like a tantrum child sometimes. After being caught by Captain Ukitake in that embarrassing scenario, he opted to eat willingly with silent complaints aimed at her through his heated glaring. Her new captain, however, was a whole different persona who didn't nag at her strange tactics for success. The afternoon was then free so she could begin her two days off work but filled those days with activities to occupy herself from boredom. Later on, she would meet up with Retsu's class and couldn't wait, cheering happily, "I better get started so I don't get there late."

* * *

Ruka's flower arrangement meeting went smoothly and she received a satisfactory review from Retsu. She loved that club more than any other! The friendly environment was easy to blend into and she didn't have to worry about screwing up since Retsu helped all of her students gladly without complaint unlike a certain dark-haired captain. Another perk was having Rangiku in the class and the two hugged like old giggling schoolgirls every time they met until Ruka was suffocated by her friend's large breasts due to her short height. She had no idea how Captain Hitsugaya survived the tight lung crushing hugs and lived to tell the tale, only to receive more the next day. Happy to be around her friend again, time flew by for the two and she clung to Rangiku like a lost dog after class for being banned from partying. It sucked to obey and not disappoint Sajin but it was for her own good. . .or so her zanpakuto prattled.

Once it was time for another activity club, she released her iron grip reluctantly and promised to be in Rangiku's upcoming club meeting. So then she was off to her next clubhouse. . .which happened to be next door and lead by the same captain. Wasn't Retsu just the greatest at cutting travel time? She'd carried her little creation happily to the room with a musical instrument case in hand ready to begin the lesson with Retsu. Unfortunately, this class turned out to be horrible after two meetings because she couldn't play a half-decent note despite Retsu's directions and tutoring.

_Okay, I can do it this time_, she thought confidently and smiled at Retsu who sat before the class. _Believe, Ruka!_

She blew into her shakuhachi flute of bamboo, preferring string and woodwind instruments out of all, but it only whistled a piercing off-key note that made the other members flinch and groan painfully at the loud sound. So much for believing in yourself. Determination was a quality deep inside her calculative mind but she had to call it quits when even Retsu Unohana couldn't manage to keep a serene smile on her face. Coming to an abrupt stop, Ruka quickly replaced her flute back in its case as embarrassment crossed her cheeks in light pink blush and decided to sketch out her flower design creation as the rest continued with the class. It would keep her distracted and leave the class in peace as they created beautiful music. Lucky them.

Retsu came to sit next to her minutes later to see why she was the only one not playing an instrument and asked softly, "You gave up, Ruka?"

She put her notepad and pencil down on the floor, brushing her fingers over the edges of the pad and slumped her shoulders. Defeat in any manner was unacceptable to her (mainly to her ego) and regretted giving up a skill she couldn't achieve. So much for the 'believe to achieve' pep Sajin gave. Quietly, she answered meekly, "Yes, I don't want to deafen you and the class anymore. I've tried all week at home to get better but I gave up before eardrums exploded and got charged with a fine."

The healer smiled at her concern and noticed all of the items she carried from other activities of the day. A small gray bag on the floor was stuffed with paperwork as books piled out, plastic vials were attached securely to her blue sash as it draped from shoulder to waist, and a wooden sword lied next to her sheathed zanpakuto. Raising a thin eyebrow, she inquired gently, "I've noticed you've taken on _many_ activities since your return. Is that your way of avoiding your time with the ninth division?"

"You're good at deciphering people" Ruka murmured with a kind smile and trusted her with the truth. She was the little ugly duckling seeking acceptance and Retsu was constantly there to guide her. Twiddling her thumbs over her lap, she admitted shyly, "I don't like it there very much and there's no one to talk to except my captain. I like to talk to people. . .after I become used to their company, that is. If I try to join a conversation, they switch to topics I know nothing about. Talk about awkward and feeling out of place. The seated officers aren't any better and the third hates my guts. I'm sure if she had laser vision, she would've struck me dead my first week here. "

"Have you tried to join some of the clubs they're in?" the healer suggested with a hint of slyness, patting her back comfortingly but the other woman shook her head. Retsu assumed the correct guess by her nervousness around anyone unknown. The brunette needed a serious push in the right direction and she would try to work her subtle charms to get the ball rolling.

"No, I joined a whole bunch that didn't have them but my old friends only" she muttered despondently and frowned, looking up at her desperately for sage advice. If they weren't in public, she'd be on the floor hugging Retsu's knees like a lost puppy but wouldn't cause a scene to cause the captain mortification. She didn't give a damn about embarrassing herself but her loved ones were another story completely. Anxiously, she asked with a hopeful face, "What do I do? I need the heavenly wisdom that only you can provide."

Ruka leaned forward expectantly for whatever words Retsu could pass on to ease the burden. . .

"First, maybe you should consider giving up this club and choose another with your comrades in it" Retsu spoke lightly and Ruka already knew she'd failed horribly at her instrument. Life did indeed get a kick out of biting people on the ass. There was no hope to better herself and she knew better than to argue that. The captain patted her back lightly with comfort and eased the crack in her broken pride with her soft-spoken voice, "You don't have to master everything, Ruka."

"But I want to" she pouted childishly but handed over the black leather case containing the flute to the captain. There was no point in arguing about a skill she couldn't understand in the slightest sense and she couldn't force the right section of her brain to master its musical talent. True, experimental surgeries could fix it in a jiff but she didn't want to lose one attained skill for another. Her blue eyes glared at her small miniscule hands and cursed her slim little fingers for not coordinating well. Sure, they were great at studying specimens at close range with their dexterity but not for working with large objects. Tucking her short brown strands behind her ears, Ruka told her tiredly, "Maybe I _should_ give up some activities, I keep running back and forth every day until I'm wiped out. That's saying something with my crazy endless energy. Plus, the workload the captain gives me fills up whatever extra free time I get and I just signed up for more paper duty to help him out. I'm pretty much rushing from dawn till midnight across the Seireitei."

"The wanderlust is leaving then?" Retsu chuckled softly and the younger woman nodded sadly with regret. Well, at least she was improving on her new life there and Retsu would be there to give her a nudge ever so often. Heaven knows she needed it. Her warm blue eyes matched the similar shade of Ruka's and counseled, "Life is continuously changing and you will adjust with time. You've been gone for many years but this is your home now, permanently. It's not here to spite you, Ruka. Embrace each day as you learn and accommodate new information and faces, this is your abode of safety."

"It's not the Seireitei that worries me, it's the ninth division" she mumbled sullenly and shrugged lightly. She would no longer be a free bird and her roaming days were over. If she could materialize the feeling, it would be a poor bird having its wings literally clipped off by metal scissors and left to stand on its own. Yeah, it wasn't made to be pretty. The Seireitei never made her uncomfortable, far from it, but she felt tiny in her new home. Then again, a lieutenant's quarters were much bigger than a seated officer's but she shoved the idea into literal and metaphorical categories. The walls surrounding the division made it feel like a prison unless she left for the open range of the large streets that connected all of the divisions. Giving her a weak smile, Ruka sighed with an air of uselessness, "I do the work the captain asks to run things smoothly but I don't connect with them. I'm more of an add-on to the division than an equal. With Sajin's division, they knew me and I knew all their names, we were all family. I tell myself that my main duty is to be at my captain's side and not fraternize with those I have no need of. . .but my emotional side for human comfort tends to beat up my logical computer of a brain."

"Give it time, I'm sure they'll grow fond of you as we have" Retsu assured fondly and patted her cheek like a mother would to a child as Ruka pouted skeptically with puffed out cheeks. The healer hoped she wouldn't blow up someone else's quarters this month after healing the poor third seat of seventh squad. The young man had burst his eardrums from the explosion due to his close range of the detonation site and Lieutenant Iba had lost his voice yelling out orders to him and had been ordered to use a chalkboard to speak for a few weeks.

Pointing to the door, she suggested gently, "Why don't you take a walk, clear your mind, and eat a snack before the Women's Association meeting? And do let go of some of your clubs, it'll relieve your ongoing stress. If you end up ill on one of my hospital beds, I won't be so nice."

"I wish I could carry you in my pocket to give me daily advice" Ruka gushed affectionately and hugged the captain despite they were in the middle of a class. She'd already caused one ruckus, what would another do? She wouldn't be coming back anyway and was sure nobody cared about her actions. Letting her go, she grabbed her carrier bag, tied her zanpakuto back on, and strapped the wooden sword onto her back. If anything, she looked more like a trader for the divisions but only grinned at the prospect of being one. Hey, anyone could expand their horizon and take a second job. Enthusiastically, she told her, "I'm going to give uncle Jushiro the biggest life portrait of you to hang in his office!"

"Ruka" the captain shushed with a coy rose blush on the apples of her cheeks and widened her gentle smile to add craftily, "Make sure it's in pastel paints."

* * *

"So the choices are calendars, makeovers, talent shows-"

The door burst open as Nanao spoke to the women about financial matters and Lieutenant Iba bounded inside like a rampaging maniac on the loose with his own Men's Association group in tow. How did they find them so easily, you ask? Simple, they had decided to give Byakuya a break on his relentless search of their hideouts. He'd caved in one of the hidden tunnels recently to block that passage but there were too many already created for him in to actually do any damage so they decided to return to their old headquarters for the time being. The women merely spared them an uninterested glance as if they were bothersome ants while Nanao cleared her throat roughly on purpose and ignored them completely.

"As I was saying, the fundraising-"

"Don't ignore me, Ise!"

Nanao turned to face him irritably, slapping her notes onto the podium, and snapped frigidly, "What brings your _unwelcome_ presence here, lieutenant? Can't you see we're in the middle of a very important meeting?"

Ruka stared at her best friend in awe for being completely bold against the horde of men and grinned evilly, knowing how she attacked verbally with the ferocity of a bear when she was threatened. That image wasn't too bad in her head and soon, a furry black bear with glasses mauled a screaming Iba to a bloody pulp at the podium in her mind. Her eyes glazed over giddily as she faded into the depths of her mind but Rangiku snapped her fingers to bring her back to life.

"That's exactly why we came!" Iba yelled hysterically and Yachiru flung one of her sandals at him to shut up as she sat on a stool next to the podium. His yelling really annoyed her, she wanted happy people there; not grumpy old men. The man glared at the pink-haired child, who had Ruka's humongous goodie bag settled in her lap (its depth was endless which Yachiru loved), and ranted on, "Your little group is taking most of our money again! It's hard enough to compete with the other clubs _and_ the Research Department at the same time! Something has to change, Ise!"

Nanao gave them a stern glare for his immature attitude and replied haughtily, "Maybe the Captain-Commander holds _our _group as more important. We have been around much longer and we've earned our society."

"Men have the same rights too!" he protested and his group agreed with angry retort and a punch in the air. Too much testosterone, anyone? Pointing to Nanao, he crossed his arms in a stubborn stance and stated with a challenging grunt, "So we're here to solve the problem."

"Does he have to yell out everything? He could pass as Sentaro's double" Kiyone complained from the back of the room, not taking the liberty to tiptoe around it.

"Maybe he's on the male version of PMS?" Rangiku snickered to Ruka and both women muffled their girlish giggles from their seats in the second row. Soi Fon kicked the back of their chairs once the noise reached her super hearing of doom and they quieted instantly. No one wanted to piss her off.

"We're having fundraising options" Nemu told the men from her seat in the first row without looking up as she scribbled down the minutes of the meeting with quick-like precision. She was flawless with directions and no one really wanted to write for an hour after working all day. No one except poor old Nemu. The lieutenant never uttered a complaint about her task either and Yachiru was fine with it. The other women were pretty sure it was because of her loyal mental programming. Decades ago, Ruka was approached to be secretary but she threw one of her handmade bombs out the window covertly and jumped out of it to investigate. She left on a self-appointed mission to the Brazilian Seireitei the next day. No one besides Nemu has _willingly _taken the secretary post unless they were in their darkest hours with nothing left to do. . .and possibly drunk.

"Fundraising? Hey, we should do that!" Tetsuzaemon declared to his team for approval and the women sighed exasperatedly to their intrusive presence and most of all, their loud jabbering. Couldn't they get an hour of peace without somebody barging in and making a scene? Who would be next, Kenpachi performing a half-naked fire dance out in the courtyard? Rangiku wanted to try on new makeup (catalog ordered, of course), Soi Fon wanted to flip through her Yoruichi albums, Yachiru wanted to eat candy without biting someone's hand off, Kiyone wanted to sleep (the barrack walls were paper thin and Sentaro yells in his sleep across the hall), Momo wanted to draw, and Ruka wanted to read (much to Rangiku's horror).

"Isn't there _anyone_ smart in your group, Shades?" Yachiru scolded the man and stuck out her candy coated red tongue. Flinging clear candy wrappers at him, she snubbed protectively, "These are our ideas! Find your own, cheater! And get out of here!"

"She's so cute" Ruka whispered adorably to herself about the spunky child as Yachiru tried to kick out the man with her handy arsenal. Too bad Captain Zaraki found her first or else she would've snatched the little hell raiser as her own. Man, if she ever had a kid, it would have to take after Yachiru.

Soi Fon scowled disdainfully at Iba's shabby and unappealing outfit (was that supposed to scream the epitome and raw nature of a man?) and looked away from the men to sneer, "Ugh, why don't you wear a nagajuban underneath that? It'll save us from going blind."

"Major turnoff" Rangiku cringed with a curled top lip in their direction and blocked the view with her perfectly manicured hands. Ruka simply avoided looking at her uncle Jushiro and captain to avoid the discomfort given by their appearance. They could sway women all they wanted but not in front of her. Nuh-uh. She would live with better health and longer days without that sight. Those garbs were too exposing in her opinion, mostly since Shunsui and Sajin wanted her to be a conservative gal.

Kiyone, however, pointed to both Captain Abarai and Hisagi with a cheeky grin, "Except you two. You go ahead and keep that on. I won't mind one bit."

"Kiyone!" Isane scolded indignantly to her younger sister's bold words but the blond shrugged casually. It wasn't her fault they were born with naturally good looks.

"What? They're hot" she replied back in a whisper and crossed her arms huffily as Isane slumped in her chair.

Rangiku stood up between both groups for a peaceful compromise (and to get them the hell out) and spoke loudly, "Look, why don't we each pick a fundraiser and stick to it? Hmm?"

Both groups looked at each other. . .and exploded into a clamor of arguments blaming the opposite side for arguing in the first place. Rangiku whistled piercingly to shut them all up and yelled angrily, "All right, I'm reading the choices and both groups will choose one. No objections! Nemu, write down everything for further reference in case they're drunk and for possible future court purposes."

"I'm not drunk!" Tetsuzaemon exclaimed in outrage to the blond, the high pitch noise causing Nanao to grit her teeth irritably from the close range. Ruka shook her head at him, knowing Rangiku was prone to anger at disrespect towards a lady, and only stared blankly when her friend punched the man in the gut. Seconds later, she was back in her seat as if nothing had transpired while the poor guy held his stomach painfully and Ruka hoped she hadn't fused his liver into his stomach. From her corner, Nanao couldn't help but thank the blond mentally.

Izuru spoke up nervously with guilt written on his face, "I may be a little tipsy-"

Renji slapped his forehead embarrassedly for the blurt and turned to his lieutenant to hiss, "You seriously have to start working on that drinking problem of yours."

"Yeah but-"

"Stop talking-"

"Renji-"

"You will address me as Captain Amazing-"

Izuru's blond eyebrow shot up behind his bangs and asked uncertainly, "Are you sure _you're_ not the one who's drunk?"

Nemu ignored their conversations, perfectly trained after years of her father's wild ranting which made this seem like a pesky mosquito bite, and began to read the list slowly in monotone, "We have makeovers-"

"Pass" was the men's unanimous response.

"Yearly calendars-"

"Hmm, we'll let you take it, ladies" Renji smirked slyly and Rangiku instantly ripped off Ruka's sandal without warning to chuck it at his head, "Ow!"

"My shoe!" the brunette blurted as her friend smiled innocently to prevent an argument. The sight of a captain being injured by a lightweight shoe was funny in itself and she decided to let it be and enjoy the redhead's humiliation.

Renji held his head to massage the spot, kicking Ruka's petite 22 size sandal back to her, as Nemu continued blandly, "Talent show-"

"We'll take it and embarrass the hell out of you!" Tetsuzaemon exclaimed loudly, making the women flinch again and cover their ears at the last straw, and his men nodded agreeably. He would finally have something to rub their faces in and show the Seireitei that his society wasn't useless!

"We'll take makeovers!" Yachiru finalized with her presidential powers that prevented any form of questioning and the women winced at the decision. They weren't qualified to give makeovers (except maybe the guru who was Rangiku) and who would give them the needed products to do so? Nanao just knew the project was asking for trouble before they started.

"But what if no one comes?" Ruka asked uneasily since she didn't have any experience whatsoever and used Rangiku's tips day-by-day. The idea of jumping out the window to escape the club itself enticed her but she brushed it aside.

_Like Retsu said, I have to tough it out_, she thought regretfully and silently slumped into her chair. _Well, if I make someone bald, at least I can say it'll grow back. Just look at my hair, it looks like I chopped it up in the dark with a blunt scissor and blowtorched it._

The pink-haired girl giggled at Ruka's question and told her innocently with a trademark smirk that said otherwise, "Silly, they won't come, we'll drag 'em in."

Ruka's eyebrows shot up to that scenario and imagined the nearest man before her, Captain Abarai, being dragged by his arms from behind against his will by Soi Fon and Nemu as he screamed desperately with full stricken horror, _'Please! No! Nooo! Oh, no. . .for the love of. . .by all that is holy! Nooo!'_

_Ha, that is kind of funny, _Ruka thought mischievously since the man had a full head of long thick hair that just screamed 'cut me'. If she was a redhead, she would've been inclined to take scissors to that gorgeous mane and make herself a wig from it.

"Now that it's settled, please leave or you'll be kicked out" Nanao ordered the other group coldly and pointed to the open doorway like a teacher would to a scolded ill-mannered student. She was glad her captain wasn't in this crazy group yet because it would've been impossible to remove him. If they managed to sign him up, it would be over for Nanao because she was sure he'd track her down to proclaim his undying love for her. The women's society and the library were the only fortresses of solitude from the eight captain since he tended to throw love notes shaped as paper airplanes through her open windows in the barracks. Last week, she was stabbed in the eye and almost scratched the sensitive corneal tissue which earned him a pail of hot water over his head. With pursed lips, the incident fueled her anger as she snapped, "Out!"

"With pleasure!" the other lieutenant shot back and ushered his horde of men out.

They watched the group leave with annoyed glares of uniformity pointed at their exiting backs and Nanao sighed before continuing coolly, "Now that that unpleasantness is behind us. . .who will be our first client?"

"I vote Kenny!" Yachiru piped up cheerily, nodding hastily to all of them, and the women glanced at each other nervously. No one would try or _try_ to try to attempt that. Not even Soi Fon (she didn't think the captain was capable of 'pretty' unlike her glamorous idol, Yoruichi). The girl rolled her brown eyes at their fearful reluctance to cast a vote and sighed unhappily with puffy cheeks, "Fine, I pick Baldy!"

"Anybody else?" Nanao called out to the small group and they crossed their arms in thought. She balanced her pencil in between her fingers to wait for their choice. Well, it was better than hearing those stupid men bray like donkeys. Women were much more collected than their male counterparts after all.

"Omaeda, he needs it" Soi Fong put forth and shuddered lightly at the image of him wearing that horrendous outfit with the men. She reminded herself to make an order to have it burned or risk death, that would rattle his attempt of trying to appear appealing. After all the crap he put her through, he needed to suffer under her- the _society's_ wrath. With narrowed gray eyes, she said disgustedly, "It took hours to clean the bread crumbs out of my hair today."

"Captain Ukitake, he needs to glow!" Kiyone added in with hope glimmering in her eyes for the beloved captain (plus, she'd get bonus points against that idiot Sentaro) and the women nodded agreeably in consideration to the sickly man. Everybody loved Jushiro Ukitake inside and outside of the Seireitei.

"And Captain Unohana can help us" Isane told them brightly and Nemu wrote the thirteenth captain down on her notepad along with any side conversations. She wasn't missing a beat of it.

"Captain Kurotsuchi" Ruka brought up with an amused grin, causing the women to become silent at the sadistic captain's name, and she shrunk into her chair further for causing the abrupt spotlight. Were they scared of the man that his name couldn't be uttered now? However, Rangiku broke the silence by erupting into loud laughter to the ludicrous idea. Ruka blinked at her hysterical guffaws that didn't pause for a second while Nanao tapped her pencil impatiently on the podium.

Minutes passed before the blond finally settled into tired giggles and held onto her stomach before her sides split and accidentally fell off the chair. That little brunette sure lightened her mood after a tedious day. Slumping over Ruka's shoulder, she inhaled deeply as her arm wrapped around her slim shoulders to sputter, "Oh honey, we can't perform miracles like that."

"And we want to live" Nanao pointed out which all of the women agreed unanimously with and she told Nemu to cross it off. Ruka groaned in protest as Rangiku began laughing again and her best friend shot her a warning glare from across the room. Ruka simply gave her an innocent coy grin and ushered for her to continue.

"So Baldy, Fatty, and Snowflake it is!" Yachiru told them decisively, needing to dig into her goodie bag already, and they nodded to conclude that point of business. Jumping down onto the floor, she snatched up her discarded boomerang sandal and declared happily, "Break time!"

"But, President Kusajishi-" Nanao began and pointed to her papers where other issues were yet to be discussed.

"Break time!" Yachiru shouted defiantly and hauled her large bag towards the door. Nanao quietly nodded in defeat and the women relaxed in their chairs to have their desperately sought leisure time.

* * *

"Why aren't any of you giving out ideas?!" Lieutenant Iba yelled frantically to his group. The men shrugged unsurely and he sat down on a wooden crate to sigh in failure yet again. Great, they were pulling desperately at strings now. The women had everything down to perfection along with having the largest room for a clubhouse. He barely saw them in there for half of their meetings! Meanwhile, his group was stuck having meetings inside a _storage_ room. They could barely fit in chairs for each member as the wooden crates took up most of the space. No matter how much he put his society on the club agendas with the chair people, none of them voted with him. Sasakibe held more loyalty to his captain's tea ceremony society than the one he was in. . .but at the same time, he brought tea so they wouldn't dehydrate in the hot storage room so that let him off the hook. No one wanted to question Captain Unohana's choice and suffer her silent wrath of no return. And Iba didn't know what the heck went on in Captain Kuchiki's head half the time to sway his vote either. Hell, all of them usually voted to take a chunk from his budget to give to the women's group _and_ Kurotsuchi's department.

_He doesn't even have a society to being with!_, he thought furiously and yanked on his dark hair. _He shouldn't even be on the budget!_

"Well?!" he demanded from his group as their brains tried to fart out a thinking bubble. Their sloppy faces, gaping fish-mouths, and half-closed eyes didn't increase his confidence one bit.

Finally. . .

"Sing-a-longs?" Captain Abarai suggested unsurely but the other man shot him a seething glare. That was the best his team had? They weren't children! The redhead matched the intense stare and shot back defensively, "Well, it's something!"

"The women are going to destroy us" Captain Ukitake sighed hopelessly and slumped into his chair. Those women were a force to be reckoned with and even his delicate flower, Retsu, could turn into a powerful nemesis.

"Look, each of us can find an act and enlist more people to give a good show" Captain Hisagi suggested and looked at their incredibly small posse. Yeah, their talent show wasn't going to work out if they couldn't find willing participants. Who the hell would want to see an eight man show? And that's if nobody backed out! Furrowing his dark brows, he muttered dryly, "A _lot_ more."

"Face it, we're dead" Izuru told his friend with a despairing sigh and began to sulk in his chair with his usual melancholic face.

"Don't be a pussy, Izuru" Renji scolded him gruffly and crossed his arms to think, tapping his fingers against his sleeves in thought. What would knock people off their feet? Okay, stripping would have them jailed overnight. That wouldn't do. Leaning back in his chair, he grumbled, "There has to be something. . ."

The door to their small clubhouse opened and Ruka stumbled inside with a cheesy grin, her pack of activity items clacking against her side. Her twinkling blue eyes noticed the sullen expressions on their faces and she grilled them sharply, "Don't tell me you quit already? It's only been an hour! Are your brains that slow on processing information? No wonder we're beating you."

"Don't rub it in, Ruka" Tetsuzaemon groaned and waved her away so she could leave. She wasn't the type to mock others but the image of any woman at this point brought his thoughts back to the meeting.

Shuhei's mind finally blew a smart bubble and he shot out of his seat, frightening everyone around him with his quick speed. Why hadn't he thought of it before? Ruka's eyes widened as he bounded over to her and didn't expect to hear the plead in his voice, "Kyoraku, you're great at thinking over stuff. Can you help us plan a talent show but keep it from the Women's Association at the same time so they can't torment us?"

"It's been years since we've had something to use against them!" Izuru cried out from behind to add in and she tried to hide a smile to his shrill voice. The others soon joined in as Shuhei stared at his lieutenant hopefully. She was sharp in any situation requiring intellect and he gave her the best desperate expression he could muster to sway her decision. Plus, being her captain gave him a bonus point.

Ruka mulled it over, tapping her right foot against the floor, and watching each of the men to study them. The women were her allies and friends but the guys in this group were also her friends, colleagues, and not to mention her boss. Tough choice. Weighing the pros and cons heavily, she decided, "I can help design a set, compose a list of participants and their acts, snacks and refreshments- Captain-Commander Yamamoto likes those, you know- and everyone loves explosions so we can work in some fireworks for flair."

The men cheered with claps and Ruka turned to her captain's relieved face. His puppy-dog face hadn't worked on her decision the slightest and laid her hand on his bicep to give him the unfortunate news, "Captain, don't ever try that face again for both our safeties. It's liable to give cardiac arrest rather than aid. I suggest you practice your expressions before a mirror, it can help quite a bit. If I wasn't your lieutenant, I would think you're in serious constipation rather than need of aid."

From behind, Renji cackled at him to exploit, "Ah, that's priceless!"

Captain Ukitake unexpectedly hugged her tightly and she cried out against the affectionate but constricting bear hug with a wail, "Ah! Uncle, you're killing me!"

He released her shorter form with a sheepish Ukitake trademark smile and patted her head like a toddler as she balanced herself unsteadily. Her uncles tall heights always caused problems when it came to hugging due to her miniscule form but she loved them nonetheless. Why hadn't she gotten the Kyoraku genes to be tall? Massaging her aching sides, she looked to him to groan, "For a sickly man, you sure can crush."

"So you'll help us?" Iba asked desperately, his voice reaching out to Ruka like a lost puppy. For a moment, she could even imagine Goro's furry face on his body but shooed that disturbing picture out of her head before she cackled like a maniac. She had an image to obtain to prove women were indeed much stronger and skilled. After all, they asked _her_ for help. She could only blink awkwardly as he hunched down to meet her short height and flicked his forehead to widen the personal space. It was for his own protection rather than hers so she wouldn't accidentally beat someone's face in. It was almost mandatory for her to do so after punching two seated officers of seventh, dislocating vertebrate disks for one unlucky messenger, kicking in her uncle's kneecap before dinner, and cracking one of Byakuya's ribs when he tried to catch her off-guard.

Ruka smiled at him and clasped her hands behind her back to agree kindly, "You've been my lieutenant and served Sajin loyally; anyone who does that is taken care of in my book unless it consists of killing someone, maiming someone, reeling in your supposed soul mate, and bringing people back from the dead." The men stared at her oddly for the last remark and she skipped forward with a nervous chuckle, "Plus, you've given me some training to kick butt. Of course I'll help you, dummy, and Captain Hisagi's reputation must be protected and if he wants this association to last. . .so be it."

"Don't I have the greatest lieutenant?" Shuhei smirked proudly, wrapping his left arm over her shoulders, and Izuru cried out in protest to the comment. He was good too! Why did he never get recognition? Renji simply grinned smugly and ordered him to do all of his bidding. Ruka smiled at the silly but interesting group and despite her best efforts, she couldn't help but like her new captain. He was funny during their conversations and never grouchy which were qualities she liked in companions. Mostly, he never ran out of topics to speak about and she was never bored in his company. Heck, she might just switch from her spot in Byakuya's office where she did nothing but eat her lunch and watch him write. Yeah, not much going on there.

"I'll make sure you succeed, sir" she assured him politely and he grinned triumphantly, crushing her body with his grip around her shoulders. Not again! Her teeth grit uncomfortably as she cried out, "I'm going to have disjointed bones after this. No more manly bone crushing hugs!"

"Whoops, didn't realize my own strength there" he apologized to the disheveled woman and patted her back with a friendly smile in case she thought of attacking. She gave a half-hearted smile but her eyes betrayed that she was getting tired of the hugging.

Taking a step back, she narrowly missed a flying Iba whom grabbed his teammates into a manly hug and declared, "We'll annihilate the Women's Association."

"I'm still in it, doofus, so pipe down" Ruka reminded tightly but amusement filled her face and her captain pulled her aside for another task. Well, it was better than receiving a hug of doom which the men seemed keen to. Her feet skittered across the floor as she kept to his long strides and gave him a calm glance, ready for instructions.

"We need the articles and illustrations for the Seireitei Communication magazine today so I'd like for you see Lieutenant Hinamori, Lieutenant Iba- scratch it, I'll get his- Lieutenant Ise, Captain Kyoraku, Captain Kurotsuchi, and Captain Ukitake-forget his too, I'll pick it up since I'm heading there and meet me in the project room as soon as you can" he ordered and Ruka nodded to his every word, taking it into mind nervously. Her stomach sunk as she realized she would step foot in division twelve again. Shuhei counted off the list in his mind and nodded to her to make sure, "Can you handle that?"

"Of course, sir, those are my duties and they will be completed" she replied with a bow that had him blushing at the cordial respect (he liked that recent perk of being captain). Her eyebrow raised amusingly to his modesty and lowered her tone to ask casually, "What time is the deadline?"

"Dinnertime unless we need to pull an all-nighter so be ready for that" he answered her with his own authoritative tone and nodded to her approvingly. His lieutenant was coming in handy for all kinds of tasks and complimented, "You're doing wonderful work, Kyoraku. Keep it up."

"Thank you, sir" she smiled, pleased that she was fitting in, and left the men to their rambunctious celebrating.

* * *

Shinigami Extras:

"I can do this" Ruka assured Captain Unohana as she tried to play the flute again, eager to impress her maternal figure. Retsu tried to smile at the poor woman but it faltered when she pitched a high painful note. Ruka raised her hand and apologized again, "Sorry, it slipped. Let me try again."

_Oh, poor Ruka_, the healer thought with dismay as she played again. No, the quality was not getting better with time. _Failure just isn't in her personality._

The ninth lieutenant blew into the instrument just as Hanataro Yamada walked by with healing tonics held within glass containers. Ruka's high and off-key note instantly shattered the glasses into thousands of pieces and he cried out in surprise, almost dropping the tray. He stared in shock as his tray held nothing but glass shards and green liquid spilling out of the tray.

Ruka gulped nervously and put her instrument away, telling the captain, "Maybe I should try a quieter instrument."

Retsu smiled in relief to the change of heart and pulled out a small drum, handing it to Ruka. The lieutenant couldn't help but compare her sneaky smile to Captain Ukitake's as she said cheerfully, "A drum can be played softly and it won't damage the eardrums or break glass."

Ruka's smile became a frown and she mumbled, "A drum? That's not even in an orchestra."

"Every instrument has its important role to play" Retsu assured gently and the other woman nodded with slight reluctance. She turned to a quiet Hanataro, who still held his tray, and asked, "Yamada?"

"I think I have glass in my eye" he whimpered and Ruka then decided to keep the drum.  


* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for the lateness of the chapter, I've been hooked playing a bunch of video games I splurged on buying during the holidays and overcoming a cold (at least I hoped it was a cold and not the dreaded H1N1). All righty, I hope I kept most of the characters in character (especially Izuru, I don't want to make him too whiny but I see him as the guy who stays behind and worries while his crazy pals, Renji and Shuhei, jump into a pool of sharks). Mayuri will pop out in the next chapter and will literally kick Ruka's ass (maybe he's grouchy for waiting for his entrance for a while?). Thanks for reading and your reviews, I appreciate the feedback. Bye!


	10. Branded By The 12th Captain

CHAPTER 10

**Branded By The 12th**** Captain**

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Ruka grinned at the adorable drawings of Momo Hinamori and slipped them back into the filing folder to protect them- there was no way she'd screw up this assignment. She'd already gotten her best friend's and uncle's article for the magazine. Nanao had told her all about her uncle's sunken romance novels (three so far) and she still laughed about it. He was so kooky with his claims that this particular one would hit it big in popularity and gave her his usual warning about entering the 12th division. She'd heard it so many times it fell on deaf ears but Ruka assured she'd be fine. That's what a zanpakuto was for, after all.

"Can I Borrow A Feeling?" she chuckled with a snigger to the novel's title and shrugged to herself as she clutched the folder against her chest. Looking to the bright afternoon sky, she mumbled dryly with a visible shudder, "Though I don't see why his pictures are popular and I'm not going to try unless I want my mind raped."

She stopped before the twelfth division offices after sensing both Kurotsuchis' reiatsu within the area. Odd. It surprised her that they weren't working at the Research Department, knowing how much he enjoyed tinkering with his experiments. There were times when he'd wake up in the middle of the night to scribble down new ideas while she fought the urge to kick him out of bed. Such interesting times. She began to walk around the area idly to hide her presence and delay the inevitable reunion for a few minutes longer. He was the only missing piece to her captain's magazine and she patted her folder protectively, wishing the paper item could talk and do it for her. She would complete her task somehow and keep her word. Frankly, she did look forward to helping her captain with the project since it was a new experience for her but the obstacle known as Mayuri Kurotsuchi wasn't. That was a huge road block for her.

_What do I say? I don't know if I can see him face-to-face_, she thought nervously and prickles of dread settled into her stomach. A tiny gurgle told her mealtime would result with bad indigestion. Closing her eyes, she paced in a tight little circle, _I can't do this!_

_Are you scared of a captain? Of him?_, Monosugoikaze busted into her thoughts with his baritone voice. For a zanpakuto who only woke up to train, he sure knew how to pick his timing this time.

_Oh great, now you decide to pop in_, she stated sarcastically and felt a static shock filter from her hilt to her skin. She rubbed her stinging side instantly, feeling the residual energy he left with her fingertips, and exclaimed, _Ow! You know the rules, no attacking unless I have an opponent or my back is turned._

_You never give me good targets_, he scoffed snippily and she grinned to his stubborn manner. His voice always held a tone of elegance but his words were certainly far from it; not that he cared what she thought. How she loved her grumpy but wise zanpakuto. _The last one I had was that boring hollow in Germany and I didn't go into shikai for it. We need stronger opponents, Ruka. I'm growing incredibly bored and you won't like it when I'm angry._

_I love a good fight too but we have to be in the Seireitei for a while until I get an assignment_, she explained warmly to his false threat (he never proved them true anyway) and felt the usual emotional connection filled with crankiness from her zanpakuto. _I'll train you soon when evaluations are due in the ranks, okay? I'm pretty sure you can last that long._

_No, they're not worthy of me_, he declined airily with a snort and she laughed at his smug attitude. There were times when she seriously considered how he could be her other half. _Here's an idea: Let me fight your old flame._

_Are you insane?! He's a captain, you're not ready for that yet_, she yelled in reprimand and shook her head at his reckless idea. _Scratch that, you haven't even started! He uses poison-_

_And I can blast it back, he can't touch me_, Monosugoikaze argued confidently and she blamed it on her own personality for nurturing it. Why had she coddled him when he first showed himself to her in the Academy? She should've ordered him around like Byakuya did to that poor zanpakuto of his. Maybe then he wouldn't be so demanding.

_Yes but he'll kill me!_, she shot back sternly with emphasis to her person and sighed tiredly. There was no way he was convincing her on doing that and told him sharply, _Look, I need to be on his good side and not have him throw me into a building._

_You're so dramatic, darling, _he said blandly and yawned boringly as the whole conversation threatened to give him another naptime. _Just give a nice smile, praise him, let him rant, and grab what you need. It's not that hard. It works for Byakuya all the time and he's mastered a poker face._

_You don't make a very good therapist by giving negative reinforcement, _she muttered dryly and felt another shock to her side. _Stop it!_

_Either find him or you'll keep getting more of this_, he ordered smartly and she groaned irritably to his manipulation. She really hated it when he was right. _I love you too, precious._

_You're getting old, Monosugoikaze_, Ruka mocked dryly and another jolt was sent up her arm this time. Damn, those shocks were getting stronger. Too bad she couldn't install a new sense of humor in him. _All right, I'm going!_

Cutting off the conversation, she traveled the grounds in a frump but he was right, it had to be done. Still, he could've gone without shocking her left side into numbness. Meekly, nerves knotted her stomach again as her skin prickled anxiously and got a hold of herself before a panic attack settled in. The paths were completely void of life and she hoped they hadn't moved the offices since her last visit. Spotting a hint of purple nearby, she flash stepped up to the person instantly and breathed in relief when Nemu stared back calmly with her green eyes. How had Kurotsuchi created such a living and breathing being? It was brilliant work.

"I've been looking for you or your father" Ruka smiled politely and Nemu nodded silently as she listened. Her eerie calm unsettled Ruka since her father was anything but that. During their courting years, there was one instance where he chucked tea cups at the wall for lacking the last formula to an experiment and Ruka smashed his cup over his head to give him a taste of his own medicine. Those were fun times. With a friendly face, she complimented, "You really are a quiet one, lieutenant. Anyway, I need your captain's article for the _Seireitei Communication _magazine today. If you could get it-"

"You'll have to ask him, he usually writes it up a day before the deadline" she interrupted softly and motioned for her to walk forwards with a serene smile. Ruka hadn't expected that answer, hoping she'd fetch it for her but it didn't hook. Damn. Nemu lead the way and informed her, "He's in his office doing paperwork, I'll take you there."

"Wait!" she blurted nervously and the lieutenant turned instantly, her thin eyebrows furrowing at Ruka's sudden hesitance. She scampered over to Nemu like a sneaky child and whispered covertly, "Nemu, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, I will always help any colleagues that I can" she replied gently and smiled slightly at the worrisome woman. Her awkwardness in social settings was obvious and there was an interest innocence about it. The ability for her captain to remember names of past colleagues was ridiculous if he had no use for them and most switched divisions within months. However, when she spoke about the new lieutenant, he'd remembered within seconds and that was indeed very odd to Nemu. The curious part of her mind wanted to know who she was and her old connection to her anti-social father. Gently, she assured the skeptic woman, "No one will overhear us. I assume your inquiry is about my father."

"Yes, everyone here acts crazy when I ask about him" Ruka stated as the mystery boggled her mind and crossed her arms thoughtfully. Sure, she understood how he could be frightening to sane people with the crazy face paint but she didn't find it scary. Strange, yes, but not creepy; she tended to laugh at the goofy expressions he could make back then. Shrugging casually, she told her, "Apart from Zaraki, he's supposed to be the scariest captain here."

_Heck, I hope he hasn't turned into Zaraki and started chopping people down while wearing his hair in spikes_, she thought with a grimace and shuddered mentally. _He does have that weird hair style sense._

"That is the reputation he has built but many create their own distorted images to satisfy their curiosities" Nemu answered simply and motioned for them to continue. Ruka's mind groaned at her awaiting doom as she wondered what he'd do. Would he chase her out? Throw a glass beaker? Snatch her as an experiment? Use bankai? Ignore her? She'd prefer the latter in order to live.

"So what do you like to do around here, Nemu?" she asked gently, hoping to make conversation with the docile woman. The melancholic lieutenant rarely spoke in public from her gathered information (mostly by pestering Nanao until she told her) and Ruka wondered what she did in her spare time. With a friendly smile, she broke the ice by admitting, "I'm still getting the hang of this place."

"I mostly work with my division or the SRDI to further my father's experiments, I was created to follow in his footsteps" she said softly as she studied the shorter woman and Ruka blinked with her own study at how similar the minds of both parent and child were. It was a little eerie to say the least. Her flawless blinking enthralled the brunette as Nemu finished with the same calming tone, "Otherwise, I spend my leisure time with the Women's Association or go to Isane's yoga class."

"I joined that so I'll see you there. . .actually, I took on a boatload to keep me occupied" she chuckled sheepishly as Nemu gave a light smile to the remark and suggested perkily, "Why don't we go eat in Rukongai sometime? I'd really like to get to know you along with the other lieutenants. Yachiru's pretty fond of you and I pretty much do what she says, she's hard to resist with her grins."

Nemu nodded politely and was about to answer with a 'yes' when a sour voice barked from inside the door next to them, "Nemu, you were supposed to be here half an hour ago! Where have you been? I have deadlines to meet!"

_Oh crap, he's in there! I didn't even notice we were here!_, she thought with panic and froze in place before she passed by the open doorway unexpectedly. _I didn't even check for his spirit energy! Bad Ruka!_

_You can't blame me, I'm you!, _her mind shot back and she snapped out of it to press herself against the wooden frame of the office to somehow ward off her presence there.

Ruka watched the lieutenant step into the office quietly while she remained outside, absolutely petrified that he was only a few feet away from her. This was a perfect time for those crappy human soap opera drama cues to enter and build suspense. Gathering the courage she used to fight rampant hollows, she sneaked a tiny peek from the doorway and was able to see the standard captain's desk and chair but spotted an adjoined laboratory next to it. The wooden door leading to the private lab was slightly ajar and she could spot gray tables and all the scientific equipment that was familiar to her. However, she was nervous to the core to enter the room and meet him again.

_It was a century ago, maybe he forgot me_, she thought with a miserable glimmer of hope that wished to grow bigger by the second. _Yeah, with all his tasks, I'm sure I'm long gone-_

"Lieutenant Kyoraku is here to pick up the article for the upcoming _Seireitei Communication_ issue" Nemu told the captain and Ruka pressed herself against the wall, forgetting the sudden courage. She cursed Captain Hisagi for making her come to twelfth instead of letting her grab Iba's article. It was ten times better to argue with him than a mad scientist that could erase all of your files of ever existing in the Soul Society with a simple click of his computer keys. From inside, she could hear quiet incoherent mutters and a shuffling of papers that told her brain he was aggravated already. A cranky Kurotsuchi with a dash of nervous Ruka was not a good combination.

"Lieutenant Kyoraku?" Nemu popped out from the doorway and Ruka jumped instantly causing her spine to crack since she expected it to be the hell-bent captain. The composed woman wasn't fazed by her strange conduct and simply stated, "The captain will see you now."

"Can you stay? I'd like to have a witness if I meet my premature demise" she requested weakly and the lieutenant's eyes opened slightly. Ruka's hands began to sweat instantly and she wringed her obi sash to occupy the jitters. She hid behind Nemu's taller form and took a deep breath to face it all bravely, "Okay, let's go in."

Ruka stepped into the foreboding office, ominous music ringing inside her mind to the dangerous unknown (despite it was just an office but hell, it was Mayuri's not Sajin's), and her eyes went over every specific detail of the office. Mostly, she was looking for hasty emergency exits in case he blocked the doorway. She'd remembered the way Urahara designed his and the current office seemed more like a part of the SRDI rather than a division. She didn't notice Nemu step aside and she kept walking until she bumped into his wooden desk. Her hands went forward and grasped air only as she expected Nemu to be there, making her curse, "Aw, Nemu, if you were gonna leave, I would've brought a chair for protection."

"Still sarcastic as always, aren't you?" Kurotsuchi's voice asked her and she jumped back like a frightened cat when she saw he was behind the desk. . .looking nothing like he did a century ago. The darker black paint had become very prominent over the white on his face while silver metal accents decorated the edges of his jaw line, leading up to his missing ears which had been replaced by smaller rounder ear coverings than what she'd seen before. His face no longer held that boyish quality it held a decade ago and a mature adult now represented the genius he'd held behind his golden eyes as a juvenile. Well, at least his hair was still blue, and he had more of it framed away from his face in a shaggy cut that actually did make him play the part of 'crazy scientist'.

_Okay, so he did change a lot_, she corrected herself stupidly and gave him a quick analyzation. _Huh, the clothes kind of make him look like a pudgy penguin now and a lot more heavier than he really is. Even now his arms are slim like back then._

"I see your dominance over all life hasn't ended" she remarked simply, not letting his new physical changes affect her visibly or his knack for breaking people mentally. It was hard to stay in one spot with a blank face, to ignore everything that had transpired between them, but managed to ask politely, "May I please have the article?"

His blue nails dug into the dark wood of his desk and she tried to hide her surprise when wood shavings peeled underneath his strength as Kurotsuchi snapped acidly, "A century has passed and _this_ is what you have to ask me? How shallow we are, Kyoraku."

"Fine" Ruka grit out quietly and placed her hands on the desk opposite of him to match his intense stare and slumped ominous pose over the desk. She was used to his mind games and attitude after working years with him, not to mention entangling herself romantically to any of his weak moments, and wasn't about to let him come out as the alpha male. Sure, there was discomfort at meeting her old lover but maturity and time would take care of that. With a devilish grin, she gave him a sidelong glance before mocking amusingly, "You've aged quite horribly, Mayuri. It's such a shame. I, however, have roamed freely to expand my horizons without a care."

_That should get under his skin_, she thought pleasingly to her clever teasing. _Now to get my paper and skedaddle away._

His golden eyes narrowed dangerously to the insult and wanted to pry out everything she'd done without him for the last one hundred years. He hoped she regretted her decision to leave the twelfth division for the lesser ones that contributed nothing to the Seireitei in his view. His pearly white teeth grit angrily and he slammed his fist on the hardwood table to demand, "That's all you have to say to me?"

"What else should I say? You were the one at fault, not me" she accused coldly in regards to their falling out and stabbed a finger at his chest. There was no freakin' way he was pinning the blame on her for all of that when he started it all. If anyone was going to live with regret, it would be him. Bitterly, she stated firmly, "You had a choice, captain, and you made it. There is no reason for me to apologize for any of it."

"And yet not once after our so-called camaraderie did you visit" he spat harshly to her past promises and suddenly had the urge to slam her smaller form against the wall to see her cringe. However, the look on her face wasn't outrage but confusion. Nemu kept a close watch on the two before a brawl broke out and her captain was blamed for another casualty in his division. She was getting tired of getting rid of the bodies and wished he'd accepted her proposition of building a body chute. There weren't many that stood up to her father and the woman struck a cord of intrigue in her mind.

"What're you talking about? I came by the division after every assignment from my captain except you told your people not to allow guests while you worked or they'd be killed on sight" Ruka shot back matter-of-fatly, wondering where he got that ridiculous idea. They may have ended a relationship but her scientific mind always sought his for analytical opinions since no one held that plateau of intellect in the Seireitei besides him. His division members had banned her entry back then and though it both stung and enraged her, she'd let it be after a decade of trying. Nonchalantly, she told him, "Pretty tight security I'd say. Besides, I wasn't gonna let the poor saps get killed if I kicked their asses."

Kurotsuchi barked out a dry laugh to her excuse and sneered, "Do you really expect me to believe that, Kyoraku?"

"I did, I'll even prove it to you" she stated boldly to shut him up (really, he was starting to develop a god complex) and scribbled down two accounts on a piece of scrap paper from inside her folder. Kurotsuchi wasn't buying her petty attempt of redemption for a single second, even when she handed it to Nemu. Cockily, she shot the captain a look before telling Nemu with satisfaction, "Go to the correspondence sector and see what they tell you."

_He'll see and then he'll come crawling back. . .well, not really, but it's still a good image_, Ruka thought proudly and crossed her arms to await his next move.

The purple-haired woman looked to her father and he waved his hand to allow her leave. Nemu left quietly without any noise to finish her new task and Ruka realized her only star witness had now left. Double damn. Her blue eyes wandered over his familiar white face but kept her content at knowing he was doing all right incredibly discreet or else he would mock that too. He was notorious in exposing weaknesses whether physical, emotional, or mental, but she wouldn't give him the chance. She kept her gaze locked on him and honestly admitted with a firm tone, "I came to see you but you never allowed it, that was your choice alone. I may have switched divisions but you were still. . ."

She caught herself before admitting anything remotely emotional and cleared her throat, not wanting to reminisce on days of old, and asked simply, "Could I please just have the article?"

Kurotsuchi wasn't going to seek conversation she didn't want and ripped open one of the drawers, almost pulling it out completely, and trailed his fingers over the stack inside to find his two page paper. With a scowl, he shoved it into her hand and disliked the feel of her soft skin against his and grit his teeth even more tightly at the bitter nostalgia. She gave no notice to his tight lipped frown and filed the papers into her folder quietly. Frankly, she didn't want look at him anymore for the sake of having her bruised heart leave unscathed and it was a lot harder than she thought to say nothing to him. A century wasn't enough to prepare her for the confrontation.

"You will be in the Seireitei on permanent status then?" he questioned shrewdly and she nodded once to his inquiry. What else could she say? As a captain, she was expected to answer his questions relating to Seireitei business. Her heart swelled slightly at hearing him ask about her current stay but Kurotsuchi saw the small lift of her eyebrows to recognize the twinge of enthusiasm. He would have none of it and walked towards his private lab as he crushed her hopes by stating coldly, "Make sure our paths don't cross, Kyoraku."

How dare he order her around as if she were his subordinate? Only her captain had such a privilege. She thinned her lips to his command and stomped over to him, gripping his upper arm to face him head on. Narrowing her eyes, she hissed lowly, "After everything I did, you constantly hold yourself above others without consideration. You think you have everything figured out but you don't!"

His white hand gripped her small wrist and squeezed it tightly, purposely applying pressure on her pulse point, but she continued despite the slight pain to snap, "I've been to numerous Seireitei where technology has given me very excellent insights and you're stuck here believing you're the best thing to hit this place! Hell, Urahara's still creating better-"

Kurotsuchi's nerve popped at hearing that accursed name and clamped a hand over her throat. Ruka's face remained unchanged as he squeezed and leaned close to whisper dangerously in her ear, "Never compare that man to me."

"You're right. . .he beats you by a hundred leagues" she sneered coldly to strike a hit on his ego and his hold tightened around her throat as he shoved her against the wall next to the lab. The motion sucked the air out of her lungs but Ruka wasn't one to back down- hell, he taught her not to. Instead, she repressed the pain pressing on her poor windpipe and managed a weak chuckle from her lips that didn't please the scientist one bit and informed, "There are so many ideas that haven't even reached this Seireitei because of your pettiness. Tsk, tsk, but Kurotsuchi _has _to have everything within his grasp alone since he hates sharing. Such an immature quality, captain, I always expected better from you."

Her windpipe already felt the bothersome tickles of dryness but she grit her teeth to tease him with the harsh truth, "If I petitioned to overtake the SRDI, I bet I would nab it in a jiffy with my knowledge alone and I wouldn't mind. Unlike you, I've been trained by the best and I push past my limits despite having little money to splurge on my creations without going poor. Besides, I'm much more of a people person, don't you think?"

"I never withheld anything from you" Kurotsuchi declared as her little threat hit home and his hold tightened incredibly to the point of asphyxiation. He wanted to teach her a lesson for back talking him, _nobody _threatened the twelfth captain without paying with a limb or two. How dare she attempt to usurp what was rightfully his? Her fingers tried to pry his off from her throat but the captain overpowered her without even trying. Oh, destroying her would please his bruised ego immensely as the woman tended to be a private weakness of his.

She saw that murderous glint in his yellow eyes and thrashed against his iron hold to shout, "Mayuri!"

The frightened tone of her voice sent an involuntary small shiver down his spine and he reacted by releasing her from his clutches. Ruka coughed air into her lungs as she fell to the floor, surprised at the strength he'd achieved so far and couldn't help but fear him more than she had before. Tears stung her eyes from both the stinging in her throat and his callous behavior but she kept herself calm, showing no emotion like he'd taught her decades ago. Kurotsuchi damned her permanent return and wanted her to disappear for another decade to simmer down his anger. How he hated to be manipulated subconsciously by her petty emotions and embraced cold logic to dictate his actions as he watched her fallen form on the floor. Well, at least he had the high ground going for him at the moment.

He'd had enough of this useless arguing and ordered coldly, "Go back to ninth, Kyoraku."

She stood up shakily, her system still in shock over what he did, and grabbed her folder gingerly off the wooden floor. Softly, she spoke without sparing him a glance, "I did visit you though Sajin warned me numerous times against it. I wanted to see your technological improvements with your new captaincy but obviously, you had no time for others."

_Guess my hope of him becoming more social went down the drain_, she thought glumly and knew Sajin would give her another lecture for being cross with the man.

"The inventions of the SRDI are in the library archives and Unohana's division, you will find your information _there_" Kurotsuchi stated simply and motioned to the open doorway to be rid of her. He'd lived an entire century without seeing her and another wouldn't bother him. Bluntly, he snapped, "We don't have anything in common anymore so return to your division."

"I wasn't lying when I said I could take the SRDI, you were merely a lieutenant when you became president, remember?" she pointed out sharply and protected her abused throat with her hand in case he wanted to throttle her again for the fact. She lowered her voice as hoarseness settled in and went on, "I have my own private projects and the difference between you and I is the ability to be more socially connected to the other international Seireitei's. Your only connection is this particular place so don't you dare say we have _nothing_ in common! I was your protégé, you were everything to me!"

The words stung that small area in his heart that he'd reserved for her ages ago but he had to make her leave before she made matters worse for him. She always brought catastrophe for him in the emotional sense though her reckless mayhem was never a bother (mostly because he used to partake in her ploys). He walked up to where she stood, avoiding her hurt gaze by glancing past her shoulder, and warned quietly, "Leave or I will kick you out myself, Kyoraku."

"You don't have the balls" she hissed boldly to dare him to do such a thing and he grabbed her by the dark blue scarf tied around her waist. Her body struggled against his in defense, punching, kicking, scratching, even resorting to name calling but he didn't budge as he dragged her out like a tantrum child. First he was choking her and now this?

"Hey! Unhand me, penguin man!" she thrashed wildly as she yelled to high heaven and triumphantly managed to grab a chunk of his thick blue hair in her hand. She didn't release her grip on the battle trophy and wriggled in his grip like a wet eel as Kurotsuchi kept walking. Pain was nothing to him after decades of extreme self-experimentation and he carried her to the edge of the wooden boardwalk.

"I am the sadistic captain of this division, Kyoraku, cross me again and you _will _end up with your entrails on my surgical table" he threatened harshly and proceeded to literally kick her out of his division. Ruka cried out in pain when his toes met the end of her tailbone and he added in his heel to kick her left butt cheek as an extra bonus to make sure she fell onto the grass outside on all fours like a mangy dog.

_That asshole kicked me in the ass!_, Ruka thought in outrage, humiliation, and incredible pain forming in her spine. She managed to get on her knees as the fall left green grass stains on her uniform and gently touched the bottom of her aching back. _Damn bastard, he sure can kick._

"Do not come back" Kurotsuchi warned her frigidly and returned to his office, disappearing flawlessly into the dark room inside. Now he could focus all of his mind into his work and discard everything about Ruka into the recesses of his subconscious where it belonged. To be forgotten and gotten rid of.

Ruka stared at the empty spot where he'd been and painfully climbed to her feet as her spine cried out to the recent abuse. Her face winced lightly to the throbbing as she breathed deeply to soothe her body and dusted herself off with shaky hands. Showing weakness in public was not an option and if she would cry from the pain, she'd do it in her own home.

_Not in front of him_, she thought bitterly with promise as she managed a few steps to accommodate her aching body to the long walk back home. _Not again._

* * *

Ruka entered the large room used for conducting business on the _Seireitei Communication _magazine and gave Captain Hisagi her bent folder as he pinned pages with tacks on a large poster board. He stopped his task of assigning corresponding pages and grabbed it, giving Ruka a puzzled look to her disheveled disposition and opened it to find all the contents inside. Perfect, so that was in order but why. . .

"Did something happen to you, lieutenant?" he asked cautiously, raising an eyebrow to her appearance. He'd just seen her a few hours ago, squeaky clean with a crisp uniform but the attire now held green stains while her palms had tints of red scrapes and her throat held purple bruising. He was about to write a report on possible assault but Ruka grumbled inaudibly under her breath and Shuhei shook his head to ask carefully, "I didn't quite catch that, Kyoraku."

Ruka pointed to her butt as she frowned angrily and informed with tightly clenched teeth, "Captain Kurotsuchi kicked me in the ass."

Shuhei laughed at the crazy insinuation but stopped when he saw that she wasn't returning the same amusement. Wait. Did that creepy captain actually do that? At the risk of possibly angering the woman further, he asked slowly, "You mean. . ."

His eyes widened in mortification when she lowered her hakama without reservation to show a dark purple bruise in the shape of a foot forming on her left butt cheek. Ouch, that definitely had to hurt her. He cringed as if it were his own pain and saw something peculiar on her porcelain skin as she tied her hakama back into place without a hint of embarrassment. Maybe he was gaining her trust? Either way, he had to point out what he'd seen and cleared his throat to ask, "Is that. . .?"

Ruka couldn't contain her fury over the whole event and crossed her arms to confirm his guess. Her knuckles went white from clenching her hands so tightly and wished that bastard was there so she could give him a mean uppercut with her captain's go ahead. She furrowed her brows, gritting her teeth one last time before bluntly stating, "Yes, captain, Kurotsuchi apparently has his initials printed under his shoes! I've been branded with the letters M.K. for the next week by that crazy captain! What do I look like, cattle?! I ought to-"

She gave him a stiff nod of farewell before stomping off angrily, muttering under her breath about all the torturous and merciless things she'd like to do to Mayuri Kurotsuchi. The spiky haired captain couldn't help but snigger at the image of purple letters decorating her butt and felt guilty afterwards for exploiting his lieutenant's pain. His humorous side was laughing it up but his military side wanted to investigate what had happened between those two to cause such a brawl. Besides, no captain was about to manhandle his newest lieutenant without hearing about it.

"Either way, I gotta tell Komamura" he told himself with a grin and whistled nonchalantly to finish the first arrangement of articles and useless advertisements. Seriously, how much makeup could one woman need? He thought they looked pretty with a simple lip stain but women were a tough species to figure out.

* * *

"Well?"

Kurotsuchi tried to keep the shock off his face but failed as Nemu hauled in a large sack into his office that rivaled her own height. She placed the sack filled with variously sized packages onto the floor and pulled out a folded paper from her tamoto with orders to read it aloud. Nemu gave no facial concern to his widened eyes as they remained stuck to the size of the bag and spoke calmly, "This what happens when you piss off half the Seireitei with your crackpot creations and scare the other half. Correspondence goes missing. Enjoy."

The masked captain walked over to the bag, rudely yanking Nemu's paper out of her hands and read it over himself, word for word. Curses. It was true. She was _right_. He was _wrong_. Obviously, the bastards at the correspondence sector were going to lose either half of their building or the lives of their workers. He'd deal with the aftermath by hiding any evidence. . .besides, postal workers weren't that special anyway since they clearly despised him. Would anyone really miss them? Kurotsuchi grabbed one of the neatly wrapped packages and ripped the brown paper, tearing his nails into the box to open it hastily. Had the little wretch actually been right? His amber eyes blinked comically at the technology items his previous subordinate had brought him from her trips and his scowl turned to disbelief. Nemu's curiosity got the better of her and she tiptoed over to see what was in the first box. Her green eyes tried to hide a glint of amusement but her overall demeanor remained stoic.

"I would say that's prehistoric, sir" Nemu told her father, keeping her voice free of any emotion but scientific logic, as he yanked out an early century telephone. She stared at the strange upright and heavy black phone and wondered just how old that package was. The captains already used more advanced versions of that human-like device and grabbed the item when the captain threw it into the air carelessly.

Kurotsuchi pried open another package and to his utter dismay, found _another _obsolete object. He wasn't in the mood to open the rest after being proved wrong, his ingenious ego thrashing madly from its chains, and grimly muttered, "Nemu, I think we could produce a museum with all of this."

She ripped open another package while he mumbled incoherently to himself and smiled at the captain to present him with the find, "Look, she sent you the invention of the tea bag."

"Nemu, put it away, I know when I've lost" he complained acidly and crossed his arms fussily, wishing to burn the whole satchel on a pyre to make it go away. Were those even legal? No matter, he had his subtle ways of bypassing the law. He wouldn't mind throwing in Ruka Kyoraku herself and be done with her. That woman was going to be a thorn in his side, he just knew it. Grinding his teeth to the point that Nemu could hear it, he hissed aloud in his monologue ramblings, "She actually sent me the technology to develop it here. That woman is insane, most would create it themselves for the legendary credit alone!"

"Some call you insane if I'm not mistaken, captain" his daughter said timidly and he shot her a glare. She flinched instantly and bowed respectfully for her wrongful conduct but was taken aback when he didn't strike her since it was a common occurrence between the two. Nemu held her breath, believing he'd have a change of heart any millisecond and backhand her anyway for the sheer thrill of superiority but received nothing. Instead, he surprised her with a simple admission.

"If _I'm _insane and _she's _insane then. . .Nemu, you're the only hope for this division one day" Kurotsuchi sighed tiredly at the thought of anyone but people he trained himself commandeering the department. He traced his white fingers through his mane of blue hair and motioned for her to take the bag away. A cup of water and headache powder would do him good right about now to get rid of all the irritants of the day jabbing at his brain. He adjusted his haori to rid it of any distasteful wrinkles and picked off any flecks of dust from his sleeves as he ordered bluntly, "I'm done for today, you can take over at the SRDI."

Nemu lugged the large sack away with ease despite her delicate form and after patting away a dust patch from his wardrobe to leave it pristine, he sat down in his seat to close his eyes. She was back now with permanent status and she'd probably keep tormenting him. Ruka had a tendency to crawl into his mind subconsciously and wreck parasitical emotional chaos that he no longer wanted or cared for in his line of work. Who would pop up next? That unpleasant captain, Urahara? Or worse, that transformed abomination, Sugaraki? His fingernails tapped the desk to occupy his thoughts, his fingers sensing the tiny spiritual particles his enraged protégé left behind.

(112 years ago)  
"_Are you ready, Kyoraku?" he asked simply, tapping his veins at the bent of his elbow and waited for her patiently. Her eyes were focused on a needle filled with a green substance as she held it in her hands carefully. She wasn't a fan of those but he'd taught her everything relating to each type, measuring doses, injecting sites, and all those lovely tidbits that anybody not keen of needles wanted to know. However, it didn't lessen the apprehension and he'd resorted to using behavioral psychology by flooding her with that specific fear until she learned to tolerate it through the constant exposure. She'd thanked him in the end but he'd only done it for furthering their scientific work, it was not because he growing soft. No, never. He'd kill anyone who would dare to say otherwise._

"_Kyoraku?"_

_Her blue eyes snapped to his and she asked worriedly, "Are you sure, what if-"_

"_It must be tested and if no one will do it, I will" he stated firmly about the whole point of the two being in a private room at the SRDI. Meticulously, he grabbed a scalpel off the tray of medical equipment to cut his arm with two neat lines, allowing the red blood to drip down his painted white skin. A dark but beautiful contrast. He could see the hesitation wasn't out of fear for screwing up the injection but concern for him. Really, she was growing soft for someone dedicated to the wonders of scientific research. Nonetheless, he found himself assuring her smartly, "If anything goes wrong, you know which injections to use. I've tested all possible reactions myself, now go."_

_Ruka gently inserted the needle into the visible vein in his right arm, careful to angle it correctly. Months ago, she couldn't even hold a needle steady without giving the test dummy five wrong pricks. Once he gave her an affirmed nod, she entered the liquid into his bloodstream and gently pulled out the needle to place it back on the tray. She watched him carefully, her hands hovering over a set of three shots with an anxious quiver in case something would go wrong. One for an allergic shock, one for cardiac arrest, and the other to prevent blood clotting. This test was a dangerous procedure and all she could do was observe him while he kept watch on the timer set next to the tray. She didn't like having such power over life, especially her own superior, but he asked this of her personally. Needless to say, she would not let him down._

"_They're healing" he murmured quietly with the slightest hint of approval and she saw the two self-inflicted gashes healing slowly. Amazing. She smiled at the positive result as the injected test serum worked and his amber eyes watched it with fascination._

"_Do you feel anything?" she asked carefully, blue eyes locking in every inch of his face to catch anything off balance. Skeptically, she asked again, "Any-"_

"_I feel fine, Kyoraku" he broke in sharply to her rambling and she breathed in relief while dismissing his constant brusque manner towards anyone shy and worrisome. She'd learned that pet peeve of his during her first month in the division and never behaved as such; only perseverance and confidence would get you in his good graces. He gave a slight scoff to her break in objectivity with the project and scolded roughly, "You're more stressed than me and I'm the test subject."_

"_It's called worrying about you" she muttered dryly but managed a small smile to his nonstop scolding. It was growing rather immune in affecting her while new recruits tended to sob after spending one minute with him. Captain Urahara also began to wonder if he needed to hire a therapist to deal with the psychological trauma Mayuri Kurotsuchi kept unleashing throughout the squad. Ruka actually found it funny._

"_Ugh, you know how I hate emotions, they ruin the potential of the scientific mind" he lectured sternly while she nodded absentmindedly to please his ego. His amber eyes narrowed as he spat sourly, "You better be past all of the useless sentiment towards test subjects. I don't care if it's me, your neighbor, that dog that keeps chasing me when I leave this building, or any blasted creature that gives you goo goo eyes from the surgical table. You will raise your scalpel without regard and begin. Am I clear?"_

_Ruka heaved a sigh before answering flatly, "Yes, sir. Don't get your frilly panties in a bunch."_

_She kept counting the minutes, taking notes on the duration of the serum, the effects, everything that would help develop it perfectly. This was his own private project and she was honored to be the only assistant participating with it. However, she wasn't going to have him dead over his crazy concoction. She'd been writing in the three minute results when she felt his fingers curl involuntarily, her eyes meeting his instantly._

"_Kurotsuchi-"_

_His whole body broke into convulsions and she grabbed the first needle to inject him with but his strength outmatched hers as she tried to keep him from hurting himself and give him the medicine. Grabbing his hand into hers, she used her shoulder to pin his down along with that section of his body and quickly injected the neutralizer into his veins to stabilize his systems. She watched the monitors depicting all of his life signals but his erratic trembling worried her despite the medicine had already been injected. What if it failed despite what he'd told her? All she could do was stay by his side and wait it out before she was forced to abandon the privacy of the project by fetching the fourth division._

_She wiped his damp forehead with her lab coat's sleeve (he must've used waterproof theatrical makeup because not a single patch smeared) and patted his cheek gently to gain his attention as his eyes closed ever so slightly. Her concern rose instantly and she tried to keep him conscious by ordering harshly, "Mayuri Kurotsuchi, you look at me. Keep your eyes on me."_

_His eyes blinked repeatedly to focus on the order, more likely to scowl at her for using such an authoritative tone, and she kept her eye contact with him. Satisfied with the reaction, she kept the stimuli by coaxing gently, "Good. Keep doing that. I declare a staring contest and you can't lose, okay?"_

_Grueling minutes passed before the convulsions over his body came to a halt and she breathed in relief, ready to cry and possibly hurl from the tense moment. Obviously, she couldn't do either without invoking another 'scientists must never be weak' lectures. His body rested against the reclining seat comfortably and she wiped his forehead with a towel to occupy herself. His chest slowed its contractions as his lungs relaxed, allowing the monitors to beep a 'he's gonna live to nag another day' bleep, and she instructed, "Just breathe. Focus on it."_

_Ruka sat by his side faithfully, squeezing his hand in assurance, and spoke to him calmly until he could speak on his own. She just knew those first incoherent mumbles from his lips were words of complaint and rolled her eyes lightheartedly at his grumpiness. That strange white painted man was one of a kind. . .really, she'd never found another quite like him for comparison! She grabbed a cup of water and helped him drink it (curse whatever mothering gene was making her nurture him like a freakin' toddler, she didn't even like watching the sappy romance plays her uncle dragged her to see) but his amber eyes traveled to the needles with hidden intent._

"_It's too dangerous to try again" Ruka pointed out firmly and shook her head to banish whatever thoughts he had of doing so. He was seriously crazy if he wanted to attempt the whole procedure again, he could barely sit up as it was! She refuted his idea very clearly with a frown, "I won't do it."_

"_I can handle it" he assured but his raspy voice betrayed the weakness hiding there and she ran her fingers through his damp hair._

"_You almost died in front of me, it's incredibly risky" she objected sharply, locking her eyes with his to clash in a staring match. Her brows furrowed together as she insisted with the raw data they'd just gathered minutes ago, "The regenerative serum needs further work to avoid complications like this and who knows what side effects we haven't seen yet? When it's updated and you don't break into seizures, I will try it on you. Only then."_

"_Then I'll do it myself" Kurotsuchi hissed defiantly and tried to sit up to grab the green vial to perform the test himself. If he was going to be stuck with a sentimental assistant like that, he'd rather do everything himself. Ruka pushed him back to lie down and his weak body wasn't able to give good resistance against her strength. Blasted serum. Oh, how he hated to be vulnerable before others and he warned dangerously, "Kyoraku."_

"_I'm your friend first and a researcher second" she stated coldly and checked his heart rate again to make sure there were no abnormalities. Scribbling in his stats on the clipboard she held, her gaze avoided his as she explained, "If this was our first day together, I wouldn't care for your immature impatience but after two and a half years as partners, I'll whack you over the head to knock sense into you. You may be brilliant but you sure as hell can be stubborn."_

"_And you grind my nerves incessantly" he remarked quietly, thinning his lips in displeasure as he brooded from his helpless spot. After all of his prior testing, this one turned out no better after all of the precautions taken which meant he was going back to the drawing board for his regenerative serum. Damn._

"_You're going back to your old self now" she commented aloud, letting a smile of amusement grace her face. Of course, she wouldn't say her relief aloud and rile him further but his sharp tongue and meticulous planning was a thumbs up for perfect recovery. Impishly, she teased gently while relaxing in her own chair, "Insults always accompany you, Mayuri Kurotsuchi."_

"_And sarcastic wit accompanies you, Ruka Kyoraku" he scoffed derisively to challenge her choice of words and come out on top. Comrade or not, he would always show who was truly the mastermind and superior one of the two. Her childish eye rolling pinched at his nerves and he resisted from bursting into an immature squabble on why his words were much more accurate than hers. Still, that stupid look of concern on her face kept rubbing him the wrong way as they continued to work together on a daily basis. The logical answer would've been to fire her and take on another assistant. . .but he didn't mind her company. This latest test, however, made him wonder if she would blab about the project to protect his health rather than displace her emotions on the matter. Raising a brow, he questioned skeptically, "Will you report this to Urahara?"_

_Ruka may have disagreed with everything he was doing but she could see he was passionate about this project and he was quite close to formulating a good dosage. If he could succeed in creating a safe prototype, the regenerative serum would help thousands of the Seireitei troops. Knowing her conscience would nag at her later, she took a lesson from his book of compulsive lying. Feigning a passable look of puzzlement, she chirped innocently, "Report what, sir?"_

"_Good girl" he chuckled approvingly to her choice and the skills she'd gained as he continued to teach her. Yes, the sentimental brunette did indeed hold untapped potential._  
(End)

The cold captain curled his fist and glared at the wall in front of him to murmur faintly, "What trouble will you bring me now, Ruka?"

First, however, he had to take care of those fools in the correspondence sector whom made him appear as an imbecile before that crazy brunette and his daughter. Kurotsuchi stood up with revenge stamped in his eyes as his painted fingers clutched the hilt of his zanpakuto and an evil smirk crept over his lips slowly. It seemed he _would _have fun today after all.

* * *

Shinigami Extras:

_You have to get some pain ointment for that, the ice will eventually melt_, Monosugoikaze admonished his master as he floated overhead while Ruka held an ice bag over her butt to reduce the purplish swelling Kurotsuchi's foot had caused. The zanpakuto had laughed for a good five minutes before declaring comeuppance was in order against the captain. Ruka just told him to put a sock in it while she laid down to sleep it all away. However, she did agree with his revenge idea but that would have to wait another day.

"Pfft" she mumbled half-heartedly, blowing a raspberry against her pillow. Her face simply dug into the pillow while her arms remained sprawled over the sides of it.

_It will not look pretty tomorrow_, he reminded chidingly and perched himself on the back of her head. Ruka's hand tried to bat him away but it did nothing. Why couldn't zanpakuto spirits materialize so she could then throttle him by his feathery neck?

"Nobody is going to be looking at my butt, bird brain, now scram!" she pointed out and waved him away like a bothersome pet but he only moved down to settle himself on her back. She knew the subtle wiping motions of his two feet and groaned aloud, "Crap, don't nest on my back!"

_You can't move an inch without invoking pain so I am here to stay_, he stated smugly and laughed softly about the whole situation. _Really, you should've put up more of a fight. You two were always quite the passionate couple-_

She was about to sit up and throw her sheathed sword through the open door of her bedroom to make him feel her pain but he quickly added in_, I meant it in the violent way! Always competing and hurling beakers at people. Power trips and maniacal laughter that kept me up while Ashisogi Jizo laughed it up. Nothing at all like you and Byakuya. That poor boy fell through so many floors, I thought that Kuchiki splendor would get seared right off his face. Didn't you throw him down a mountain during one of your little dates in-_

"Arrgghh!" Ruka growled as he brought up the past with memory lane. Nobody was supposed to know about her involvement with Mayuri and was sure her public relationship with Byakuya was dust in the wind now. Her zanpakuto could be quite the gossiper among the others wandering the Seireitei and wished she could seal his trap shut. It made her wonder why she didn't get a female spirit instead.

_I could've been quite happy living alongside Senbonzakura but no, you had to ruin my happiness too_, he spoke dramatically about the past and pecked her back gently.

"You fight with him half the time" she pointed out with a soft laugh at his comment and wished she could pull off a few of those snow white feathers to make him shut up. For two zanpakuto that were all about honor, they sure threw it out the window when they argued.

_That reminds me, I should tell him about this!_, he spoke happily and her eyes widened instantly to his blabbermouth. Similar to her and Byakuya, those two traded news and secrets faster than she changed clothing. _He's always so serious about 'flowers this', 'Byakuya that', 'honor this', 'practice that', 'are my petals symmetrical?', 'why am I pink?', 'does this make my butt look huge?'-_

"He doesn't have a butt, he's made of freakin' floating petals of doom" she cut in and a loud flutter of wings told her to shut up. Whatever, she wouldn't get involved in the weird lives of the zanpakuto.

_True but he can take any form, he even dared to mimic my form_, he scoffed indignantly and she rolled her eyes despite they were closed. She swore those two must've been created by whatever magical energy that produces zanpakuto. _Can you believe that? Sure, it was funny when he imitated Byakuya stabbing Ichigo through the heart but not me! Nobody can imitate the splendor that is-_

"Go rant to Pinky because I desperately need some alone time" she ordered her spirit and faked a snore to get him to take the hint. Her butt was throbbing and knew she wouldn't be able to sleep on her back or the left side. Quickly, she added in, "And DO NOT tell Senbonzakura because he'll blab to Byakuya and I DO NOT want to confront him either."

_You're no fun_, he complained and disappeared into thin air again. Like that annoying cat from the human film Alice in Wonderland, he voiced aloud with merry teasing, _I like Byaruka instead of Mayuruka, it rolls off the tongue like a good-_

"Get out before I pay Rangiku to allow Haineko to claw you to death!" she exclaimed loudly enough that she was sure her two neighbors heard. Great, they'd probably blab to the captain that she was really insane. Pricks of pain shot up her spine and she yelled both angrily and painfully, "Argh, my ass!"

_If I die, you die with me!_, Monosugoikaze retorted smartly and she threw her only pillow across the room. Why was he still here?!

"That's a risk I'm willing to take" she shot back competitively and he finally left the premises in a huff to take his own nap. The Seireitei always bored him and nothing worthwhile would be found there.  



	11. Much Ado About Asses

CHAPTER 11: 

**Much Ado About Asses**

* * *

"I like this tea, Nana" Yachiru said approvingly as she swung her legs over the chair she sat on. Ever since she started spending time with Ruka, Zaraki had come back to the division's dinner hall happy after pulverizing opponents and not spending his free time spoiling her. He'd even offered Ruka a seated position if she got tired of the ninth division and needed a change but the brunette knew it was for Yachiru's benefit only. Still, it was nice to be invited into the bloodthirsty division.

"Thank you, Yachiru" the woman responded politely as she served herself another cup. Yachiru tried to play the respectful child act, sitting like a dutiful little girl with her hands in her lap. . .but threw it out when the pastries were brought into sight. She devoured hers into crumbs within a minute. Ruka, Nanao, Rukia, and Yachiru had decided to have breakfast together before heading to their respective divisions to start their working day. Rangiku had decided to sleep in two extra hours although Ruka was sure she'd sleep till noon and promised to join them for lunch next time. The sun had settled into a nice lilac haze as baby blue peeked through to welcome the early morning and a good breeze flew by. It was going to be a good day. . .so Ruka hoped.

Ruka sat uncomfortably on the wooden chair, her butt was completely sore along with her poor spine so the hardwood wasn't making it easier to sit idly. She kept fidgeting in her seat, passing it off by either taking a sip of her tea or dabbing her lips with a napkin but hell, it hurt nonetheless. After fifteen minutes into their small breakfast, she curled up in a ball to lie on her side and groaned, "Crap, my butt hurts. Stupid Kurotsuchi. I couldn't even sleep a wink yesterday. I hope one of his experiments gets loose and gobbles him up like a gummy bear."

Nanao pushed her glasses up as she took in her friend's news and asked firmly, "You were with the twelfth captain?"

"And you lived?" Rukia questioned skeptically as she placed her tea on the table, eager for an answer. She was still doubtful about her friend's claim of dating the crazy man but maybe she'd been brutally honest the whole time. You never knew when it came to that brunette.

"Yeah, the asshole kicked me out of his office like a dog on the street- not that anyone should kick dogs either!" she spat angrily as yesterday's meeting warmed her bloodstream in renewed fury for the man. How dare he treat her like that? If she could've kicked him in the crotch and lived, she would've. She touched her own lower back gingerly and hissed painfully to the group, "Left his damn foot indentation on me."

"Clown face kicked you? On the butt?" Yachiru asked in awe and burst into giggles, falling into her chair with a grin as she held her sides. Ruka shook her head in amusement and gave a glance at Nanao, who appeared relieved all of a sudden when she admitted the kick to the keister.

Ruka's eyebrow perked up and she asked suspiciously in a low tone, "What did you think I meant when I said my butt hurt-", realization of a sexual insinuation dawned on her and she exclaimed in horror, "Oh! Nanao! You filthy perverted woman! How _dare _you?!"

Nanao blushed quickly at being caught with her mind in the gutter while Ruka turned red in embarrassment for the sexual accusation, sipping her tea absentmindedly to ignore that ludicrous idea. Rukia simply burst into laughter at Nanao's cherry face and Yachiru, in her young innocent mind, remained puzzled to what they were freaking out at and blinked. Nanao cleared her throat roughly, shooting her best friend a glare from across the round table, and spoke calmly despite her betraying jittery hands, "That is not what I meant at all, Ruka."

"The hell it isn't! You thought I slept-" she berated loudly but then remembered a child was present, a peppy innocent girl that'd no idea on adult situations (besides killing, of course) and crossed her arms. Calming down, she took a note from Nanao's book on relaxation and grumbled, "I did not do whatever hideous things your mind has conjured up. You can be as bad as uncle Shunsui sometimes and this time, it's not a compliment."

"I am not like the captain! He's a complete pervert!" she exclaimed indignantly to such a comparison and crossed her arms huffily in a similar fashion to Ruka. Their other two friends merely watched them, their set of eyes flicking back and forth like ping-pongs at each hurled argument.

Yachiru scratched her pink head and frowned, "I'm confused. Clown face _didn't _kick you?"

"Yes, he did but Nanao thought otherwise" Ruka answered sweetly with smile, shooting a dark glare at Nanao the next second. Seriously, did she think she was gonna maul Kurotsuchi into the bedroom to hump like bunnies in heat? Absolutely not, he lost that option ages ago. So long ago that Rukia was probably still alive in the human world.

"The thought alone should give anyone heart attack" Nanao shot back and Rukia choked slightly on her tea at the idea of being seduced by a painted madman. Had all the decency in the world been extinguished? She grabbed her Chappy napkin and coughed into it, fighting back her gagging reflex as she fought that hideous image. She pointed to the coughing Kuchiki before hitting her back roughly, more for emphasis than help, and exclaimed, "See? Even Rukia's showing symptoms."

"I'm going to die laughing" Rukia groaned helplessly, leaning back into her chair as she coughed to clear her airway. She decided to just listen to the conversation rather than get an unexpected shock and choke again. She wouldn't be good to anyone dead. . .and no shinigami was going to humiliatingly die from a pastry. That would be embarrassing enough on a death certificate.

Ruka grinned like a Cheshire cat and placed her elbows on the tables to lean her face on her hands, retorting slyly, "The thought of you and another man would give uncle Shunsui a heart attack but _I_ don't complain."

"I'm not going to date your uncle!" she remarked tightly, raising her voice, and Ruka enjoyed watching her friend turn red. It was only a matter of time before Nanao would like being showered by fancy gifts from her uncle. If she was really serious though. . .hmm, Ruka would have to enlist a matchmaking army. The brunette stopped a girlish laugh from leaving her lips when Nanao muttered tastelessly, "But if I had to, I'd choose him rather than. . .what did you call him, Yachiru?"

"Clown Face, Skeletor, Penguin, Brain, Mayurin, Blueberry, I change them every month" she replied cheerily and ate a cookie in two bites, licking her small fingers to grab every crumb. Eagerly, she looked to Ruka and asked brightly, "Did he really kick you?"

"Yes and it isn't pretty" Ruka muttered irritably at the humiliating incident and frowned deeply, brooding in her chair as she told them, "I literally have his initials on my right butt cheek and part of his footprint. Do you know how embarrassing that is? If I had a boyfriend, I'd be dead right now." Her frown turned into a manic grin when she declared smugly, "But at least I got this!"

She pulled out the patch of blue hair she'd ripped from his head from her sleeve pocket to present it proudly and her best friend cringed at the limp hair. Her blue eyes glittered madly as if she'd just killed the strongest hollow while Yachiru and Rukia burst into louder laughter. The little girl poked the clump of blue hair while Rukia hoped her ribs wouldn't hurt by the end of their breakfast. Nanao's blue eyes shifted from the hair trophy to Ruka's triumphant face and shook her head to her crazy dealings.

"You could file assault and show Captain Hisagi the, um, evidence" she informed firmly, worried at why she went over there in the first place. Many times, she'd distinctly told her to never engage that madman, even more so for their past relationship. Glancing at Ruka's open palm, her tightened lips curled upwards and she scolded harshly, "And throw that away, it's creepy!"

"He was the first one I told!" she huffed and disagreed on throwing the patch away. That was a trophy worth keeping; who else could pull off hair from the most feared man and live to tell the tale? She could even be a legend. . .okay, that was _way _too farfetched, even for her. Turning to her side before it numbed again, she muttered irritably, "But I did threaten Kurotsuchi so that could backfire on me."

"Why did you go over there? You two aren't on a friendly basis" Nanao questioned sharply and tapped her fingers on the floral tea cup she held. This, she wanted to know.

"The captain ordered me to and I couldn't say 'Sorry, but we had this huge falling out and I'm afraid he'll kill me once we're in the same room', could I?!" Ruka exclaimed indignantly and sipped her warm tea to calm her. No way was she about to appear sloppy or lazy with her workload and she'd risk seeing Mayuri over such a blemish. With a crazy gleam in her eye, she pondered aloud to the women, "I should get shoes with _my _initials and brand them on his face. _That _would show him!"

Nanao sighed despairingly at her friend's half-baked idea and burst her bubble with a snap, "Then he'd _kill _you in the most brutal way possible or lock you away in his research lab to never be seen again."

"Nanao!" she whined in disappointment, pouting like a five year-old and banging her fists on the table to carry out the look, and the other two laughed at her impertinent nature. Yachiru loved it since it meant insane adventures while Rukia knew her brother would go rampant and nag her to death. Ruka traced her finger over the edges of her teacup and sniffed miserably, "You _never _let me carry out my insane ploys."

"Because I want you to stay alive and not be killed before the year ends" her friend replied dryly and shook her head at how an aristocrat of her stature could act this silly. That was one reason why the two became friends since Nanao had been a shy child while Ruka had been a gutsy teenager. It was funny because both were naïve and eager to prove themselves to the world but now. . .now Nanao had to wonder on her friend's mental balance. Also, she had to wonder why Byakuya's temperament hadn't rubbed off on her. Maybe the great Kuchiki had finally given up on training her before she warped his mind?

Nanao sighed, slightly amused when her friend fidgeted uncomfortably, and pointed out, "Ruka, you're supposed to give me wise advice, you're the oldest one here at the table."

Ruka grimaced sourly at being named the 'responsible' one in the group and blurted disagreeably, "I'm not _wise_, if you wanted that, you sure took the wrong road with me," Nanao glared at her for the comment but Ruka simply grinned cockily, "I'm sure Byakuya regrets it too but I know you all love me deep inside. Right, Yachiru?"

"Right!" she replied chirpily with a grin, slamming her tea cup onto the wooden table, and Ruka fed her another cookie. The girl ate it instantly, almost biting off Ruka's fingertips as well, and muffled brokenly to her treat, "Mm, I warb you."

"I'm sure she means me" Ruka said confidently to the others with a wave of her hand but her voice wavered with paranoia at being replaced, "_Right_?"

"Just don't do crazy things to rile up that captain, okay?" Nanao scolded her like a mother hen and the brunette pouted, shifting her eyes to the side deceivingly to ward off the order.

"Define crazy" her friend asked cheekily, twirling a piece of limp hair with hopes of having it actually curl but got zip. Nanao didn't buy her innocent ploy for a second, even when she added a hopeful smile. For the moment, the brunette wished she could be naturally good-looking or have the charismatic material to trick people.

Suspiciously, Nanao warned sternly, "_Ruka_."

"He kicked me, I deserve vengeance!" she insisted woefully and Yachiru raised her fist into the air in agreement, hoping her older friend had a scheme already planned.

Yachiru smiled widely and piped in with her own daring idea, "You should steal his makeup! He never leaves home without it."

"That's suicide and don't you dare think about it!" Nanao commanded both of them and they frowned in disillusion. If Nanao disagreed heavily, then they knew they were _way _over their heads for any chance of success.

"Give it up, Ruka, it ain't gonna happen" Rukia comforted her friend, patting her on the back, but knowing the lieutenant. . .retaliation would be imminent. She swore her friend was exactly like her brother when their pride was bruised, lethal and unrelenting.

Yachiru plopped herself into Ruka's lap without warning and the older woman winced as pain shot up her tailbone. She needed painkillers badly. Curiously, the child asked her with a toothy grin, "Have you seen 'im without the mask, Ruki? If he already looks scary, his real face must be ugly like a Hollow's or somethin'!"

"Uh. . ."

_(113 years ago)  
Ruka walked sluggishly into the dining hall of the twelfth division to get a midnight snack from the kitchens. She'd been reading up on scientific journals for her current project and had decided to appease her nonstop growling stomach. Five hours of nonstop reading did that to a person and water wouldn't satiate her food churner. She entered the dark kitchen with hobbling steps and heard fumbling inside which sent her defense into overload and she grabbed the nearest object: a bag of bread rolls._

_I can't believe I forgot my zanpakuto, she thought miserably and blamed her trusting nature. There could always be threats lurking in the Seireitei, regardless of how many warriors it housed._

_Spotting a shadow digging through the food pantry, she quietly snuck up from behind in the dark and saw that this person was a complete stranger in the reflected moonlight; not from her division and therefore, it was her sworn duty to kick his ass. That was all she needed to know and proceeded to beat the intruder down with the bread bag._

"_Ow! What the-" a sharp voice yelled out to the silent attack and struggled against her. He noticed who it was instantly and shoved her away, reprimanding sharply, "Kyoraku!"_

_She stopped for a second, blinking at the darker man, then proceeded to hit him again, demanding with a shrill yell of paranoia, "How do you know my name?! Only twelfth division members are allowed here! Wait till my captain gets a hold of you! He'll lock you away as a science experiment!"_

"_It's Kurotsuchi, you pest!" he shrieked with a familiar scowl and she halted but remained unconvinced. Growling between clenched teeth, he turned on the nearest lantern with his candle and Ruka raised the bag again in defense until evidence was set forth to clear him and he snapped tightly, "Touch me again and you'll be in a bath of acid!"_

_She stared at the man before her as his golden eyes glared at her, the candlelight glow illuminating his features much clearly. Well, the glare and ongoing pessimism was there. The short weird haircut he had was still there and most definitely blue. If she added a simple white bath of paint, he would match it with exact precision. Huh, so it was him. Her eyes widened to the shock of finally seeing him like a normal human being and she pointed out, "You're not wearing your paper cones!"_

"_They're not made from paper!" he shot back defensively to her mockery and she cringed when she saw what remained of his ears; gold metal and surrounding cauterized flesh. Why would someone chop their ears off without a care? Talk about serious risk of infection. Her eyes stayed on them before shuddering, waving him away with a hand, and he rolled his eyes to her squeamishness and questioned stiffly, "Why were you beating me?"_

"_I thought you were a burglar" she answered easily with a shake of her shoulders as she stared at him in awe. He wasn't weird-looking underneath, he looked completely normal. . .except for the missing ears, that is. Hell, he looked better than most guys in the division. . .not that she was looking or anything. Besides, that would be a total case of fraternization within the ranks and could risk her job for it. No, thank you. She motioned to her face and explained her point of view, "You always wear that pasty makeup in public, how was I supposed to know it's not permanent? I've never seen you like that and I was only doing my sworn duty-"_

_He held out his hand and simply ordered, "Give me the bag, Kyoraku."_

_She held it against her chest, believing he was about to return the favor gladly, and raised her chin to question suspiciously, "Why should I?"_

"_Because I need the bread" he stated flatly with thinned lips and she handed it over regrettably. Her arms flew up to her face for protection in case he started beating her with it but blinked in surprise when no blow landed on her. Wasn't he the revenge seeking type? He snapped everyone's heads off half the time at work. Instead, she saw him walk off calmly to a table nearby to fix his meal and Kurotsuchi inquired simply without a glance, "Why are you here?"_

"_Study break" she replied as she sought her own snack and dug through the wooden pantry to grab a bottle of water and a piece of day old corn bread. She bit off a piece hungrily, wiping off any crumbs from her mouth, and mumbled contently with a full mouth, "All right, carbohydrates to keep me going."_

"_It's 2 a.m" he pointed out coldly as he fixed himself a sandwich and she walked over to his table to nibble on her snack. His prowling hours were usually between 10 and 12 at night but he'd been up jotting notes until he ran out of energy so he headed out here. He'd never run into his assistant before and like everyone else, his real image threw everyone off. The SRDI lieutenant pointed to her from across the table and warned, "You better not slack off in the lab."_

_She waved a hand dismissively to his sour demeanor and scoffed confidently with a grin, "I can handle a few hours of sleep, Kurotsuchi, it's boring to sleep anyway. I mean, all you do is dream about large sharp-toothed monsters devouring your flesh."_

_Kurotsuchi simply stared awkwardly to her comment, raising a thin blue eyebrow, and wondered if the lack of sleep was affecting her logic. Wasn't he supposed to be the extremist out of both? Whatever, her craziness wasn't his concern. He returned to fixing the toppings of his meal and she burst into sudden laughter, surprising him to the abrupt loud noise and he snapped acidly, "What is it now?"_

"_You look too normal, it's eerie" she snickered chidingly and he placed a full pitcher of water between them at the table to block their faces. He saw her sapphire orbs peer at him through the clear glass and she giggled, "You look funnier from this underwater angle."_

"_Kyoraku, I think you need sleep" he suggested blandly but it came out with a commanding bite since he was already irritated and ripped off a piece from his sandwich with his teeth. To Ruka, it reminded her of a hungry panther and briefly wondered what kind of zanpakuto this man wielded to match his personality._

_She glanced away from the pitcher to peek at him and smiled in friendly jester, "I think you should stop wearing all that weird makeup. Next thing you know, kids will start grabbing at you and telling you to do tricks. There's a word for it in the world of the living. . .ah, yes- a clown."_

"_I hate you sometimes, Kyoraku" Mayuri muttered darkly and she gagged when she finally caught a glance at what he was eating. He stared at the sliced bread roll in his hand when he caught her dismayed expression and asked puzzled, "What? It's just tomato sauce, seaweed, white cheese, soy sauce and vinegar. People eat this all the time. . .right?"_

_Her face turned three shades whiter within seconds and she groaned weakly, "Ugh, I think I'll go to sleep now. I don't feel so good."_

"_Kyoraku" he protested skeptically to her weak stomach and she stood up to leave, purposely avoiding looking down at the table. Why was she suddenly squeamish to that but not a beaker full of active bacteria? This girl was making the gears in his mind work longer than they needed to and shook his head to dismiss any interest he held concerning her._

"_Forget it, not even your good looks could make me stay" she blurted aloud and left the room in a hurry, corn bread completely forgotten and a bottle of water half-empty._

_Kurotsuchi simply licked his fingers free of red sauce (it amused him that it held the resemblance of blood) and pondered to himself, "Wait. . .good looks?"  
(End)_

"I'm done eating" Rukia groaned disgustedly and shoved her pastry away. Usually, her friend's stories carry laughter but this time, it was too much to keep stomached.

"See? You've sickened a lieutenant already with your behavior" Nanao nagged at Ruka who rolled her eyes while Yachiru simply ate their leftovers while they weren't looking. However, the lieutenant's righteous sense caught her and she scolded her lightly, "Yachiru, it's not sanitary to eat people's leftovers."

"But it's free food" she defended nonetheless with her fists hitting the table and proceeded to eat Rukia's half-eaten bread.

* * *

"She's so cool" Ruka stared in awe, completely transfixed with shining eyes and a bit of drool dripping down the side of her mouth as she watched Soi Fon beat her subordinates into the ground during training. That woman was the epitome of badassery when it came to punishing disobedience of the law in the Seireitei. She was also the role model fighter Ruka wanted to be but nobody said it was going to be easy. Anytime she trained with the older woman, she'd ended up in Retsu's infirmary. . .but Ruka always hopped back the next day to go at it again. Her lips widened into a perky smile and spoke aloud to anyone who was listening, "I always loved training with her. I think I'm the only one who's actually paid her to."

For the afternoon, she had the assignment of watching the daily duties of the second division captain (not that she'd complain) and lieutenant (okay, him, she definitely would complain about)per new regulations to establish trust between divisions. Soi Fon had almost kicked her out when she popped up grinning like a Cheshire cat and tried to sign paperwork to get her off her hands but the mandatory two hours couldn't be bypassed. Like a kid on Christmas, Ruka tagged along with hopes of training with her once again. They mostly spent the hours outside as Soi Fon explained the new changes of the Seireitei whether structural or judicial while Ruka nodded like a bobblehead and Omaeda ate behind them, boasting his own abilities in the squad. Ruka knew that more than half the time, the captain was doing most of the work while he slacked off to fill his stomach.

"Until. . ."

_(40 years ago)_  
"_Move it or you'll be dead in two seconds!" the second squad captain barked and Ruka hightailed it through the field, looking for any kind of decent cover. When the woman gave a warning, you could be sure your imminent demise was near._

_She'd already been painted on her chest with a red dot that Soi Fon used on her practice dummies and Ruka had to avoid the second strike. Easier said than done. Her defenses during flash stepping had gotten better under Soi Fon's training since Byakuya was too damn lazy to contribute an hour of his time but there was no way she could beat the second captain. Her best chance was to die honorably but she'd try._

_She spotted a black blur behind her and shouted in its direction, "Hado 31: Shakkaho!"_

_The red orb brushed past the captain's shoulder and she stopped for a moment to shake her head and reprimanded coldly, "You should've used a bakudo, third seat."_

_Ruka sighed for going for the easiest attack rather than the most strategic and huffed, "I thought I could catch you-"_

"_And I just achieved it" Soi Fon smirked lightly and tapped the second dot onto her chest before Ruka could finish blinking. Oh, come on! The brunette gaped like a fish caught in a net and the captain admonished proudly, "You're dead now, Kyoraku."_

_Ruka's shoulders dropped in disappointment to her failure and she mumbled under her breath, "Well, at least I tried."_

_The brunette lightly frowned as their training came to the finale and fell to the floor to fake her gasp of death, convulsing over the grassy training floor like a poor wounded animal. After a few seconds, she opened her eyes and piped up, "Is that any good?"_

"_Drone on a little longer, I like hearing my enemies wail" Soi Fon ordered with a sadistic smirk but scolded roughly with, "In the field, you show no pain, Kyoraku."_

"_Gotcha, I get my arm seared clean off and I give no peep" Ruka nodded with an impish grin to the instruction and faked a wail of despair as she apparently 'died' on her back. However, in the middle of appearing like a dead possum, she heard wooden creaking nearby and sat up to see where the noise was. Scratching her head, she asked aloud, "Do you hear-_

"_Ruka" Soi Fon warned stiffly as she helplessly watched one of the squad barracks collapse from Ruka's uncoordinated hado spell. How the hell had she taken down a barrack with one attack? Wood chips and gusts of debris flew into the air as the roof collapsed inside and the support beams gave in seconds later to lay everything flat and broken onto the pavement._

"_I promise I'll pay you back" Ruka responded meekly and proceeded to make a desperate run for it but the shorter woman grabbed her by the collar, immobilizing her completely under her grip. The brunette flailed her arms as she was dragged towards the captain's office and yelled frantically, "No! Captain Fon! I don't want to be your footstool today!"  
(End)  
_

"At least I paid it off" she murmured to herself and felt a wet drip fall onto her bare shoulder. She turned to see what had fallen on her and her face took on a look of horror as she saw an orange blotch of dressing dripping down her arm. What the hell?! Without waiting to see who it was, she screamed furiously, "Omaeda!"

She wiped the disgusting sticky substance off her skin and proceeded to grab his sandwich from his open mouth. Did the buffoon not know how to keep his food in his mouth? How could he even be hungry, he'd just chowed down an entire bag of chips just ten minutes ago! So where the hell did he managed to grab that and perch himself next to her so she could catch his stupid crumbs? Damn bottomless pit. Throwing it to the floor, she stepped on it for emphasis to her madness (she'd atone for ruining food later) and yelled, "When you eat, you make sure shorter people like me _aren't _underneath! You just ruined my 'Soi Fon kicks ass' show! What're you, a bottomless pit? I haven't seen you stop eating since I arrived here!"

Soi Fon pinned her opponent on the floor, pressing her foot in their chest until she heard a resounding crack and let go. She told the groaning person to go to the healing division as she walked over to the arguing lieutenants. For a petite brunette, that woman had the loudness of a giant and Soi Fon wondered what the hell she was going on about now. Nobody in the Seireitei knew with her. . .well, maybe Komamura but even he had his limits. Her gray eyes narrowed as she targeted the two troublemakers and barked sharply, "What's all the racket over here?"

"Your dumbass lieutenant here dribbled dressing over me while I watched you train" Ruka explained politely but her face was set in a glare as she bared her teeth at the man. She didn't care how rich or high-ranking he was, nobody should spill dressing over somebody while on duty. She wore her uniform with pride and she wasn't about to let the glutton ruin it with a large stain. She jabbed her finger at his chest since she was too short to put it between his eyes and hissed, "She's the coolest fighter in the Seireitei and you ruined it! Now I'm wearing orange dressing instead of lotion I wasted money on!"

"Then you should've moved while I ate, short pint! Sounds like I caught you stalking my captain" he shot back to her stupid screeching and the two glared with teeth baring at each other. Ruka retorted it was for her assignment and in no way, would she disrespect the captain like that. To Soi Fon, they appeared as playhouse toddlers fighting over a swing. Ugh, she hated kids.

"Enough!" the captain ordered before they attacked each other like rabid dogs and both nodded obediently to her will. Much better. Now, to get rid of the most annoying and be left with the lesser evil. She flicked her thumb towards her lieutenant and commanded coldly, "Omaeda, go check on the third quadrant and report to me in one hour."

"Gladly" he obeyed with a condescending smirk towards Ruka and hobbled away quickly. To the brunette, he looked more like a fat panda off in the search of its next bamboo meal.

"Why do you put up with him, captain?" the brunette casually asked as her lips thinned in distaste for the man. She didn't know him before meeting him at her first lieutenant's meeting but already knew he wasn't her kind of people.

Surprisingly, the other woman replied dryly in a joke, "I'm too lazy to murder him and file more paperwork on his 'accidental' death."

Ruka grinned cheekily at her remark, hoping it was actually a real joke since Soi Fon rarely did, but whatever, it's not like she'd miss the guy anyway. If it ever came into reality, she'd root for Soi Fon's alibi. Her mind shifted gears as it grew bored on mulling over Omaeda, the little gray cells simply didn't deem him worthy, and she asked impishly, "So now that I'm back, I thought, I don't know. . .if you'd like to give me another training session?"

"You blew up part of my division last time" she pointed out bluntly and wouldn't be letting the woman anywhere near any kind of building while Ruka sulked at the refusal.

"But you're awesome! I'll get you a Yoruichi 8x10 frame with a full autograph sending her love?" the brunette begged, clasping her hands before her face in mercy as she tried to bargain and the captain considered. She gave a half-hearted 'meh' and Ruka stretched her bartering skills to their fullest, hoping she'd nab the captain's training without pissing off Yoruichi. There were limits to her friendliness but she'd bet on her giving the freebie rather than Soi Fon's impassive personality. Desperately, she added in, "I'll throw in a large black cat plushie that can record her voice on it? Humans have that technology now."

Soi Fon smirked to the substantial offer and patted her head like a puppy, "See? You give a little, you get a little."

Immediately, Ruka perked up at the acceptance and she grinned slyly, "Does that mean I'm trustworthy now? Everyone thinks I'm liable to blow up the Seireiei-"

"You _did _blow up a living quarter a month ago" she pointed out matter-of-factly and gave her a knowing look that Ruka shifted her gaze away from. Okay, that was ages ago in 'Ruka time' so it was old news and hardly worth recognizing; although she did gain comeuppance. The shorter woman continued by scolding tartly, "If anything, we should _prohibit _the transportation of any flammable materials into your hands.

Ruka pouted at the possibility of being proclaimed as a health hazard and crossed her arms childishly to complain in a long drawl, "But it was to uphold my _honor_. You'd do the same if someone tried to usurp your position with Yoruichi Shihoin."

"Hmm, you do make a valid point" the captain commented slowly, dismissing the scolding she'd had in store for the woman. Whenever the previous second squad captain was mentioned, her brain turned into mush and her gray eyes twinkled. Not to seem soft in public of all places, she crossed her arms and ordered, "I don't care if you blow up other divisions but mine is strictly off limits. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, ma'am. . ." she obeyed quickly with a military salute but paused to ask hesitantly, "What if part of a building from _another _division falls into yours?"

Soi Fon gave her that creepy smile she gave to enemies near death and stated darkly, "You don't want to know."

"Gotcha, captain" Ruka squeaked quickly and changed the subject to save her little speck of a life. Captain Hisagi wouldn't approve of finding her dead body dumped over his new captain's doormat at one in the afternoon and would save him the trouble of digging a hole to dump her in. Raising her index finger, she brought up curiously, "Here's a question for you. How do you get Yoruichi to hang out with you?"

"We usually bump into each other or I go- I mean, she comes to _me" _the captain restated to sound like the dominant one out of the two and quirked an eyebrow. "Why?"

"I can't get Byakuya to do anything, he sits there like a stump- all glare and no movement" she confessed with a slight frown on her face to her friend's inability to have fun. She couldn't compare him to anything else but an old dried stump! His fun consisted of boring aristocratic events or chores and training. She didn't mind training with him until he made it his mission to point out that life in general was never meant to be amusing. Really, how could she have such a downer as a best friend? He'd been a regular hell-raiser ages ago! He'd once put a frog inside one of his elder's tea just for kicks before dumping a bucket of honey over the man and feathering him an hour later. Now _that _was the Kuchiki she remembered.

"Oh no, I'm not getting involved in your schemes" Soi Fon argued instantly at the woman's tendency to cause disaster. She'd already heard of the gigantic garbage pile she'd thrown into the Kuchiki estate and would hear nothing about future plans. Firmly, she stated to the woman, "You came to be signed off as trustworthy so _that _is what you're going to do."

"Oh!" she groaned to her burst bubble but nodded agreeably since she wanted the task done so she could visit the third squad tomorrow. The faster she finished this, the better. Swatting away a bothersome bug that kept breaking into her personal space because of the dressing stains, she asked listlessly, "Anything I should know about the third squad?"

Soi Fon's face became nauseated in disgust and she warned tightly, "A lot of thumb wars, belching, and sake drinking."

"Great" she muttered flatly to that uncomfortable prospect and followed the captain to the mess hall for lunch.

Their feet barely made noise over the cemented ground as they walked onwards and Soi Fon took notice of the brunette's recent hair style, prompting her to ask awkwardly, "Ruka, why is your hair similar to mine?"

"Well, I got it blown off and I thought 'what's the coolest short style I can think of?' so naturally you came to mind with the sheared layers but I don't have any bangs- so there's no carbon copy to worry about!" she explained cheerfully, ruffling her shaggy locks proudly, while Soi Fon wondered if she ever made Yoruichi Shihoin feel this way. By that, she meant annoyance.

"C'mon before I change my mind about signing the damn thing" she muttered flatly but felt a little elated at having an aristocrat look up to her. She'd grown up tending to them like a foot servant but now she had a tagalong to call her own. True, not the kind she'd want with total obedience (plus her tendency to blow up things wasn't a good trait) but the brunette would do as long as she didn't explode or accidentally gore her division.

* * *

"Why did I pick so many clubs?" Ruka groaned in exhaustion as she sat down sloppily in Byakuya's clubhouse and as always, she'd arrived first. Everything was already in its neat order since she knew Byakuya was notoriously stubborn when it came to organization. Darting a quick scan around the room, she deemed it clear and collapsed onto her back over the wooden floor for relief. Her face broke into a wide cheesy grin as she sighed blissfully, "Ah, sweet relief at last."

Byakuya stepped into the room a minute later and found her sprawled like an old dog over the floor. Would she ever behave correctly in his presence? A sigh escaped his lips lightly and he resisted from tapping his foot as he admonished aloofly, "Ruka, you're not displaying yourself respectfully. A lady must-"

"Put a sock in it, my spine is killing me" she growled to protect her aching spine from a world of pain and flipped onto her stomach to tuck her arms under her chin. Man, a good masseuse would've been good right about then. His face hardened to the interruption but he said nothing of it and she declared it a victory. She knew he could be a softie in his weird 'I am so much better than thou' attitude and complained loudly, "I need to see Retsu. Must. . .have. . .healer meds."

Byakuya let her rant until her attention shifted to another subject and she smiled again, pointing to a painting tucked neatly against the left corner of the room as it pictured a familiar koi pond with a bridge overhead. Proudly, she lifted her hand to wave it like an announcer and declared, "I brought you a gift of my own talents and don't you _dare _say you're flunking its art value because if so. . .then your home isn't worthy of them so ha! I may be down like a crippled dog past its prime-" she paused at her constant uses of old dogs this whole day and decided a change had to be made and showed her canines to grin, "but I will not be afraid of biting your ankles!"

Byakuya simply let a small smile form on his lips to her childish threats which brightened her mood considerably and he spoke with the tiniest subtle hint at joking, "You're not bribing me for your grade, Ruka, but I will accept it graciously."

_Hey, it was worth a shot_, she thought to herself craftily.

"That's all I ask" she smiled happily at finally giving him a gift that he wouldn't destroy or have it blow up in his face and watched him set the painting behind one of the sliding doors in the clubhouse. He returned to his seat with that unfailing grace of his (not to mention making her look shabby) and Ruka joked to ruffle his feathers, "You can be really picky sometimes, Byakuya. I liked it when you used to get all angry and that purple vein popped out of your forehead-"

"Scatter, Sen-"

She jumped up in alarm instantly, forgetting the twinge of pain in her back, and yelled frantically, "No, don't kill me! You can't kill the _only _childhood friend that still talks to you!"

_What? I have lots of friends!_, Byakuya thought indignantly but said nothing of it. He'd enjoy this current torture for the strike at his personal life.

Throwing herself at his feet for mercy, Ruka noticed no pink petals of death were flying around her and she glared up at him from her degrading position on the floor. Great, now she looked like a pauper asking the king for more rice this season. She could see a hint of mischief in those slate eyes and she snapped to protect her bruised pride, "You were joking, weren't you?! Death isn't funny, you know! Oh, you're so lucky Monosugoikaze is lazy or _else_-"

"Scatter, Senbon-"

She clamped a hand over his mouth that promptly cut off his air supply and cried in self-preservation, "No, I'll listen! Just don't cut me into tiny pieces of sandwich meat. I wouldn't taste good," his thin eyebrow rose to that awful idea of cannibalism and she faked a gag to state, "I'm likable to give indigestion with all the chemicals I'm exposed to."

He ushered her away so he could finally breathe again, shaking his head to the inner workings of her strange mind, and Ruka threw herself on the floor again in relief at being spared a swirly pink death. Really, she'd rather die being incinerated or drowning rather than by his flowers of doom. Byakuya could only wonder at how she was raised this way despite being from a good aristocratic family. True, Shunsui Kyoraku was the most flamboyant one he'd met so far but she spent most of her time alongside himself so obviously, his composed demeanor wasn't rubbing off on her. Well, it could've turned out worse and she could've been parading herself indecently. He just knew the next words out of his mouth would be regretted later but dared to ask anyway, "Ruka, would you like to have dinner with Rukia and I tonight?"

Whenever she was in the Seireitei, the two would always meet for dinner to catch up (though she managed to track him down within an hour just fine) and opted to have the dinner in his home. Why, you ask? After many years of living a privileged life, Byakuya is used to certain foods so when Ruka cooks up exotic foods from her travels that he's never eaten. . .well, nobody on the third floor of his home can avoid the barfing sounds as he hurls back that same dinner. Last time, he'd allowed her to cook and decided on a simple foolproof lobster theme. . .it didn't blow over well either.

'_You expect me to just throw it in the boiling pot? Are you insane?! It's alive!' she'd yelled furiously as she threw the helpless lobster back in its safe salty bath. She shut off the heat that was burning hot, throwing water in the wooden pile that served as a stove in her parent's home. Both were engulfed in white smoke within seconds and Byakuya held back a growl to her childishness. Nonetheless, she managed to prod his chest angrily between the gray smokescreen, 'This is not what I had in store when it came to cooking a lobster!'_

'_It's a lobster, its death is inevitable' he justified sharply and grabbed the lobster himself but she punched him in the gut. Really, she was exaggerating now and reprimanded, 'Ruka!'_

'_That little guy is going back to the water and we're having steamed cabbage' she retorted firmly and glared at him as the smoke settled between them. She pushed the lobster's sanctuary pot aside and snapped resolutely, 'One more word and I'm throwing you in the water. Let's see how you like the role reversal.'_

_His eyes narrowed at her threat with a glare that would turn most into begging bundles and he ground out, 'I came for dinner and I am eating it.'_

_She crossed her arms and challenged him right back, 'Well, it's my house and I say we're eating cabbage. So either love it or leave it.'_

"Well?" he asked impatiently when she didn't respond to his request. What was it now? He prayed she wouldn't cook an animal he'd never heard of and tried to keep any anxiousness clear off his face.

Ruka's face blanched at his request, scrambling up on all fours, and she blurted out in horrified exclamation, "You _do_ plan to eat me, don't you?! You don't cut your hair with Senbonzakura, you _eat _people with it! How dare you turn little Rukia into a cannibal!"

"Ruka!" he reprimanded sharply, almost rethinking his entire childhood friendship with her at this point. Sometimes, he was almost sure she irked him like this on purpose. She slouched as she sat up, submitting to his order with a grumble under her breath.

"All right, I'll go" she mumbled weakly to his unwavering stare and scratched her head with an innocent grin. After five seconds, she looked away before he scrutinized her further and mumbled, "Anything to stay out of ninth. Man, they're boring to talk to except my captain. He's cool, even better than you."

He shot her another glare for the lack of respect and she massaged her neck to grin nervously, "Not that you're not cool, that is. You get respect as a noble anyway so yay for Kuchiki!"

She patted her pockets for who knows what while he didn't find the joke amusing and told him absentmindedly, "Hmm, I don't have fireworks to celebrate but I have an old sparkler in my bag if you want a mini praise of fire."

Byakuya was about to object but noticed purple bruising around her neck, similar to a hand print, and observed it carefully in silence as she babbled on. It most definitely _wasn't _a marking from training. Someone had assaulted the lieutenant. His friend. Ruka saw his growing dark stare and looked down at his target causing her to quickly cover her neck with her shikahusho to conceal it. This was not going to be a peppy conversation by the looks of it. Nervously, she started on another topic to draw him away but he cut in coldly, "Who touched you?"

"No one, I. . .um, I was training, simple as that" she stammered shyly but he grasped her arm suddenly to raise her black sleeve as she protested and observed it for similar prints. What was he now, her father? It was irksome when he became overprotective, then again, she would to if the same happened to him. She tried to yank her arm back but his grip was airtight and gave up the struggle when he tightened it even further.

"There's no bruising on your arms from training" he stated sharply and let her go for an explanation, eyeing her suspiciously to hear her say in this. She was going to tell him whether she liked it or not; he could be as persistent as she to get what he needed. She winced inwardly, biting her bottom lip worriedly when his voice asked tightly, "Who was it? The truth, Ruka."

"It's nothing, please don't worry-" she evaded to dismiss the whole thing but he wasn't dropping it. The years hadn't mellowed out his overprotection and she frowned as she realized he was cornering her. Was this how Rukia felt whenever she got hurt or messed up in a mission? She rather liked it when he got angry rather than have him give her that impassive mask which revealed nothing. Boy, the years sure changed people.

"If you don't tell me, I will take it up with Captain Komamura and your uncle" he pointed out crossly and she turned away from him stubbornly. Was she seriously trying to cover up for the person at fault? He closed his eyes for a second to give himself a moment of serenity to combat his friend's naivety on the situation. Firmly, he emphasized on every word to get through to her thick skull (for a smart woman, she sure could be an idiot) as she crossed her arms defiantly, "Ruka, someone hurt you and I'm sure anyone else who sees this will believe the same."

"I can take care of myself, Byakuya" she assured softly as having it go public was the last thing she wanted. When Byakuya Kuchiki told you he was outing your secret, an hour was the most he gave you to prepare. She wanted to settle the whole matter with her signature of revenge but knew her friend wouldn't drop the problem. It was to maintain the Seireitei's principles and their pride as nobility as any typical aristocrat was taught. Well, maybe him since she didn't care about her title by name.

"You've proven otherwise with that injury" he said frostily to knock her down a peg for protecting the attacker and she gazed at the floor meekly. Upsetting her wasn't part of his interrogation method but he wouldn't go soft on her just because she was his friend. Crossly, he questioned, "Was it someone from your new squad?"

"No" she mumbled under her breath and wringed her hands together nervously in her lap. Sometimes he could really be a stick in the mud.

"Why didn't you use your zanpakuto? Self-defense isn't against the law" he grilled to get to the bottom of it in case there was an offender loose in the Seireitei harassing women that needed to be taken care of swiftly. The other reason was to confront his friend's attacker. She'd always been too trusting of others since childhood and he was constantly there to bail her out. He wasn't trying to be a martyr over it but it was the truth, yet he never stopped doing it. Call him crazy but he stuck by to every mess she got into. He crossed his arms with that fearsome captain's air about him and asked quietly, "Did they catch you off-guard or did you allow them to do this?"

She sighed noncommittally, knowing she'd told her captain already and news would spread quickly for humiliation's sake, and confessed grudgingly between clenched teeth, "You're going to hear about it anyway so. . .Captain Kurotsuchi did it during an article pick-up for Hisagi's magazine and I may have provoked him. Keep this to yourself, okay?," her finger prodded his shoulder with no real threat behind it, "I mean it, buddy."

"Why?" Byakuya asked stiffly, not amused in the slightest by her antics for peace and would definitely pay a visit to the certain captain. The man was allowed to do just about anything in Soul Society without getting a fine or facing restrictions. He hated people that defied their laws more than anything. . .oh, and people that attacked his loved ones but _still_.

"Don't laugh or I will tear off your kenseikan" Ruka ordered sharply and stood up as pain prickled down her spine for the hundredth time. Man, she needed those painkillers real bad. She shifted her weight to one leg to postpone her suffering and felt tiny under his gaze even though she was the one towering over him at the moment. Embarrassingly, she glanced at the hardwood floor and admitted to him, "I told my captain that he kicked my ass. Literally. That's why I've been lying on the floor like a lazy animal since I came in."

She rubbed her backside with both hands and mumbled irritably, "You have a throw pillow I can use for the meeting?"

His lips thinned to her easygoing tone on her injury and she cringed when he stood up to snap at her like a parent scolding their unruly child, "He assaulted you, Ruka. You've never been one to pin the blame on anyone."

_(118 years ago)  
Byakuya had just finished his last class for the day and slung his pair of books over his shoulder with a witty grin as he held onto the leather strap. In a few months, he'd be a graduate of the Academy and be placed into the ranks of the court of pure souls. His spiritual energy alone guaranteed a spot and his name would allow him to rise as well. He hated it when Ruka scolded him that skill and strategy would allow him to succeed in battle, not political influence. She was right but he wouldn't admit it. He was a guy, guys didn't relent to girls._

_As he descended the white steps of the academy, he spotted Ruka next to their after-school meeting spot in front of a large tree. The two would head to lunch before starting their extracurricular lessons (mostly on her part) and talk about what squad would suit them. Both wanted to be accepted in the same squad to remain in each other's company and he took it upon himself to watch over his meek friend. His slate colored eyes narrowed when he saw his little friend arguing with another male student wearing a smug grin. He knew the guy, they were pretty much the class bully in their year. As he approached, he could see that Ruka's arms were clutching a small cardboard cutout box towards her chest._

_Damn, it must be about that stupid pet rock again, he thought tiredly about her newest quirk and restrained himself from sighing aloud. Why the hell does she keep bringing it? That's, like, the biggest 'hit me' target sign._

"_Ruka, is something the matter?" he asked calmly even though he was irritated on the inside and her blue eyes lowered shyly to the grass._

"_No, this jerk was just leaving" she muttered with a slight glare towards the taller student but he laughed mockingly to her passive way._

"_I guess you Kyorakus are all the same: all talk, no action" he insulted rudely and she remained silent. Obviously, there was no way she could win in a fist fight and zanpakuto usage was banned outside of the academy walls._

"_Why don't you take a hike before I hand your ass over to you on a silver platter?" Byakuya spoke coldly and placed himself between the two to guard his friend. Ruka's hand wrapped around his arm from behind worriedly but he stood tall as he smirked, "Kyorakus may be gentle and lazy by nature-" "Hey!" "-but Kuchikis sure as hell aren't and picking on girls just screams sissy all over the place. What's wrong? Too weak to take on someone your own height? Trying to compensate for something else?"_

"_You nobles are all the same, cocky" the guy sneered while Ruka tried to tug her friend away, not wanting to cause a scuffle on her part. Byakuya's lips only widened to stand up to the challenge and the blond bully frowned to his unrelenting posture. He threw a punch towards the dark haired teen as he threatened, "Boy, you're asking for it!"_

_Byakuya dodged with ease as he shoved Ruka to the side safely with his precise reflexes that almost knocked her down. She sighed exasperatedly to his stubbornness on retreating from anything when he grinned smugly to laugh, "No, I'm begging for it, who's gonna give it to me? You? So far, you can't land a single hit on me. At least you'll make good Hollow food on your first mission." _

_The guy growled angrily to the direct insult but before he could attack the other student, Ruka threw several rocks to land perfect blows to his face. It's not like the guy was gonna get any uglier anyway. Byakuya might've had cat-like reflexes but she held a perfect aim in all ranges. The other boy reeled back in surprise and pain to the attack which she took full advantage of to grab Byakuya by the sleeve and flash step the hell out of there._

"_Ruka, I would've had the guy crying like a baby in two minutes!" he objected with an annoyed growl to her interruption as he ran besides her and shook his head. Here he comes to rescue her and she makes them flee the fight? Most girls would be cheering to have their honor upheld. He didn't get her sense of right and wrong sometimes. The bigger question was why she didn't tell him about it, best friends kept no secrets from each other. He threw her a glare for keeping him in the dark and snapped defensively, "Why didn't you say anything during lunch break?"_

"_I didn't want you in trouble and this pet rock's brought nothing but misery!" she mumbled scornfully and glared at her little red box containing a gray rock. Seriously, didn't her uncle know how embarrassing this was and the bruising it did to her self-esteem among her peers? Of course not, he told her to take it to take it to school and it would bring her new friends. If she was more outspoken, she would've told him to pick up a parenting book but no, she'd stick to bringing the rock as a tagalong of endless humiliation. Byakuya was easily the most popular guy in school with his background that hooked the best of friends and good looks that girls trailed after while Ruka had to fight through crowds at lunchtime just to swap notes. Frankly, she remained surprised that he kept their friendship close despite their different runs in crowds but was touched by it. She really hoped he wouldn't screw it up by becoming cocky (even more so) or turn into a jerk; happy people were more her kind. Her fingers dangled the box to wave it in front of his face and she exclaimed tiredly, "I'd rather lose the stupid rock than risk either of us being suspended so close to graduation."_

"_That's only if you get caught" he pointed out haughtily with a cheeky grin and snorted with disappointment to the rule abiding Ruka. His hand patted her back as he jumped over a few rocks in his path and told her, "You have to learn."_

"_Oh, like using a binding spell at the start of class and letting a guy break his face down the stairs was so invisibly crafty?" she argued smugly to an incident of a week ago and smacked his shoulder playfully to deflate his ego a bit._

"_He took my seat, I couldn't let the Kuchiki honor be tarnished!" he shot back matter-of-factly to justify his actions and she shook her head to his hotheadedness. Byakuya switched the blame game from him back to her and tried to keep his voice uncaring as he pointed out, "I won't be there forever to fight your battles, Ruka."_

"_I didn't ask you to. . .but thank you, Byaku" she smiled appreciatively and gave his ponytail a gentle yank as his face dropped to the given nickname.  
(End)  
_

"He's a captain" she mumbled out pathetically and pointed to her zanpakuto in emphasis. Like she'd really stand a chance against Kurotsuchi. Bluntly, she reasoned, "There's no way mine would ever defeat his and with my skills, I'd need to use it. With my luck, I'd be poisoned before I make the first strike. Besides, Kyoraku's aren't snitches or violent towards others."

"Says the woman who threw me down the stairs a week after I brought Rukia to live at the Kuchiki estate" he stated flatly as his eyes narrowed heatedly and she gave him a goofy grin for the reminder. The strike to his dignity and the painful bump he'd gotten on the back of his head sure wasn't funny either. Why couldn't she stay meek like long ago instead of this sarcastic go-getter?

"I was teaching her indoor soccer, it's not my fault you walked right into the ball and fell down the stairway- at least you didn't land on your head" she justified innocently with a sweet smile (which he didn't buy for a millisecond) as she tried to sway the topic of her bruises away. He wasn't biting _that _baiteither.

Byakuya shook his head to her careless behavior and gave her the most serious stare he could muster, worse than his 'touch my Senbonzakura and die', before stating clearly, "I have _never _approved of your association with that man but out of respect for you-"

"Aw, so you _do _respect me" she cooed excitedly and tried to pinch his cheek, only to be swatted away like a bothersome fly. Why couldn't he break from that icy fortress of his and join in her banter? She'd been his sidekick ages ago but now she got squat when she wanted to use him as hers. Woe was her humorous life without a Kuchiki to play scapegoat with.

"Out of respect, I accepted it, but no captain should lay a hand on an unarmed woman" he finished tersely and she pouted to the lectures that never ceased when she was in his company. She stared blankly at him as he kept talking and swore he had to have a handy book somewhere filled with lectures written just for her. Byakuya snapped his fingers before her eyes as he saw the glazed look overcoming her attention and she straightened instantly as he berated, "He could've sent you away by summoning his lieutenant, he shouldn't have laid a hand on you. You cannot trust everyone and expect them to return that honor, especially when everybody knows a man like Kurotsuchi is not to be trifled with."

"I didn't know he'd overreact, I'm also at fault-"

"Stop covering over the mistakes of others, anybody who hurts you like this shouldn't be protected" he ordered sharply with a no nonsense tone and she nodded quietly to obey the captain. Best friend or not, he was still her superior in the workplace and his word held higher authority than hers. His fingers went over the purple bruising and she winced to the sensitivity of her skin which allowed him to score another point by saying, "An injury like this would've caused asphyxiation and possibly broken cartilage or bone inside your throat, it is no laughing matter. You should not meet that man in any setting unless another captain or lieutenant is present. Your dealings with shady people worry me sometimes, Ruka. I don't want to find you dead over an incident that could've been prevented."

She gazed at the ground like a scolded child but saw the whole point in his words: She'd acted like a naïve idiot who should've sought help. Leave it to Byakuya to make you feel incapable of looking after yourself. Still, his last honest words reminded her that he was only looking out for her best intentions to keep her on the right path. . .and alive with all of her limbs. That was pretty sweet and she'd take it as a sign that she meant something. It felt nice to matter to somebody rather than be a convenience. She shuffled her feet uncomfortably and murmured glumly, "I'm not a helpless baby, Byakuya, and I'm not easy to kill either. If I was, I would've been dead long ago with half the stunts I pull off. Just. . .trust me on this, okay? That's all I ask."

Byakuya took his hand away to cross his arms impassively and knew he was somehow going to regret his choice, "Fine, but it doesn't mean I have to like it."

Two hours later, Ruka presented her next piece of calligraphy to her friend after packing up her belongings and he mulled it over as she tapped her foot impatiently. Her eyebrow twitched as she saw him pick at every stroke, alignment, color depth, and was about to yell it wasn't made to be a masterpiece when he spoke,

"Acceptable."

"Damn right it is, picky Byki" she remarked proudly and yanked her paper back from his grip, tearing it completely in half. Her mouth slacked in shock as she saw the two torn pieces of paper and she accused him instantly, "You did it on purpose! You hate it when I don't make you look good!"

"Your patience needs work, Kyoraku" he said simply as her fit didn't rile him one bit and gave her the other half without another look. He suspected that she wanted an apology but it was her own hasty action that tore the paper so there would be none. She glared at him despite her short height and he pointed to the door to suggest coolly, "You may leave."

She pressed her two torn pieces together, wishing they would stick miraculously and sulked for her ruined work. There went two hours she wouldn't get back. Her friend passed by without so much as a sorry or 'it's okay' and she was ready to kick him right in the ass before the whole class as an audience when he stated quietly, "And a clan head must _always _look good."

"I knew it!" she exclaimed loudly about their constant competition of supremacy (though both knew he beat her by a long shot the size of the Seireitei itself) and all the other members inside the room stared at her in alarm to her outburst. Okay, now they probably thought she was crazy. . .even more so. Meekly, she searched their faces for recognition to what had transpired and asked weakly, "You heard him, _right_?"

Retsu tilted her head to the side, giving Ruka one of her 'there, there' smiles and asked kindly, "Heard what, dear?"

She groaned at having the once in a lifetime admission kept between them only and came close to pulling her hair out to match her paper. Why was he so crafty?! Her blue eyes glared at Byakuya's turned back and she stomped off towards the door as she grumbled miserably under her breath, "It's not fair. _He's_ the good one and _I'm _the bad seed."

The door to the clubhouse opened and Yachiru bounded in curiously with a smile on her face as she dodged Ruka, stepping on her feet accidentally as she zeroed in on her main target. The brunette dropped her papers to massage her throbbing toes as tears stung her eyes- for a short kid, Yachiru sure could break bones. Byakuya's fists clenched at the new arrival's intrusion and Ruka winced inwardly as she hopped around on one foot, hoping he wouldn't use his bankai on them for causing him grief. She just knew that whole coffee incident wasn't over. Byakuya Kuchiki _never _forgot a person who humiliated him; she should know, she's been on that list plenty of times. The pink-haired girl bounded up to Byakuya with a carefree grin despite the apparent annoyance on his face as he walked around the room to avoid her. Ruka gave his escape attempt twenty seconds before it backfired but Yachiru crossed the distance in ten and yanked on his hakama to grin happily, "You have any sweets, Byakushi?"

The captain pulled out a brown box from his sleeve and gave it to her without any explanation. Yachiru opened it eagerly to see what Byakushi had given her and cried out when she saw what was inside. Not _that _dreaded thing. Her hand held it at arm's length as she exclaimed with offense, "No! I don't want that thing! It's weird!"

She gave him back the box hastily with a disappointed frown, leaving the house as quickly as she'd come in. . .stomping over Ruka's other foot on her way out. The brunette could only muffle a whimper as to why life was treating her awful this week and slumped against the wall to soothe her other foot this time. Byakuya's eyebrow rose as he saw her rubbing her sandaled foot like a toddler would and sauntered over to see what little Yachiru had caused. Byakuya couldn't help but find a sordid satisfaction from seeing the duo separated and one of them hurt from another's exit.

Instead of inquiring with a friendly tone, he sighed to flatly remark, "You're not even out of this house and already, you've been injured."

"Thank you for your obvious kind words to my condition, your majesty" she shot back sarcastically and released her foot to try walking over the floor. Pain tingled in her toes but she'd ice them a little before heading to bed. . .oh damn, she had to go to dinner first. His face broke into a small frown which she relished in causing but her mind also wondered what had stopped the candy-addicted child in her tracks. Nothing and nobody stopped that little bulldozer. Impishly, she snuck over to peek at the box but her curiosity got the better of her and she grabbed his hand to pull it away to analyze its contents. Byakuya let her indulge (in hopes that maybe it would repel her too) to his creation and she stared puzzlingly at. . .well, she didn't really know how to describe the caricature-looking taiyaki.

Bursting into laughter, she laughed even harder when he scowled at her reaction to his personal creation and lowered her guffaws to not disturb the class. Whoopsie, not very polite of her. Ruka stared between her friend and the box, begging the question amusingly, "What is _this_?"

"I call it the Seaweed Ambassador" he pointed out stiffly to protect his artistic pride and yanked it out of her hand before she could make another grab for it. He tucked it away into his sleeve as she muffled another laugh behind her hands and restrained himself from sighing at her childish tomfoolery. Blandly, he stated uncaringly, "Apparently, Kusajishi will never like it which is. . .good."

"I think it's cute and hey, it's food- can't beat that" she giggled innocently but she wouldn't have minded eating the thing. Food was food and if the creation was delicious, she'd turn it into stomach acid. Was her friend trying to start an eatery business? She could never tell with that extreme poker face of his. On the other hand, she couldn't disregard the style of his work and grinned cockily to fake an airy sigh, "You may have beautiful handwriting but your artist's hand isn't at my level. Who knew _your _artistic creations would remain stuck at prepubescent cartoon levels while _mine _surpass-"

"Scatter-"

"No!" Ruka ran off without another word and the stoic captain simply returned to his work as Renji raised his hand to finally be listened to after ten minutes. Byakuya decided to take that little victory onto his scoreboard once again. With perfectly executed precision, he'd killed two birds with one stone; a Kuchiki never failed, after all.

* * *

Shinigami Extras:

Rangiku squealed like teen schoolgirl and grabbed Ruka into a tight hug to cheer, "You joined my club!"

"Well, Sajin _did _ban me from partying but not a club" she replied with a muffled voice from within her friend's bosom. Really, those airbags were liable to asphyxiate somebody one day. Her arms flailed wildly for desperate release as she cried out from between her breasts, "Ran, I can't breathe!"

She let her go with a playful pout on her face and sighed, "You're almost as bad as the captain: 'Matsumoto, stop hugging me, 'Matsumoto, don't leave your sake here', 'Matsumoto, don't give random people my address', 'Matsumoto, don't paint my nails', 'Matsumoto, cover yourself', and on and on."

. . ."So what're you teaching today?"

The blond smiled brightly at the brunette's question and placed her finger in the air to declare with a proud grin that Ruka was instantly wary of, "A dancing technique that has become quite popular in the world of the living."

Ruka leaned forward in anticipation and her friend replied giddily with a clap of her hands, "Pole dancing."

The brunette blanched to the horrendous idea and she shrieked, "What?! Why would I want to learn a thing like that?!"

"To show off your body as a work of art" she shrugged casually with a perky smile that had Ruka deadpanning and pointed to a few metal poles already installed inside the clubhouse. Ruka turned red at what she would do on such a metal contraption and Rangiku assured with a simple wave of her hand, "You'll do fine and I'm sure someone will enjoy the dance you learn."

"I'm not going to show anyone!" Ruka exclaimed shrilly, embarrassed to actually having to this. . .this. . .ugh, she couldn't find an indecent enough word. She shook her head to refuse partaking in this meeting and groaned helplessly, "Oh man, I picked the wrong day to join. Isn't there another dance you can do?"

"No, I have it all planned out" her friend replied chirpily as nothing was considered extreme to her and squeezed the grumpy woman again. It did nothing to lighten her mood and Rangiku scoffed to her conservative nature, patting her cheek to gush, "Oh, you'll look adorable since you're short."

"Thanks, Ran" she muttered dryly and regretfully surrendered to the humiliation she would face.

Half an hour later, Ruka stood before the pole and glared as if it were her greatest enemy; even greater than a Hollow. She had opted to do one of Rangiku's instructed movements but lazily and could only stare in dismay as her friend performed each like a limber cat. No wonder she was the most popular, she had the looks and everything that swooned men and sometimes women to their feet. Ruka hadn't been able to enlist Nanao to go with her, who'd absolutely refused flat out, and could only sulk alone like a wet kitten.

"What's wrong, Lieutenant Kyoraku?" Nemu, the only person she recognized there, softly asked her from the left.

"What's _wrong _is that I'm draping myself over a pole for. . .well, I don't know what for but I don't like it!" the brunette ranted irritably and gripped her short hair in both her hands to release her frustration as the other woman stared blankly. Ruka was embarrassed enough to be wearing one of those stupid skintight spandex creations and hated the feeling of exposure. She looked at the pole disdainfully and growled out, "The last time I draped myself over anything- well, let's just say it's bedroom privacy and it should stay that way. Behavior like this should be outlawed in my view. . .oh heavens, you can see my curves! They weren't meant to be seen by the outside world! Why did old man Yamamoto allow such a club to form?!"

She panted as she pulled on the black fabric over her stomach in hopes of stretching it out to become baggy but got squat. This wasn't fair! Craving to kick the pole, she knew Rangiku would make her pay it. . .plus the fact that her foot would probably break was also a heavy no-no. Instead, she took the peaceful road of zen and asked Nemu, "How the heck are you so flexible?"

"I was designed to have a fighter's body, meaning flexibility and agility along with other traits to survive in the battle field" she replied calmly and Ruka could only blink at her eerily calm. Wow, she must've made Kurotsuchi proud with her easygoing nature instead of rampaging around with his attitude.

"You're so quiet and composed, a trait Mayuri had in his earlier years" the older woman smiled genially and wiped sweat from her eyebrow since all of the movements in this dance actually took out good energy from you. Her lips turned down into a frown as she ground out blandly, "He's only become worse from what I've seen but I'm sure he treats you okay."

"You could say, he is a rather strict individual" Nemu hesitated lightly on the topic and the other's eyebrow raised. Was quiet little Nemu hiding something? Her interest peaked when the lieutenant added in, "Nobody is perfect but he is my creator."

Ruka smiled wryly and shook her head to chuckle, "He's made it worse with the makeup. He once grabbed a boiling beaker from my station to empty, I screwed up apparently under his scrutiny, and he didn't wince at all. Years later and I still can't do that without screaming bloody murder."

"You knew him well?" she asked curiously to satisfy that itch that's been brewing in the back of her mind and the brunette grinned at finally getting a reaction besides calmness. Both were practically psychoanalyzing the other but none was the wiser.

"About seven years I'd say" Ruka responded easily with a satisfied nod since she had enjoyed her time there. Well, her time before she dumped Kurotsuchi and left to join the thirteenth squad with Byakuya. She leaned against the pole to state with a smile, "Worked as one of his assistants. I left the twelfth division while he trained to become captain and rarely saw him afterwards. Only once I believe."

Rangiku stepped in between the chatting women and pointed to the metal poles to order, "Get going, ladies. No time for chitchats."

Ruka groaned loudly and grabbed her friend by the arms to plead, "C'mon, Rangiku, I'm going to ruin my spine every time I fall and Kurotsuchi already knocked out half of my tailbone!"

Her friend burst into laughter like her friends had done earlier (she was getting tired of telling everyone only to get laughed at) and Nemu allowed a smile to crack on her face. The blond guffawed loudly as she held her sides and her blue eyes sparkled as she asked slyly, "He kicked you? That is it, _right_? It wasn't a late night fetish nookie gone-"

"Rangiku!" Ruka cut in before everyone in the room heard her and Nemu blushed at the lieutenant's words. Nobody needed to learn or even fathom that she'd been romantically linked to the man and only Nanao, Rukia, and Sajin would really know. Narrowing her sapphire eyes, she scoffed to bluntly scold, "Who knew you and Nanao had the same perversity. Look, can we just drop it and let me take off early? I already did three of those loop around thingies and landed on my ass- that's when I call it quits. There's no such thing as 'third time's the charm' for me."

Rangiku let out a long dramatic sigh but knew she couldn't keep the temperamental woman any longer in something she didn't want to do and muttered reluctantly, "Fine, but only because you look so cute in that little outfit."

"I'm killing the creator of spandex" Ruka grumbled about being anything remotely cute and grabbed her things off the floor. Upholding the last strings of her remaining dignity, she nodded stiffly to the women in goodbye, "Lieutenants."

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, a longer chapter for this monthly update since I have other projects I'm working on and the shinigami extra was actually part of the chapter but it was kinda short so I sliced it into the extra instead. The chapter seemed packed enough already so yeah. A thank you to everyone who's put me on their alert list and a response to my last reviewers:

-_Getsurenka_: I'm glad my humor's tickling you, that's what I'm aiming for with Ruka's character. I know how you feel about lectures, I can hardly stay awake sometimes in boring three hour lectures.

-_Kira michi_: I try to update as soon as I can but I tend to write long chapter fiction so my other stories take up a lot of time, especially one I'm writing on a movie called District 9 (the fans squeeze me for it) but don't worry, I'll always update this story. The story's getting off, finally, as Ruka begins her assignments of visiting every squad but I'm still not sure which team to root for, RukaxMayuri or RukaxByakuya. Maybe the readers can help me!


	12. A Kuchiki Affair

**A Kuchiki Affair  
**

* * *

Ruka walked to her captain's office with a tired swagger and a sore foot, insignificant battle scars for any shinigami but she'd received them from two of her colleagues so she'd keep mum on the embarrassment. Her blue eyes surveyed the reports a last minute check to deem them worthy of disclosing before knocking on the door. Her day at the second division had been an easy one for the restless Ruka as it mostly consisted of watching the fierce captain train mercilessly, her lazy lieutenant eat (and eat some more), and asking about recent changes in the division and Seireitei itself. The captain-commander had definitely brought a new change throughout the past three years to further unit cohesion between all of the divisions to prevent future disasters to the Soul Society. But mostly, it was just watching Suì-Fēng open a can of whoop ass on everyone and that could entertain Ruka for hours on end. That is, until she decided to use her as a punching bag which would cause Ruka to retreat back into the safety of her division.

The third division would be next on her itinerary and she wondered whether Captain Abarai would do the same to his subordinates, given the rumors of his short-fuse. She didn't mind one bit since her own captain was quite level-headed for one so young but as long Abarai didn't unwillingly drag her into a training session, it would be fine. Her zanpakuto was an elemental and could be fierce during the heat of battle, once she kicked him awake to take part in one. Her quickest way was to call him an 'old soul' since it irked him to be called as such due to his graceful easygoing nature but either way, it never failed. She'd briefly met Renji Abarai during her previous visits when he'd served as Byakuya's lieutenant and the young man practically walked on jagged glass shards every time he was in the noble's presence. She'd never have imagined him Byakuya's pick in lieutenancy due to the rough edges but the man was a determined soul which is why Ruka had nodded off happily to her friend when it came to picking him (she'd used gas bombs to escape being asked herself).

_For a younger man, I still got to say he's pretty darn hot_, she thought impishly about the tattooed man and loved teasing the Kuchiki heir about it just to ruffle his feathers.

"Come in, lieutenant" her captain answered from inside while she smoothed out any wrinkles in her uniform to appear presentable as always and opened the door slowly to step in. Polite as always, Ruka gave a small bow to her captain before placing her reports on his desk with a faint smile to maintain friendly professionalism. During her station with the seventh division, she could casually pop in to deliver reports to the captain without appointment but her reign of endless travel and home with the Komamura's squad had ended. Now, she adhered to the rules of the Seireitei and followed decorum to make sure her honor wasn't sullied by her own actions.

"Here are the reports from my second division experience, lieutenant's meeting, and the new recruits sorting into their quadrant squads" she informed evenly with a smile, happy she was done for the day and could wander off to spend the rest of her time doing things she liked. Also, she needed to wash up before meeting Byakuya at his estate or risk his blood freezing stare for appearing less than appropriate. Then again, if she had an entire group of handmaids to help dress her, she'd be set like him but she dressed herself (there was no way she was changing in front of people). Clasping her hands neatly behind her back, she piped up hopefully, "If there isn't anything else, I'd like to sign out and head to a prior engagement."

Shūhei nodded with satisfaction as he skimmed through the concise written reports, catching glimpses of her thorough handwriting as she didn't skip on being descriptive. His pile of paperwork was gradually disappearing with the passing days as she took bundles to work through them in her office since keeping the division efficient was imperative and he was impressed. The ninth division was a specialty field and Shūhei could not fail his newest position after trying to keep it together since Tousen's betrayal more than a decade ago. He was definitely glad to have her at his side and reminded himself to send a nice gift basket to captain Komamura as thanks for the suggestion. Setting the papers in his tray designated for finished work, he dismissed Ruka for the evening and advised kindly, "Your work is perfect as always, Ruka. However, I would like to see you spend more time here. You haven't been at dinner lately and I can only assume you've been at the seventh division."

_Busted_, she thought miserably at having her little secret discovered since grabbing food and flash stepping away wouldn't have sufficed for long before rumors started. She'd been splitting her dinner meals with her uncles and Sajin to prevent the awkwardness of being the new kid on the block. It was natural for shinigami to be cautious of newcomers in high rank due to past incidents but she'd been in the thirteen court guard squads for over a century and held extreme loyalty to the Sereitei (ugh, Aizen totally ruined it for them). She'd been a child of shinigami parents herself so her exposure began the moment of her birth, leaving little dedication to anything else as she'd watched her parents leave for missions during childhood and come back with stories. . .she missed those. Unfortunately, she'd been stamped as the oddball by most in ninth but she'd yet to think of a plan of how to change that.

"Sir, with all due respect, I still feel out of place here but I am trying my best" she answered calmly but felt the twinges of anxiety biting at her heart because being in trouble was unacceptable to the law abiding part of her. She could loophole her way out of the rules after decades of extensive reading but a chance to prevent disappointment would always take priority; she lived for the Seireitei. Her superior was the last person she would hide her problems from as conflicts of interest were to be annihilated and Ruka sighed softly to explain her reasoning, "I am trying to include myself in division nine activities but I've had a way of doing things on my own for a century due to my international relations station. I've been a lone wolf for decades, traveling through Soul Society under Komamura's command and haven't made many permanent bonds with shinigami here due to that. However, I'm a fast learner and will adapt to my new squad mates but sometimes. . .social interactions can be a little. . .tough."

"Meeting new people is hard, I will admit, and if it makes it easier for you, you can sit next to me during meal times to build your courage" her captain said softly to encourage her attempts and she nodded quietly to the suggestion. She didn't have many people to sit by without feeling uncomfortable because most had her feeling alienated within minutes and wondered if she was naturally repelling them like two negatively charged reishi particles. Her hope rested with the captain's kind offer since she had to make them see she was their second in command, a person they could depend on, or the respect would fall into the crapper.

"I will, sir, but I have to meet a friend tonight for dinner" she agreed gratefully with a sheepish smile since saying no to the sixth captain would not bode well but Shūhei dismissed her with a friendly wave of the hand. She bowed once more in respect and began to turn around until she remembered a recent discovery on her way to the captain's office. Ruka had never considered herself a very lucky person since burning your hair off was a prime example but she always found odd knickknacks for herself or others. Digging into her uniform's sleeve pocket, she produced a scrap of paper and handed it to her captain with a perky smile as she informed enthusiastically, "I found this coupon on the floor on my way here. I'm not much of a drinker but Rangiku says this is a good place to get 'drunk off your ass'- pardon the language."

Her eyebrows shot up as she remembered another tidbit and added in quickly, "Oh, and the Vienna sausage package I ordered from Germany's Seireitei will be here tomorrow and I will handle it personally."

He couldn't help but chuckle to her friendly nature as it was all he'd seen since her arrival and wondered why she was having a difficult time fitting in. Heck, she'd managed to find his favorite food from its direct homeland with her connections so he wouldn't complain. He would have to sit her down tomorrow to eat with their division in the mess hall before people started to think she was deserting them. Either way, he grabbed the coupon for a free beer after being strapped for cash this past month and smiled graciously, "Thank you, Ruka. I will use this off-duty."

"Or on duty, I don't mind covering for you- I've seen Nanao do it more than once for my uncle" she grinned cheekily to her uncle's laidback nature with his division and wondered if Nanao indeed was the toughest worker there. She'd actually prodded her playfully to transfer as Byakuya's second when Renji Abarai was promoted due to her strict work ethics but it only earned Ruka a hard hit on the head with her fat book.

* * *

"Your estate is rather far from my new squad" Ruka pointed out breathlessly after cheerfully greeting him, quickly trying to brush stray strands of damp hair behind her ears. She was dressed in a simple lilac komon kimono as the Kyōraku emblem decorated the sleeves to show that she hadn't lost her touch at appearing half-decent for a friendly dinner. A shower took care of the daily smell from training too so that did wonders for her after today's lengthy wanderings, especially if uppity nobles were wandering the estate. It was plainly obvious to the sixth captain that she'd sped through getting ready since she was a stickler for being early, whether ready or not. He didn't know whether having her late and prepared was better but kept the comment to himself.

Byakuya, however, had remained in his captain's garb for the evening and she assumed he had work to do afterwards. If she had any energy left after her excursions, she'd have done the same but no- she actually yearned for her bed tonight. Suì-Fēng ran her division strictly and Ruka's playful nature had no place there, which brought her extreme happiness at seeing her old friend. He might show the emotional capacity of a rock but he was the best at keeping her on her toes during conversation, allowing her to escape away from life's troubles. Smoothing out her kimono's sleeves, she grinned ecstatically and piped up proudly, "See? I dressed up to look normal for once in my life. . .ugh, I miss my comfy uniform."

_This is normal?_, Byakuya almost found himself speaking aloud but spared his friend's femininity since she avoided noble attire unless in his presence or her family's. If his elders had been present, he'd be justifying her simple and sloppy appearance to her military work while most likely being lectured why he maintained a friendship. Being a clan leader included the arena of politics and continuing its future dominance but he stoically indulged by keeping worthy friendships, regardless of a person's status in the aristocracy. Besides, it wasn't against the law of the Seireitei and therefore, legally allowed. Although her choice in kimono was fine, the layers were uneven at the neckline and her hair was damp while being left without style at the nape of her neck. He blamed this on her recent encounter with fire while abroad and wondered who was the idiot whom allowed her to wield it in the first place- Ruka shouldn't be near anything flammable, it just didn't end well for anyone.

"Ruka, setting your hair on fire gives no excuse for a lack of styling it" he lectured simply as she abandoned fixing her short brown hair, longing for long hair to brush. Hmm, maybe she could sneak behind Byakuya and brush his? He'd kept his black tresses at shoulder length for the past years in similar fashion to his father but they still surpassed her chin-length hair, cursing her failed experiment. She smoothed the ends of her hair but they refused to budge, remaining curly on end and she frowned to her stubborn tresses. First, they refused to curl and now, they were! Why couldn't she have stick straight hair like Byakuya? Her uncle had humorously told her that his own hair started out straight during his youth but eventually became wavy and untamable; it wasn't a welcome thought to poor Ruka.

He frowned slightly to her not so subtle attempts to brush through her strands and decided that next time, he wanted her presentable so she'd be the one making dinner. She tried to nonchalantly whistle her way out of it with a cheerful tune but he wasn't buying it and sighed disappointedly, "Ruka, must I do everything for you?"

Digging into the pocket of her right sleeve, his assumption was correct when he found a hair comb hidden within. Brushing back her damp hair to tuck it behind her ears, he rolled her short strands into a small French twist at the middle of her head and stuck the comb into it to tie it all together. She frowned to having her hair styled by one of her best friends, not to mention the Kuchiki heir, and she murmured a meek thank you. This wasn't the first time he'd done so but that would be kept between them as friends and also, he really didn't want anyone to know he held such skills. She might carry the strangest things in her pockets but Byakuya was pinpointing accurate to what somebody might need; he wasn't a captain for nothing.

"You are lucky my home is rather empty today but I can't speak about the estate" he informed calmly and straightened the layers of her kimono by hiding the middle ones because they were too crooked to fix. He was certain she'd use shunpo to head to her quarters immediately after dinner and any qualms clan members might have with her were often dismissed; he had more important things to worry about. Ruka was fortunate that her clan ranking didn't demand the heavy responsibilities his brought and couldn't imagine turning indifferent towards others simply because the clan commanded it. Byakuya's father had been quite the opposite, a jovial man with similar facial features and indigo eyes, but he hadn't broken clan rules like his son to warrant a constant critical eye looming over his shoulder. His slate colored eyes met her sapphire hue and he sighed under his breath in gentle reprimand, "You're still a little bird, you know that?"

"But I'm trying, I'll be a tough eagle one day. . .when I feel like it" she evaded the question by diverting the topic elsewhere before another lecture began about attaining her potential rather than staying stagnant. Her friend demolished all obstacles that allowed him to surpass his current skills but she went at it on her own pace in private to avoid everyone's expectations. She liked inventing new gadgets to help the Sereitei, especially for the fourth division, and it contributed just enough to match her lieutenancy assignments. Crossing her arms, she gazed at the hardwood floor to hide the flicker of shame he caused and murmured flatly, "You always make me feel self-conscious, your stern logic and lawful mind must be getting to me because it failed to do so decades ago."

She followed him through the silently empty corridor and she would've found it eerie in anybody else's house but this was Byakuya's, a ghost could fart and nobody would hear it. That's why she preferred the barracks, her private quarter was cozily small and she'd never find herself lost in a maze of silence. Within the Gotei 13 or in private, they walked alongside each other as a form of mutual respect but whenever there were others around, public roles shifted into place and she slipped behind as the inferior. Ruka didn't mind it one bit; she enjoyed teasing him about his hair but now that it was shorter in length, she couldn't use objectifying catcalls to irk him. Their voices echoed through the wooden hallway as he pointed out with satisfaction to her remark, "It's about time, you weren't this eccentric decades ago."

"And you were close to needing serious anger management ages ago, especially when you knocked that Hollow right through a human building" she stated impishly to his own quirks that he'd nipped in the bud ages ago during his station within Ukitake's squad. Ruka, however, would always remind him to see him squirm. . .well, mentally.

_(100 enlightening years ago)_

_Byakuya pointed to two separate wooden laundry baskets in the washing room of his family's mansion and grasped cotton socks from both. One distinctly read 'dirty socks' and the other 'clean socks' but he'd found filthy socks in both, infuriating the young heir. Who wanted dirt particles over clean clothing? It infuriated and baffled him! Standing in the middle of the doorway that led into the large laundry room that was currently empty of washers, he yelled furiously throughout the entire place, "When I put a sign that says dirty socks and clean socks, I expect them to be arranged correctly! Are you people blind and illiterate? I pay for your soap!"_

_Two weeks later brought another bout,_

_The young heir held a wooden bowl filled with a fragrant blue liquid and yelled to a dinner table full of his cousins, "Who's the person stealing my fabric softener? This stuff isn't cheap, it was recently created, so I expect names! Just because we're family, it doesn't give you the right to shamelessly steal from me!"  
(End)  
_

Byakuya showed no recognition of the events as his face remained coldly neutral but his voice held conviction for his petite friend, "I held no qualms with inanimate objects."

_(75 humorous years ago)_

_Byakuya was seated peacefully in his gigai, reading a human newspaper in his rented room for leisure when he heard a crash in the kitchen area. His investigating instinct kicked in instantly since he felt less safe in the humans' strange world and didn't want to see a burglar trying to rob his temporary home. He ran into the adjacent kitchen to find Ruka wrestling with a metal contraption called a 'can opener' and his face wrinkled in bewilderment to what he was witnessing. It had become entangled in her powder blue sweater by her left side and she condemned loudly with a hiss, "Foul creature of the dark abyss, you killed my blouse and now you've come back for me!"_

_He put an end to it by wrenching it free from her hands in one forceful yank, tearing a small hole in her sweater in the process, and threw it in the sink.  
(End)  
_

"What? We don't use metal contraptions to open food canisters here!" she justified matter-of-factly with a stiff nod to her perfectly reasonable reaction but the six captain merely gave her an apathetic gaze.

Rukia popped in to see the two adults locked in a staring contest, blocking the entire hallway, and wondered whether it was safe to throw herself into the fray. She usually allowed the two to resolve their issues (they never really became enraged at one another) since stepping into it would send them into another contest. It was times like this that she wondered, what would Chappy do? When she approached the two granite statues, she realized they weren't even blinking and asked with a calm voice, "Swapping stories for domination points again?"

"I partake in no such frivolities" he stated coldly since he was adamant that nobody knew of his younger wilder years since he followed each law down to the last word. Over the last five years, he eased his tight grasp whenever he found an injustice within the law itself because it wasn't perfect with the passage of time and allowed Ruka to do investigative work for him in the search of new evidence whenever he was in charge of controversial cases. The woman might be idealistic and foolhardy sometimes but she performed her task perfectly, digging into old archives until she found contradictions to current laws. He walked forward into the dining room with his confident gait and billowing captain's haori, beckoning the two women simply, "Rukia, Ruka, come along."

Ruka grinned broadly at the other lieutenant, milking the fact that their names were similar in sound to badger the captain and grinned cheekily, "We're a tongue twister all on our own. Ruka and Rukia raise rabbits-"

Byakuya merely kept walking towards the dining hall but silenced her by informing calmly with an underlying subtle threat in his voice, "I saw a porcelain doll today. . ."

Silence followed the rest of the walk.

* * *

"Ruka, put the jagaimo down" Byakuya reprimanded with dismay on his porcelain face as she'd stabbed two small boiled jagaimo with her chopstick to imitate dancing as she used her head as the prop. Rukia had been laughing throughout the entertainment but Byakuya was one that enjoyed a calm and easygoing dinner, not one where his friend used his food for fun.

The lieutenant grumbled under her breath but listened, picking one up to chew on it. Apparently, her friend would never use humor to unwind from underlying stress. She smiled mischievously as she stared at the half-eaten spud and imitated a small squeaky voice, "One for all and all for-"

"Eat with your mouth closed" Byakuya interjected immediately and she resisted from hurling the potato at his eye since he was insistent to treat her like a child. She narrowed her eyes but his stony glare brought an end to that and Ruka finished her potato, eyeing the soup in the porcelain bowl with interest.

"You should've made alphabet soup, you can eat _while_ you learn!" she suggested enthusiastically about the food she'd tried in the human world during her tours there and Rukia joined in to tell her all the words she'd formed with it. Byakuya was less than amused as items from the world of the living had no place in his life, deeming them unworthy unless they held importance to the Sereitei by improving technology or standards of living. He only visited the realm when Yamamoto ordered it himself and would not step foot there unless there was a dire need, resorting to sending his lieutenant to oversee missions. His frigid stare caused Ruka to shrug meekly since she was open-minded in incorporating human advancements with theirs and she justified knowingly, "It's what the advertisement says."

He sighed under his breath with that apathetic ambience of his and lectured coolly, "I truly hope this is not how you've behaved abroad or with your clan, Ruka. You're disappointing me."

"I always disappoint you, I could be the Spirit King hiding in sheep's clothing and you'd _still_ complain" she dismissed easily with a witty grin and Rukia blinked in surprise to her efficient response, their discussions reminding her of battle strategies as they flung arguments back and forth. If the words had been directed towards her, her confidence would've plummeted into the ground and pushed up daisies. Her brother rarely criticized her, a thankful comparison to decades ago, and when it _did _happen, it was due to clan duties since her work in the Seireitei brought no issues.

"If you were the Spirit King, we'd all be in serious trouble" Byakuya baited with a calm voice as he kept the debate ongoing, taking a small bite of his food with a graceful flick of the wrist. Ruka chuckled softly to his rebuttal, grasping a piece of beef from the soup with her chopsticks to tear into it with her sharp teeth to indicate she was preparing for her next bombardment. He would welcome it and sink her words like a steamboat to the bottom of the sea when striking an iceberg.

"If you were the Spirit King, we'd all be monotonous zombies with no personalities" she replied cheekily to his strict logic and allowed her eyes to glaze over Rukia with a listless face, hands falling into the stereotypical zombie pose. The younger Kuchiki muffled a snicker from the hilariously frightening expression since Ichigo had once tried the same tactic for humor purposes but it failed horribly when she beat him into the pavement in fear. The young Kurosaki would never attempt frightening her for as long as he lived. Ruka's mouth slacked in the classic pose as she'd seen them in the humans moving pictures and nodded off languidly with slurred words, "Yes, sir. No, sir. Very good, sir. No personality within, please insert soul."

"I'd prefer it over a court of jesters" he remarked coolly since he'd lived several days every few months over the past eighty years with Ruka's absurd humor when she returned from traveling abroad. Strangely enough, that was when her humorous defense began to build and the modestly sweet Ruka he'd known became buried under playful hilarity. He only caught glimpses of the polite woman during Gotei 13 business but within her division or home, she was a rambunctious hamster on sugar while assignments twisted her into a dangerous wolf. The fact that she and Yachiru had joined in an unholy alliance boded badly for him now that she was a permanent resident in the Seireitei.

Ruka pointed a chopstick in his direction, twirling it in a circle for emphasis and stated matter-of-factly, "Laughing _can_ kill you in the right amount. . . .and gas."

Her eyes suspiciously darted in both directions and she coughed nervously into her hand before muttering hesitantly, "I, uh, probably shouldn't have said that."

"Ruka, you know better than to be working with poison gas" Byakuya spoke firmly to her secrets experiments, hoping she wasn't working on something dangerous or illegal. He didn't question her when she created items for the fourth division but the fact she'd caused herself bodily harm on more than one occasion didn't sit well with him. She wasn't clinically insane like Kurotsuchi to use self-experimentation or live test subjects but the scientific demands for a breakthrough could change a person. Plainly put, he didn't want her doing unethical research on herself or anybody else.

Rukia knew she'd suffer her brother's wrath and couldn't help but ask curiously, "Why do you assume that it's poison?"

"It's Ruka, everything she touches either explodes or catches fire" Byakuya's voice rose to point out the woman's uncanny ability for destruction and cursed the day she joined the twelfth squad. If she never met the insane Kurotsuchi or allowed her scientific talents to flourish, she'd never have traveled abroad and would've retained half her sanity in public. Of course, she was her own woman so he couldn't have a direct say in her life and would make sure to use her as an example for his sister so she didn't turn out that way. He would also be steering Ruka from visiting the twelfth division to wean her off research projects to keep her mind whole and focused on serving her new division, one where she could pour her creativity skills to help the Seireitei. Their magazine was surprisingly popular.

Ruka merely smiled innocently to ruffle the captain's feathers and commented calmly with satisfaction, "I'm quite proud of my reputation so thank you for the compliment."

Byakuya's blood freezing stare and Ruka's unnatural perky smile kept Rukia's eyes moving like a ping-pong ball between both. She'd stopped eating her delicious supper to watch the two since most meals she ate alongside her brother brought unfortunate boredom beyond renown- he wasn't much of a conversationalist. It wasn't obvious to determine that she loved having agreeable company over from the Seireitei. However, her brother tended to place his disagreements with Ruka solely between them and like the hallway incident, this time was no different. Despite Byakuya's eyes were occupied in an attempt to squash Ruka's rebellion, he didn't hesitate to remind his younger sister like a stern parent, "Rukia, eat your meal before it grows cold."

She mumbled out an agreement and continued eating her meal but her eyes remained on the two, her ears eager for their entertaining chats. Her brother might not find Ruka's replies agreeable like a lady should behave but she found them hilarious, especially when she brought facial twitches to his face. It reminded Rukia of a melting iceberg as each move motioned that he was dwelling on his next move.

Ruka sipped her drink innocently since accepting her eccentric behavior was irksome to her disciplined friend and smiled afterwards to inform casually, "I meant laughing gas, you know. In the British Seireitei, upper-rank parties were held just for the fun of it. I thought you'd have heard since uncle Shunsui and Rangiku attended one during their vacation leave six years ago."

"And here I thought it was just an anesthetic" Rukia smiled to the new information, keeping her gaze lowered to avoid any frigid glares from her brother; they tended to leave a nightmarish mark on your psyche. She wasn't hesitant anymore to speak openly but made sure her opinions were neutral and not against her brother (he still held a higher rank, after all). She idly poked the vegetables in her soup as she explained with a curiosity laced into her voice, "In the world of the living, I saw this moving picture- a 'movie', they call it- with a painted villain like Kurotsuchi who killed people with such a gas and here I thought it was fake."

Ruka's face lit up to the existence of a fictional film about such a use for a gas and asked excitedly, "Oh! I must have the name, it could extend possible research about the chemical compound and-"

"Can we please have dinner without morbid talk? This is _not_ suitable dinner conversation" Byakuya demanded firmly to silence their girlish gabbing about using gas for warfare and they quieted instantly to return to their meals. He nodded in satisfaction to their lady-like behavior at the table since discussing death by gas toxicity was the least appealing topic anyone could partake in. On the other hand, if it had been about Seireitei news-

A second later, Ruka's voice broke the silence by stating grumpily, "I should've gassed you at the door just to see you giggle."

. . . _"Ow!"_

Ruka rubbed her forehead when a tiny orange projectile struck the center of it, her blue eyes pinpointing the culprit and found a flower-shaped ninjin (carrot) on the table. Rukia blinked with surprise since she hadn't seen a thing until the lieutenant yelped to the strike but if neither she nor Ruka had thrown it. . .

Byakuya dipped his chopsticks into his meal without glancing at the women, nor acknowledging his hidden actions, and calmly stated with his regal voice, "Manners, Ruka."

* * *

**A/N**: Well, I went on a long hiatus for this story but life allowed me to write up a few chapters since humor is what I love so thanks to those readers who stuck with this story. Despite the lapse of time, I still haven't decided how this story will steer romantically because Byakuya and Ruka have quite a tight bond while Mayuri is embedded like a leech to his research but she loves her science. We'll be seeing more of the crazy man soon. For those who've read my other stories, I'm an author that loves character development and Ruka is no less as well as the canon characters. Either way, I want the humor in the story to stick while exploring new conflicts with the Gotei 13.

* * *

**Next Time**:

_"So those surveillance images of you eating bags of 'junk food' in bed while hearing unsavory music in the human real were protecting the Seireitei?" Byakuya questioned dryly about her particular quirks when she visited the realm and her face fell to being pinned with the facts. So she liked eating the strange addicting foods of the humans, was it so wrong?_

_Her brow furrowed as a legit question popped into her scientific mind and she crossed her arms to demand curiously, "And just how do you know this information, captain? Sereitei law indicates that investigations cannot be conducted unless concrete evidence is presented. May I ask what crime I've committed?"_

_The sixth captain cursed her thorough knowledge of the law and tried to back track his slip of the tongue by evading the question by stating coldly, "Where I received the information is none of your concern."_

_"It is if you managed to get it within my bedroom, that's trespassing" she disproved easily with an impish grin because she knew if anyone hired or dispatched people to follow her, it would be him. Maybe Komamura for protective reasons but Byakuya would always be number one. Sometimes, she wondered if he was a little paranoid by keeping tabs on her but maybe it was a pastime of his when Rukia slipped away from his brotherly surveillance. Byakuya Kuchiki was shrewdly perceptive in deciphering others, after all, so she'd have to carefully inspect her lodgings whenever she traveled from now on. She wagged a reprimanding finger in circles and grinned amusingly to remark cockily, "You're lucky I know you so well or I'd report you to my captain. I will, however, act as if I heard nothing when I open my office door to find a basket of delicious swan food and other goodies-"_

_"You're not dismissing this, are you?" he questioned flatly to her cryptic demands, or blackmail as he called it, and her lips widened in a cheshire smile._

_"Not on your life, Kuchiki" she chuckled evilly to the sudden power she held in her hands and tapped her fingers together in what she called 'the pyramid of evil contemplation'. To the sixth captain, she appeared like a clichéd villain from children's stories and cursed her strange behavior. Either way, he was now expected to do something to forget the entire matter or have it brought up continuously over his shoulder. _

_Gritting his teeth for what he was about to do, he informed calmly with great restraint, "I hear there will be a basket of items by tomorrow afternoon."_

* * *

Thanks for reading my story and I'll see you guys next time!


	13. A Diamond In The Rough

**A Diamond In The Rough**

* * *

"You must follow all of your duties in that squad and not slack off" Byakuya instructed her sharply and she kicked at the perfectly trimmed grass to pent out frustration to being lectured as they walked around his estate. The quiet dinner at the Kuchiki household had ended with no surprising accidents and the two had decided to take a brief walk around the estate while Rukia went off in search an item she wanted to show her friend. Byakuya was certain it was related to that popular Chappy rabbit or something feminine that he'd never comprehend . . . why didn't he receive a brother instead? It was best not to ponder about alternate realities and advised Ruka with a no-nonsense attitude, "You have been brought up to be respectable and a role model for others- _don't_ waste your skills. Otherwise, you will bring disappointment to those around you."

"Aw, I already got this lecture from Sajin five times already" she mumbled miserably to the never-ending lectures that seemed to be piling up since she started her new position and stuffed her hands into her sleeves. If this was going to be a constant occurrence, she might have to rethink staying in the Seireitei. Honestly, Byakuya would always be the little bothersome shoulder spirit while Rangiku served as the devilish spirit to guide her decisions; making conversations with them didn't help either. She directed a knowing stare in his direction and pointed out, "You've spent most of your life in division six just like I've been in seventh, living with them far longer than you. If you'd been told to go elsewhere, I doubt you would be telling me this."

"Life isn't fair, both of us know that for a fact and you must learn to adapt to it" he said firmly to instill that idea into her head since life wasn't a fragrant bed of flowers and she frowned with disapproval. She tried to keep optimistic about most happenings in life since shinigami duties usually kept one from enjoying a civilian lifestyle but she wouldn't complain; she was proud to serve the Gotei 13. Of course, that pride was often poked by Byakuya's strict principles as he stated aloofly, "You're a lieutenant now and you must act as such or you might give the Kyōraku name a different image. Every aristocratic family has an image they have to uphold, especially when ties to the Seireitei are involved, and we cannot falter. We must always play our part in public, sometimes even in private, whether we like it or not."

"We Kyōraku's are a friendly and non-violent bunch so that's the way I'm keeping it" she pointed out with a peppy smile about her clan, which she had no qualms with, and he gave her an incredulous look. If she decided to take after her uncle, the last thing he wanted to witness was Ruka drinking sake nonstop and chasing men with lusty 'come hither' looks. He might have to lock her in a room and recondition her mind to a blank slate to make her normal. On the other hand, she was prone to violence when pushed unlike the eight division captain and wondered whether that was a good thing as well. She scoffed dismissively to his disapproving expression (he looked like he'd unwillingly swallowed a lemon) and rolled her eyes to add in her faults hastily, "All right, but I only hit people who I cannot withstand and smother the ones I love. Except you, you're not fun anymore. I treat people with a 'let's have explosive fun' mask while you treat them with an 'icicle stuck up your ass' mask-"

"Ruka!" he warned sternly to her choice of words, disliking vulgar speech, and she glanced down to make sure he wasn't about to pull out his zanpakuto to kill her. It was usually the first thing that came to mind after decades of familiarity but it was more of a conditioned habit since he never actually tried. She took a little pride in that since many would've probably been cut down a second after speaking to him like that.

"I love you too, sir" she replied cheekily to simmer his rage but sometimes, she didn't know whether it would help or not. Oh well, she could always bring him a food basket or an old book as a present to call it even.

He wasn't going to be swayed by sentimental words and with a serious face, he pointed out clearly, "You and I are the same age, Ruka. You should be a captain like me by now-"

"I don't know if I can handle that heavy responsibility but my lack of a high rank doesn't mean I'm weak, Byakuya" she interjected earnestly and slumped her shoulders to the unfathomable idea. Yes, she'd trained alongside him throughout the years but her ambition varied greatly from his. She was more than qualified for lieutenancy, a rank that she was carefully wielding due to the responsibility of monitoring all of the division's squads rather than her own group. Her hand swept over her figure for emphasis as she piped up mischievously, "I show off that image to keep enemies off-guard, I mean, look at me! I'm a petite woman with burned shaggy hair and uses _loads_ of sarcasm- I look pretty easy to decapitate. However, I've trained over the years just as you have. I've only fought here during state of emergencies or mandatory training sessions due my time abroad."

"So those surveillance images of you eating bags of 'junk food' in bed while hearing unsavory music in the human real were protecting the Seireitei?" Byakuya questioned dryly about her particular quirks when she visited the realm and her face fell to being pinned with the facts. So she liked eating the strange addicting foods of the humans, was it so wrong?

Her brow furrowed as a legit question popped into her scientific mind and she crossed her arms to demand curiously, "And just _how_ do you know this information, captain? Sereitei law indicates that investigations cannot be conducted unless concrete evidence is presented. May I ask what crime I've committed?"

The sixth captain cursed her thorough knowledge of the law and tried to back track his slip of the tongue by evading the question by stating coldly, "Where I received the information is none of your concern."

"It is if you managed to get it within my bedroom, that's trespassing" she disproved easily with an impish grin because she knew if anyone hired or dispatched people to follow her, it would be him. Maybe Komamura for protective reasons but Byakuya would always be number one. Sometimes, she wondered if he was a little paranoid by keeping tabs on her but maybe it was a pastime of his when Rukia slipped away from his brotherly surveillance. Byakuya Kuchiki was shrewdly perceptive in deciphering others, after all, so she'd have to carefully inspect her lodgings whenever she traveled from now on. She wagged a reprimanding finger in circles and grinned amusingly to remark cockily, "You're lucky I know you so well or I'd report you to my captain. I will, however, act as if I heard nothing when I open my office door to find a basket of delicious swan food and other goodies-"

"You're not dismissing this, are you?" he questioned flatly to her cryptic demands, or plain blackmail as he called it, and her lips widened in a smug cheshire smile.

"Not on your life, Kuchiki" she chuckled evilly to the sudden power she held in her hands and tapped her fingers together in what she called 'the pyramid of evil contemplation'. To the sixth captain, she appeared like a clichéd villain from children's stories and cursed her strange behavior. Either way, he was now expected to do something to forget the entire matter or have it brought up continuously over his shoulder. Gritting his teeth for what he was about to do, he informed calmly with great restraint, "I hear there will be a basket of items in your office by tomorrow afternoon."

Ruka smiled approvingly since her dear swans were her pride and rejoiced, "I will have to thank the sender accordingly. Although, I will have to test the food myself to make sure it is up to my expectations and safe for my babies."

This broke Byakuya's stoic façade as one eyebrow rose in bewilderment to her remark and a tone in his voice that hadn't been heard in ages reached her ears when he questioned with faint surprise, "You _eat_ swan food?"

"They're plants" she answered easily with strange calm as she eyed him suspiciously for the sudden hitch in his voice, a small smile crossing over her lips when she caught the reason behind it. Realizing that he assumed she literally ate the food, she shook her head with an amused laugh to clarify further, "I'm a scientist, Byakuya, so I test chlorophyll levels and nutritional data gathered from food samples. My swans must receive the best food I can offer and my studies assure that."

Pausing for a moment, she decided to tease him a little more to make him squirm within the ice fortress of his mind and asked nonchalantly, "Wait, you thought I ate plants like a grazing animal? How little must you think of me?"

"Now you're just teasing me" he stated distastefully with a low voice and she nodded amusingly to end the charade.

"Somebody has to bring a little excitement in your life, I can't imagine leading a clan brings you never-ending fun of epic proportions" she stated sardonically since his clan required perfectionism and that told her there was absolutely no fun in that. True, her professional side demanded such but off-duty, she was as free as a bird to roam the Seireitei. Unfortunately, her friend was not one to partake in her taste of humor but that wouldn't deter her in the slightest and teased playfully, "Unless you find fun on the battlefield, then you might have a little bit of Captain Zaraki in you."

His upper lip curled in distaste for such an unsavory comparison and he stated curtly, "Not your best joke, Ruka."

"It was worth a try, I'm still zoning in on your current taste of humor" she replied simply with a witty smile as she tried to find a dent in his impenetrable armor that contained a funny bone within. It was there ages ago but transformed over the years into a pillar of ice.

"So, have been practicing to achieve bankai?" he asked nonchalantly, not expecting an answer from his friend since she was rather private about her abilities. Even as one of her closest friends, he wasn't privy to such information and wondered what else she could be hiding in that mind of hers. Of course, she'd never bring harm to the Seiretei they were sworn to protect but that left her in that range of acceptable collateral.

"I'm not telling you, you have a tendency to blab" she answered defensively to his casual question, knowing he was analyzing her reply shrewdly, and smirked, "You tell uncle Shunsui everything I do. . .it's not very manly of you."

_(112 years ago)_

"_And experiments #122 and #46 are ready for the final trials" Ruka told her superior cheerfully as she finished her day's work, sighing with relief for her accomplishments since none of the batches had been failures. She handed him both folders as her superior worked on his own project alongside her and awaited any last orders. As quick as he was shifting through moods, he was the same with orders._

"_Good work, Kyōraku" Kurotsuchi nodded approvingly as he read over the reports with a quick eye to make sure everything was in place. His subordinate wrote down every note possible, from minute changes to possible explanations on each so he was assured her skillful hand wouldn't ruin their projects. If it wasn't, he'd smack her over the head with them until he deemed her punishment worthy and allowed her to gaze at her mistake to rectify it. His brow rose as he gazed at her smiling face (how eerie) and questioned simply, "Are you leaving now?"_

_Ruka nodded once since she had plans for later and answered politely, "Yes, sir, I promised-"_

"_Oi, are you ready to go or will I wait till its tomorrow?" Byakuya's impatient voice popped in through the doorway of the building and Ruka turned around to shush the thirteenth division member. Somehow, he'd managed to nab everyone's attention with his voice alone and she fought the dismayed expression trying to surface onto her face._

"_I promised to go eat with Ponytail over there" Ruka flatly told her vice-president in regards to their current visitor and smirked when her friend scowled to the nickname. He was adamant to be called by his last name alone but until he managed to control his impatience and short fuse, she refused to do so._

"_Apparently, they let just about anyone enter here without supervision" Kurotsuchi mumbled dryly under his breath since he didn't appreciate little snot nosed nobles wandering into his building and Byakuya let out a surprised yell. The scientist pointed to him with a placid stare because only test subjects were allowed shouting and asked her distastefully, "Is he broken?"_

_Ruka glared at her friend for embarrassing her with his reaction to Kurotsuchi and he shot back defensively with a scowl, "I thought he was a test dummy, he wasn't talking when I got here. C'mon, he's wearing __**paint**__! Ruka, you can find better friends."_

_She grit her teeth to the point of breakage because she wasn't about to be kicked out of the research division for having a friend without a brain for science. Byakuya didn't seem to care he'd intruded the sanctuary of knowledge in the Seireitei and Ruka pointed out firmly, "He's my lieutenant and I'd appreciate if you didn't embarrass me in front of him with a lack for respect."_

"_Why? You're off-duty and time is wasting" he explained matter-of-factly about their plans for the day since being off-duty meant they could wreak havoc on an isolated field for practice and nobody would care. Well, he would while Ruka read to increase her intellect. Nonetheless, he was more than ready to get going and tapped his foot impatiently like an angry nanny._

_Ruka's face brightened to an immediate idea and she asked Kurotsuchi amicably, "Would you like to join us? I usually get bored once he starts training on his own."_

_The scientist merely issued a small glare at the young Kuchiki since he wasn't fond of the elite and replied simply, "Invitation declined, I have other projects to work on-"_

"_That's good enough for me!" Byakuya called out immediately and hastily yanked on Ruka's wrist to get her moving but the girl wasn't budging. His shoulders squared with disillusion that she'd try to get the strange man to join them and that was one thing the Kuchiki heir didn't want. He'd come here for her, not to drag away an entourage._

"_I'd be more than happy to come back and help you" she offered helpfully because she truly wanted to see the fruits of her labor and although Kurotsuchi remained impassive on positive results, she beamed with pride. Byakuya realized he'd stepped into 'science time' and knew that Ruka would be hard to budge away from her work. It was times like these that he kicked himself for encouraging her to flourish her taste for knowledge and wished he'd told her to stick to history rather than science._

"_Hey, whatever freaky thing you two have going, it isn't happening here with me" he stated grimly because time was being wasted, his time, but Ruka's hand smacked his head to quell his boiling impatience. Quickly, he held his throbbing head between his hands for her unforeseen strike and exclaimed indignantly, "Ow! Ruka!"_

"_You are impossible sometimes, Byakuya Kuchiki!" she chastised with offense to his insinuation and felt nothing short of embarrassed before her superior, fighting back the rosy hue threatening to blossom on her cheeks. She bowed to him to show respect after that shameful comment because a subordinate would never undermine their superior in such a way. Her friend, meanwhile, grumbled under his breath as he felt like the outsider in the quiet lab and she added in quickly, "I apologize for my friend's brash words."_

"_Keep your personal life out of the workplace, Kyōraku" Kurotsuchi told her bluntly because he had no time to witness quarrels between friends or whatever those two were and was only concerned with his work. Ruka quickly nodded with shame tinting her cheeks because she always remained objective in the military life she'd chosen, keeping all emotional ties outside the workplace. Nonetheless, the girl was valuable to their research as she tended to their experiments with the care of a mother bear and he informed simply with a dismissive wave of the hand, "I will be here for three more hours if you wish to return."_

"_Great!" she smiled happily to the prospect of returning later on to continue overtime work and dragged her friend away from the building. Byakuya could only sigh in disbelief because a minute ago, he was doing the exact same thing to the dead weight that was Ruka._

"_You have the weirdest friends!" Byakuya scoffed distastefully since she could do much better, given her ranking, and smacked her head in retaliation to her previous strike. Ruka didn't react at all, merely stepping over his left foot for her own subtle revenge and heard him yelp painfully, "I'm telling your uncle you hit the next 28__th__ head of the Kuch-"_

"_Enough, I get it- you want to be a clan leader!" Ruka broke in with an exasperated sigh to his claim for the 'clan throne'- she'd been hearing it a lot lately- and pulled his long ponytail before flash stepping away.  
(End)_

"Wow, we _really_ switched personalities drastically" Ruka laughed out loud with amusement twinkling in her blue eyes as she grinned at him. Time had the uncanny tendency to twist personalities, whether for good or ill, and despite her little jabs at the man before her- she approved of how he'd turned out. He wasn't going to be all smile and giggles as he carried various responsibilities, not to mention that his past wasn't all flowers and sunshine.

"It was a long time ago" he commented simply about his behavior in the past, not wishing to dwell on those unfavorable traits but she felt his reiatsu rise slightly. She chuckled at knowing she'd riled him up with that remark alone and smiled mischievously.

A second later, she found herself taking an unscheduled trip onto the ground.

She spit out grass from between her lips, the sour taste not delighting her tongue in the slightest and glared at her friend to exclaim indignantly, "Byakuya! A joke doesn't mean you can inflict bodily harm."

Standing upright once more, she dusted herself off with a frown because she wasn't keen on having to wash off any grass stains and pinned him with a small glare to state, "You're a lot more cunning than people give you credit for. I hope your hair gets burned by the sun under those metal barrettes of yours."

"You need to act your age, Ruka" he lectured firmly because he was insistent that she remove those child-like traits but she frowned to that idea, wanting to banish the suggestion. There was no way she could imagine herself acting like him on a twenty-four hour basis and almost shivered at the idea of having no facial expressions. It's what gave a Kyōraku their friendly demeanors. His forefingers on the right hand twitched slightly in reflex to the decorations on his short locks and his lips thinned into a straight line as he refuted her insult, "And they're not _barrettes_."

_They are if they're clipped in or held by a pin of sort_, she thought amusingly about how those things stayed in his hair without falling out because there was no other possible explanation.

"I have my military manners but my public image isn't going to change" she shrugged noncommittally as she smoothed the front of her kimono because if he'd ruined any inch of it, she'd track him down and force him to have him clean it. Imitating his perfectly straight posture, she tucked her hands behind her back and admitted freely, "I'm satisfied with what I have, I don't crave more. As long as I can help the Seireitei, I'm happy. My life is fully dedicated to the thirteen court guard squads, I would abandon my family duties in a second if the captain-commander asked for it. Why do you think I travel so much?"

"To avoid your problems and occupy your mind elsewhere?" he pointed out easily without hesitation about her tendencies to dodge personal conflict by never engaging it and she cursed the classes they'd taken years ago on criminal psychology. Her fingers fidgeted from within their sleeves as she crossed her arms defensively to nudge that remark aside since it wasn't a critique. She knew that he wanted her to aid the divisions directly rather than forging alliances by quelling the problems of other Seireitei's but it was necessary when war arose in theirs. How else would they attain direct aid when their soldiers fell in battle?

She avoided answering the question directly and retorted with a witty smile at the left side of her lips, "Besides, uncle Shunsui doesn't act his age and he chases women every day despite being a captain. You wouldn't want to see me chasing after men with a lusty gleam in my eye, do you? I am his niece, you know, so the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. . .or so, the human quote goes."

"Those are your private matters and I will cut down anyone that isn't of noble stock" he stated crisply to the shameful concept of seeing her prance around in such a manner and she gulped quietly to the 'you better court in your caste stature and up only' tone in his voice. Good thing he knew nothing about Rukia and Ichigo then.

"You're a grouch and it's because I killed that annoying Hollow that you met Hisana" she reminded playfully to that fateful winter morning where she'd killed a screeching hollow that had grated her nerves as it had been attacking people in that underprivileged district. Shinigami born into high standing clans were usually given the least troubling sectors but Ruka managed to snag problematic districts since Komamura had come from a similar district himself, always telling her to keep an eye out for future Academy students. His eyes narrowed on the subject, the frown on his lips telling her to immediately cease any trips through memory lane and she pointed out gently, "Byakuya, remembering those we've lost shouldn't be painful. Forgetting and denying everything that happened to you is practically spitting at her memory and nobody deserves that, especially her. I like reliving happy moments and I loved spending time with her, she was the only person I could stand on this estate without being tempted to gas them into unconsciousness. The ones you love should always be remembered and never forgotten to honor them."

With a fond smile, she tilted her head to the left as she gazed at a nearby sakura tree that had yet to blossom and reminisced, "We knew nothing about noble dinner parties and picking a wardrobe was disastrous when Rangiku wasn't with me. I burned my hair trying to straighten it while Hisana showed me the simplest way by just steaming it with something hot. Her hair was always so shiny and perfectly combed. Seriously, I spent money trying to find good gadgets and now I have stick straight hair that I hate- talk about a horrible irony. She was soft and genuine, pure and honest, nothing like those little pests from the top clans. I wish I could throttle one right now in her honor."

His left eyebrow rose to her eager request because he certainly wouldn't condone killing in his deceased wife's honor, especially when Ruka's hands were currently choking an invisible enemy. Hisana avoided the condescending nobles of his family whenever she could but Ruka's patience wasn't long when it concerned arrogant people and she'd certainly bitten into a few for their own snarky comments. She turned her gaze towards him, his features almost hidden by the shadows as they passed underneath the tree and continued genuinely, "Please, don't ever marry such banshees like those. She let me rant on and on about them without saying a word and that takes heavy endurance with my yapping mouth."

Byakuya listened quietly to his friend's fond remembrance of his wife and added in, "True, you have that earsplitting tendency."

"Yes, but it wasn't as bad as hearing you rant about courting procedure" she shot back smugly with a mischievous grin to his crazy plans of the past and shook her head. The things she'd done would never leave her memory, remembering how she'd tended to her bruises at home whenever one of his plans went horribly awry for her. Crossing her arms, she lifted her chin to state coolly with that Cheshire grin that threatened to shatter his ice cold fortress, "And people think _I'm_ crazy."

_(63 years ago)_

_A ruffled hair Ruka burst into the sixth lieutenant's office, literally exploding into the room with the force of a missile and fell on all fours as she threw reservations aside with Byakuya. She'd been flash stepping like a maniac all the way from Inuzuri, the seventy-eight Rukongai district, for the past six hours and was almost drained of energy for this favor she was doing out of the goodness in her heart. From her left hand, an open envelope scattered onto the floor and the lieutenant's face fell to seeing it return in her hand as it was obvious the recipient didn't accept it. He leaned down to pick up the fallen envelope, rather than his exhausted and frizzy-haired friend, and asked slowly for an explanation, "She didn't accept it then?"_

"_Thanks a million for asking about my welfare, I was chased by a pack of rabid dogs through three Rukongai districts this time" she grumbled tiredly with a miserable groan to her luck as she sat up to check her hakama for any tears since sewing her uniform was not on the list for today. If anything, she'd tell her friend to patch them up himself for sending her on the crazy errand. He merely watched her coolly from his standing spot near the rear window as he held the envelope in his hand, tucking it into his sleeve for safekeeping, and she breathed heavily to explain the situation with sarcasm dripping from her words, "The poor thing didn't understand a lick of that letter, neither could I! What's the meaning of dried orchid petals? We're not florists or botanical historians, Byakuya!"_

"_Beauty, admiration, have you no sense of romance?" he pointed out matter-of-factly to the crystal clear message that nobody but himself understood, his footsteps making no noise as he quickly closed the door of his office before she yelled out anything else. He didn't want his private business to be overheard by anyone which was why he sent her in his stead in the first place. She shook her head to his lack of sense and cleared her throat with an emphasized 'ahem' to remind him that she'd been one of the previously wooed women in his life. He waved her aside with a simple flick of his left wrist as he avoided taking blame for the failure of the mission and stated airily, "Obviously, your memory is faulty and I wouldn't be here at this moment if it had worked." _

_She laughed softly to his flustered expression but would help him anyway, what else could be worse than rabid dogs? Sometimes, she wondered about the limits of what she'd do for the Kuchiki heir because he was awful at interpersonal skills with the general public. Byakuya frowned to his failure as it was unacceptable because it yielded no results and crossed his arms over his chest to ponder aloud with haste in his voice to correct the plan, "All right, I need two goats, a roll of silk fabric-"_

"_Whoa, whoa, I'm almost afraid to ask about the goats" Ruka interrupted quickly in protest to his strange request because it made absolutely no sense whatsoever and wasn't about to wrangle in a goat. She was a shinigami, taught to wield a blade and strength to crush stone- not tying up an animal. Besides, once they started making their little 'ba-a-ah' noises, she'd melt like butter and pet them. Despite her lower legs were calling for rest, she stood upright quickly to end this tweak to his plan and used a direct tone to get through to the heart of the issue, "What are you trying to achieve here? I'd rather save you the embarrassment and myself from losing an appendage."_

_The young lieutenant thinned his lips as he turned around to gaze out of his window, his palms landing on top of the windowsill as he leaned forward and admitted quietly, "I'm fond of Hisana."_

_Was that all?_

_Ruka grinned widely to the confession since she'd spotted him talking to the girl whenever they patrolled the area but restrained herself from bouncing all over the room with joy. She'd never had expected the prized golden boy of the Kuchiki clan to fancy a soft-spoken common woman that held beauty on her dusty face that radiated enough to put all others to shame. This could've proceeded much faster if he'd been honest with himself and trusted her, placing her hands on her hips to sigh humorously with a friendly smile, "You could've just said that, it would've helped tremendously in the long run. I'll go meet her now since I'm perfectly free to roam today and chat her up because the company there is not that great. We'll meet you in a restaurant there after your shift, I'll bring her in and you two can have a quiet time-"_

"_People like me don't wander into such run-down establishments" he stated frankly with a wrinkled nose to the idea of sitting in those dusty chairs and crossed his arms since a person with his social stature would be noticed. He'd much rather bring Hisana to a better area of Rukongai but her shy nature would keep her tied to that filthy district._

"_Well, if you want to see somebody like Hisana, suck down your damn pride and realize we're all the same people" Ruka stated sharply to knock sense into him and cast aside preconceptions about the lesser districts since actions spoke louder than what social ranking you were born with. It tired her to see arrogant elites slacking off or ridiculing shinigami that came from less fortunate districts. Her father had always taught her to protect everyone, from the highest to lowest ranking individual, remembering the long walks she took with him when he wasn't on shift to explore what the other districts really looked like. She still visited the small establishment in the west 76__th__ district where she'd eaten many soup lunches with her father as he paid for food for the children who couldn't afford many. Early exposure to their conditions opened her view of the world and Ruka carried it with her through life._

_Byakuya, however, merely raised his nose in defiance because his teachings stated otherwise and she grasped his right forearm to whisper softly, "Be grateful that you were born into a family that kept you fed throughout your life and hardships weren't often, I know I am. Not everyone is as lucky as you and they try to survive each day however they can, just like Hisana does. You cannot judge a person by the society they live in, you must look at what makes them who they are- our world should not be in black and white all the time."_

_The lieutenant remained silent for a few moments because the citizens of all Rukongai shaped the Soul Society just as much as those living within the Seireitei, finally agreeing, "All right, I will do this your way but if I am steered wrong-"_

"_Yeah, yeah, you'll sic Senbonzakura on me" she scoffed offhandedly to his untold threat since she handled the romance life better than her friend, turning around to exit his office with relief that everything was out in the open. She'd never say it aloud but he'd be eaten alive in the world of courting with his misunderstood complex gifts and wished Hisana the best because Ruka still had a small wooden puzzle box at home that had never been opened. Yeah, his gifts were that mind compellingly difficult to grasp without the use of a historical library.  
(End)_

"Hmm, I don't think you've ever unleashed the 'pink death' upon me with killing intent" she grinned wittily with triumphant conclusion in regards to their friendship, halting for a moment to dance in place with victory. Byakuya immediately believed she'd lost her mind because hip swaying and waving your arms in the air were not acceptable forms of dancing for a lady of her standing. He'd specifically told her to never adapt any form of human dancing into their cultural dancing routines or randomly break into dance in any setting. The giddy dancing reminded Ruka of an old song she'd heard on the square machine in the human world that spit out music. It had taken her a while to realize that she wasn't picking up random signals or songs from other Seireitei's but simply music, introducing her to the varied genres and languages of the mortals. He closed his eyes for a brief second when she sang gleefully, "_I will survive. Oh, as long as I know how to fight, I'll know I'll stay alive. I've got all my life to live_- d'oh, I forgot the rest to parody."

"And you come to this conclusion. . ._now_?" he replied coolly because he could never kill her legally and escape that crime, not that a few captains hadn't done that in the past but he stuck to the laws of the Seireitei. His simple question stopped her silly dancing and her hands clenched into fists as he stopped her little parade, bringing him a little delight that he kept hidden from her.

"Why can't you just agree with me?" she sighed desperately for that agreement that would end their benign discussions and tried to stomp over his foot but he dodged her petty strike with ease. There was no way she'd ever defeat a captain's agility but it didn't stop her from trying it with her friend, knowing that the worst he could do was keep her in the brig for an hour. She held her forefingers in front of her right eye, leaving only a tiny open area between her thumb and index finger as she requested breathlessly, "Just a tiny, microscopic bit?"

"Simple, I am logical and you are insane" he stated indifferently as he resumed their walk down the carved path, Ruka tagging along as she mimicked him sarcastically from behind. The sixth captain never let her walk behind him whenever they were off-duty because she held the tendency to spring a prank on him, turning around quickly as she shut her mouth to prevent being caught. She directed an innocent smile that did nothing to soften the apathetic expression on his face and he concluded with a low but calculating voice, "Therefore, your opinions will _never _match mine."

"I was right about the position of your old scarf, you wanted that weird priest drape thing and you became super popular with your flashy 'wind flying' scarf" she pointed out about the fashion tip she'd given him decades ago when he'd received the family heirloom. He wore it occasionally, either professionally or for clan matters, but Ruka didn't hesitate to prod him with the hilarious styles he'd tried to use. He didn't give a reply to her remark because he could afford to pay for the best in fashion detailing and merely kept his leisurely pace but Ruka chuckled amusingly to his denial, "You're not bothering to answer me, eh?"

"I'm a captain, I have no need to answer to subordinates" he evaded aloofly and she shook her head to the use of military ranking to keep from answering her. Well, he hadn't reached captaincy by yapping people's ears off and she batted his right arm with a gentle hand as she chuckled.

"We're off-duty and my direct orders come from captain Hisagi" she stated matter-of-factly because yes, shinigami obeyed all of their superiors but their division captain came first. She held soft spots for her uncle, Byakuya, Unohana, and Ukitake as she'd grown up to make them proud and never hesitated to help. Her loyalty to Komamura was unyielding and since Hisagi was her captain now, she would follow his orders above all others (Yamamoto, excluded, of course). She prodded the center of his back to draw a reaction since he was using rank to hide like a wise turtle but he slapped her hand when she didn't relent, leading her to grin mischievously, "I ought to chase you through this field. . .but I forgot to bring my swan minions. I can do this all night, Kuchiki."

Before she could defend herself, Byakuya had her in a headlock and his fingers pressed against a pressure point in her neck. Crap, she forgot about his easiest method for knocking her out cold in the middle of nowhere. The last time he'd done that, she'd ended waking up by the shore of one of the public lakes with ducks pecking at her soaked legs. She struggled in his grip because she didn't want to be knocked unconscious at this hour of the night and snapped sharply, "I said fun stuff, not the deadly arts! I'm not afraid to kick you in the crotch and leave you infertile to piss off your elders. Plus, killing a defenseless lieutenant is against the law unless you hold concrete evidence of plots against the Seireitei and its people."

"Why do I put up with you again, lieutenant?" he asked out of the blue with a small sigh and released the wriggling Ruka from his grasp, watching her regain balance as she stumbled on her first steps. She wasn't a worthy execution anyway. . .and she was right.

"Because you love me deep down in the darkest caverns of your heart and I've saved your ass just as much as you have mine. . .sir" she answered easily with a proud grin as she smoothed the sleeves of her kimono to keep herself presentable through her little scuffles. He nodded lightly with satisfaction to her words, returning to the stroll in the grass but Ruka stayed in her spot as a question poked her endless curious mind. Hesitance and uncertainty laced into her voice as she called out, "Hey, Byakuya?"

"The 'hey' demeans your upbringing" he chastised with a tsk for the uncivilized language but she dismissed it, quickly closing the gap of distance between them.

She stuffed her hands into the sleeves of her kimono to contain the little ball of nerves that arose in her stomach and admitted sheepishly, "Thanks for recommending my name for this position, my uncle let it slip a few days ago during dinner. I. . .It's nice to be at home permanently."

"This is where you belong, you will spill the blood of _our_ Seireitei when you protect our people rather gallivanting abroad" he reminded her of their origins since she was always off fighting another Seireitei's battles rather than their own because there were plenty throughout the decades. Ruka frowned immediately because everything she'd done abroad was for the benefit of their Seireitei and the entire Soul Society itself. Byakuya was different in that aspect of protecting their home, he was more conservative in keeping help among their own rather than relying on others. To Ruka, it didn't matter because they were protecting the Soul Society as a whole as all Seireitei's worked together to keep the intricate balance of their realm with the humans in sync. Her friend never traveled to the human world unless it was deemed necessary and even less to other Seireitei's, usually requiring her prodding touch to move him in the latter direction. The captain and her uncle had once traveled with her to the Brazilian Seireitei that oversaw the entire human continent of the south and while her uncle had been a humongous hit, Byakuya came off as standoffish to the friendly officers. Not even the colorfully pretty paper parasol inside drinks cheered him up.

"Ensuring alliances was for the benefit of the Gotei 13, they give us the advantage over enemies we might not be able to handle" she explained matter-of-factly as she'd sought audiences with all other Seireitei's to forge alliances that would help win the war during Aizen's rebellion when he posed the greatest enemy to their realm. Without scientific help, Kurotsuchi's plan wouldn't have been ready in time and Aizen's forces would've decimated the human town of Karakura upon arrival. The war against the Quincy remnants also required foreign aid as the imbalance they posed brought their Seireitei to extreme measures. They had breached the Seireitei with intent to kill everyone and she relayed Yamamoto's orders to their allies, adding in that they show no mercy. It didn't matter to Ruka whether enemies were ex-shinigami, humans, or Quincy; they would all die as their last gaze would be the faces of the protectors of the Seireitei and the fortified stone white walls of their city.

Her palm pressed against the hilt of her blade as she carried it with her at all times, keeping her gaze locked with his as she stated wisely, "We're soldiers and that requires sacrifices from all of us, there isn't a thing I wouldn't do for my home. If anyone dares to breach our walls with killing intent, I will crush them into a million pieces for all to see. You know we've faced countless battles where we've held a disadvantage and outside help- Kurosaki, his human friends, the Vizards, foreign shinigami- has given us that extra edge needed to win. When fire is raining down upon your shoulders with the ashes of the dead, it's not about pride, captain . . . it is basic survival and failure is not an option."

_(6 years ago)_

"_The White Way Gate has been breached! Fifth, sixth, and seventh squads report!"_

_Sajin Komamura turned to his seated officers as the western gate laid closest to the captain-less fifth division, the sixth, and the seventh. The Northern gate was assigned to the second, third, and fourth divisions while the East laid with eight, ninth, and tenth. The Southern Red Hollow Gate fell to the eleventh, twelfth, and thirteenth for protection. The command over the fifth division fell to the other two captains as Hinamori would relay the orders, the seated officers of all three divisions gathered before their respective captains. Ruka could already see the hairline cracks in the sekkiseki wall that protected the Seireitei, her gaze flickering back to Komamura because he didn't hesitate to issue orders, "Iba, you're with me. Kyōraku, three offense squads to the left. . ."_

_Captain Kuchiki's voice commanded his officers to their positions and both captains used the fifth division as backup in case both of theirs failed to contain the enemy breach. Once orders were issued, there was no hesitance in assembling and the top shinigami of the divisions were ordered to protect the gate. Of course, the fact that half of the gate had shattered under the enemy's strength strengthened their resolve to protect their base of operations._

"_Lieutenant, commandeer two squads on the right" Byakuya Kuchiki ordered simply as he tweaked his organized his plan of attack to the shifting situation, knowing that they were the first line of defense until support from ninth arrived. Taro quickly moved his squad from their original post and set position at the largest gap in the wall as their enemies began to trickle inside by the numbers._

_The two captains disappeared within the debris field to attack their enemies as they were the best line of defense with their power alone but that left the rest of the shinigami to defend the area. Although the captains would tackle on the strongest enemies, the weaker followers or 'drones' as Ruka called them would spill inside to complete their objective. She would obliterate them into dust before they stepped any further inside._

_Ruka kept her team spread throughout the area to cover any spaces that might allow anyone to breach the line and ordered her teammates, "At my side, do not let anyone through that gate! Shatter them, show them the courage of our division and eradicate them for daring to enter our sanctuary!"_

_She charged forward with a brave yell to encourage the people serving alongside her to maintain their bravery and slammed into the nearest enemy, slashing their throat open with the sharp double-edged blade of her zanpakuto as her agility exceeded theirs. Their crimson blood bathed the front of her uniform from the inflicted damage and she ripped the gaping wound open with her bare fingers to rip apart their reishi and used her zanpakuto as a parrying weapon, shouting fiercely, "We are the seventh division and you will __**not**__ take our home!"  
(End)_

"I am proud of my work, Byakuya, and wear my scars without shame" she pointed out clearly because every battle fought carried their weight as she lived on and other shinigami didn't. She fought to give her people a future free of pain by running headfirst into the fires of battle, never hesitating to protect innocents and defend those under her command. Her parents and his died in the front lines during the war to protect the Royal Palace, instilling the best parts of themselves in the future generation and Ruka wouldn't tarnish their memory, confessing with a firm voice, "I fight so civilians in the Soul Society and humans in their realm don't endure the horrors we witness on a battlefield. In my years of service, I have watched captains and squad leaders sacrifice their lives for their men, children witness the destruction of their districts, seen our realm almost tear into the veil of nonexistence, and countless scenes that will never be erased. I fight for brave fathers, protective mothers, innocent children, unborn souls, and my brothers and sisters in the Gotei 13. They are who I protect and whoever our enemies are throughout time, they will be annihilated without hesitation."

"That is precisely why I recommended you" the captain stated faintly with approval and she smiled gratefully for the prestigious honor- even if she wouldn't be serving alongside the beloved squad she'd grown up in. He didn't need to deliberate further, his message was crystal clear and thanked him for believing in her. Byakuya saw the potential in her, not that he was quiet about it as he was with his sister (the constant berated never ceased) and commented frankly, "For all of your outrageous behavior and keen mind, you hold the core values of what all high-ranking shinigami should have. I have seen you inspire the seventh squad when Lieutenant Iba has been medically unable to perform his duties, this position will test you through the years to determine whether you have what it takes to one day hold a captaincy position or not."

The ninth lieutenant translated 'one day' to equal two hundred years or more into the future. . .or maybe a millennium, she could be sluggish.

Ruka smirked to his subtle scheming as he decided to pull her out from underneath her comfy figurative rock and preened, "Oh, captain, you always have a plan within a plan achieve a goal in that mind of yours."

Rukia appeared before them and presented a large pink banner featuring Chappy in the center, its name capitalized above, and red hearts outlining the edges as a border. She pushed it towards the brunette for a second opinion before they began planning for their new club and asked with an ecstatic grin, "What do you think? Isn't it adorable? This can be the clubhouse banner!"

Ruka squealed along with her over the cute caricature and the two cooed over the sewn banner as Byakuya grew bored of the womanly prattle within seconds. He began to walk off to escape the happy giggles and it was times like this that he yearned to have a brother because then, Rukia wouldn't spend so much time with the ninth lieutenant. The brunette glanced at the captain's retreating back as Rukia cuddled the banner into her arms and called out to him enticingly, "The Seaweed Ambassador can be a sidekick to Chappy. What do you say?"

Byakuya kept walking without pause but his left eyebrow shot up in interest to the idea because everybody else made a mockery of it. Captain Ukitake wanted to make dolls out of it to hand out to the sick ward to encourage recovery while Kurotshuchi had placed statues throughout his division to scare off Yachiru. Even Captain Hitsugaya had advised him to stop drawing the character after his lieutenant kept handing him a coloring book about it. Rukia caught his unannounced departure because she wanted her brother to partake in her hobbies- at least _one_ of them- and asked hesitantly, "Brother, where are you going?"

"Back to the sixth division" he replied simply since dinner was finished and Ruka would keep his sister company while he was away, trusting the brunette not to do anything dangerous. The two would return to their respective squads later after they finished their 'club' business and his regal voice carried over the area, "I expect to hear good things from your meeting with Captain Abarai tomorrow, Kyōraku."

Hearing her last name initiated their work relationship and she stood straight with a respectful posture, nodding confidently to reply evenly, "No less, sir."

* * *

Shinigami Extras:

Rukia entered Ruka's private quarters as she dropped her off on her way back to the 13th division to call it a day, her petite hands full with a paper bag containing Chappy charms. Their plans for the club were on schedule but she asked uncertainly with a sheepish smile, "You think Chappy cookies are too much?"

The brunette turned around as she dropped her doggie bag (courtesy of a grumpy Byakuya) onto the nearest table because the clan leader had enough food to spare and she wasn't one to cook everyday with her many duties to the Seireitei. That handy doggie bag would serve for breakfast and lunch tomorrow with enough to share with her captain if he forgot to bring anything. Sometimes, she believed she'd turn into Rangiku since they both reported to younger captains that refused to eat until their duties were done. Ruka waved a hand to wash away any of her second thoughts because she wanted Rukia to roam free with her plans and scoffed dismissively, "Please, it's _never _enough when it comes to dear ol' Chappy! I should know, _I_ made a bomb with its image."

She looked around her quarters for a piece of paper she'd left out somewhere in there and mumbled under her breath, "I know my little list of Chappy merchandise ideas is here somewhere. Time to dig through this, Rukia!"

The petite woman slouched to the idea of perusing through the stacks of paper on top of desks and the drawers that contained who knew what. Despite the extra space her new quarters provided, Ruka had quickly filled in every crevice with her things. Placing her bag on the floor, along with the 'doggie bag' Ruka ordered her brother to give them both, Rukia groaned miserably, "Oh! But we just ate."

"Yeah, well, running isn't good for digestion either but we did it anyway so c'mon!" she urged with a peppy smile to get things started and jabbed her friend in the ribs so they could find the paper. Rukia chose the easiest job by perusing through the open drawers but fidgeted with the locked ones, using a melting agent that Ruka threw her way to eat its way through the closed lock. She was extremely careful with that because if it left metal as an oozing hole of liquid, she could only wonder what it did to flesh itself.

Fifteen minutes later, papers were strewn all over the main foyer as both women sat on the ground with no list in their hands. Ruka shoved and grabbed papers from any boxes that she could find as the stacks in sight had all been scanned, growling under her breath with conviction, "I know it's here somewhere! I'm a packrat, I never throw anything away."

Her eyes caught glimpse of a list on a pile of papers she'd thrown next to her left leg and she grabbed it into her hands eagerly, ready for a victory dance when her face fell and she muttered flatly, "Damn, just my grocery list from last week. . .hmm, maybe I should throw those out. I lost count after three years ago but there's always something my tongue gets a hankering for."

Rukia burst out laughing as she grabbed an old yellowed paper and Ruka turned to her with hope shining in her blue orbs, piping up optimistically, "Please tell me you found it?"

"No-o-o-o" she drawled out amusingly and her purplish-blue eyes practically glittered at the paper before her as it revealed hints of the brunette's past. Ruka's eyebrow raised curiously to what kind of paper she found and the young Kuchiki began to read it aloud in a dramatically amorous voice, "_My dearest Ruka_- hey, Kurotsuchi's pretty lovey dovey- _I apologize for cutting dinner short last night but my grandfather needed me_- oh, he's a family guy. . .that's a little strange- _to attend to several Kuchiki matters_- whoa, whoa, wait!"

Rukia's eyes widened to their full size to the letter in her hands as the elegant handwriting was definitely one she'd seen before and she scanned the bottom to read the closing with flabbergasted words, "_Always yours, Byakuya Kuchiki_?. . .Ruka! What the- **seriously**?"

Ruka only smiled sheepishly to the discovered letter and almost burst into laughter when Rukia exclaimed with shock written over her usually calm face, "You're dating _my _brother, the most rule abiding and impassive man in the Seireitei. . .and you didn't tell _me_?"

She scooted over to pat Rukia's back like a mother would to a child who'd received a bad haircut and put her heart at ease by explaining everything, "That letter's over eighty years old. I told you I'm a packrat and I never threw them out. . .actually, I never throw _anything _out. I'm sure it's bound to become a hazard- both medically and physically- one day but maybe I'll discover a remedy for that."

Rukia blinked with confusion to her detoured rambles but the brunette quickly corrected herself, "Yes, I courted your brother but it ended and he married your sister many years later in a beautiful ceremony where I threw sakura petals at them that somehow lodged in his throat and almost caused poor Hisana to fish it out of him. They lived happily and there's nothing else to it but he's always my bestest buddy in the world. . .even if he won't admit it."

"I thought I was" she pouted humorously since Ichigo had become her dearest friend throughout the years (and more, apparently) and smiled at her mischievously to suggest, "So why not rekindle the romance? No offense but my brother isn't the happiest guy in the Seireitei and I'd rather you run off with him than Kurotsuchi. I think _everyone_ would vote for that."

"Why does nobody root for the maniacal scientist?" she chuckled with amusement to the sixth captain's popularity and the eleventh's widespread fear, shaking her head to answer truthfully, "No, the past is better left buried so gimme the letter."

Rukia held it closer because she found this new discovery fun and disagreed with an impish smile, "No, I want to read it. Hmm. _I have the greatest news to tell you, we can take that vacation together, don't ask how I managed it but I did. I expect a romantic dinner- merely a joke, my dear._ What the- he called you 'dear'? And he joked? Oh my- _We will be visiting Switzerland and I've asked your uncle about renting the home he has there since you love old architecture. Nobody will bother us there and all we will have is each other to_- okay, I'm stopping now!"

"I warned you about reading other people's mail, it will rape your mind" Ruka scolded playfully with a jovial laugh and snatched her old love letter back to fold it neatly into a square, tucking it inside her sleeve. She really had to start dumping stuff. Her left foot slipped on a paper as she tried to get up, falling down on her butt as Rukia laughed to the humorous sight. Ruka laughed alongside her as she rubbed her poor tailbone, reaching down to grab the paper for a closer inspection and rejoiced, "Hurrah! I found it!"

* * *

**A/N: **And we catch glimpses of the craziness the two have brought into their lives over the years. We'll have Ruka heading over the third division in the next chapter and her first trip to the SRDI to see Kurotsuchi.

I'd really love a few reviews on the story as it helps me decide whether to continue or not but still, thanks to the last chapter reviews:

_atomicvegemite_: She's a crafty little swan, weaving herself to create or accidentally cause mayhem. I'm hearing more ByakuyaxRuka favoring so I might just make it that, given how the two are quite interwoven in each other's pasts. Mayuri has that scientific quality while Byakuya has that 'achieve your potential' air about it. I'm glad you love the story's humor since it's the major genre with romance and family lagging behind it.

_ReflectiveMoon_: Thank you for liking the story!

* * *

**Next Time**:

Ruka withdrew a small paper wrapped package from her sleeve pockets to bestow onto the captain and from outside, Izuru jolted upright with surprise when he heard Renji exclaim in triumph, "The Anzi 70R goggles!"

Izuru was accustomed to outbursts from his friend but when he heard a painful squeak, he burst into the room to remind his captain with a firm voice, "Captain, what did I say about catching loose rabbits for the thirteenth division? They ate Captain Ukitake's bonsai trees last time when you brought five."

Instead of a furry cuddly rabbit, he found the petite lieutenant of ninth with a suffocating arm around the neck as Renji boisterously thanked the woman for his favorite pair of goggles. He'd been saving to buy another pair after his first broke during a battle but this was perfect! Ruka struggled to breathe within his grasp, exhausted of the tall men of the Gotei 13 that kept dangling her off the ground as if she were a stuffed animal. Why couldn't she channel her inner Suì-Fēng and kick them in the head?

Ruka waived her arms helplessly as she caught notice of Izuru inside the office and managed to cry out, "Tell Captain Hisagi I died gloriously- pecked to death by a gang of baby ducks!"


End file.
